Wondering when those of you who have done second-parent adoption completed the process. I know it can be started before the baby is born and can't be completed until after birth, but I'm wondering if anyone waited a while after birth and whether or not that was an issue.
We just started the process of having wills, POA, health proxies etc drawn up and I really don't think we have the cash at this point to complete SPA as well. To me, the wills etc are more important, particularly because we live in MA, are legally married, my wife will be on the birth certificate, and within the first couple years of our son's life, it's extremely unlikely that we would be traveling anywhere outside of a handful of northeastern states that also have gay marriage and recognize ours. We also have very supportive families we are close to, and I am literally 100% sure that my family would never try to take our son away from my wife if anything happened to me. And my wife, who is the most at risk in the absence of a SPA, is the one who is most hesitant to go through with one at this point (mostly because she is also the one who manages our money).
About how much did you pay an attorney for SPA? How about for wills, health proxies, POA, etc?
Married my wife 8/2007 ~ TTC #1 since 7/2011
9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
*Everyone welcome*
Re: Second-parent adoption: cost, timing?
9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
*Everyone welcome*
9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
*Everyone welcome*
Me - 30, My wife - 31 , Together for 10 yrs - Married August 2012
5 medicated IUIs w/ RE (March - July 2013) = BFN
Fresh IVF Cycle in September 2013 resulted in 18 mature eggs, 16 fertilized, 12 made it to day 5. Transfer of 2 Grade A blastocysts on 9/15/13, and 10 embryos in the freezer! *****BFP on 9/25/13 - betas: @10dp5dt = 232; @12dp5dt = 465; @15dp5dt = 1,581 *********William George born June 4, 2014*********9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
*Everyone welcome*
I am not sure the fees are tax deductible now due to the change in the marriage laws. If I recall correctly, it was one of those loop holes we could get through since we couldn't be legally married.
9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
*Everyone welcome*
Wow, I'm totally jealous of the DIY option!
We paid about $4k but that included a name change for me (cleaning up some bad legal advice from my divorce a million years ago). We began the process when I was about 7 months pregnant and it was finalized when G was 4 1/2 months.
The adoption expenses did NOT qualify for a tax credit. I believe that this would have been a federal credit, rather than a state one, so it will be consistent across the country no matter whether your state recognizes the marriage or not. It was a big bummer for us.
Married to my amazing wife 6/12/10
TTC since 6/11
Unmedicated IUI #1 - 6/28/11 - BFN
Unmedicated IUI #2 - 7/25/11 - BFN
Robotic Myomectomy (Fibroid Surgery) - 11/15/11
Unmedicated IUI #3 - 4/24/12 - BFN
Progesterone Supported Leuteal Phase IUI #4 - 6/21/12 - BFP!!
Baby Boy G Born 3/24/13
On to #2, are we crazy?
IUI #1 - 11/28/14 - BFP! Beta #1 (11DPO) 34, Beta #2 (13DPO) 101, Beta #3 (20DPO) 3043
Ultrasound at 6w4d shows a single, fluttering heartbeat. Say hello to Sticky Ricki!
@redrockmama You could get your wills/poa/hcd done today for not a lot of $$ by using an on-line resource. You'll need to rewrite/revise once baby comes (and I would think you'd want to utilize the services of an in-person lawyer for that) but for peace of mind for now, and to reduce proctrastination, I see it as a legitimate option.
We did it in 2010 prior to an international trip, and used rocketlawyer.com.
I'm also curious to hear if anyone on this board that works in the legal profession has negative things to say about this?
Married to my amazing wife 6/12/10
TTC since 6/11
Unmedicated IUI #1 - 6/28/11 - BFN
Unmedicated IUI #2 - 7/25/11 - BFN
Robotic Myomectomy (Fibroid Surgery) - 11/15/11
Unmedicated IUI #3 - 4/24/12 - BFN
Progesterone Supported Leuteal Phase IUI #4 - 6/21/12 - BFP!!
Baby Boy G Born 3/24/13
On to #2, are we crazy?
IUI #1 - 11/28/14 - BFP! Beta #1 (11DPO) 34, Beta #2 (13DPO) 101, Beta #3 (20DPO) 3043
Ultrasound at 6w4d shows a single, fluttering heartbeat. Say hello to Sticky Ricki!
9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
*Everyone welcome*
I just read this over... I don't mean to sound pushy at all, I hope it doesn't come off like that. Of course if you would be more comfortable using an attorney I completely understand. I know I would have liked all this info beforehand so I just want to pass it along in case it helps