cycle#35 suck it

SassFrass · April 2014

SO this just hasn't been my cycle at all. While the Clomid DID make me O, this cycle was unsuccessful. So, I start round 2 on Sat.

On top of AF showing up... I got the worst call last night. A good friend from high school died yesterday. He was in a freak accident loading hay, and its just so....unreal. I feel pretty numb inside still, its jus so hard to even comprehend, we were all getting together on Saturday, and now he's gone...

fuck this cycle altogether.

Edited to fix typos...

Mommalawyer · April 2014

Im sorry. It tough doing your first medicated cycle and have it be a bust. I think that we build hope in that its going to magically change with medication and medical assistance that first time, then we get let down. Sorry about your friend also.

Momarazzi007 · April 2014

I'm so sorry about your friend. I know the bfn only makes it harder. There is a reason we call them rainbow babies- when we finally get them it makes all the rain and storms all but a memory. I hope this is your cycle!

SassFrass · April 2014

Thanks ladies... The bfn isn't even the most of my worries... the accident shouldn't of happen... they shouldn't of left him alone...

pettycrocker · April 2014

Sorry to hear about your friend. Good luck next cycle.

Jodee37 · April 2014

i'm so sorry to hear about your loss. and a bfn really just tops it off. (((hugs)))

CeCe8579 · April 2014

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I'm also not trying to knit pick but why are you continuing with the Clomid before having your DH tested? Sorry, I'm just concerned about you medicating and putting yourself through hell if your DH has IF issues too.

GraceyandTroy · April 2014

Sorry for your bfn and for your friend.

SassFrass · April 2014

Iloveshanej said:

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I'm also not trying to knit pick but why are you continuing with the Clomid before having your DH tested? Sorry, I'm just concerned about you medicating and putting yourself through hell if your DH has IF issues too.

too is your key word, I DO have fertility issues so its not just him if he does happen to have issues... I have to do at least three cycles per my doctor. They WONT do a SA on DH until then, like I have said before.

no Clomid, no SA.

CeCe8579 · April 2014

But what if he has issues that are the cause of you not conceiving and you're just wasting the medicated cycles. I guess I'm missing you're doctor's logic. Have you brought that point up?

GraceyandTroy · April 2014

I would leave that dr, @SassFrass‌!!! That is not best practice and is a terrible approach. I'd either insist on a SA for DH, or find a new dr right away.

pettycrocker · April 2014

Whoa, yea. That seems insane. Clomid is no joke and a lot of places will only allow 6 cycles max. in a lifetime. If he's shooting blanks, I'd be so super annoyed to have basically wasted 3 Clomid cycles.

I agree with the above, sounds like it's time to find a new Dr that isn't a complete moron.

Did you have an HSG?

CeCe8579 · April 2014

I agree, @GraceyandTroy‌. Clomid cycles should be limited and it's pointless to take a medication to treat just you if he has IF issues too. Trust me, I'm going through that!

GraceyandTroy · April 2014

What do you mean they won't do the sperm analysis? You said you have no insurance coverage for this stuff anyways, so if you're going to pay for it why would they refused to do it? It's a test not a treatment. So there's no medical or ethical reason for them to refuse it.

CeCe8579 · April 2014

GraceyandTroy said:
What do you mean they won't do the sperm analysis? You said you have no insurance coverage for this stuff anyways, so if you're going to pay for it why would they refused to do it? It's a test not a treatment. So there's no medical or ethical reason for them to refuse it.

I have to agree. I think it's actually unethical to treat you without the proper testing.

Jodee37 · April 2014

@sassfrass i can't help but agree with the general consensus that your RE is a moron. who in their right mind won't do a SA? it's the quickest easiest test. i'm totally perplexed at this logic.

TripMomma · April 2014

You don't need an RE to order the test, your DH's regular Doc or a urologist can order it too. I would for sure check that out before I wasted any more time or money without knowing the facts.

CeCe8579 · April 2014

Oh, yeah. My DH went through a urologist for this last round of testing and he is who prescribed him Clomid. The SA wasn't much at all.

MrsLaurenandDan · April 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I do agree with everyone else. I know it probably feels like your hands are tied bcause this is how your OB does it, and there probably aren't many options where you are and certainly no RE. Can you see if you can get your H an appointment with a urologist? Sometimes you have to bypass your current providers to get the best care. Thinking of you.

MrsLaurenandDan · April 2014

FYI - There is an RE in Lubbock TX. Looks like that's much closer to you than ABQ.

SassFrass · April 2014

I was looking at that last night @MrsLaurenandDan, I found her on a random google search... I need to call and get as much information as I can, however, I am not sure we can afford the cost up front, we may have to wait until around March of next year to do an actual RE, with driving expenses and office visits etc, but she has GREAT reviews and a really high success rate...

I have been asking til I am blue in the face for an SA and while she has done everything else.... she insists on me being on Clomid.

I feel like choosing an RE now is going to bench us for awhile... and obviously NONE of us want to be benched ever....

@Iloveshanej, I'm sorry if I came of bitchy yesterday.... It was just a shitty day

MrsLaurenandDan · April 2014

I totally get that! I did femara with an OB the first time around because it took 5m to get into an RE where I was living. That's why I suggested a urologust, or asking your H's GP. They may be able to get it done quickly and then you don't need your OB's "permission."

SassFrass · April 2014

very true... he hasn't seen a GP in YEARS, he's "one of those" lol I may give it a shot though... I mean the worst I can be told at this point is "no"

SassFrass · April 2014

BTW @MrsLauranandDan, I am super FX for your IUI! How many days past are you now?? and what is the next step, I think I missed your update?

MrsLaurenandDan · April 2014

@SassFrass Ugh. My H is one of "those" too. We moved over a year ago and he STILL hasn't set up a GP.

I'm 6DPIUI and they quadrupled my progeserone. They want me on it until 14DPIUI.

The next step is more blood tests today (a repeat loss panel. I have this weird thing where I tend to get a faint line on multiple brand tests for about one day a cycle and then it is gone. Only on 25IU tests, never 40. Across brands. So I don't know if it's just flukes, bad evaps, false positives, or CPs, but they want to do RPL testing just in case.) Then if this cycle is a bust we'll do a radiological hyst, and clomid IUIs for 2-3 cycles before moving on to injectables or IVF.

SassFrass · April 2014

AHhhhh I see, You know that is odd, I do the same thing! just my last cycle before I started the Clomid, I had gotten a faint BFP, but when I went in to test it was gone and my quant was at a .9.... so I am not sure whats up with that either!

FX for you though I am super excited!

CeCe8579 · April 2014

@SassFrass‌ I've been benched since December and will be until DH gets the green light on his SA. Some here have been benched longer. Sometimes it's necessary to make sure your getting the right treatment.

Have you outright confronted your OB about the SA being don't because you realize if your DH has IF issues then the Clomid is a waste?

Also, have you explained to your DH the importance of a SA? Maybe he's not ready?

GraceyandTroy · April 2014

Are your cycles really short? I noticed in your sig that you've only been married since 2013 but you're on cycle 45 now? You were ttc since before you were married, right?

SassFrass · April 2014

@GraceyandTroy together for 4 years, ttc for 3 and married for 1....

CeCe8579 · April 2014

So TTCing for 3 or 4 years? I understand TTCing before marriage because my husband and I did but I'll be 35 this year and have Lupus. Has he expressed if this is what he wants or not? Sorry, I'm getting a little confused.

GraceyandTroy · April 2014

SassFrass said:

@GraceyandTroy together for 4 years, ttc for 3 and married for 1....

Gotcha. The cycle #46 threw me off. Thanks for clarifying. But wouldn't that make it cycle 36, not 46?

I'm trying to make sense of the SA issue. Obviously there's got to be more to the story since I don't know you in real life, but based on what you've shared, it sounds like maybe you're more motivated to have a baby than your husband is? I would think he would be supporting you and helping you get what you guys really need rather than blowing you off and just agreeing with whatever your Dr says even though you're telling him the Dr is wrong. I'm sorry you're being teamed up on. That stinks

Edit: typo

CeCe8579 · April 2014

@SassFrass‌, I think you and your DH need to get on the same page and then revisit things. Also, please make sure to get your story straight every time :-) Kthxbye. Oh and PO!

GraceyandTroy · April 2014

The timing seems fishy. PO

Momarazzi007 · April 2014

It really seems like things in your stories keep changing, getting bigger and bigger and more and more drama... I'm not saying you husband doesn't want more kids, it just seems like he doesn't right now. I think I can say with full support on this one that any DH of any woman on here would gladly do a hundred SAs if it meant they could have a kid- even the macho embarrassed ones. And I don't care how screwy a doctor is, any doctor knows to test both parties or they could be held for malpractice bc that shit is just negligent.

CeCe8579 · April 2014

Agree @Momarazzi007‌
You said what I was trying to say but could only get to PO!

Momarazzi007 · April 2014

Oh, yeah, PO!

annibes · April 2014

I see a PO is in order here!

MrsLaurenandDan · April 2014

Ok, help me out PO?

TripMomma · April 2014

Momarazzi007 said:

It really seems like things in your stories keep changing, getting bigger and bigger and more and more drama... I'm not saying you husband doesn't want more kids, it just seems like he doesn't right now. I think I can say with full support on this one that any DH of any woman on here would gladly do a hundred SAs if it meant they could have a kid- even the macho embarrassed ones. And I don't care how screwy a doctor is, any doctor knows to test both parties or they could be held for malpractice bc that shit is just negligent.

Agreed. Most OB's will only do fertility help for a short while...since that is not their area of study (when I started STC the first time my OB gave me 3 months then I had to see an RE) I can not see an OB letting it go on this long without digging deeper, or sending you to an RE. Not to mention why would you go thorough 45 cycles without proper testing...what if your DH is shooting blanks, you have wasted 45 months, and whatever money all that has cost. This is all total BS or you should pull your head out.

AprilDrew04 · April 2014

I know that a GP can do a SA because when we started our IF journey that is who did our fist one. That being said he is also the one who said it was ok when it wasn't, so know what the numbers should be and ask that they give you the exact numbers after the SA.

Jodee37 · April 2014

<----- totes a 2IF newbs... what's PO? :::retreats back under rock:::

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