One and done now

lest12 · April 2014

At the beginning of this pregnancy, we were thinking, maybe we're one and done... But now, god willing, I'm sure we'll make a go at another. I can't believe I'm saying this, because I never thought I'd feel this way and I try not to be gushy on the internet, but I ended up embracing pregnancy and impending motherhood much more than I would have imagined for myself. DH and I have bonded in such a different way over starting a family, as well. We are both already excited about expanding again. Let's hope we still have all the feels after a few months of new parenthood, though, lol.

allrightmeow · April 2014

We are not closing ourselves off to the possibility of having a third. which would actually make it the fourth child since my sisters kid that I take care of is practically ours.

Mia081081 · April 2014

Definitely two and done. That was always the plan and we live in a high COL area in a 2bd condo. We want a 3bd as soon as we can afford one but it will likely be a few years. I love our family-friendly neighborhood and would rather squeeze into tight quarters than get a big house 15 minutes away.

PressLove · April 2014

DH is an only child and would like to start on #2 right away. As older parents our time is limited, but I don't want to rush any moments with this baby in preparation for another one. Only time will tell.

becomingmommyagain · April 2014

This is DHs only and we have an emby on ice. We will definitely give that one a chance as well and probably as soon as reasonably possible.

Although I respect anyone's decision to be one & done or two and through....I would highly discourage any woman from doing elective sterilization. Especially if you are younger than 30. Although I hope you are with your soul mate now and life will be full of rainbows and unicorns, that's not always the case.

I had my tubes tied after my 3rd baby at 22 years old. It was a drastic measure to prevent further pregnancies. It seemed like a good idea at the time. After about 5 years I began regretting that decision. Not just because I wanted to have another baby but knowing that I couldn't have one if I wanted to. I got divorced and remarried and my DH had no children of his own. It took 10 years of marriage before we could afford to attempt any fertility treatments. And we've spent every penny of our savings and cashed out retirements to get our LO.

If you dont want another baby and don't want to do BC, I would highly recommend asking your DH to do the vasectomy. Its a much less drastic procedure with faster recovery time and if in 5 years you both decide to have another baby, its way cheaper to have undone and easier recovery than the hell you have to put your body through for IVF.

Not to mention...if your DH ends up not being your soul-mate....it hurts beyond measure to see your ex-H having babies with their new spouse and you are left "barren" and unable to give your new spouse a child without an extremely expensive and painful procedure.

ashquack · April 2014

Ugh I cant even imagine doing this again right now- after all the fertility treatments/IVF to get this sticky one thennn a miserable pregnancy I may call it a day after Baby boy gets here- last week I couldn't walk due to extreme sciatic pain. Yep, I am good on another kiddo lol

flerlgirl · April 2014

becomingmommyagain said:

This is DHs only and we have an emby on ice. We will definitely give that one a chance as well and probably as soon as reasonably possible.

Although I respect anyone's decision to be one & done or two and through....I would highly discourage any woman from doing elective sterilization. Especially if you are younger than 30. Although I hope you are with your soul mate now and life will be full of rainbows and unicorns, that's not always the case.

I had my tubes tied after my 3rd baby at 22 years old. It was a drastic measure to prevent further pregnancies. It seemed like a good idea at the time. After about 5 years I began regretting that decision. Not just because I wanted to have another baby but knowing that I couldn't have one if I wanted to. I got divorced and remarried and my DH had no children of his own. It took 10 years of marriage before we could afford to attempt any fertility treatments. And we've spent every penny of our savings and cashed out retirements to get our LO.

If you dont want another baby and don't want to do BC, I would highly recommend asking your DH to do the vasectomy. Its a much less drastic procedure with faster recovery time and if in 5 years you both decide to have another baby, its way cheaper to have undone and easier recovery than the hell you have to put your body through for IVF.

Not to mention...if your DH ends up not being your soul-mate....it hurts beyond measure to see your ex-H having babies with their new spouse and you are left "barren" and unable to give your new spouse a child without an extremely expensive and painful procedure.

I am not an expert by any means but I thought in some cases vasectomies were not reversible? I mean in theory they all are but it isn't guaranteed to work. Did I make that up?

chloephoebecali · April 2014

I was one and done and shortly after giving birth I remember thinking that I could and would want to do it all again. All the aches/pains/stresses seemed to vanish from my mind as if they they never happend.

steprozz · April 2014

flerlgirl said:

becomingmommyagain said:

This is DHs only and we have an emby on ice. We will definitely give that one a chance as well and probably as soon as reasonably possible.

Although I respect anyone's decision to be one & done or two and through....I would highly discourage any woman from doing elective sterilization. Especially if you are younger than 30. Although I hope you are with your soul mate now and life will be full of rainbows and unicorns, that's not always the case.

I had my tubes tied after my 3rd baby at 22 years old. It was a drastic measure to prevent further pregnancies. It seemed like a good idea at the time. After about 5 years I began regretting that decision. Not just because I wanted to have another baby but knowing that I couldn't have one if I wanted to. I got divorced and remarried and my DH had no children of his own. It took 10 years of marriage before we could afford to attempt any fertility treatments. And we've spent every penny of our savings and cashed out retirements to get our LO.

If you dont want another baby and don't want to do BC, I would highly recommend asking your DH to do the vasectomy. Its a much less drastic procedure with faster recovery time and if in 5 years you both decide to have another baby, its way cheaper to have undone and easier recovery than the hell you have to put your body through for IVF.

Not to mention...if your DH ends up not being your soul-mate....it hurts beyond measure to see your ex-H having babies with their new spouse and you are left "barren" and unable to give your new spouse a child without an extremely expensive and painful procedure.

I am not an expert by any means but I thought in some cases vasectomies were not reversible? I mean in theory they all are but it isn't guaranteed to work. Did I make that up?

-------stupid quote fail---
I have heard that too. I have also heard vasectomies don't always work in the first place and some of those suckers can still get through.
also, I am surprised you found a doctor willing to tie your tubes at 22 regardless of how many babies you already had. that's really young!

Cstarks2013 · April 2014

I'm about 99.9% sure that we're done after this. This will be my 2nd, and his only child. This pregnancy has been rough... Not interested in doing it again.

katekat8721 · April 2014

From what I've heard, you can reverse the vasectomy if it's within 10 years or so. After that, no bueno.

jshrop · April 2014

One of my guy friends tried to reverse his at 5 years and it didn't work. He was pretty down about it but they knew it was a risk.

becomingmommyagain · April 2014

stephross88 said:

becomingmommyagain said:

This is DHs only and we have an emby on ice. We will definitely give that one a chance as well and probably as soon as reasonably possible.

Although I respect anyone's decision to be one & done or two and through....I would highly discourage any woman from doing elective sterilization. Especially if you are younger than 30. Although I hope you are with your soul mate now and life will be full of rainbows and unicorns, that's not always the case.

I had my tubes tied after my 3rd baby at 22 years old. It was a drastic measure to prevent further pregnancies. It seemed like a good idea at the time. After about 5 years I began regretting that decision. Not just because I wanted to have another baby but knowing that I couldn't have one if I wanted to. I got divorced and remarried and my DH had no children of his own. It took 10 years of marriage before we could afford to attempt any fertility treatments. And we've spent every penny of our savings and cashed out retirements to get our LO.

If you dont want another baby and don't want to do BC, I would highly recommend asking your DH to do the vasectomy. Its a much less drastic procedure with faster recovery time and if in 5 years you both decide to have another baby, its way cheaper to have undone and easier recovery than the hell you have to put your body through for IVF.

Not to mention...if your DH ends up not being your soul-mate....it hurts beyond measure to see your ex-H having babies with their new spouse and you are left "barren" and unable to give your new spouse a child without an extremely expensive and painful procedure.

I am not an expert by any means but I thought in some cases vasectomies were not reversible? I mean in theory they all are but it isn't guaranteed to work. Did I make that up?
-------stupid quote fail--- I have heard that too. I have also heard vasectomies don't always work in the first place and some of those suckers can still get through. also, I am surprised you found a doctor willing to tie your tubes at 22 regardless of how many babies you already had. that's really young!

Tubal's aren't always effective at reversals either...and the older you get and more time since surgery the less chance of a successful reversal and the greater chance of tubal pregnancies resulting. As with any procedure there are risks... Reversal for a tubal is major surgery. Its my understanding that reversal for vasectomy is much less invasive.

As for being 22 at time of the tubal...I agree I was too young and they probably should not have done it. But between my ex-H and I we had 4 kids (he was 5 years older than me and already had a daughter). I also had 3 high risk pregnancies with pre-eclampsia for #1, spontaneous preterm delivery at 34 weeks for #2, and GD+Spontaneous preterm delivery at 32w4d with #3. I had this done in 1999 in Florida, there is no age limit of acceptability or # of prior gestations that were required to make it legal, however, its my understanding that insurance companies may refuse it. I know my doctor had to submit paperwork and medical history justification to the insurance company to get pre-authorization.

But, one thing you should know, Insurance will gladly pay to sterilize, but they will not pay to reverse it. Its considered an elective surgery. So keep that in mind if you are considering. Our RE's office told us their fees for reversal of the procedure that I had done were going to be $5400. This did not include the hospital fees - just physician fees. And there would be no support from the insurance company at all. Since it had been 14 years, I was also given a less than 50% chance of success and would have to wait 6 months before we could even begin trying. And being over 35, time was not something we were willing to give up. I was also diagnosed with DOR, which made the likelihood of getting pregnant after a reversal much lower and I was told I'd likely need fertility meds in order to get pregnant.

Take it for what it is, I hope those who do elect sterilizations never regret them, but know there is a large percentage of women who do regret it. I'd never recommend it

fsumom · April 2014

We were one and done but changed our minds. DD will be 8 this year...eek!

hubbs173 · April 2014

We had always planned on having 2 kids, but after all I went through with this pregnancy and labor I don't know if I wanna go through it again. Especially after needing an emergency D&C and a blood transfusion. DH even told me the other night that we don't have to decide now but he will be ok if I tell him I don't want another baby. He said he doesn't want to risk my health, which I completely agree with, that was really scary when I was bleeding and my blood pressure dropped so low!! So maybe we'll have another one in a couple years, but I'm leaning toward Henry being an only child!!! I'd like Henry to grow up with a sibling like I did, but I guess we'll see!

jaybee11 · April 2014

This question makes me laugh because I've had so many people tell me I'm lucky to have twins--be pregnant once and be done! As much as this pregnancy has taken the wind out of my sails for a second round, I would really like to try for at least one more child, and would love to have a little boy. We have two embryos frozen from IVF, and DH and I went into the process agreeing that we would give any and all snowbabies a chance. If the stars align, we could have two more, but I'm adamant that we do it one at a time from now on!

Pepper6 · April 2014

DH and I have only ever wanted two, so since this is our first, we'll be doing this one more time. DH will most likely be getting a vasectomy shortly after #2 is born.

efino87 · April 2014

We will be "two and through" after this pregnancy. We had talked about having a third but my body struggles to stay pregnant and the cost associated with this pregnancy is going to wipe us out financially. Since we will end up meeting our out of pocket maximum I would like to have tubal done this year. Even if way down the road we separated, (I really hope not, I kinda like him) I would not want to risk another pregnancy. I feel very blessed with the little family I have and don't want to push my luck a third time.

Plus, I think my fur babies would commit mutiny if we tried for a third.

sparklenshine_89 · April 2014

This is our last! I think 3 boys are more than enough for me

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