Lay it on me...how did the baby shower go?

rastrau · April 2014

jldcjs said:

Do any of you have friends who are all separate....like you don't have a group of friends? My sister offered to throw me a shower, but of my few friends, none of even met each other. Is that just too much awkwardness? It kind of makes me feel stressed, but the other option is no shower (or maybe a coed shower)??

In the interest of having only one shower, I'm having my few friends and my family all at one. I just plan to introduce the friends who haven't met to one another and in doing so, provide a conversation-starting detail. ie "this is my friend Amy who is a California transplant and just had her first DS last summer" "this is my friend Jodie who is a surfer girl at heart and has a DS toddler at home". I figure anyone with kids will be able to talk to anyone else with kids about that, at the very least. The couple of friends without kids know one another, so they're set.

jldcjs · April 2014

rastrau said:

jldcjs said:

Do any of you have friends who are all separate....like you don't have a group of friends? My sister offered to throw me a shower, but of my few friends, none of even met each other. Is that just too much awkwardness? It kind of makes me feel stressed, but the other option is no shower (or maybe a coed shower)??

In the interest of having only one shower, I'm having my few friends and my family all at one. I just plan to introduce the friends who haven't met to one another and in doing so, provide a conversation-starting detail. ie "this is my friend Amy who is a California transplant and just had her first DS last summer" "this is my friend Jodie who is a surfer girl at heart and has a DS toddler at home". I figure anyone with kids will be able to talk to anyone else with kids about that, at the very least. The couple of friends without kids know one another, so they're set.

Unfortunately NONE of my friends have kids. Ugh. You are so right, that is such a good conversation starter though.

kk627 · April 2014

rastrau said:

kk627 said:

Please tell me if I'm being totally unreasonable here: I just found out this morning, after prodding DH for information, that my shower is supposed to be a surprise! Is that something people do? [...]

I have heard of showers at work thrown by co-workers being a surprise, but never a family shower! I would be supremely irritated if I looked like crap and everyone else was all dressed up. However, DH knows that one of my greatest pet peeves in life is to be publicly embarrassed and this would qualify - if he didn't clue me in ahead of time he knows he'd be a dead man.

But as a PP said, at least they mean well! And now you know to go shopping

That's why DH broke down and told me, he knows I HATE surprises. I definitely know MIL means well, she doesn't have a mean bone in her body. She just doesn't think things through sometimes.

k2k2tog · April 2014

jldcjs said:

Do any of you have friends who are all separate....like you don't have a group of friends? My sister offered to throw me a shower, but of my few friends, none of even met each other. Is that just too much awkwardness? It kind of makes me feel stressed, but the other option is no shower (or maybe a coed shower)??

Yup! It's actually made shower planning really stressful for me too. One friend really wanted to throw me a shower, so I agreed, and then stressed over the guest list because most of my friends don't know each other. I asked that she include some of my aunts and cousins as well, fully expecting a lot of those friends to turn down the invitation to an awkward shower where they don't know anyone in favour of a one-on-one coffee date with me before baby comes. So, if none of them come, hopefully some of my family comes, at least, and we'll have a small, relaxed and fun party!

I did suggest to the host that wine might be a good idea at the shower, even if I can't drink it. And now, I'm just reminding myself that now that the invites are out, I have to just sit back and let my friend throw me the party, no matter who decides to come and whether they happen to enjoy themselves.

Valie18 · April 2014

@hampire You win/lose.

k2k2tog · April 2014

I need all your thoughts! My MIL just offered to throw me a shower with my DH's side of the family 2 weeks after my due date. They live 1.5 - 2 hours away. What do you think? Good idea? Bad idea?

jldcjs · April 2014

sempre_staccato said:

jldcjs said:

Do any of you have friends who are all separate....like you don't have a group of friends? My sister offered to throw me a shower, but of my few friends, none of even met each other. Is that just too much awkwardness? It kind of makes me feel stressed, but the other option is no shower (or maybe a coed shower)??

Yup! It's actually made shower planning really stressful for me too. One friend really wanted to throw me a shower, so I agreed, and then stressed over the guest list because most of my friends don't know each other. I asked that she include some of my aunts and cousins as well, fully expecting a lot of those friends to turn down the invitation to an awkward shower where they don't know anyone in favour of a one-on-one coffee date with me before baby comes. So, if none of them come, hopefully some of my family comes, at least, and we'll have a small, relaxed and fun party!

I did suggest to the host that wine might be a good idea at the shower, even if I can't drink it. And now, I'm just reminding myself that now that the invites are out, I have to just sit back and let my friend throw me the party, no matter who decides to come and whether they happen to enjoy themselves.

Haha! Alcohol is definitely essential for the guests if I have one too

When is yours? Let me know how it goes! I'm sure it will be great.

Valie18 · April 2014

sempre_staccato said:

I need all your thoughts! My MIL just offered to throw me a shower with my DH's side of the family 2 weeks after my due date. They live 1.5 - 2 hours away. What do you think? Good idea? Bad idea?

Bad idea. I think I read that first babies are born at 41w1d on average. So, if you are average, you could be making a 4 hour round trip with a days old baby (not to mention only having had days to recover yourself.) Or you could not be average...

jldcjs · April 2014

Valie18 said:

sempre_staccato said:

I need all your thoughts! My MIL just offered to throw me a shower with my DH's side of the family 2 weeks after my due date. They live 1.5 - 2 hours away. What do you think? Good idea? Bad idea?

Bad idea. I think I read that first babies are born at 41w1d on average. So, if you are average, you could be making a 4 hour round trip with a days old baby (not to mention only having had days to recover yourself.) Or you could not be average...

I agree. It is way too hard to predict how you might feel, how the baby will be, etc.

temursgirl · April 2014

@jldcjsWe have lots of "separate friends." We are having multiple showers, which helps somewhat and keeps the numbers down for individual hosts. All our showers are coed, which also helps. We sometimes throw really big parties where we invite everyone, so they've mostly at least met each other before, and most of them will know at least one other couple a little. I don't think it's a big deal. We get invited to events all the time where we don't really know anyone.

@sempre_staccato I wouldn't. Too unpredictable. You don't know when LO will actually arrive, how your recovery will go, etc. You and @hampire could go into labor at your ILs' showers! My aunt wanted to do our shower in mid-June (I'm due the 28th). Our family has a history of being slightly early, which she obviously knows. My other aunt tried to convince her that June is off limits and I might be really uncomfortable by then, but she didn't go for it. The other aunt is now spending most of May and June in NY, thus forcing the shower into the beginning of May. She's my favorite aunt right now!

k2k2tog · April 2014

Thanks for the input everyone! I have also realized that the weekend she's proposing (June 28) is followed up by June 1 on the Tuesday, which is Canada Day here, and which means most people will consider that weekend a long weekend. Another reason to move it, as if my own comfort wasn't enough... I hate imposing on people's long weekends.

pcourtade · April 2014

@jldcjs‌ no, it's just for her. This is my second so I'm not expecting a shower. It is cool that we're so close together. We love to talk about our pregnancies when we're together.

temursgirl · April 2014

sempre_staccato said:

Thanks for the input everyone! I have also realized that the weekend she's proposing (June 28) is followed up by June 1 on the Tuesday, which is Canada Day here, and which means most people will consider that weekend a long weekend. Another reason to move it, as if my own comfort wasn't enough... I hate imposing on people's long weekends.

And you can also mention the heavy holiday traffic, maybe people already have travel plans, if anyone is coming from OT it will cost them more, etc.

jwarnerb · April 2014

jldcjs said: Do any of you have friends who are all separate....like you don't have a group of friends? My sister offered to throw me a shower, but of my few friends, none of even met each other. Is that just too much awkwardness? It kind of makes me feel stressed, but the other option is no shower (or maybe a coed shower)?? We just had our shower this weekend and in the interest of having only one shower we invited friends from all our groups and family too. We also did coed (I insisted after the awkwardness of opening gifts solo at our wedding shower...shudder) and those two aspects combined made it a big, fun party that happened to be a baby shower. My two friends (and help from my mom) that hosted it were really cool with having a big, random-invite shower though.

Short answer- I vote for big, random friend, coed showers! I think they're LESS awkward.

jldcjs · April 2014

jwarnerb said:

jldcjs said:

Do any of you have friends who are all separate....like you don't have a group of friends? My sister offered to throw me a shower, but of my few friends, none of even met each other. Is that just too much awkwardness? It kind of makes me feel stressed, but the other option is no shower (or maybe a coed shower)??

We just had our shower this weekend and in the interest of having only one shower we invited friends from all our groups and family too. We also did coed (I insisted after the awkwardness of opening gifts solo at our wedding shower...shudder) and those two aspects combined made it a big, fun party that happened to be a baby shower. My two friends (and help from my mom) that hosted it were really cool with having a big, random-invite shower though.

Short answer- I vote for big, random friend, coed showers! I think they're LESS awkward.

What time of day did you have the party? If it is all girls I think brunch is typical, but coed? Nighttime? Afternoon?

zg49 · April 2014

We had our shower this past Sunday. Had such a great time! It was a small event, just close family and friends. My sister in law planned it all with the help of my mom and they did such an awesome job!

Ours was girls only, had it at 2pm so we had sandwiches and other finger foods - veggies, fruit kabobs, dips, etc. plus cake

Got a lot of great stuff - no doubles on gifts which surprised me! Now to just organize everything we have and get it into baby girls room.

colllydon · April 2014

They had a shower for me at work today. On top of my travel system the also bought me all these goodies. I feel very blessed. There was some drama but I chose to ignore it and enjoy the good people.

JBC2020 · April 2014

I got a peek at the invitation last night at a friends house. It's a "surprise" so I knew nothing and can't say anything, not that it would matter anyways, but on top of again not including both registries it's a fricken POTLUCK! I feel so bad for the guests now they are expected to bring a gift from a store that's like 40 mins away but also have to cook.

Can I please please just be sick that day. I would almost consider licking a handrail in the subway in order to be sick enough to not show my face at this. Doubt anyone would notice anyways.

JK I would never purposely get myself sick like that. I know someone died a few years ago.

b48kate · April 2014

JBC2020 said:
I got a peek at the invitation last night at a friends house. It's a "surprise" so I knew nothing and can't say anything, not that it would matter anyways, but on top of again not including both registries it's a fricken POTLUCK! I feel so bad for the guests now they are expected to bring a gift from a store that's like 40 mins away but also have to cook.

Can I please please just be sick that day. I would almost consider licking a handrail in the subway in order to be sick enough to not show my face at this. Doubt anyone would notice anyways.

JK I would never purposely get myself sick like that. I know someone died a few years ago.

My shower is a potluck and I am thrilled! My work girlfriends and I have done potluck showers in the past and never had a problem. Usually turns out to a multicultural buffet bonanza. I am guaranteed some awesome East African, Philippine, Mexican and Afghani dishes (along with the potluck staples). I'm sure to some etiquette lovers this may be tacky - but trust me, it has turned out fine in the past.

JmeJoLee83 · April 2014

Mine is tomorrow!! ;-)

QSerMama · April 2014

My shower is today! Can't wait to get the ball rolling and get this happy, memorable day started.

Hope my fellow shower date twins have an amazing day too!

Jazznit1984 · April 2014

Just had my shower. I ended up with some really thoughtful gifts. My girlfriends made a huge deal. It was lovely. The games were short but entertaining and the food was fantastic. Feeling really blessed right now.

whoberry · April 2014

@babywear That cake has some big boobies!!!

Sprinkles86 · April 2014

My shower was lovely with help from my mom family and friends our little prince theme wAS PERFECTLY executed! I was so grateful the games were a bit boring but im not a huge game fan! Food was great was a little overwhelmed with 50 plus people and so many gifts i opted to not open them in front of everyone and do it at home our registry was pretty much complete! I hope everyone has fabulous showers full of love & family & friends!

So grateful for my family & friends everything was beautiful

Kinipela7 · April 2014

Had my shower yesterday it was great! Didn't even miss MIL one bit! Everyone was so thoughtful and generous - overwhelmed with the amount of clothes we got! The only thing we need to buy ourselves is a monitor. Win.

Misstic · April 2014

Advice please! I could really use some advice on my upcoming baby shower. My in-laws are very sweet and generous and wanted to throw us a shower. They wanted May 17. I thought it was a little late, but as it is a gift from them, I agreed. I then found out I had GD. I warned them that they may be complications and an earlier date would be better, but they refused to changed the date. It is April 13, and I am now on bedrest. The shower is 2 hours away and they will not change the date or location. They said my husband could just attend by himself. If there is an emergency and he cannot attend, they will still hold it without us.

I understand they are hosting the shower just for us and to give us a good start with the items the baby will need, but I feel guilty about the entire setup. They requested I not say anything about the bedrest online, so that more people will attend. I feel like this is deceitful and I will end up looking like a gift-grubbing selfish person with no regard for other people. I also just am kinda bummed that I am being excluded from my shower. I know their hearts are in the right place, but I feel canceling would be for the best, despite it making me look ungrateful to my in-laws. Does anyone have any advice?

Jazznit1984 · April 2014

@Misstic‌ I would put on your big girl panties and tell your husband to put his foot down with his parents. This can easily be changed to a meet and greet once babe is here. Just tell them that you are making an announcement online or by email by Tuesday. don't give them all the power. It's a shower that's being thrown for you. But it does not make any sense to host one if you aren't there. That's why people go to showers. To see the soon to be mom and rub her belly. Your husbands belly is not a viable substitute. Also I would freak if my hubs was so far away so close to my due date and if I had complications. Your man needs to step up here and do what's right for his new family.

JujuB22 · April 2014

Rachel5130 said:

Advice please! I could really use some advice on my upcoming baby shower. My in-laws are very sweet and generous and wanted to throw us a shower. They wanted May 17. I thought it was a little late, but as it is a gift from them, I agreed. I then found out I had GD. I warned them that they may be complications and an earlier date would be better, but they refused to changed the date. It is April 13, and I am now on bedrest. The shower is 2 hours away and they will not change the date or location. They said my husband could just attend by himself. If there is an emergency and he cannot attend, they will still hold it without us.

I understand they are hosting the shower just for us and to give us a good start with the items the baby will need, but I feel guilty about the entire setup. They requested I not say anything about the bedrest online, so that more people will attend. I feel like this is deceitful and I will end up looking like a gift-grubbing selfish person with no regard for other people. I also just am kinda bummed that I am being excluded from my shower. I know their hearts are in the right place, but I feel canceling would be for the best, despite it making me look ungrateful to my in-laws. Does anyone have any advice?

That sucks for you, and your potential guests. I cannot imagine my MIL saying I didn't need to be there (another few girls had this happen to them!) but that DH can attend alone. It's nice they are throwing a shower, but at the end of the day, it is for you and baby (and of course DH) and if you for sure won't be there, it seems silly to go through with it when you can plan differently. It's not like it's today and you had to go on bedrest suddenly. I would not say cancel it all necessarily, but I for sure wouldn't lie and not tell people I'm on bedrest.

Who are they to tell you to keep your bedrest a secret! Ha! You can decide if you want people to know you are on bed rest. I personally would make it public, then they can explain the shower details to anyone with questions. It doesn't sound like they are doing this for you, but for themselves. I also would not be ok with hubby going 2 hrs away with all the issues you are having. Sorry they are putting yourself in the middle of this mess, but you can take yourself out of it pretty easily. Simple facebook post "Bedrest is boring" and that should get the ball rolling. I agree too that DH needs to step up and deal with his family.

My shower is May 17th as well, and a bit worried about how late it is. If I can't attend, I highly doubt my bf would have it still. That is just silly.

Shellbaby84 · April 2014

My family put together the most amazing shower for me back home in March. I had no expectations whatsoever, and was so surprised. After dealing with infertility for so long I never even imagined having a baby shower, so it really overwhelmed me with all the thought that went into it. My friends here are throwing us a co-ed shower in a few weeks, so we are really looking forward to that too! I have a hard time posting pictures here, but they are all on my blog

https://www.therosenblits.blogspot.com/2014/03/26-weeks-showered-with-love.html

Mom&nurse · April 2014

Had mine yesterday!! Got a crap ton of clothes. Like really all we got was clothes!!! Is it wrong to return some? Plus I got summer 6/9 month ones. Really I live in the South Dakota tundra. Cried when my little sister gave me a big that said I love my aunt Emily. She is 6 years old.

I couldn't open gifts fast enough for all the kids there either. I swelled up really really bad but it did go away.

So many people and great food. It was 75 and amazing. That was my gift from my sister who is in heaven. I know it! Because today it's 34 and windy and raining.

Just overwhelming how much we still have to get though.

Mom&nurse · April 2014

Forgot picture of my cake that I love!!!

jenn72178 · April 2014

Shower was today hosted by the grandmas and my best girls. It was a "Rock" a bye baby theme complete with "VIP" backstage passes for all the guests (which were part of a game), awesome guitar themed decor and a killer cake that one of my super talented friends made. There were no joke 75 people there - it was a really special day and I'm feeling loved. I am still reeling from all the excitement and a bit overwheled looking at all the stuff we got. I hope everyone else's days go just as awesome!

BabyCurtiss2014 · April 2014

My shower was today (well yesterday the 13th...I'm up in the middle of the night w insomnia again!) The shower was actually perfect!!! My MIL hosted it and at first I didn't expect a good turnout from my friends or my family's friends but a ton of people ended up coming!! And everyone that is dear to me! My whole sorority family (big sis and grand big) were even there and that was special (I graduated college back in 05 and no longer live in the same city) and my mom and my sister really surprised me and really went all out! Even my MIL! I've been to more showers then I can count and mine was by far the nicest I've ever been to! I feel so blessed!

I did get a few duplicate gifts but NBD, I'll just return them

I'm so excited for our baby boy to arrive! He is so loved already :-)
Here are a few pics!

BabyCurtiss2014 · April 2014

Few more pics

That's my mom with balloons! That was only HALF of them!! I love balloons! My MIL made the diaper cake!

KmdnKadmom · April 2014

My shower was saturday and i could not be any happier that it is over. The only thing that went just as planned was the cake!! I was surprised about some of the gifts I got but I loved them!! But I don't understand why so many people choose not to shop off the registry then u wind up with more unnecessary things than wat u actually need!! But other than that I enjoyed myself.

LovetoLive614 · April 2014

I had my shower yesterday and it was a great day! Everything was so cute - it looked like a shower straight off of Pinterest and it was fun to have all of my favorite women in one room.

I did get mostly all clothes and only one bottle, one pack of wipes and one pack of diapers. So unfortunately I am going to have to return a lot of clothes for items that will be more useful. But I understand how hard it is to resist buying the baby girl clothes!

MrsRahl · April 2014

Love to Live said:
I had my shower yesterday and it was a great day! Everything was so cute - it looked like a shower straight off of Pinterest and it was fun to have all of my favorite women in one room.

I did get mostly all clothes and only one bottle, one pack of wipes and one pack of diapers. So unfortunately I am going to have to return a lot of clothes for items that will be more useful. But I understand how hard it is to resist buying the baby girl clothes!

I'm nervous about this for my shower. We are team green so I was hoping this wouldn't be an issue but my shower is a week away and basically nothing has been bought from my registry. I have a ton of hand me down clothes already so hopefully people pack receipts in their cards or give gift cards because we have nothing to start with but a boppy and crib!

LovetoLive614 · April 2014

MrsRahl said:

Love to Live said:
I had my shower yesterday and it was a great day! Everything was so cute - it looked like a shower
I'm nervous about this for my shower. We are team green so I was hoping this wouldn't be an issue but my shower is a week away and basically nothing has been bought from my registry. I have a ton of hand me down clothes already so hopefully people pack receipts in their cards or give gift cards because we have nothing to start with but a boppy and crib!

No I think it will end up being the exact opposite for you!! I was honestly just thinking in my head that this is probably the biggest advantage of being team green because people probably buy hardly any clothes at all. I think you will get almost all registry items. Most people usually shop the week leading up to your shower. I'm a procrastinator and always go the day of so don't worry the 'purchased" section will grow.

izzetoot · April 2014

Our shower was yesterday and was totally awesome! I encouraged my invites to bring their kiddos and we had babies from 3 mos to 2 yrs all over the house! It was so sweet:) Very relaxed, not very 'shower-y'. No games or a lot of baby decor. And was co-ed so lots of guys too. I don't think many ppl even looked at my registry bc I hardly got anything off of it. I did get a ton of diapers, wipes, bath and healthcare items. All from new moms that "know what I really need". And a bunch of gift cards so I can go shopping! I think I may have gotten a few leftovers or re-gifts too, but whateves. Overall a success!!

nmw10 · April 2014

I had a baby shower in dec I was only 3 months only because it wavin Cali an I live in wa. It went good I had a few family show up and a few friends less then I thought but it was on short notice cause I only found I was pregnant a month before. Now my girl friend is throwing my one next weekend and I'm kinda thinking it's gonna be small even though people are saying they will be there I don't really know. That's what happened in Cali I get yes I'm coming and then they never showed up. I'm excited for this shower only means I'm that much closer to meeting my baby girl.

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Lay it on me...how did the baby shower go?

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