My husband and I live with my grandmother to care for her because she has dementia (and is generally batsh*t crazy). Most of the time she doesn't remember that we live with her, she thinks we are just house guests. I love her, and I know none of her antics are her fault, but sometimes I just want to grab her and shake her and say "what the hell is wrong with you?!" Like the time she threw all of my shoes in the trash can because they weren't hers. Or the time she walked into the hubs and mine bedroom at 4am looking for her glasses (we've since gotten a locking door). Or when she puts our mail in the curb side recycling for every creeper to dig out, because she doesn't know why she has it. Or when she gets mad and goes off about how we never go home. Like she's the only one inconvenienced. I know she's not in her right mind, and I would never go off on her, but when she's in one of her moods, she goes out of her way to make me and my hubby feel like we're imposing, I just want to say 'Listen Looney Tunes, it's either this, or a home. Take your pick.' I love my grandma, but she is a handful somedays.
Edit: spelling and more ranting >>> she also keeps the house 900 degrees and gets mad because I am sick and should go home and get better instead of letting her catch what I have. I get morning sickness because she keeps the house so effing warm!!!
Dude that's tough. You are a better person than me. I will never live with or care for any of my relatives. It's just beyond my capacity. Maybe that's my FFFC. I will help my mom when I can and make sure she's getting good care, but I will never ever let her live with me.
I think I am really bad at seeing things on ultrasounds because I see people talking about how they saw right away if their baby was a boy or a girl, and the only thing I ever recognize right away is the head. At least I never have to worry about the surprise being spoiled if I don't want to know right away, I guess.
Ooh I know what my FFC is, actually it's an UO, I think it's silly to buy a home Doppler. I don't see the point of it. You get to hear the heartbeat at the DR for free. If you can't find the heartbeat yourself then you totally panic. What is the point of it?
I think I'd judge starting a fund me to pay for dog food at least as much as I would rehoming. If you can't afford food, how can you possibly afford vet care, flea/tick/heartworm prevention, etc.
My FFC is that I think kids with ninnys/pacifiers are cute. I just have a thing for it. Not after 3 though, and I know, 3 is really old but its my confession.
I have one more- when DH is away for work and my oldest is at his dads I let DS sleep with me and I don't see this changing anytime soon. He's 4.
On the dog issue - I was worried about our dog when I was pregnant, we're his 3rd owners, he's taken a lot of work the passed few years. Prior to us getting him he lived outside on a chain, I would never tie a dog on a chain so when we got him we had to train him to be a house dog, it wasn't easy. After I had the baby our dog became so protective of him!! DS absolutely loves our dog and the dog adores DS. Dogs are NOT that expensive compared to babies...and although I was worried about how things would be after the baby arrived I never for a second thought about giving my dog away, I'm his forever home!!!
I think I'd judge starting a fund me to pay for dog food at least as much as I would rehoming. If you can't afford food, how can you possibly afford vet care, flea/tick/heartworm prevention, etc.
If I see one more god damn thread related to morning sickness, I am going to lose it.
My UO is people complaining on a PREGNANCY board about people talking about being PREGNANT. What did you expect to talk about. World peace?
I get it, but we've talked it TO DEATH. We've talked about having it, not having it, how many times a day people throw up, medications to take for it, remedies for it, when it shows up, when it goes away, and on and on and on. More new threads about it at this point are just redundant.
The repeated threads don't bother me, as we're all in different phases of our pregnancy. It will be like this for 9 months - and beyond. Constipation, ultrasounds, baby kicks, sugar test, dilation etc..... Can someone use the little search function. Sure. But I think it's more about validation then anything for some of the girls.
I think it's awesome that others and myself included, have tried to initiate threads that are not baby related. This helps break the monotony.
What does drive me crazy is the repeated same answers. In the same thread. Example: will I have to pee at Drs appt? Answers, all 36896 of them. Yes, I did. You will.
If you really feel that buying dog food will be a struggle, I really have to question how you can be financially ready for a baby..
Thank you! I was thinking this exact thing while reading this thread.
I am otherwise at a loss for words on this topic...
The point was that after all of baby's expenses yes, it will be a struggle for dog food. I guess I just don't prioritize my life the same way as other people.
I don't know what type of dog you have, but I'm going to (IMO) give you a high estimate, and if $50 a month is going to make it a tight budget for you, you SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY need to take some sort of financial planning class. IMMEDIATELY.
BFP#4 3/17/14 - rainbowBaby BOY arrived 11/10/14 !!
I waited for it to warm up this afternoon before going out to scoop the sidewalk. (It snowed 5" last night.) Well, the little bit of a warm up that we get did the scooping for me.
If you really feel that buying dog food will be a struggle, I really have to question how you can be financially ready for a baby..
Thank you! I was thinking this exact thing while reading this thread.
I am otherwise at a loss for words on this topic...
The point was that after all of baby's expenses yes, it will be a struggle for dog food. I guess I just don't prioritize my life the same way as other people.
I don't know what type of dog you have, but I'm going to (IMO) give you a high estimate, and if $50 a month is going to make it a tight budget for you, you SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY need to take some sort of financial planning class. IMMEDIATELY.
Seriously, if you don't have 50 dollars to spare then you will have issues supporting a child. Something will always cost more than you planned when you have a child.
If you really feel that buying dog food will be a struggle, I really have to question how you can be financially ready for a baby..
Thank you! I was thinking this exact thing while reading this thread.
I am otherwise at a loss for words on this topic...
The point was that after all of baby's expenses yes, it will be a struggle for dog food. I guess I just don't prioritize my life the same way as other people.
If paying expenses for a child will put you in a position where paying probably $30-$50 a month will make things tight for you, then you really need to take a long, hard look at your finances. Stretching yourself that thin is a recipe for disaster.
If you really feel that buying dog food will be a struggle, I really have to question how you can be financially ready for a baby..
Thank you! I was thinking this exact thing while reading this thread.
I am otherwise at a loss for words on this topic...
The point was that after all of baby's expenses yes, it will be a struggle for dog food. I guess I just don't prioritize my life the same way as other people.
I don't know what type of dog you have, but I'm going to (IMO) give you a high estimate, and if $50 a month is going to make it a tight budget for you, you SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY need to take some sort of financial planning class. IMMEDIATELY.
Wow way to judge someone without knowing them. Ever think that not everyone is in the same spot financially as you are? $50 is a lot to me. Right now we do okay, AFTER baby is here as I stated before, $50 a month will absolutely make a dent in our budget. Thanks I don't need your financial planning advice.
That's not judgement, that's sound financial advice. Obviously not everyone is in the same financial position, but if you're willing to stretch your budget that tight just to have a child, to me that's irresponsible. There's a reason my kids will be over 5 years apart..we're just now in a position where we can cover expenses for 2 kids and not completely max out our budget.
People think having HG is a cool thing since the Princess had it. Its seriously pure hell.
I had HG with my first pregnancy almost six years ago. PURE HELL!!! I was severely dehydrated and was stuck over 11 times at a few hospital visits (tiny veins, and dehydration= pin cushion). They finally gave me an i.v. through my neck. This happened close to three times. I hated every minute of it!! My whole pregnancy was scary, and miserable! I was so relieved when my second pregnancy was no where near as bad.
DBG wife, Pre-Med student, and Scentsy Certified Consultant
@flutterbuggie I think the arguments been made on both sides. Baby is coming, dog is here. Could you have made better choices, yes I'm sure you could have. And you seem Aware of this. I would only suggest, as I'm Not fully aware of your financial situations, to cut back now on what you can. Put any extra money you can in a separate acct, $5.00 $3.00 whatever. Buy diapers/wipes now. Be aware of your spending habits, look for sales, cut coupons. It all helps in the end. I think at the very least stating the fact you're not sure how to handle this, and not being defensive shows that you are trying to decide all options does show you are thinking things through now- even if it might be a little late.
My DH is causing my hormones to rage today. He thinks that just because we are moving and going to be making a little more money that he can use it to go in with his brothers to buy a boat. A boat that we will not get to use very often because of our jobs and geez we have kiddo #2 on the way (#3 for him, he has a 9 yo with his ex) and rent is more expensive where we are moving. I guess I'm just frustrated bc he gets mad that we never have money to have fun but the fun he wants to have costs a few thousand dollars. Vent over
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If you really feel that buying dog food will be a struggle, I really have to question how you can be financially ready for a baby..
Thank you! I was thinking this exact thing while reading this thread.
I am otherwise at a loss for words on this topic...
The point was that after all of baby's expenses yes, it will be a struggle for dog food. I guess I just don't prioritize my life the same way as other people.
Once baby arrives that will absolutely be my priority. However, I consider my dogs like children and cannot fathom giving them away. I'm sorry that you find yourself in such a tough financial position and I suggest you take PPs advice and seek financial counseling. It was one of the greatest things DH and I ever did for our relationship.
@flutterbuggie I am not going to share my opinion or judge on this, I just wanted to throw out a few suggestions from my own experience with a pet and finances.
DH and I bought a house a little over a year ago, and we took a hard look at the money we were spending on our two cats. One cat has digestive problems and was on medicine and expensive high end food. I did some research and found a food that cost $.60 less per can with similar ingredients. It doesn't sound like much but for 30 cans a month we save $18 (not counting the money we saved on lower priced kibble). I keep and eye out for coupons for the food too. I also talked to the doctor about her medicine and we were able to change brands to save some money there.
Another money save I have looked into for once the baby is here is the Amazon subscribe and save service. You can get 15% off if you sign up for 5 different types of items. Between diapers, wipes, and pet food, I am already up to 3 for our needs and things like laundry detergent or cat litter would round out my five.
Just a few idea to maybe help relieve some of the stress budgeting for a baby can bring. I wish you the best of luck and I hope it works out that you can have your baby and keep you dog.
~~Signature~~
Me: 36, DH: 38, Together since: 2006, Married: 9/2011 **TW Living Child**
You or your SO could also get a part time job (10 hours a week even) that could pay for your dog.
First of all, this is just ridiculous, sorry but it is. A second job to pay for a dog!?!? "Sorry honey, I won't be home for dinner, I am working my shift at the Chick fil'a tonight so we can pay for dog food" hahah
(I chose Chick fil'a because it;s what I had for lunch, and damn it if those employees aren't' the nicest happiest people in the world, seriously, even better than Trader Joe's, and they are also obscenely happy!)
I'm going to go on record here, since no one else is speaking up... for my FFC
Do I think there are a lot of people that get animals without thought and then dump them when they realize they take work, usually on a shelter and the dog is worse off for it? Why yes, yes I do think those idiots exist.
Do I also think that sometimes it's necessary to be realistic about your life and say well things aren't great and something has to give, so I might need to rehome my dog? Yes, I also think that is possible.
And if the OP was flying off the handle about her smelly sack of shit dog that she can't wait to get rid of, then I might think she was one of the former types. But I use my critical thinking and logic abilities to see that maybe they are just someone that can't properly care for the dog and do whatever they can to find a good home for it.
I actually adopted exactly this kind of dog, and he is happy and healthy and lovin' life. I can tell you his story in another message if you want to know!
See, that's why I'm talking about! What PPs said is HG. Random person who puked a ton for a week and lost 5lbs- that sucks, but unless you weighed 100lbs to start I don't think that's HG. I'm no doctor, but that's not what I'd call it. I'm so sorry PPs for your HG experiences! Hopefully this time will be better
This statement is going to cause a lot of controversy. But I love how everyone is getting all over flutter buggy for considering giving away her puppy to a loving home but I'm sure alot of you are pro choice.
It's ok to terminate a pregnancy if it's going to inconvience your life but if you find a dog a new home you're the scum of the earth. Give me a break and get off your high horses.
This statement is going to cause a lot of controversy.
But I love how everyone is getting all over flutter buggy for considering giving away her puppy to a loving home but I'm sure alot of you are pro choice.
It's ok to terminate a pregnancy if it's going to inconvience your life but if you find a dog a new home you're the scum of the earth.
Give me a break and get off your high horses.
This doesn't make any sense at all. With your logic in comparing the two, it's like having a baby for 3 years and then giving it to another home. How is that even close to a pro-choice argument?
I waited for it to warm up this afternoon before going out to scoop the sidewalk. (It snowed 5" last night.) Well, the little bit of a warm up that we get did the scooping for me.
I don't know if it was genius or laziness?
I kind of love that you call shoveling "scooping". It's making me swoon over you.
My FFFC is pretty lame. Our top boy name will give him the initials GAG and I find it hilarious since if this baby is a boy, he's making me do just that!
This statement is going to cause a lot of controversy. But I love how everyone is getting all over flutter buggy for considering giving away her puppy to a loving home but I'm sure alot of you are pro choice.
It's ok to terminate a pregnancy if it's going to inconvience your life but if you find a dog a new home you're the scum of the earth. Give me a break and get off your high horses.
This doesn't make any sense at all. With your logic in comparing the two, it's like having a baby for 3 years and then giving it to another home. How is that even close to a pro-choice argument?
Life begins at conception. I bet it wouldn't make a difference if she had the dog a week or 3 years in your mind anyway.
Dogs are pack animals, they are able to adapt to new packs. If this weren't true we wouldn't rip them away from their mom, brothers, and sisters at 8 weeks of age.
This statement is going to cause a lot of controversy. But I love how everyone is getting all over flutter buggy for considering giving away her puppy to a loving home but I'm sure alot of you are pro choice.
It's ok to terminate a pregnancy if it's going to inconvience your life but if you find a dog a new home you're the scum of the earth. Give me a break and get off your high horses.
Wait, what?! Give me a break.
For the record -- I'm very much pro-choice. It's not my choice what YOU do with YOUR body, nor do I expect YOU to make any choices about MY body. I also don't have to deal with anything regarding YOUR decision about YOUR body, so who am I to tell you what to do?
I'm not judging for needing to rehome your pet, I'm saying that to bring a child into such a horrible financial situation is irresponsible. Because it is. That's not judgement, it's fact. Not to say OP can't make it work (been there & done it) but I suggested that OP take a hard look at her financial situation, because I can assure you if $50 is going to break your bank, you're in for a very long, tough journey ahead.
I don't have dogs but I had a cat for 7 years. She was literally my baby before my ds. She had always been a very nervous anxious cat but after he was born she got very bad. She was miserable. Staying on top of the cabinets in the kitchen, pooping and peeling up there. She became a very very weird cat. It broke my heart I took her to appt after appt and spent lots to fix it but it wAsnt working unless I medicated her to the point she was a zombie. My sister took her because she is single with no animals. I pay for all her food and bills weekly I did not want to pawn her off. I just wanted her happy. She is now a very very happy cat being alone with my sister. Sooo all that to say you never know what can happen after babies come. It broke my heart and still does to not have her with me.
This statement is going to cause a lot of controversy. But I love how everyone is getting all over flutter buggy for considering giving away her puppy to a loving home but I'm sure alot of you are pro choice.
It's ok to terminate a pregnancy if it's going to inconvience your life but if you find a dog a new home you're the scum of the earth. Give me a break and get off your high horses.
Wait, what?! Give me a break.
For the record -- I'm very much pro-choice. It's not my choice what YOU do with YOUR body, nor do I expect YOU to make any choices about MY body. I also don't have to deal with anything regarding YOUR decision about YOUR body, so who am I to tell you what to do?
I'm not judging for needing to rehome your pet, I'm saying that to bring a child into such a horrible financial situation is irresponsible. Because it is. That's not judgement, it's fact. Not to say OP can't make it work (been there & done it) but I suggested that OP take a hard look at her financial situation, because I can assure you if $50 is going to break your bank, you're in for a very long, tough journey ahead.
So it would be better for her to keep her dog and give away her baby?
If it's not ok for people to tell you what to do with your body then why should you have any say over what she does with HER life.
Because you are concerned for the life of the dog.
Same goes for your baby. Your baby had every right to life. Your baby is not your body. The baby has his/her own body.
This statement is going to cause a lot of controversy.
But I love how everyone is getting all over flutter buggy for considering giving away her puppy to a loving home but I'm sure alot of you are pro choice.
It's ok to terminate a pregnancy if it's going to inconvience your life but if you find a dog a new home you're the scum of the earth.
Give me a break and get off your high horses.
This doesn't make any sense at all. With your logic in comparing the two, it's like having a baby for 3 years and then giving it to another home. How is that even close to a pro-choice argument?
Life begins at conception. I bet it wouldn't make a difference if she had the dog a week or 3 years in your mind anyway.
Dogs are pack animals, they are able to adapt to new packs. If this weren't true we wouldn't rip them away from their mom, brothers, and sisters at 8 weeks of age.
I'm all for debate, but I still don't this comparison applies. I'm not arguing your definition of when life begins, which I think many people WOULD debate. I just think you're trying to draw similarities from two very different situations.
And yes, it would make a difference to me if she'd had the dog for a week vs. 3 years. After 3 years the dog knows its home, which is more than just the place where it lives, but the people, too.
Puppies and babies are incredibly adaptable. It's a survival instinct. Adult dogs don't always have that after they've settled in to a routine or home.
My FFFC is pretty lame. Our top boy name will give him the initials GAG and I find it hilarious since if this baby is a boy, he's making me do just that!
Just make sure you order his school backpack with a Monogram instead of initials! :P
~~Signature~~
Me: 36, DH: 38, Together since: 2006, Married: 9/2011 **TW Living Child**
Re: FFFC
Dude that's tough. You are a better person than me. I will never live with or care for any of my relatives. It's just beyond my capacity. Maybe that's my FFFC. I will help my mom when I can and make sure she's getting good care, but I will never ever let her live with me.
I have one more- when DH is away for work and my oldest is at his dads I let DS sleep with me and I don't see this changing anytime soon. He's 4.
N14 November Siggy Challenge - Celebration
Ha. I actually did see it on the boards once.
MMC April 2014 at 6w2d, D&C at 9 weeks
MMC August 2014 at 9w1d, D&C at 12 weeks
CP October 2014
My Ovulation Chart
MMC April 2014 at 6w2d, D&C at 9 weeks
MMC August 2014 at 9w1d, D&C at 12 weeks
CP October 2014
My Ovulation Chart
Formerly Aaren91011
Formerly Aaren91011
This. This is exactly what I was thinking and was surprised nobody mentioned anything about this sooner.
BFP#4 3/17/14 - rainbow Baby BOY arrived 11/10/14 !!
DX: Uterine Septum - Resection 9/5/13 || MTHFR Hetero A1298C || My Chart
I am otherwise at a loss for words on this topic...
I think it's awesome that others and myself included, have tried to initiate threads that are not baby related. This helps break the monotony.
What does drive me crazy is the repeated same answers. In the same thread.
Example: will I have to pee at Drs appt?
Answers, all 36896 of them. Yes, I did. You will.
Now that is redundant.
BFP#4 3/17/14 - rainbow Baby BOY arrived 11/10/14 !!
DX: Uterine Septum - Resection 9/5/13 || MTHFR Hetero A1298C || My Chart
I don't know if it was genius or laziness?
Seriously, if you don't have 50 dollars to spare then you will have issues supporting a child. Something will always cost more than you planned when you have a child.
If paying expenses for a child will put you in a position where paying probably $30-$50 a month will make things tight for you, then you really need to take a long, hard look at your finances. Stretching yourself that thin is a recipe for disaster.
That's not judgement, that's sound financial advice. Obviously not everyone is in the same financial position, but if you're willing to stretch your budget that tight just to have a child, to me that's irresponsible. There's a reason my kids will be over 5 years apart..we're just now in a position where we can cover expenses for 2 kids and not completely max out our budget.
I would only suggest, as I'm
Not fully aware of your financial situations, to cut back now on what you can. Put any extra money you can in a separate acct, $5.00 $3.00 whatever. Buy diapers/wipes now.
Be aware of your spending habits, look for sales, cut coupons. It all helps in the end.
I think at the very least stating the fact you're not sure how to handle this, and not being defensive shows that you are trying to decide all options does show you are thinking things through now- even if it might be a little late.
Good luck.
Vent over
DH and I bought a house a little over a year ago, and we took a hard look at the money we were spending on our two cats. One cat has digestive problems and was on medicine and expensive high end food. I did some research and found a food that cost $.60 less per can with similar ingredients. It doesn't sound like much but for 30 cans a month we save $18 (not counting the money we saved on lower priced kibble). I keep and eye out for coupons for the food too. I also talked to the doctor about her medicine and we were able to change brands to save some money there.
Another money save I have looked into for once the baby is here is the Amazon subscribe and save service. You can get 15% off if you sign up for 5 different types of items. Between diapers, wipes, and pet food, I am already up to 3 for our needs and things like laundry detergent or cat litter would round out my five.
Just a few idea to maybe help relieve some of the stress budgeting for a baby can bring. I wish you the best of luck and I hope it works out that you can have your baby and keep you dog.
**TW Living Child**
BFP 2/2014 - DS - 10/2014
Me: 34; DH: 38; SD: 9
TTC #1 since November 2013
BFP #1: 2/4/14--EDD 10/14/14--CP 2/8/14
BFP #2: 3/1/14--EDD 11/15/14--MMC at 12w6d (baby stopped developing at 11w4d)
D&C 5/13/14; Retained Tissue Found: Cytotec 5/30/14; 2nd D&C 6/20/14
BFP #3: 12/13/14--EDD 8/27/15--MMC at 7 weeks (no fetal pole and measuring 1 1/2 weeks behind)--Cytotec 1/9/15
January 2015: Off to RE for RPL testing
I'm so sorry PPs for your HG experiences! Hopefully this time will be better
But I love how everyone is getting all over flutter buggy for considering giving away her puppy to a loving home but I'm sure alot of you are pro choice.
It's ok to terminate a pregnancy if it's going to inconvience your life but if you find a dog a new home you're the scum of the earth.
Give me a break and get off your high horses.
I kind of love that you call shoveling "scooping". It's making me swoon over you.
My FFFC is pretty lame. Our top boy name will give him the initials GAG and I find it hilarious since if this baby is a boy, he's making me do just that!
Life begins at conception. I bet it wouldn't make a difference if she had the dog a week or 3 years in your mind anyway.
Dogs are pack animals, they are able to adapt to new packs. If this weren't true we wouldn't rip them away from their mom, brothers, and sisters at 8 weeks of age.
For the record -- I'm very much pro-choice. It's not my choice what YOU do with YOUR body, nor do I expect YOU to make any choices about MY body. I also don't have to deal with anything regarding YOUR decision about YOUR body, so who am I to tell you what to do?
I'm not judging for needing to rehome your pet, I'm saying that to bring a child into such a horrible financial situation is irresponsible. Because it is. That's not judgement, it's fact. Not to say OP can't make it work (been there & done it) but I suggested that OP take a hard look at her financial situation, because I can assure you if $50 is going to break your bank, you're in for a very long, tough journey ahead.
If it's not ok for people to tell you what to do with your body then why should you have any say over what she does with HER life.
Because you are concerned for the life of the dog.
Same goes for your baby. Your baby had every right to life. Your baby is not your body. The baby has his/her own body.
:P
**TW Living Child**
BFP 2/2014 - DS - 10/2014
This. This is exactly what I was thinking and was surprised nobody mentioned anything about this sooner.
This 100%. I was surprised it want mentioned earlier as well. A kid is WAY more expensive than a dog.