I need you guys... (NBR) updated

lihau88 · April 2014

So sorry you are dealing with this. I agree about seeing a lawyer asap!! Sending you hugs!!

ShePersisted · April 2014

Sorry I don't know the details posted earlier but I hope you have family or friends around you can go be with if need be? It may seem hard to share with them what you are going through but you need to be around people who care at the moment. Please don't hesitate to solicit emotional support in person just like you are doing here.

Hang in there!

CarynJeanG · April 2014

Huge hugs sent your way. I hope you have a support system through family or friends you can lean on if need be.

ehighlan · April 2014

T&P and many hugs to you. Keep your head up!!

kathegreat · April 2014

First of all (((Hugs))) I am so very sorry you have to go through this. Just remember that you are a resilient woman and wonderful mama and you can get through this too. It's hard and awful but you can heal from this and be happy again and thrive. We are here for you!

Firefly9 · April 2014

I am so sorry. Don't let him take advantage of you, stand your ground, and fight for what you deserve.

Mazingmommyof6 · April 2014

I'm so very sorry your going through this. Sending you hugs

BearyBear210 · April 2014

I'm so sorry things are so difficult. I feel confident saying that you have nothing but love and support on here. Stay strong

becausemom · April 2014

I'm so sorry love.

t&ps

sprashley · April 2014

So sorry to hear of this and the heartless way he's approached it I do hope you are able to find good legal counsel. Do you have any friends/family there to support you and LO? thinking of you!!!

BB0214 · April 2014

I am so sorry this is happening to you. But if he's going to ask for a divorce, then fight like hell to make sure he still is taking care of his responsibilities as a parent. He can't just tell you to leave like that.
Hugs to you! I hope it all works out!

Codypup · April 2014

How are you holding up today, mama?

sprashley · April 2014

If I recall correctly, are you still at your FIL's house? Where you live, are there any safehouses/halfway houses for you to look into/go? In the long run, it might be best to get out of that toxic environment if you can! Just really thinking of you today and hoping you're able to get something figured out.

breadpudding · April 2014

Codypup said:
How are you holding up today, mama?

Eh... So-so. Thank you for thinking of me. We had an awful night last night. DH and I sat in our room and had a very long, overdue, serious conversation after DS1 went to bed and LO was napping. We talked, cried and talked some more. For 2 hours. During which time, my FIL was in the living room drinking beer. At one point DH had to go use the restroom and my FIL asked why we were "locked up in the room with the kids and wouldn't come out to converse with him." DH explained that we were having a serious conversation and the kids were asleep because, well... Geee... That's what kids do at 9:30pm. Weird. FIL then demanded that DH tell him what we were talking about (clearly way too drunk at this point) and when DH respectfully and simply replied, "Dad, that's between me and my wife." My FIL jumped up and punched DH in his face. Out of no where. It busted his lip making it bleed everywhere, made his nose bleed, it was awful. I was still in the room sitting on our bed when I heard DH say, "Are you kidding me?!" And I ran out to see FIL in DH's face. And DH didn't even try to hit him back or anything. just stood there. So I took DH's hand and calmly made him follow me so he could wash his mouth out. After that my FIL was still attempting to cause problems so we got DS1 up out of bed and got LO and took DS1 to get some ice cream as soon as FIL went in his room and we could leave without seeing him again. We were removing DS1 and LO from the unsafe environment but didn't want DS1 to know anything was wrong so we made it seem like a surprise trip out. FWIW he loved the late night ice cream trip and I earned bonus Mommy points.

While we were out I contacted my mother to ask if we could go to her house for the night and explained what happened and my own mother actually told me no. That's another story in itself. So we got done with ice cream and as we drove home DS1 fell asleep in the car. We then waited in our parking spot for 10 minutes until we knew for sure FIL was asleep and we took DS1 and LO back into our room. DH and I still are having problems but we have pushed it aside for the moment so we can focus on our children's safety. We are planning to go to DH's grandma's but she lives in the desert and to get there we have to go through the mountains... Which are supposed to get snow today. So we can't go until tomorrow. This is insane stuff.

When it rains, it pours. My main focus is just to keep my kids safe and happy and unaware of the drama. FIL is at work and doesn't get home until 3pm. So we are good until then. At that point, we will probably just take them to the park for a while and then eat dinner out somewhere and some dessert, then by that time hopefully it will be time to go home and go to bed so we can wake up and leave tomorrow morning. This doesn't even feel real. None of it.

This has been the craziest 24 hours.

breadpudding · April 2014

Also, I'd like to add that I have read each and every comment you all have left for me and it helps more than you know to have support. I'd love to be able to reply to each and every one. Just know that every single comment has made this whole thing a little bit easier for me. ((((Hugs)))) to all of you.

breadpudding · April 2014

sprashley said:
If I recall correctly, are you still at your FIL's house? Where you live, are there any safehouses/halfway houses for you to look into/go? In the long run, it might be best to get out of that toxic environment if you can! Just really thinking of you today and hoping you're able to get something figured out.

Thank you for thinking of me. I always am shocked when you guys remember details about me (like living with FIL) and it really makes me feel good.

breadpudding · April 2014

UPDATE- Just called DH's grandma and we are going to go to her house today. She told us a better way to take instead of going through the heart of the mountains and possibly hitting snow and we are going to get ready and go. Thank goodness.

ShePersisted · April 2014

OMG lady! So sorry things are hard but I'm also glad that your H has the decency and sense to think about his kids. You are doing the right thing with one step at a time- get the kids safe and settled and then think about other things. Sending thoughts and prayers your way.

coffeyandyogapants · April 2014

I am so so deeply sorry for what you are going through. I wish that there was a way we coukd ease your pain for you. Please feel free to come in and get as much support as you need, and know that you are not alone. We are all here to listen.

mamacrunch · April 2014

Big hugs mama! Hopefully a new environment for all of you will make a world of difference.
GL you are so strong. Is there any emergency housing in your area for families? In the county we lived in before they had assistance for families, but the county I live in now does not. So it might be worth the research. I found out through the local housing authority.

sprashley · April 2014

Glad to hear he is thinking of the kids and you have a temp solution! Hopefully you two can work something out that is reasonable for the rest of it.

breadpudding · April 2014

mamacrunch said:
Big hugs mama! Hopefully a new environment for all of you will make a world of difference.
GL you are so strong. Is there any emergency housing in your area for families? In the county we lived in before they had assistance for families, but the county I live in now does not. So it might be worth the research. I found out through the local housing authority.

From what I understand there isn't any funding for new emergency housing. They are only keeping people that are already housed. I could be wrong, but that's what I was told when DH first "lost" his job and we applied for housing. (He's in the carpenters union so there just isn't a job site for him to go to right now.)

Flyingtoast · April 2014

Late to the party. As PP have said, I'm sorry you are going through all this. I am glad you had a chance to sit down had talk some things through, and hope you two can continue the conversation tonight at his grandma's. I'm glad even after stating his intentions, his care for his children and what they see/ witness over came everything else.

Please try to get some support from others (obviously your mom is out from what I understand). Having someone to talk to can greatly help sort through things, but also just get it off your chest. Friends, family, or professional, it doesn't matter. Everyone here will be here for you too!

I will keep you and your kids in my thoughts.

spicysurro · April 2014

Im so sorry you are having to deal with your FIL ontop of everything else. Im glad you are getting out of there and working towards getting things straightened out. We are here for you always!

gingerm84 · April 2014

I am so sorry. Sending positive vibes your way.

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