Any other first time SAHM or experienced SAHM out there?

MrsRahl · April 2014

Well, this is our first baby. I was a teacher and kept getting laid off due to being the low man on the totem pole through seniority. I've pretty much been a homemaker for months in between my employment and for about 5 months now since my last layoff, and I'm going to be a SAHM with my little ones as long as possible. DH had a SAHM and we both felt it was best for our family. To me, this is a dream come true! But I know financially things are strapped and I have been having hard time communicating to friends how our budget doesn't allow for some of the things we were able to do before. Are there any other first time SAHM out there and experienced SAHM that are interested in sharing/answering questions and concerns or just life on a thread like this? I for one am super excited for baby to get here but now it's settling in a little fear of being a sole caretaker alone during the day and just how life will be after baby is here (financially, emotionally, getting out of the house, keeping my identity as a SAHM, etc.) Anyone want to share their experience?

Kinipela7 · April 2014

I will be watching this thread! I will be a first time SAHM and I'm really happy about it, but I'm also scared to death! I have NO idea what to expect!

This thread comes at the perfect time. I sent in my letter of resignation today so my countdown is ON! May 9th cannot come soon enough!

lizok22 · April 2014

same here, will be leaving my job to stay home with my 2-1/2 year old and newborn. Been working for the past 15 years so its a major change for me but i cannot afford 2 in daycare.

PinkKEL9 · April 2014

I was a preschool teacher and looking forward to being a stay at home mom. I've always wanted to do this. Even when I was little I knew thats what I wanted to do. I've always loved kids. I got a college degree in early childhood education.

My mom was a stay at home mom and also home schooled my brothers and I. I haven't decided how I feel about homeschooling my own kids though. Some days I think yes, others I think no. Has anyone else considered it?

jaybee11 · April 2014

I'm definitely interested in hearing what other SAHM have to say. I know that with two little ones I'll be plenty busy, but I'm a little anxious about the lack of adult interaction and possibly feeling like I'm never able to leave the house. DH is amazing about making time for me to do my own thing even now, so I'm sure he'll help encourage me to get out, but I can see myself becoming a hermit...

lizok22 · April 2014

no homeschooling here. i pay a ton of money in school taxes and i live in NY where the schools are top notch. No judgement but just curious, as i don't know anyone who has been home-schooled and don't know much about it. Why did your mom choose to home-school your family?

PinkKEL9 · April 2014

lizok22 said:

no homeschooling here. i pay a ton of money in school taxes and i live in NY where the schools are top notch. No judgement but just curious, as i don't know anyone who has been home-schooled and don't know much about it. Why did your mom choose to home-school your family?

The area we lived in didn't have great public schools. We went to a private school but they kept raising tuition and with 3 kids it got to be too expensive. So they decided to homeschool us when I was in 4th grade.

I had a really positive homeschooling experience. My parents worked hard to make sure we had lots of social interaction with other kids. We all played on public school sports teams, had co-op groups, went to church youth groups, etc.

flerlgirl · April 2014

I mean, this is a very broad question. I am a SAHM. We had the opposite problem; I wanted to work originally but circumstances dictated that someone stay home with DS. I like it. My biggest complaint is cabin fever/lack of adult interaction. But it's kind of hard to compare experiences because everyone's situation is different. My kid is an awesome sleeper. But for the first few months of his life, he would randomly stop breathing. So I have both an extremely easy and difficult child and I think everyone's experience will vastly differ.

rainbowdashh · April 2014

I've been a SAHM for the last 19 months and I've really been struggling. I find it hard to balance being a mom and taking care of the house and being a wife and being myself. I'm sure I would find it hard to balance those things even if I were working, but something about being home all day just makes it really hard for me.

I would tell anyone I know who's going to start staying at home to make time for yourself at least once a week! Get out of the house. I find it easier to balance everything if I've had me time. It's so easy to get swept up in all your new roles and lose yourself as a person. I've struggled with bouts of depression, but I'm always happiest if I can get time away to just read and be alone (what I enjoyed doing most pre-baby). Don't get me wrong, I love being at home with my daughter, but it's been a lot harder on me than I ever thought it would be.

MrsRahl · April 2014

PinkKEL9 said:

I was a preschool teacher and looking forward to being a stay at home mom. I've always wanted to do this. Even when I was little I knew thats what I wanted to do. I've always loved kids. I got a college degree in early childhood education.

My mom was a stay at home mom and also home schooled my brothers and I. I haven't decided how I feel about homeschooling my own kids though. Some days I think yes, others I think no. Has anyone else considered it?

I taught secondary ed drama and communications. I still teach youth group at my church, and love it, but it does have stresses. I have strongly considered homeschooling, but I don't know if I have the discipline in me to do it, especially with multiple children. I just pray every day I can afford a cheaper private Christian school in my area (about $4,500 a yr) but like you, I always wanted to be a SAHM. Although now, I'm wondering do I even know what that really means! I remember writing a paper in HS about where I would be in 10 years, and it said being a SAHM. My English teacher gave me a hard time. In college, my drama professors have me a HELL of a time, and said I was only there for a M.R.S. degree (ha. ha. not.) But I did meet my DH in marching band in college, and really through the layoffs, it seems it all turned out that way. Sometimes I feel guilty not working, especially these past few months when I could have, but DH encouraged me to take the time for myself before baby gets here.My DH seriously couldn't be more supportive. But I do stress about the money and saying no to people more than anything. Even more than stressing about baby!

Mztwilson · April 2014

I am currently a SAHM not by choice. With work not accommodating my restrictions I've been forced to go on short term disability. However what I've learned so far is you live to your means. It's hard to imagine now that your income is going to drop dramatically. But we just learn to budget differently. And this has been the case with most people I've talked to about this. You spend less time going out to eat and more time eating at home. Those leftovers you stick in the fridge?! Yea you actually start eating those. Some of the luxury things you buy now won't seem so important later. Atleast that's been my take on the financial part.

Being the sole caretaker sucks some days but it doesn't take long to adjust to it. It pretty much comes naturally. Before you know it your planning play dates and things to do the next day. Getting out if the house with a LO seems like a big chore now but it's not that bad especially in the summer.

Some days I hate being home simply because I miss adult interaction. To avoid feeling to bad for myself I've started planning a night out once a week with my BFF. And it's helped a lot. I often invite her and her child over for supper so I don't feel like I've been forgotten. All on all I am enjoying staying at home and raising my family. I like the feeling of making a really good healthy meal because I have the time for it. I never feel all that rushed anymore which it's nice to slow down and just enjoy life. Hope this kind of helps.

MrsRahl · April 2014

flerlgirl said:

I mean, this is a very broad question. I am a SAHM. We had the opposite problem; I wanted to work originally but circumstances dictated that someone stay home with DS. I like it. My biggest complaint is cabin fever/lack of adult interaction. But it's kind of hard to compare experiences because everyone's situation is different. My kid is an awesome sleeper. But for the first few months of his life, he would randomly stop breathing. So I have both an extremely easy and difficult child and I think everyone's experience will vastly differ.

I don't mean this thread to be just one sole question, but almost like the newbie thread, geared more toward SAHM where we can ask questions to other SAHM or just vent our concerns

flerlgirl · April 2014

MrsRahl said:

flerlgirl said:

I mean, this is a very broad question. I am a SAHM. We had the opposite problem; I wanted to work originally but circumstances dictated that someone stay home with DS. I like it. My biggest complaint is cabin fever/lack of adult interaction. But it's kind of hard to compare experiences because everyone's situation is different. My kid is an awesome sleeper. But for the first few months of his life, he would randomly stop breathing. So I have both an extremely easy and difficult child and I think everyone's experience will vastly differ.

I don't mean this thread to be just one sole question, but almost like the newbie thread, geared more toward SAHM where we can ask questions to other SAHM or just vent our concerns

I gotcha. I'm happy to answer any specifics that I can! And I am always up for a rant.

luvin20bball · April 2014

I'm a SAHM. I love it but some days are hard! I try & get out of the house a few times a week for my sanity & also DS gets crappy if we still home all week. We did have to cut back on certain things but it wasn't a big deal! I know when DD gets here things will be harder but I think I'm ready!!

Valie18 · April 2014

Not in your boat, but I've explored the boards a bit. Hopefully if there is a question June 2014 can't answer, these ladies can help:

https://forums.thebump.com/categories/stay-at-home-moms

MrsRahl · April 2014

As far as finances go for us, we have been living on 1 income for a while now, I just stress more about when baby comes, the bills going up for insurance dramatically, the hospital deductible bills we will have to pay, etc. so that's where my concerns begin. We already eat in exclusively except maybe once a month, shop at aldis, shop thrift, etc. so I sometimes worry how will we cut out even more, but I guess that is just what is going to have to happen. Like I said before, it's the explaining to friends that we can't go out anymore has been the toughest part for me. Feels like everyone things we are being overly dramatic or lying or something. Hard to make them understand...

Cherylwang · April 2014

I am a SAHM and I have been for 8 years. Yikes! My oldest is 8 and I have a 3 year old. I agree that it is easy to get cabin fever. Especially with bad winters. You have to make time for adult interactions. I think it's also hard being on a budget. Especially since you have more time to shop. Ha! I also have a hard time with getting stuck in a unmotivated rut. Where its easy for me to put things off because there is always later and tomorrow. I have to make myself to-do lists so I stay on top of that. It is a adjustment for sure but I think it's totally worth it.

MrsRahl · April 2014

Cherylwang said:

I am a SAHM and I have been for 8 years. Yikes! My oldest is 8 and I have a 3 year old. I agree that it is easy to get cabin fever. Especially with bad winters. You have to make time for adult interactions. I think it's also hard being on a budget. Especially since you have more time to shop. Ha! I also have a hard time with getting stuck in a unmotivated rut. Where its easy for me to put things off because there is always later and tomorrow. I have to make myself to-do lists so I stay on top of that. It is a adjustment for sure but I think it's totally worth it.

I can totally relate to the "oh, I can just do it tomorrow" mentality!

jaybee11 · April 2014

Any SAHM have a history of depression? I've struggled with it, particularly situationally, and am concerned that the combination of feeling stuck at home as well as general PP hormonal changes might set me up for a hard time. Just curious whether anyone else has felt the lifestyle change was a particular trigger for them and/or how they dealt.

temursgirl · April 2014

I have been a SAHW for a couple of years now. Financially, the adjustment isn't as bad as you might expect because you also save money when you have more time. I previously worked at a very demanding job. Now I have time to cook, look for sales, do our laundry, etc. The most key thing is structure. You have to create structure so you get things done and also get to do stuff for yourself. I have a weekly schedule and I make sure I get out of the house every day. I think that will really help once LO is here.

nunzchucks · April 2014

I love being a SAHM. Here are my thoughts:

Budgeting - Staying home automatically cut some bills for us. I no longer had to have nice clothes to wear to work. I no longer had to go out to lunch. Since I'm home, I can make dinner and we rarely eat out. I EBF'd for a year so we didn't have to spend money on formula. Since DD, our lives became less focused on going out on weekends. As it turns out, infants don't care if you're hungover so we weren't interested in spending money on a babysitter to go out late and have to wake up super early in the morning.

Interaction - You have to put yourself out there. Go to library story time. Chat up the other moms and invite them to meet somewhere for a play date. Join a moms group and volunteer to host activities. Get involved in church groups. I could very well spend all my time at home with DD and see no other adults. It's scary, but you have to make the first move.

Time for me - I joined a book club so that I'll have at least one night out every so often to meet friends. Spread out household chores so you get at least 30 min to yourself during nap to do what you want (read, nap, watch TV)

HTH!

stephpaez · April 2014

I am a SAHM since late January. I worked for many years in the medical field prior to that, so it was definitely an adjustment. Our older son is already 9 and I feel like now I have more time to give to him and all the household chores without stressing.
Financially was a small adjustment since we cut back on a lot of expenses since I no longer work. I cook every meal so we don't need to pick up dinner on the way home from a long day. We pay less for gas now since there is only one of us commuting. My husband no longer takes his clothes to the cleaners since I have the time and energy to wash an press them. I am really enjoying being a SAHM and so has my family

k2k2tog · April 2014

I won't be a SAHM in the traditional sense... like joules, I'll be a full-time student come September, so I'll be in classes 2-3 days a week; I'll be home with the LO any time outside that. But, I won't be working anymore for 2 years or so after I go on mat leave, and I'll definitely admit to being a little nervous about the change in our financial situation. For the first year, I'll still have approximately half my income coming in through EI/maternity leave, and after that it'll be all DH's income paying for our living expenses and my tuition. We've always lived within our means, but lately, with the renovations we've been doing, we haven't been able to save much extra money, and I've turned into a bit of a worrier.

lizok22 · April 2014

ohyealovely said:

I've been a SAHM for the last 19 months and I've really been struggling. I find it hard to balance being a mom and taking care of the house and being a wife and being myself. I'm sure I would find it hard to balance those things even if I were working, but something about being home all day just makes it really hard for me. I would tell anyone I know who's going to start staying at home to make time for yourself at least once a week! Get out of the house. I find it easier to balance everything if I've had me time. It's so easy to get swept up in all your new roles and lose yourself as a person. I've struggled with bouts of depression, but I'm always happiest if I can get time away to just read and be alone (what I enjoyed doing most pre-baby). Don't get me wrong, I love being at home with my daughter, but it's been a lot harder on me than I ever thought it would be.

Thank you so much for your honesty. I kind of anticipate this may happen to me so I am trying to get involvd in many outside activities-moms groups, school, etc. I need to be constantly busy or I start to get in my head too much. And @jaybee11 I have definetly struggled with depression when i was younger but i am much better now. it helps me to stay busy and always have a planner full of ideas.

emandjp · April 2014

I've been a SAHM since DD1 was born. Initially we didn't think it was possible but it worked out financially and I feel very blessed to stay home with my babies like my mom did. That being said, it's a very tough "job". It is difficult to find a routine of housework, being a mom and being me. I've had a few breakdowns when the dishwasher needs to be emptied and the laundry needs to get folded and I feel like a failure! It's important to have a partner that is understanding of how much work goes into staying at home. My husband is really great about helping out when he gets home from work, or sending me off to do things alone. Like some PP said, it's really great to get out and DO things with your babies. We go to Kindermusik and gymnastics, playdates. Anything to get out of the house!

It's a tough adjustment and takes a bit to get used to but it's a blast!

coffee89 · April 2014

I'll be a first time stay at home mom as well. We talked about it and crunched the numbers a bunch of ways and the easiest kept coming back to me staying home. I'll be able to save on childcare (which we really wouldn't have been able to afford even with me working) and be able to finish my degree. It does mean a major sacrifice of moving to a place where my husbands commute will go from a half hour bus ride to an hour and a half drive to save on rent so we can eventually buy a home.

I've been out of work so I've had more than my share of "I'm going to go nuts with nothing to do" as well as guilt for not working (but finding a temp job while pregnant is really hard).

I think it's going to hard for me to find independence and "me time".

caitb413 · April 2014

I've been a SAHW for nearly a year now, and as others have said it is all about structure! Pinterest gave me some good ideas for making a housework schedule (Monday- laundry, Tuesday- bathrooms, etc) and it feels good to accomplish something every day. Baking and trying new recipes helps keep me busy when it seems like there's nothing else to do and I also actually enjoy grocery shopping since I can go during the day when the stores aren't crowded. Just getting out of the house once a day makes it better- even if it's taking the dog for a long walk. Once LO gets here I know that'll change my "routine" but I'm looking forward to that adjustment.

As for finances, things have been pretty good. H uses the Mint app to budget and keep track of our spending/bills so we can see exactly where our money goes every month. We save on food by not going out as often and a TON on gas, too (I filled up my car early September and that tank lasted me until early December- but that was also my first tri exhausted/nauseated period and I felt like going nowhere). Working part-time is also an option for me if we feel that money is tight once baby comes, and MIL has already offered to babysit.

elsa1688 · April 2014

I will be a SAHM when this baby comes. I'm a little concerned about staying busy but I am so looking forward to the flexibility we will have. My DF owns his company, so when he is able to take time off, we will just be able to go instead of coordinating two work schedules, vacation days, etc. also, since he works crazy hours, baby and I can meet him for lunch, things like that. I plan on getting out and joining as many things as I can find. You don't have to go every week but it will give me options.

Read247 · April 2014

If you do a little bit of cleaning at a time it's not so overwhelming. I don't do any housework during nap time. That's my "me time." I either take a nap or read a book.

It was a lot easier to get things done when DS was a baby because he napped so much and he wasn't mobile. Trying to clean with a toddler is like trying to brush your teeth while eating Oreos.

I found this list online. Looks pretty close to my chore list.

MrsP419 · April 2014

jaybee11 said:

Any SAHM have a history of depression? I've struggled with it, particularly situationally, and am concerned that the combination of feeling stuck at home as well as general PP hormonal changes might set me up for a hard time. Just curious whether anyone else has felt the lifestyle change was a particular trigger for them and/or how they dealt.

I am a SAHM and have had depression both during pregnancy and postpartum. It is very important to find a support network so you don't feel 100% alone all the time. Join a moms club, like MOPS. Join a church Bible study. Find a playgroup. Make friends at the gym. Anything you can do to get people who are in the same boat as you. Obviously if you struggle with depression daily there is not going to be someone there 24/7, but I had friends who could come over or who I could go to on my worst days.

One positive to being a SAHM when you have depression is that you can take a nap if you need to sometimes. Obviously this depends on how old your kids are and how needy they are, but I had a rough bout with depression and extreme fatigue over the summer (and the fatigue got worse with pregnancy). When my DS napped, I could set up my DD with a movie and take a rest. That helped a lot.

SAHM or not, if you struggle with depression, consider seeing a counselor. They can help you cope with depression in whatever situation you are in.

My biggest tip if you want to be a SAHM (with depression or not), is to not fall into mom-comparison. Some moms who are at home have perfectly clean houses or do pinterest crafts with their kids every day. Some have outings all the time. There is no one way to parent your kids at home; my kids are content to play with each other with my supervision, and I don't have to "prepare" a lot of activities for them. I think if I felt like I had to make my home into mini-prescchol every day, I would feel like a failure. As a SAHM, your job is to keep your kids safe, happy, and healthy, whatever that looks like. My other advice, though, is to be aware of things that suck your time like the internet/social media. It is very tempting to spend lots of time on the computer as a SAHM since your adult interaction is minimal (I am guilty of this every day), but it can be very easy to cross over into spending too much time at the expense of your kids/house. I am not saying to never go on Facebook or Bump or whatever, and some days you need the interaction more than others. Just be aware on the amount of time and why.

curlylocks3 · April 2014

jaybee11 said:

Any SAHM have a history of depression? I've struggled with it, particularly situationally, and am concerned that the combination of feeling stuck at home as well as general PP hormonal changes might set me up for a hard time. Just curious whether anyone else has felt the lifestyle change was a particular trigger for them and/or how they dealt.

I do @jaybee11. I have been working with a therapist during my pregnancy for other issues and we've talked about this quite a bit because I'm scared about it. She told me the fact that I was aware of my increased risk was actually beneficial- it won't prevent depression from occurring but it means I am more likely to get help sooner for it. We plan for me to continue my weekly therapy sessions postpartum as well, at least at the beginning.
If you haven't already thought about it, maybe get your H some material on postpartum depression to read in advance. I've given mine everything my OB gives me, and my mom (who will be coming to help after) had PPD herself so is quite familiar with it.

ashquack · April 2014

I have been a SAHW since January 2013 when we were struggling with fertility treatments... It just became too demanding for me personally to have the stress of all the hormones/appointments etc plus a super demanding job. My husband and I both grew up with a mom at home so knew early on that was what we wanted for our kids. I obviously hadn't planned on quitting before the kids got here but things don't always go as planned:)

Being a stay at home mom is a great option for kids and family but I can see it becoming isolating if you aren't motivated to get out and about. I try to have a few activities planned for myself every week and try to leave the house at least once almost every day. That being said the new baby may change the schedule lol but I will continue to do things to get out and stay social so I don't get "houseitosis" and become depressed. I am so happy for all of you that you are able to make being at home work for your families! And thank you OP for this thread so we can lean on each other go forward!

curlylocks3 · April 2014

As for me, its not 100% official yet but looking very likely that I'll be a SAHM- two newborns in full time daycare is astronomically expensive and since my job does not have set hours, full time is the only option. I'm worried about how I'll cope with it, but some of the plans we have talked about include me being active in the local Moms of Multiples group (and maybe another moms group as well) so that I can hopefully meet other parents doing the same. I know getting out with two little babies will likely be a challenge but we're going to make it a goal at least a few times a week. Finally we have planned that at least once a week H will adjust his schedule to be home earlier so that I can go out and do something, even as minor as going to the library, and interact with other adults.

As for finances, H has run the numbers again and again and come out with our monthly spending limit that still allows us to contribute to retirement, savings, etc, and we're both working on brainstorming ways to cut costs and maximize that money. I'll definitely be cooking a lot more, and we decided to cloth diaper to save money. Another thing we are doing is switching our Comcast package to internet only and using a Chromecast to access Netflix instead of cable. We're already on the lowest minutes/data package we can have with our phones. When we have more stuff figured down I will post it.

ETA: One other thing we are making a priority is our Y membership. A family membership at our local branch gives you 2 free hours of babysitting/day as long as you stay in the building. I figure this will help me get out of the house and just have some "me time". I can either work out the whole time, work out part of it and then just chill in the sauna or something, or even go there and shower and eat my lunch. Another option that I'll have is that if I time it out right, I could work out part of the time while both twins are in babysitting and then pick one of them up and do pool time during family swim with them while the other stays in babysitting (and rotate back and forth on whose turn it is). At least at the beginning I don't think I could safely have both of them in the pool with me, but this would be a nice way to introduce them to the water (which I love) and make sure I get some one on one time with each of them.

steprozz · April 2014

I have been a SAHM for 17 months and will continue do so at least for a while after the new baby is born. I personally love it and wouldn't have it any other way. I do suffer from depression occasionally and after DS was born I didn't have full blown PPD but it was definitely more than baby blues. I personally found it easier to deal with while not working. it allowed me to really focus on learning to be a mom and learning about my new baby and it calmed my fears of being a FTM which I think is what helped me overcome my feelings if that makes sense? now getting ready to be a STM I am freaking out about what I'm going to do at home with two kids to focus on.

Hairstylist16 · April 2014

I've basically been a SAHM since my son was born 2 1/2 years ago, I rarely work in the evenings. It wasn't really the plan when I was pregnant but I'd basically be working to pay for daycare and since my son was a preemie it terrified me to put him in daycare.

Anyways it can get kind of lonely sometimes especially when you don't want to waste gas just to get out of the house but I've gotten pretty good at finding inexpensive things to do with kids like going to the park.

I think my biggest complaint is that it sometimes feels like a never ending job even after my husband comes home. Just because I was home all day doesn't mean I wasn't working as hard as my husband and maybe I need a break from cleaning up dinner or bath time or the dreaded bed time routine but my husband sees it as his time to relax but I don't necessarily get that time.

After my son was born I suffered from baby blues pretty bad and since I'd never had to deal with depression it was really scary and unnerved me, I'm hoping its not as bad this time especially with two kids.

MrsKipper · April 2014

Find a group of other moms. That has helped me so much! Meetup.com is where I found the group I'm in. Also, if your area has a Mommy and Me, I would go to that. Just getting out and being social makes a world of difference (and I'm the biggest introvert you'll meet, so I really had to force myself to get out there and meet new people).

A routine and a schedule will help tremendously. Newborns laugh at schedules and routines, so this won't really happen until baby is around 6 months old but once you get there it will be great to have a structured day.

I'm still trying to figure out how to balance being mommy, housekeeper and cook all at once. You won't have it all together right away so try not to beat yourself up too much or feel like a failure. No one on Pinterest is as perfect as they come across, so don't try to be someone you're not. Do your best!

Make it a point to go outside at least once a day after baby is born. When Nola was first born I would go days without stepping foot outside. That can't be healthy!

curlylocks3 · April 2014

@MrsKipper- I'm fairly introverted too and always have to push myself to talk to people so I am a bit worried about that. Its nice to hear about other introverts who have made it work.

nunzchucks · April 2014

@curlylocks3 I used to go to Target just to wander around by myself on weekends when DD was little!

temursgirl · April 2014

A suggestion for people who are more introverted: in my area there are many groups for mothers and babies or toddlers that focus on an activity. I'm planning on doing mom/baby swim lessons, for example, because we live in a place where water safety is very important, but I also hope to meet new people through the class. I think for some people it's a bit easier to socialize when there's a specific focus already, not just walking into a group and having to make conversation (plus you know you'll have at least one thing in common with the others!).

Also, to add to @MrsP419's comment about activities...My friend provides her young kids with constant outings and activities. She's always either taking them to the park, a play group, library story time, or doing crafts, etc. with them at home, and she never takes time away from her kids. Ever. While I think it's great for kids to do all these activities, I have noticed that now her kids depend a lot on someone else directing their play. My mother wasn't very organized, so a lot of the time I played on my own or with my brother or neighbors. There was no set activity, so we had to come up with our own games, and we invented amazingly fun stuff! I want to leave some time for LO to do this too, and just learn to do her own thing. I think that will also help both of us be independent of each other and have our own time, even when we're at home together.

stephpaez · April 2014

@Read247‌ I use a similar chart, and I find it helps me to keep the house clean because it's all spread out.

mjdavies · April 2014

Yay for this post. I'm making the transition when LO gets here. I'm hoping to do some freelance work but it will be from home so I'm also worried about adult interaction, not leaving the house, and depression. I'm all about creating a schedule for myself and LO when he's old enough to stick to it.

I'm also worried about losing my identity since I've always supported myself. It just feels so weird to rely on someone else to pay the bills.

Also, do you SAHMs have any advice/comebacks for dealing with people who look down on non-working mothers?

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Any other first time SAHM or experienced SAHM out there?

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