Overly eager in-laws??

MrsMCBMar2014 · March 2014

I think my MIL and SIL are overly eager for H and I to get pregnant. Every time we talk to them, they ask if we're pregnant yet or when they'll be expecting a baby from us. We told them the same thing we told my parents "We're trying so, when it happens it happens." MIL asked ME last week over dinner "When are you gonna give me a grand baby? I want one so bad." When she already has an almost 3 year old Grandson. I told H that if and when we speak with either MIL or SIL again, we will just ignore the question.

Is it wrong of us to push off their questions, when they ask all the time? Anyone else with overly eager in-laws?

MrsMCBMar2014 · March 2014

@jefa621 & @englandxo - I might just say that the next time we're over there and she asks. I'm sure it'll shut her up.

@slappalicious - I didn't tell the in-laws...H did. It's all his fault. I told my mom because I wanted her medical/professional opinion on my ute and the issues I've had. She said OB and when I went I was given the OK to try. So, she knows.

@meganole25 - With my first, my mom knew I was pregnant before I even POAS. Hell, I was 19 when I was pregnant with my DS and didn't know jack squat because my cycles were so irregular (I was like 89lbs soaking wet at that time). My mom is good at picking this type of crap out. She knew my SIL (my brother's wife) was pregnant before she even said anything. Creepy.

ETA: I plan to tell H tonight how uncomfortable I am with MIL and SIL constantly asking. He knows how much I dislike MIL and SIL (I don't hate them, but I don't like them either....) so hopefully he tells them nicely to Back the fuck off.

MrsMCBMar2014 · March 2014

oursecretelopement said:

No sorry, I have overly asshole in-laws who are not in our lives. I fear when we get KU'ed they will somehow find out and try to push back into our lives.

I wish my MIL and SIL weren't involved in so much of our daily lives. But they are because they're pushy. FIL and SMIL are super sweet and don't question us. All they ask is that we have a healthy and happy baby.

What's sad is, H's nephew is 2 1/2 yo. He's "special" and it was proven during our wedding 2 weeks ago. I have a lot of relatives in the medical field and they all said that there are issues with the kid...his parents refuse to have him tested for autism (he's not making eye contact, freaks over bright lights (stims off them), bangs his head against anything that is soft (thank god!)). They treat him like he's normal...I mean, he very well could be but all signs are pointing at no.

H hasn't had the heart to tell SIL and BIL let alone MIL. It's really really sad (I know it's completely OT but I'm in a mood now).

MrsMCBMar2014 · March 2014

jj32 said:

You may just have to ask them to quit asking. Our parents know we are trying but they never ask us about it. They both know it will happen when it happens (hopefully) and that asking does not make it happen any quicker.

Yeah, I know what you mean. I'm sure that MIL and SIL will continue to ask even after we ask them to stop. Nothing seems to pacify them or shut them up until they get a "We're Pregnant" out of us....

MusicFanatic · March 2014

I had very eager parents and in-laws for the first 6 or so years of marriage. But we weren't trying yet, sooo... after the 5th or 6th year (I can't even remember now) they kinda stopped asking. Now at 10 years, I think they assume we're not even having kids or something. It hasn't come up in awhile. I think they'll be pretty surprised when I get pregnant and share the news.

But neither know anything, we haven't shared we're TTC and won't. They'll be the first to know when we are, but not beforehand.

MrsMCBMar2014 · March 2014

packerfan4life said:

If you want to be nice you can just tell them to stop asking and that you'll tell them when there's something to tell. If you don't want to be nice you can ask them how there sex life is coming along.

If you don't feel comfortable telling them to back off, I would definitely talk to your H about it and see if he can talk to them and ask them to stop bugging you about it. I don't think people realize how hurtful questions like that can be, especially if you're have trouble TTC.

Being that we're only in the 2nd month of trying and in the 2WW (which is being a complete mindfuck), we don't know if there are any problems yet. But I KWYM.

ETA: I just got a phone call from MIL and politely told her to not question our sex life. She got snippy and hung up on me. WTF? You're questioning me about babies and when I tell you to not question our sex life, you get snippy? Seriously? Shouldn't that be the other way around???

mommy2C · March 2014

I would tell them that they really need to let you relax about the whole thing...after all, according to some people, stress and nagging about grandbabies often has a negative impact on fertility. Ovaries go into hiding and sperm starts swimming in the other direction don't you know.

janda426 · March 2014

I'm fortunate enough that my in laws respect our privacy and are still totally infatuated with their grandson from my SIL that they aren't bothering us.

I feel bad for my other SIL that just got married on Saturday though, they had a brunch the day after the wedding and her new FIL came right over and said in front of like 5 of us, "uh just so you know I expect one of those*points to a baby in the room* real soon" and my SIL was like "in due time, in due time" and he taps his watch and says "I got nothing on my calendar!" It was so awkward to watch. FFS the woman hadn't been married 24 hours and already had her FIL on her ass for a grand kid. It's gonna be a long two years for him (she told me they are trying in 2 years)

MrsMCBMar2014 · March 2014

mommy2C said:

I would tell them that they really need to let you relax about the whole thing...after all, according to some people, stress and nagging about grandbabies often has a negative impact on fertility. Ovaries go into hiding and sperm starts swimming in the other direction don't you know.

Hahaha, yea. I heard about that. There's like a big dead end when it comes to stress & nagging.

MrsMCBMar2014 · March 2014

janda426 said:

I'm fortunate enough that my in laws respect our privacy and are still totally infatuated with their grandson from my SIL that they aren't bothering us. I feel bad for my other SIL that just got married on Saturday though, they had a brunch the day after the wedding and her new FIL came right over and said in front of like 5 of us, "uh just so you know I expect one of those*points to a baby in the room* real soon" and my SIL was like "in due time, in due time" and he taps his watch and says "I got nothing on my calendar!" It was so awkward to watch. FFS the woman hadn't been married 24 hours and already had her FIL on her ass for a grand kid. It's gonna be a long two years for him (she told me they are trying in 2 years)

Aww hell no. That's just not right. How dare he. I feel bad for your SIL. Hopefully she didn't get too upset about it.

Spunky1012 · March 2014

My MIL suggested we have a baby before we got married. True story. We had a 2 year engagement (to finish school) and she wasn't please that it would make her wait. Her words - I could have a baby before the wedding and still get my figure back in that time. Mine talk nonstop about our future kids. She to,d me she expects 8. We don't have a great relationship - shocking, right? I'd suggest DH sit down and have a talk.

MrsMCBMar2014 · March 2014

WhoCanItBeNow said:

meganole25 said:

We haven't told any of our parents that's we're trying. Nor did we with our first.

That being said, if I were in your shoes I would be having my husband have a nice talk with his Mom about how it bugs you.

I think most people don't realize how rude it can be to ask/nag. Especially if they don't know you're having issues and are getting frustrated.

Yeah, blame her. That makes for good relationships with ILs.

He needs to tell her it's inappropriate to ask about and it needs to stop.

We aren't blaming her. MIL is being a little too nosey for my comfort levels. Our phone conversation didn't end well (she hung up on me even though I was sweet as pie) and MIL called H to complain - he of course had already heard from me and told her to stop bugging us because it's upsetting both of us. She didn't like that answer and got snippy with him. Now, she did this same type of shit when we were planning our wedding. She will NOT be happy until we tell her we're pregnant and I'm sure she'll continue to bug/nag/insist until it happens.

nikiz628 · March 2014

Another one for "This is why we didn't tell anyone we are TTC"

I am sorry your IL's can't mind their own business.

MrsMCBMar2014 · March 2014

irishtheatrechic said:

ILs are always a tough needle to thread. On Saturday my MIL told me that she 'gave permission' to my SIL and BIL to start trying this summer, and she 'hopes to give permission' to us next year. I was flabbergasted and actually started to cry and leave the room. I don't understand why ILs think they should have a say in what happens in the bedroom or in my ute.

I would def have R say something, but I like @whocanitbenow said, I wouldn't have him mention it bugging you. I would just say that it is something that makes you both uncomfortable and when there is news to announce you will tell them.

Thank you @irishtheatrechic. R has definitely been on the ball with making things as smooth as possible. It's just funny that MIL thinks she can get away with demanding this stuff when she already has a grandson that she is infatuated with. My FX that pregnancy happens soon. I'm starting to abandon hope for this cycle, even though I'm 9dpo. This 2ww is a complete mindfuck.

ETA: I'm sorry about your IL's. I thought there was something a little "off" about your MIL when I met her. The FIL not so much so (but I'm bad at judging men). They can't tell you what to do with your ute...or his penis and sperm. I mean, seriously. Is the cord still attached? (R's cord was attached until we got engaged...now that we're married shits been changing real quick!)

mommy2C · March 2014

irishtheatrechic said:
ILs are always a tough needle to thread. On Saturday my MIL told me that she 'gave permission' to my SIL and BIL to start trying this summer, and she 'hopes to give permission' to us next year. I was flabbergasted and actually started to cry and leave the room. I don't understand why ILs think they should have a say in what happens in the bedroom or in my ute.

I would def have R say something, but I like @whocanitbenow said, I wouldn't have him mention it bugging you. I would just say that it is something that makes you both uncomfortable and when there is news to announce you will tell them.

Who the hell made her the decision maker of other people's utes? Some people really deserve a swift punch in the face. Sorry she said something so stupid and insensitive.

MrsMCBMar2014 · March 2014

@whocanitbenow - I'm sorry that I misunderstood you and what you said. Brain is rattled from phone convos and back pain. H talked to her and said that it was inappropriate and that we'd tell her as soon as we get pregnant and have seen the doctor for confirmation of a healthy pregnancy. I mean, who wouldn't want ultrasound pictures of a bean in a ute?

@irishtheatrechic - 2ww is a major bitch.

@mommy2c - I couldn't agree more. I wish I could "Love it" a million times over.

mandolynn81 · March 2014

Our parents all bugged us for 6 months and then we told them all we were trying an it wasn't happening easily so not to ask about it anymore. It wasn't mentioned again until after my dad had a heart attack and really got on DH about ' you know how babies are made....right?' He was scared and wanted to see his baby have a baby. He cried like a baby when we told him and even waited in the waiting room for 20 hours waiting for her to be born. He's wrapped around her pinky now

MrsMCBMar2014 · March 2014

CLECyclist said:

This is going to sound snarky as hell but I said it to myself when the same thing happened to me with my parents:

That's what you get for telling people. If you don't want their feedback, encouragement, questions or advice, don't tell people. Otherwise you're kind of fair game.

@CLECyclist - I told H that he made a big mistake telling MIL. He didn't believe me but now he does. Thankfully my parents (and @Irishtheatrechic would know) are cool as potatoes in regards to this. I'm sure my mom will ask sooner or later, but she knows to keep her nose out of my ute (unless I ask for advice). My dad on the other hand just says "as long as the baby is healthy and happy - that's all I care about." True to form...he was the first to tell me to keep my baby when I was pregnant with DS.

(I wouldn't have given him up anyhow....he's the light of my life - next to H of course)

ETA: all the words.

MrsMCBMar2014 · March 2014

CLECyclist said:

MrsMCBMar2014 said:

CLECyclist said:

This is going to sound snarky as hell but I said it to myself when the same thing happened to me with my parents:

That's what you get for telling people. If you don't want their feedback, encouragement, questions or advice, don't tell people. Otherwise you're kind of fair game.

@CLECyclist - I told H that he made a big mistake telling MIL. He didn't believe me but now he does. Thankfully my parents (and @Irishtheatrechic would know) are cool as potatoes in regards to this. I'm sure my mom will ask sooner or later, but she knows to keep her nose out of my ute (unless I ask for advice). My dad on the other hand just says "as long as the baby is healthy and happy - that's all I care about." True to form...he was the first to tell me to keep my baby when I was pregnant with DS. (I wouldn't have given him up anyhow....he's the light of my life - next to H of course)

ETA: all the words.

I love the phrase "cool as potatoes"

It's exciting to tell people, I was excited to tell friends and my parents. We have still never told my ILs that we were trying when I got diagnosed. We're hesitant, because it'll probably break their hearts.

LOL. Yea.

I'm sure their hearts would break, but your health is FAR more important than having a baby.

FrecklesInside · March 2014

MrsMCBMar2014 said:

oursecretelopement said:

No sorry, I have overly asshole in-laws who are not in our lives. I fear when we get KU'ed they will somehow find out and try to push back into our lives.

I wish my MIL and SIL weren't involved in so much of our daily lives. But they are because they're pushy. FIL and SMIL are super sweet and don't question us. All they ask is that we have a healthy and happy baby.

What's sad is, H's nephew is 2 1/2 yo. He's "special" and it was proven during our wedding 2 weeks ago. I have a lot of relatives in the medical field and they all said that there are issues with the kid...his parents refuse to have him tested for autism (he's not making eye contact, freaks over bright lights (stims off them), bangs his head against anything that is soft (thank god!)). They treat him like he's normal...I mean, he very well could be but all signs are pointing at no. H hasn't had the heart to tell SIL and BIL let alone MIL. It's really really sad (I know it's completely OT but I'm in a mood now).

Your wording in this makes me really uncomfortable. I had to say it since no one else is.

MrsMCBMar2014 · March 2014

FrecklesInside said:

MrsMCBMar2014 said:

oursecretelopement said:

No sorry, I have overly asshole in-laws who are not in our lives. I fear when we get KU'ed they will somehow find out and try to push back into our lives.

I wish my MIL and SIL weren't involved in so much of our daily lives. But they are because they're pushy. FIL and SMIL are super sweet and don't question us. All they ask is that we have a healthy and happy baby.

What's sad is, H's nephew is 2 1/2 yo. He's "special" and it was proven during our wedding 2 weeks ago. I have a lot of relatives in the medical field and they all said that there are issues with the kid...his parents refuse to have him tested for autism (he's not making eye contact, freaks over bright lights (stims off them), bangs his head against anything that is soft (thank god!)). They treat him like he's normal...I mean, he very well could be but all signs are pointing at no. H hasn't had the heart to tell SIL and BIL let alone MIL. It's really really sad (I know it's completely OT but I'm in a mood now).

Your wording in this makes me really uncomfortable. I had to say it since no one else is.

I'm sorry that it makes you uncomfortable. I had typed it 10 different ways and for some reason the others seemed harsher then this.

MrsMCBMar2014 · March 2014

mrsattygal said:

I have a feeling I'd pop off with something highly inappropriate like "Well... DH and I had sex every other night for the last week, but I don't know if his sperm fertilized my egg this time or, if it did, whether it has had enough time to implant itself into my ute. Want me to call you so you can hold the stick while I pee on it in a couple weeks?"

Completely affirms my decision not to tell anyone we are trying yet!

I'm sorry...Oh my god...I'm laughing so hard right now. This sounds just like something my sister would say in regards to MIL's relationship with SIL. I would not be surprised if MIL wipes SIL's ass when she's over at her house. (I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but it's the gods honest truth that their relationship is very unhealthy - even for me!).

BriRic · March 2014

FINALLY!! Someone I can relate to. My MIL is driving me CRAZY! My DH and I have been married for 3 1/2 years and last March we decided to TTC.

We've only told a handful of people (my DH's brothers and my best friend), but not his parents or my parents. My BIL and his wife have two kids with one being almost a month old. Every time my DH and I would visit after my SIL announced her 2nd pregnancy, my MIL would always hint or ask us about having a kid. Not only has she asked, but people who know his family have asked us. I don't even know half these people! Some people have even assumed we're not having kids or assumed we don't want kids even though we've NEVER said we weren't having kids.

What is really frustrating is that every time someone asks I get depressed because they have no idea how many HPTs I've taken, how many times I've been depressed because I'm not pregnant, how anxious I get going there because I KNOW I'll be asked, and how much it isn't their friggin business. My own mother doesn't even ask me about giving her grand kids and my MIL has two already! She should be satisfied for now. Egh.

I told my DH that next time someone asks I'm going to say "We're not now because you asked." I guess people aren't allowed these days to actually enjoy being married before bringing kids into the mix. Sorry for the rant, I'm just glad someone feels my pain.

MrsMCBMar2014 · March 2014

BriRic said:

FINALLY!! Someone I can relate to. My MIL is driving me CRAZY! My DH and I have been married for 3 1/2 years and last March we decided to TTC.

We've only told a handful of people (my DH's brothers and my best friend), but not his parents or my parents. My BIL and his wife have two kids with one being almost a month old. Every time my DH and I would visit after my SIL announced her 2nd pregnancy, my MIL would always hint or ask us about having a kid. Not only has she asked, but people who know his family have asked us. I don't even know half these people! Some people have even assumed we're not having kids or assumed we don't want kids even though we've NEVER said we weren't having kids.

What is really frustrating is that every time someone asks I get depressed because they have no idea how many HPTs I've taken, how many times I've been depressed because I'm not pregnant, how anxious I get going there because I KNOW I'll be asked, and how much it isn't their friggin business. My own mother doesn't even ask me about giving her grand kids and my MIL has two already! She should be satisfied for now. Egh.

I told my DH that next time someone asks I'm going to say "We're not now because you asked." I guess people aren't allowed these days to actually enjoy being married before bringing kids into the mix. Sorry for the rant, I'm just glad someone feels my pain.

Yes. I completely feel you pain. Even after H had a discussion with MIL about how inappropriate her questions are, she got all snippy and gave him an attitude. We haven't talked to her since then and now, she just called a few minutes ago to see how things were going in the baby making department. Of course I told her it's none of her business what is going on in my ute and she needs to back the hell off. I hung up and called H right away in tears. Of course MIL called him because I went off and when he called me back, he said that MIL was crying because I told her the back the hell off. I told H that I have every right to say this because she is being extremely inappropriate and if it continues, I will not be happy. H told me he wants me to be happy and he knows how emotional I can be when I'm on AF. H is going to talk to MIL again and lay the ground rules.

I just don't get how MIL can be so nosey when even my own mother knows not to bother me with this stuff. I'm on CD2 and I'm overly emotional and her phone call made me worse.

I need a drink.

mm529 · March 2014

YIKES! This sounds really annoying to have someone checking in on you about such a personal decision. But... I admit I'm experiencing a tab bit of envy. Not because your ILs are being dicks, but just because they are excited for you to have a baby.

We casually mentioned having kids sometime in the next couple of years to my ILs a few months ago and they got so mad! I'm talking screaming and crying. Saying we have no idea what we are getting ourselves into and that kids will kill our marriage (ummm what?). Also, they are too young to be grandparents (they are 60, not 45 WTF ILs?). And my personal favorite - if we have a baby, then FIL and his new wife might have to have one (because life's a competition didn't you know?) and they do not want kids so we better keep it in our pants.

I have a feeling when we do start trying (this fall - YAY!) we will not be telling them. Whenever the BFP comes I have half a mind to just send them as postcard and avoid any and all interaction.

MrsMCBMar2014 · March 2014

mm529 said:

YIKES! This sounds really annoying to have someone checking in on you about such a personal decision. But... I admit I'm experiencing a tab bit of envy. Not because your ILs are being dicks, but just because they are excited for you to have a baby.

We casually mentioned having kids sometime in the next couple of years to my ILs a few months ago and they got so mad! I'm talking screaming and crying. Saying we have no idea what we are getting ourselves into and that kids will kill our marriage (ummm what?). Also, they are too young to be grandparents (they are 60, not 45 WTF ILs?). And my personal favorite - if we have a baby, then FIL and his new wife might have to have one (because life's a competition didn't you know?) and they do not want kids so we better keep it in our pants.

I have a feeling when we do start trying (this fall - YAY!) we will not be telling them. Whenever the BFP comes I have half a mind to just send them as postcard and avoid any and all interaction.

1st bold - WTF IL's!? That's insane. Don't get me wrong, we have been given the talk by FIL and SMIL about how kids change things - but I answered them saying that I already have a 12 year old so this is NOTHING new.

Sometimes IL's still want to be parents to their "children". Our parents (IL's and my parents) are no longer spring chickens, so-to-speak. They're in their 60's. There is 1 grandson on the IL's side and 2 grandsons on my side. Our parents are very much "entertained" by the grandchildren that they have. Do they want more...yes. They know that H and I will be producing at least 2 more grandbabies...where as SIL may not have anymore...(that all depends on her and her husband but the census is that she might not). I dunno.

I'm all sorts of worn out by MIL. SIL has backed off, which is great...but MIL is making me re-think even telling her when we get pregnant.

mmb248 · March 2014

When my in-laws wouldn't stop bothering me, I told them that when we got pregnant, they would know. I promised not to hide a baby from them. In private to my MIL, I said, "This is obviously taking longer than we thought, so if you could get your family to lay off me, I'd appreciate it. I don't care who knows that we're having trouble, I just don't want to discuss it with any of them." Since then, no problems.

The worst of our in-law problems are with FIL (H's parents have been divorced since he was 3; his mom and dad are like night and day). He never says anything to me, but he regularly tells H that he must not be "a real man" since he's almost 40 and childless. Apparently, H's half-bro who has kids that he's never seen or paid child support for is a "real man" because he's been illegally knocking boots with fertile teens.

MrsMCBMar2014 · March 2014

mmb248 said:

When my in-laws wouldn't stop bothering me, I told them that when we got pregnant, they would know. I promised not to hide a baby from them. In private to my MIL, I said, "This is obviously taking longer than we thought, so if you could get your family to lay off me, I'd appreciate it. I don't care who knows that we're having trouble, I just don't want to discuss it with any of them." Since then, no problems.

The worst of our in-law problems are with FIL (H's parents have been divorced since he was 3; his mom and dad are like night and day). He never says anything to me, but he regularly tells H that he must not be "a real man" since he's almost 40 and childless. Apparently, H's half-bro who has kids that he's never seen or paid child support for is a "real man" because he's been illegally knocking boots with fertile teens.

Yikes. That's all I have to say.

Personally, I can't talk to MIL. I've tried so many times to talk with her, but whenever I start a conversation to discuss things, like babies, she makes it all about HER and what SHE wants for a grandbaby, etc. She did similar things when we were planning our wedding. Constantly wanting us to go with what SHE wanted for our wedding. She wanted me to have hydrangea's in my bouquet so we could incorporate H's grandmother who just passed a year before, when I told her it would be daisies (for me) and yellow roses (for my grandmother who I was very close to). We did something different for H's grandmother...the day after the wedding we put a basket of our flowers on her grave.

Anyhow...not to make this post drab, MIL is not my favorite person right now. I've been told I don't have to like her or love her...I just have to tolerate her.

mm529 · March 2014

MrsMCBMar2014 said: mm529 said: We casually mentioned having kids sometime in the next couple of years to my ILs a few months ago and they got so mad! I'm talking screaming and crying. Saying we have no idea what we are getting ourselves into and that kids will kill our marriage (ummm what?). Also, they are too young to be grandparents (they are 60, not 45 WTF ILs?). And my personal favorite - if we have a baby, then FIL and his new wife might have to have one (because life's a competition didn't you know?) and they do not want kids so we better keep it in our pants.

1st bold - WTF IL's!? That's insane. Don't get me wrong, we have been given the talk by FIL and SMIL about how kids change things - but I answered them saying that I already have a 12 year old so this is NOTHING new.

ME: I mean, I kind of understand why FIL reacted like that. His marriage to my MIL dissolved after they had my DH because they apparently never discussed or agreed upon how kids would change their lives and they had radically different outlooks = marriage explosion.

I'm just tired of them (FIL, SMIL, and MIL to a lesser extent) assuming we are as unprepared as they were. While we don't clue them into our private discussions, it still drives me crazy!

You said it perfectly with "Sometimes IL's still want to be parents to their "children"."

ETA - Quote fail

is everyone else having major issues with this? or do I just suck at bumping?

MrsMCBMar2014 · March 2014

mm529 said:

MrsMCBMar2014 said:

mm529 said:

We casually mentioned having kids sometime in the next couple of years to my ILs a few months ago and they got so mad! I'm talking screaming and crying. Saying we have no idea what we are getting ourselves into and that kids will kill our marriage (ummm what?). Also, they are too young to be grandparents (they are 60, not 45 WTF ILs?). And my personal favorite - if we have a baby, then FIL and his new wife might have to have one (because life's a competition didn't you know?) and they do not want kids so we better keep it in our pants.

1st bold - WTF IL's!? That's insane. Don't get me wrong, we have been given the talk by FIL and SMIL about how kids change things - but I answered them saying that I already have a 12 year old so this is NOTHING new.

ME: I mean, I kind of understand why FIL reacted like that. His marriage to my MIL dissolved after they had my DH because they apparently never discussed or agreed upon how kids would change their lives and they had radically different outlooks = marriage explosion.

I'm just tired of them (FIL, SMIL, and MIL to a lesser extent) assuming we are as unprepared as they were. While we don't clue them into our private discussions, it still drives me crazy!

You said it perfectly with "Sometimes IL's still want to be parents to their "children"."

ETA - Quote fail

is everyone else having major issues with this? or do I just suck at bumping?

I think if you're mobile bumping, you'll have issues...but it's ok. I understood.

RAHENOS · March 2014

We told DH's dad we're trying because he loves babies and has no hope of grandchildren from any of his other 3 children. He was extremely excited and gave us wise words, and hasn't spoken to us about it since (like 6 months ago)

We won't be telling my parents until we announce to them that we're pregnant someday. They have 4 grandsons already, yet they constantly bug me about giving them a granddaughter.

wishiwaspreggo · March 2014

You guys, these responses get me thinking... are all of us going to be this crazy about grandkids when we're old? Are we going to pester our children about it? Are we going to send them on guilt trips rocky enough to make them want to pull their hair out? I wonder if a switch gets flipped in our heads after we turn 55 and then a new form of baby fever sets in. It's worrisome to me.

MrsMCBMar2014 · March 2014

RAHENOS said:

We told DH's dad we're trying because he loves babies and has no hope of grandchildren from any of his other 3 children. He was extremely excited and gave us wise words, and hasn't spoken to us about it since (like 6 months ago)

We won't be telling my parents until we announce to them that we're pregnant someday. They have 4 grandsons already, yet they constantly bug me about giving them a granddaughter.

@RAHENOS: My parents have 2 grandsons already (my son and my nephew). They're quite happy with that - especially since my son & father share a birthday (April 1st - no joke!). They have said they'd like a granddaughter, so between myself & my brother (the only 2 married & w/kids at this point) one of us is bound to have a girl. I think my sister and other brother are useless at this point...but they're still young so there is hope...I suppose.

PS - I LOVE BOO and That other movie chick...#whatshernameiteludesme!

wishiwaspreggo said:

You guys, these responses get me thinking... are all of us going to be this crazy about grandkids when we're old? Are we going to pester our children about it? Are we going to send them on guilt trips rocky enough to make them want to pull their hair out? I wonder if a switch gets flipped in our heads after we turn 55 and then a new form of baby fever sets in. It's worrisome to me.

@wishiwaspreggo - Yea, I'm wondering the same thing. However, My parents were 48 & 49 when I had my son 13 years ago (April 1st!! eek!) so, they weren't asking - yet. LOL.

ladybug212 · March 2014

I can't even imagine how frustrating that must be to get asked all the time.

My family doesn't even know that we have decided to try and they still ask sometimes.

AmandaLeeBest · March 2014

irishtheatrechic said:

ILs are always a tough needle to thread. On Saturday my MIL told me that she 'gave permission' to my SIL and BIL to start trying this summer, and she 'hopes to give permission' to us next year. I was flabbergasted and actually started to cry and leave the room. I don't understand why ILs think they should have a say in what happens in the bedroom or in my ute.

I would def have R say something, but I like @whocanitbenow said, I wouldn't have him mention it bugging you. I would just say that it is something that makes you both uncomfortable and when there is news to announce you will tell them.

Some MILs or FILs can be weird like that. As in they don't want to be grandparents yet because they are too young! waaa!

Do what you want, and they will get over it.

RAHENOS · March 2014

MrsMCBMar2014 said:

RAHENOS said:

We told DH's dad we're trying because he loves babies and has no hope of grandchildren from any of his other 3 children. He was extremely excited and gave us wise words, and hasn't spoken to us about it since (like 6 months ago)

We won't be telling my parents until we announce to them that we're pregnant someday. They have 4 grandsons already, yet they constantly bug me about giving them a granddaughter.

@RAHENOS: My parents have 2 grandsons already (my son and my nephew). They're quite happy with that - especially since my son & father share a birthday (April 1st - no joke!). They have said they'd like a granddaughter, so between myself & my brother (the only 2 married & w/kids at this point) one of us is bound to have a girl. I think my sister and other brother are useless at this point...but they're still young so there is hope...I suppose.

PS - I LOVE BOO and That other movie chick...#whatshernameiteludesme!

@MrsMCBMar2014 Rachel Leigh Cook!

And my parents have 2 grandsons each from my brother and my sister, and they're both pretty much guaranteed to not have more. So as my mother likes to inform me "I'm her last hope."

oooooh gawd

MrsMCBMar2014 · March 2014

RAHENOS said:

MrsMCBMar2014 said:

RAHENOS said:

We told DH's dad we're trying because he loves babies and has no hope of grandchildren from any of his other 3 children. He was extremely excited and gave us wise words, and hasn't spoken to us about it since (like 6 months ago)

We won't be telling my parents until we announce to them that we're pregnant someday. They have 4 grandsons already, yet they constantly bug me about giving them a granddaughter.

@RAHENOS: My parents have 2 grandsons already (my son and my nephew). They're quite happy with that - especially since my son & father share a birthday (April 1st - no joke!). They have said they'd like a granddaughter, so between myself & my brother (the only 2 married & w/kids at this point) one of us is bound to have a girl. I think my sister and other brother are useless at this point...but they're still young so there is hope...I suppose.

PS - I LOVE BOO and That other movie chick...#whatshernameiteludesme!

@MrsMCBMar2014 Rachel Leigh Cook!

And my parents have 2 grandsons each from my brother and my sister, and they're both pretty much guaranteed to not have more. So as my mother likes to inform me "I'm her last hope."

oooooh gawd

@RAHENOS LOL. Thank you for the name!! I appreciate it.

I'm sure you'll bless your parents with more grand babies.

What is with the quote button...fail.

mm529 · March 2014

wishiwaspreggo said:

You guys, these responses get me thinking... are all of us going to be this crazy about grandkids when we're old? Are we going to pester our children about it? Are we going to send them on guilt trips rocky enough to make them want to pull their hair out?

I'm not too worried. Between my friends and me, I've seen a huge range from saying nothing, to gently mentioned they were be excited for grand kids, to serious pressure/guilt trips, and screaming fits of rage. From what I can tell, the people who guilt trip or throw fits fit into two different categories.

1) they think that they have a right to dictate what their grown children do <-- people like this suck and I'm sure as hell going to make a conscious effort not to be one

2) they are oblivious as to how annoying and aggravating their comments are <-- say something, don't suffer in silence

barely · March 2014

I made the mistake of telling anyone and everyone that we were trying. Came back to bite me in the ass after our loss. I would definitely have your H say something to them. TTC can be stressful enough, you don't need that on top of it. But I also agree with PP, I would refrain from telling anyone else. I had to learn that the hard way. Although I have also found that people will ask whether you tell them you're trying or not.

Sliptak · March 2014

slappalicious said:
Oh and my comeback for 'when are you going to have a kid' was always, "I don't know, probably nine months after I get pregnant".

Lol that's perfect. When people ask me when we're having a baby I either just say whenever it happens or obviously not today.

I told my in laws and my parents just because I'm so excited and I just can't hide it!! But my MIL went from being omg i cant wait for another grand baby to you know, you have plenty of time..don't rush it. And I feel equally irritated by this attitude as I do when people ask about ttc. I told you we made the decision to have a baby so wtf do you think it's your business to tell me not to? Like wtf? We're grown adults and obviously thought legitimately about this before making the decision.

jesslz · March 2014

I know how u feel - my SIL is prego right now and my MIL is already saying how she wants to buy us a crib...lol

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