Sometimes I lurk on the blended families board (I don't know why.. I'm not a part of a blended family), and I see that it's popular over there to have 50/50 physical custody. I'm not splitting with DH or anything, but my confession is that would NOT be happening here. I don't think it's best for the child to have two homes. I am old-fashioned I guess in thinking kids need their moms more than their dads, at least till a certain age. And for the really flammable part, I would NOT be willing to give up that much time with LO. Nope, nope, nope.
I would feel bad for DH if we ever did split (again, we are getting along fine, I just find myself lurking everywhere lately!), because I would not be easy on him.
I disagree. Plus, maybe the man feels the way in (that he is not willing to give up that much time with LO). Totally depends on the situations and the people.
@LJUTCMommy have you taken her into the bathroom while you shower before? That used to work for us. The sound of the shower would calm him down enough for him to fall asleep. Then, I'd transfer him to his crib and put my phone by his head while it played a rain sound. The app I used was "sleep pillow".
It sounds like you have tried everything though. I hope it's just a phase and it passes tonite.
Also, your siggy is so beautiful.
Thanks Cosmic!
She usually sits in her bouncer while I shower, but doesn't sleep there (noticing a theme? lol).
I actually do the same with my "sound sleeper app" turn on the real vacuum, then switch to "vacuum" noise after sleep happens. This used to work.
I think it's so cute those who are saying their kids will eat whatever they put in front of them. All the moms I talk to with toddler think it's a win just getting their kid to eat, let alone something new. Lucas pretty much rotates through the same foods while occasionally trying something new, but usually spits it out saying its yucky
This is what I keep thinking...
How do we know what our LOs will be like when they're toddlers? I'm a very picky adult. My sister and my mother are too.
DD eats everything now, but I'm not going to starve her rather than give her chicken nuggets or something similar when she's older. When I was a child, I would have gone to bed hungry or not eat for an entire day or 2 if nothing I liked was offered.
I will try to teach healthy habits, but accept that sometimes you just have to survive.
I get that kids are picky. And never was starvation brought up. Of course I'll feed my kid if she isn't eating what I made. But I guarantee there will be SOMETHING she likes that isn't chicken nuggets, hot dogs, and French fries. If she isn't given those things, then she can't build a favoritism of those foods over something more healthy.
There are nights where I high five myself because I got him to eat some goldfish because I couldn't get ANYTHING else in his mouth. Or I couldn't handle the high pitch screeching because xyz instead of mno.
@peteyrisha My brain reads your screen name as Irish Petey. So, I have a theory that you are the Irish version of @Petey1106. Therefore, you must exist in a parallel universe. The two of you must never meet for it would certainly cause a black hole.
Whew, glad I got that off my chest.
I am also Irish. Maybe I made an AE and you guys have no clue.
I have missed so much! LO is teething and has only slept for 45 mins since 6:30am
Now I guess im not allowed to visit Colorado in fear of meeting Petey and creating a black hole. Where will I vacation now? (
Sometimes I lurk on the blended families board (I don't know why.. I'm not a part of a blended family), and I see that it's popular over there to have 50/50 physical custody. I'm not splitting with DH or anything, but my confession is that would NOT be happening here. I don't think it's best for the child to have two homes. I am old-fashioned I guess in thinking kids need their moms more than their dads, at least till a certain age. And for the really flammable part, I would NOT be willing to give up that much time with LO. Nope, nope, nope.
I would feel bad for DH if we ever did split (again, we are getting along fine, I just find myself lurking everywhere lately!), because I would not be easy on him.
From a stepmom with a DH who has fought tooth and nail to have time with his son if you did that you would 1: be a major bitch and 2: have a major impact on your children for very selfish reason. 3: I hate women like you. 4: it took both of you to make said child so yes dad deserves just as much time as you do. Holy shit you just royal pissed me off.
Sometimes I lurk on the blended families board (I don't know why.. I'm not a part of a blended family), and I see that it's popular over there to have 50/50 physical custody. I'm not splitting with DH or anything, but my confession is that would NOT be happening here. I don't think it's best for the child to have two homes. I am old-fashioned I guess in thinking kids need their moms more than their dads, at least till a certain age. And for the really flammable part, I would NOT be willing to give up that much time with LO. Nope, nope, nope.
I would feel bad for DH if we ever did split (again, we are getting along fine, I just find myself lurking everywhere lately!), because I would not be easy on him.
I am not part of a blended family but I am a divorce attorney and people don't have a choice. The courts are moving to 50/50 custody and if that's what they order you don't really have an option to say nope not happening here. Also, they order 50/50 bc if both parents are good parents, it is best for the child to have equal time with each.
Sometimes I lurk on the blended families board (I don't know why.. I'm not a part of a blended family), and I see that it's popular over there to have 50/50 physical custody. I'm not splitting with DH or anything, but my confession is that would NOT be happening here. I don't think it's best for the child to have two homes. I am old-fashioned I guess in thinking kids need their moms more than their dads, at least till a certain age. And for the really flammable part, I would NOT be willing to give up that much time with LO. Nope, nope, nope.
I would feel bad for DH if we ever did split (again, we are getting along fine, I just find myself lurking everywhere lately!), because I would not be easy on him.
I think this is a really selfish naive way to think. As a member of a blended family, it hurts my stepdaughters to not be with their father 50/50. They cry when they have to go home. The only reason we don't have 50/50 physical is because we are military and so are they and we are in different locations now. It is selfish to say you would not want to let the other parent have time with their own flesh and blood. I would never dream of telling XH no he can't have his time with the children. Do I miss them? Yes I certainly do but he is a parent too.
ETA: we do have 50/50 custody and if we were to be assigned a duty station with them we would have 50/50 joint.
Sometimes I lurk on the blended families board (I don't know why.. I'm not a part of a blended family), and I see that it's popular over there to have 50/50 physical custody. I'm not splitting with DH or anything, but my confession is that would NOT be happening here. I don't think it's best for the child to have two homes. I am old-fashioned I guess in thinking kids need their moms more than their dads, at least till a certain age. And for the really flammable part, I would NOT be willing to give up that much time with LO. Nope, nope, nope.
I would feel bad for DH if we ever did split (again, we are getting along fine, I just find myself lurking everywhere lately!), because I would not be easy on him.
Wow. I'm sad that I'm mobile because now I can't gif flame you. This is incredibly sad, not to mention flat out selfish and stupid.
Sometimes I lurk on the blended families board (I don't know why.. I'm not a part of a blended family), and I see that it's popular over there to have 50/50 physical custody. I'm not splitting with DH or anything, but my confession is that would NOT be happening here. I don't think it's best for the child to have two homes. I am old-fashioned I guess in thinking kids need their moms more than their dads, at least till a certain age. And for the really flammable part, I would NOT be willing to give up that much time with LO. Nope, nope, nope.
I would feel bad for DH if we ever did split (again, we are getting along fine, I just find myself lurking everywhere lately!), because I would not be easy on him.
How would you feel if your husband were saying the same things about you? What if he felt the father is more important? What if he felt he shouldn't have to share equal time with you? That shit wouldn't be fair would it? You ought to feel ashamed of yourself.
Of the people I know IRL, none have 50/50 physical, I didn't even know it was a thing until the Bump. I wouldn't keep DS from DH, but it is my (unpopular) opinion that the custody arrangement would be a closer to 75/25, at very least until school aged. It's alright that you guys don't agree, I figured there would be people who didn't, and that's why it's on FFFC.
Also, @michelle N, I hate my daughter's father with a passion that burns greater than I can express in text. However, I understand the important role he plays in her life and I would never keep them apart. If you ever get in this situation, don't be selfish like that. Unless your child's life is in danger with the father, he deserves to see his child, too. You would really be hurting your child by putting them in such a selfish situation.
@Michelle N, DH grew up without his dad. It was his dads choice, but either way, he grew up without a father figure in his life. Luckily he is an amazing dad, even though he didn't have that influence growing up, but he definitely has emotional issues from his childhood due to the fact that his father was never in his life. You may think that a child is better off having their mother around, but trust me when I say that it will have a long term effect on him when he gets older. I really don't see what benefits there are from keeping a father from his children if he wants to be part of their life.
Of the people I know IRL, none have 50/50 physical, I didn't even know it was a thing until the Bump. I wouldn't keep DS from DH, but it is my (unpopular) opinion that the custody arrangement would be a closer to 75/25, at very least until school aged. It's alright that you guys don't agree, I figured there would be people who didn't, and that's why it's on FFFC.
I need to walk away. I'm getting so mad, my blood pressure is rising.
Sometimes I lurk on the blended families board (I don't know why.. I'm not a part of a blended family), and I see that it's popular over there to have 50/50 physical custody. I'm not splitting with DH or anything, but my confession is that would NOT be happening here. I don't think it's best for the child to have two homes. I am old-fashioned I guess in thinking kids need their moms more than their dads, at least till a certain age. And for the really flammable part, I would NOT be willing to give up that much time with LO. Nope, nope, nope.
I would feel bad for DH if we ever did split (again, we are getting along fine, I just find myself lurking everywhere lately!), because I would not be easy on him.
Kids need their moms more than their dads? Guess my older boys were screwed there for a bit when DH took full custody of them at ages 1 and 3 before I moved in.
My children each have their own special bond with their father. A big piece of them would be missing of they didn't have him enough.
Also, my parents divorced when I was 9. We moved and I rarely saw my father anymore. That effected me greatly in a bad way.
I have been in tears the last 3 nights because it has taken 4 hours to get DD to sleep and even after she only sleeps for 2 hours at a time. Sometimes I just feel like I can't take it anymore. I often feel helpless, like what can I do? What should I do? I am so exhausted and have daily headaches, stomach cramps, and my eyes feel like sand paper.
I sometimes wish I could go back to the newborn phase, because that was actually easier. WTH!!
I am so sorry that you're going through that.... sending massive internet hugs your way.
Of the people I know IRL, none have 50/50 physical, I didn't even know it was a thing until the Bump. I wouldn't keep DS from DH, but it is my (unpopular) opinion that the custody arrangement would be a closer to 75/25, at very least until school aged. It's alright that you guys don't agree, I figured there would be people who didn't, and that's why it's on FFFC.
Do you even grasp how much time 25% would be??? Yea like 1 day. That's definetly not keeping him from his father.:eyeroll:
Of the people I know IRL, none have 50/50 physical, I didn't even know it was a thing until the Bump. I wouldn't keep DS from DH, but it is my (unpopular) opinion that the custody arrangement would be a closer to 75/25, at very least until school aged. It's alright that you guys don't agree, I figured there would be people who didn't, and that's why it's on FFFC.
Do you even grasp how much time 25% would be??? Yea like 1 day. That's definetly not keeping him from his father.:eyeroll:
Actually it's 42 hours a week. But you guys don't need to get feeling all sorry for DS, I'm happily married lol.
@MichelleN Um...... no. Just no. Everything you said sucks. My Dad left when I was very young, and although I have an amazing step father who adopted me legally, my bio Dad missing out on a lot of important things borthers me to this day. I hope you never have to go through a divorce, because I feel like your bitterness would get in the way of your LO's best interest.
ETA to add- ladies with the professional email font preferences: a rep from our Call Center just emailed my entire department in "French Script" font.
Of the people I know IRL, none have 50/50 physical, I didn't even know it was a thing until the Bump. I wouldn't keep DS from DH, but it is my (unpopular) opinion that the custody arrangement would be a closer to 75/25, at very least until school aged. It's alright that you guys don't agree, I figured there would be people who didn't, and that's why it's on FFFC.
Do you even grasp how much time 25% would be??? Yea like 1 day. That's definetly not keeping him from his father.:eyeroll:
I actually decided to live with my Dad when I was a preteen. While visiting, I called my Mom and said I'd rather be with him. What would you do in that situation?
Would you deny your child's desire because you want to be in control of the situation?
Of the people I know IRL, none have 50/50 physical, I didn't even know it was a thing until the Bump. I wouldn't keep DS from DH, but it is my (unpopular) opinion that the custody arrangement would be a closer to 75/25, at very least until school aged. It's alright that you guys don't agree, I figured there would be people who didn't, and that's why it's on FFFC.
Do you even grasp how much time 25% would be??? Yea like 1 day. That's definetly not keeping him from his father.:eyeroll:
Actually it's 42 hours a week. But you guys don't need to get feeling all sorry for DS, I'm happily married lol.
42 hours means 1 day/1 night I'm glad you feel that's plenty.
Sorry to leave y'all hangin for so long. It was strange... I could feel the air being sucked out of my nose. I can tell why she hates it. I got something out too. Lol. That was hilarious. Of course I rinsed it out before using it to baste my roast! ">
GET OUT OF MY HEAD. I came in here just to confess that I seriously weighed using the NoseFrida on myself last weekend. We all had colds, and she wailed every time I got the thing out, and all I could think was how great it would be if I could blow my nose without having to rub it raw with a tissue.
Of the people I know IRL, none have 50/50 physical, I didn't even know it was a thing until the Bump. I wouldn't keep DS from DH, but it is my (unpopular) opinion that the custody arrangement would be a closer to 75/25, at very least until school aged. It's alright that you guys don't agree, I figured there would be people who didn't, and that's why it's on FFFC.
Do you even grasp how much time 25% would be??? Yea like 1 day. That's definetly not keeping him from his father.:eyeroll:
I actually decided to live with my Dad when I was a preteen. While visiting, I called my Mom and said I'd rather be with him. What would you do in that situation?
Would you deny your child's desire because you want to be in control of the situation?
I also know a girl I went to Elementary school with whos parents were divorced and her mom had primary custody. She saw her dad every other weekend, and it was because her mom and dad didn't get along. She grew up very bitter towards her mother and when she turned 18, she moved in with her dad and she basically has no contact with her mother because she felt so hurt that she'd purposely keep her dad out of her life.
Of the people I know IRL, none have 50/50 physical, I didn't even know it was a thing until the Bump. I wouldn't keep DS from DH, but it is my (unpopular) opinion that the custody arrangement would be a closer to 75/25, at very least until school aged. It's alright that you guys don't agree, I figured there would be people who didn't, and that's why it's on FFFC.
Do you even grasp how much time 25% would be??? Yea like 1 day. That's definetly not keeping him from his father.:eyeroll:
I actually decided to live with my Dad when I was a preteen. While visiting, I called my Mom and said I'd rather be with him. What would you do in that situation?
Would you deny your child's desire because you want to be in control of the situation?
no! lol, this got a little out of hand. DH agrees with me. All I meant to say was, it is my opinion, I ouldn't want 1 week on, one week off (or whatever 50/50 schedule), while my kid was young. DH agrees with me.
Sometimes I lurk on the blended families board (I don't know why.. I'm not a part of a blended family), and I see that it's popular over there to have 50/50 physical custody. I'm not splitting with DH or anything, but my confession is that would NOT be happening here. I don't think it's best for the child to have two homes. I am old-fashioned I guess in thinking kids need their moms more than their dads, at least till a certain age. And for the really flammable part, I would NOT be willing to give up that much time with LO. Nope, nope, nope.
I would feel bad for DH if we ever did split (again, we are getting along fine, I just find myself lurking everywhere lately!), because I would not be easy on him.
From a stepmom with a DH who has fought tooth and nail to have time with his son if you did that you would 1: be a major bitch and 2: have a major impact on your children for very selfish reason. 3: I hate women like you. 4: it took both of you to make said child so yes dad deserves just as much time as you do. Holy shit you just royal pissed me off.
This. Also, you will have to comply with whatever the judge says, you have a say but you don't get to decide yourself what you're going to "let" happen. My DH loves and misses my SKs when they are with their mom, and he's a much better parent than she is. I can't imagine ever having to be separated from LO the way he is from them. That's part of the reason why we decided before we got married that divorce is not ever going to be on the table for us. We've both BTDT.
@Michellen i dont talk about my bfs custody situation on A13 to often but what you said makes me want to slap.you hard.
My bf and his ex have a 50/50 custody agreement but he is the one who predominatly cares for their son. I cant imagine him having to give up time with his son because c's mom decided she wanta to follow the co that month.
Sorry to leave y'all hangin for so long. It was strange... I could feel the air being sucked out of my nose. I can tell why she hates it. I got something out too. Lol. That was hilarious. Of course I rinsed it out before using it to baste my roast! ">
GET OUT OF MY HEAD. I came in here just to confess that I seriously weighed using the NoseFrida on myself last weekend. We all had colds, and she wailed every time I got the thing out, and all I could think was how great it would be if I could blow my nose without having to rub it raw with a tissue.
@MynaBird Two words....boogie wipes! They are amazing when your nose gets to a certain point.
Of the people I know IRL, none have 50/50 physical, I didn't even know it was a thing until the Bump. I wouldn't keep DS from DH, but it is my (unpopular) opinion that the custody arrangement would be a closer to 75/25, at very least until school aged. It's alright that you guys don't agree, I figured there would be people who didn't, and that's why it's on FFFC.
Guess it's too fuckin bad you don't get to decide that isn't it?! All the people I know IRL have 50/50. Oh and get over yourself.
Re: FFFC
I disagree. Plus, maybe the man feels the way in (that he is not willing to give up that much time with LO). Totally depends on the situations and the people.
BFP 3/29/2014 2u2 Let's do this!
I have missed so much! LO is teething and has only slept for 45 mins since 6:30am
ETA: we do have 50/50 custody and if we were to be assigned a duty station with them we would have 50/50 joint.
Wow. I'm sad that I'm mobile because now I can't gif flame you. This is incredibly sad, not to mention flat out selfish and stupid.
BFP 3/29/2014 2u2 Let's do this!
BFP 3/29/2014 2u2 Let's do this!
I need to walk away. I'm getting so mad, my blood pressure is rising.
BFP 3/29/2014 2u2 Let's do this!
My children each have their own special bond with their father. A big piece of them would be missing of they didn't have him enough.
Also, my parents divorced when I was 9. We moved and I rarely saw my father anymore. That effected me greatly in a bad way.
Just finished reading the thread (stupid work getting in the way of my bumping)....
@nnikki10 YGPM shortly.
@KatieS7 No more lurking for you! We miss you!
@MichelleN Um...... no. Just no. Everything you said sucks. My Dad left when I was very young, and although I have an amazing step father who adopted me legally, my bio Dad missing out on a lot of important things borthers me to this day. I hope you never have to go through a divorce, because I feel like your bitterness would get in the way of your LO's best interest.
ETA to add- ladies with the professional email font preferences: a rep from our Call Center just emailed my entire department in "French Script" font.
[-X42 hours means 1 day/1 night I'm glad you feel that's plenty.
happen. My DH loves and misses my SKs when they are with their mom, and he's a much better parent than she is. I can't imagine ever having to be separated from LO the way he is from them. That's part of the reason why we decided before we got married that divorce is not ever going to be on the table for us. We've both BTDT.
My bf and his ex have a 50/50 custody agreement but he is the one who predominatly cares for their son. I cant imagine him having to give up time with his son because c's mom decided she wanta to follow the co that month.
::virtual fist bump::
@MynaBird Two words....boogie wipes! They are amazing when your nose gets to a certain point.