FFFC Confess all the things

Teachermom09 · March 2014

I have was out of work today and yesterday with strep and an ear infection. DS is staying with my I laws until I have reached the 48 hours on antibotics mark. DH has tried not to bother me. Is it bad that I'm considering this a mini vacay?

All you ladies that have sore throats call your dr! I thought mine was allergies until it had started to spread to my ears.

marsalisails · March 2014

symphony4586 said:
So my FFFC is not my own, but my MIL's (I can never think of anything good to share.) MIL called me and asked if she could "borrow" DS for about an hour to give me a break. I was a little leery at first because she is the one that has the dog that bit him, but she just wanted to take him with her while she went shopping. After hearing she was just going shopping, I was all for the mini break.

When MIL got here to pick him up, she confessed that she only wanted to borrow him so that she could try out the new leash she bought him.

DH and I have both told her multiple times that we do not like or want to use leashes on our children. I guess my confession can be that I despise putting leashes on children and I will side eye every person that I see using one.

Oh hell no! Did you still let him go? I would have seriously told her she's not taking my kid anywhere is she's going to treat him like an animal and put him on a leash.

Why can't she just hold his hand when they are out together? It isn't like she's got multiple toddlers around right? The leash concept always confused me. My son knows not to leave my side when we're out...

AMcLaws · March 2014

We bought a leash to use with my daughter while we were at Disneyland last month. We ended up just holding her hand though. The leash was just a hassle.

zellatrix · March 2014

Went looking for a pic of a parent dragging a kid by a leash because those are the times when I think they are horrible. Otherwise, if it keeps your kid safe and gives them a feeling of independence, more power to you.

Then I found this. And I lol'ed.

mrscurlygurl · March 2014

Matthew930 said: So my FFFC is not my own, but my MIL's (I can never think of anything good to share.) MIL called me and asked if she could "borrow" DS for about an hour to give me a break. I was a little leery at first because she is the one that has the dog that bit him, but she just wanted to take him with her while she went shopping. After hearing she was just going shopping, I was all for the mini break. When MIL got here to pick him up, she confessed that she only wanted to borrow him so that she could try out the new leash she bought him. DH and I have both told her multiple times that we do not like or want to use leashes on our children. I guess my confession can be that I despise putting leashes on children and I will side eye every person that I see using one. Oh hell no! Did you still let him go? I would have seriously told her she's not taking my kid anywhere is she's going to treat him like an animal and put him on a leash. Why can't she just hold his hand when they are out together? It isn't like she's got multiple toddlers around right? The leash concept always confused me. My son knows not to leave my side when we're out...

The bolded is kind of sanctimommy. Even though my two year old "knows" not to leave my side...that doesn't mean he won't ever get distracted by something and run off. We haven't used one yet, but I would if we were going somewhere I thought would warrant it. I think with one kid the concept could seem really unnecessary, but with more than one...maybe.

marsalisails · March 2014

@mrscurlygurl‌ - i guess it came out wrong - but he does stay fairly close to me when we are out at stores, or he hears it from me immediately. I'm one that "focus shops", so it's not like I'm browsing, so he doesn't really have a chance to go anywhere. When he was really little (but still walking) i had him in his stroller with toys to keep him occupied if I was going to be a while. I try to be as in and out as possible. If we are in a grocery store, he's in the cart, and we bring a toy for him to play with.

Maybe it is a little sancti-mommy, but i feel strongly that if I'm out with my kid, 1. I'm not going to make other people watch him for me while he runs around and 2. I'm too scared that he's going to get snatched to let him out of my sight even for a second. No one is perfect, but i enforce the rules consistently enough that it hasn't been a problem.

mrscurlygurl · March 2014

I really just think it's something that would depend on each kid. I don't think parents who use the backpacks or other leash-type things do it because they don't want to watch their kids, but because they want to give them some freedom in places that might be crowded or a little dangerous.

marsalisails · March 2014

mrscurlygurl said:
I really just think it's something that would depend on each kid. I don't think parents who use the backpacks or other leash-type things do it because they don't want to watch their kids, but because they want to give them some freedom in places that might be crowded or a little dangerous.

I wasn't dogging leash users, I just said I didn't understand it. I wasn't even the one that said they thought the parents were treating their kids like dogs. FwIW, I don't.

mrscurlygurl · March 2014

And I'm not really trying to pick on you @Mattew930. That one statement you said just turned me off a little. It's cool

Salsera29 · March 2014

abchittam said:

Yeah, the "leash" debate is one that I'm sure can get some people riled up. I'm not opposed to them. I see situations where they would be great. I don't think MIL should get to make that choice though. @abchittam, you need to tell that woman that she had her chance when raising DH, but it's your job to parent your child how you see fit.
I wasn't saying it in hopes of a debate. Everyone has their own opinion. As long as you aren't hurting your child, then I respect that. I think my initial "fire" in the first post came from my anger towards MIL because she never respects our wishes. She is constantly going behind our back (and SIL's back) doing things how she sees fit, despite what we request of her. ETA: DH told her off when she brought DS home.

I get it. I personally don't have any moral objection to the child leash, but since you do, your MIL needs to respect that. She doesn't have to agree, but she does have to abide by your wishes for your child. Good for YH for standing up to her!

SuperTinkerham · March 2014

I refuse to patronize chick FIL a bc I don't like their religiousity and treatment of gay people. Mister is attending a work event tomorrow where chickfil a is catering. I instructed him to steal as much chick FIL a sauce as possible for me. That shit is tasty. I'm a hypocrite

Nichole8787 · March 2014

@abchittam I don't know if you like Katt Williams but he is my favorite comedian! Please click this and laugh.

Edit to include that I happen to not agree with putting children on leashes. I will never put my child on a leash but to each their own.

jensavicci · March 2014

Nichole8787 said:
@abchittam I don't know if you like Katt Williams but he is my favorite comedian! Please click this and laugh.

I love katt Williams! I'm not crazy about everything he says or does but he has me rolling in my own tears at the end of a show. Him and Kevin hart. Hands down.

Nichole8787 · March 2014

jensavicci said:

@abchittam I don't know if you like Katt Williams but he is my favorite comedian! Please click this and laugh.
I love katt Williams! I'm not crazy about everything he says or does but he has me rolling in my own tears at the end of a show. Him and Kevin hart. Hands down.

I feel the same way...but honestly I don't know of one person that I agree with everything they say or do. Hell I don't even approve of everything I say or do sometimes (moments of anger, under the influence etc. But he is seriously funny! I love Kevin Heart too! And Kathleen Madigan oh she makes me laugh!!!

jensavicci · March 2014

Nichole8787 said:

jensavicci said:

Nichole8787 said:
@abchittam I don't know if you like Katt Williams but he is my favorite comedian! Please click this and laugh.
I love katt Williams! I'm not crazy about everything he says or does but he has me rolling in my own tears at the end of a show. Him and Kevin hart. Hands down.

I feel the same way...but honestly I don't know of one person that I agree with everything they say or do. Hell I don't even approve of everything I say or do sometimes (moments of anger, under the influence etc. But he is seriously funny! I love Kevin Heart too! And Kathleen Madigan oh she makes me laugh!!!
--------the quotes looked perfectly fine at first. Hmm-------

Haha yea I get that. I love her too! Sarcastic comedy is the best and I think she's great at that.

chevronseven · March 2014

Luckynumbers81 said:
First some background, I am having a RCS and my plan is to get out of the hospital as soon as it is safe to do so. I don't like being hooked up to lines, I can't sleep in hospitals and feel that I will recover much better at home.

DH informed me that it is customary for his commanding officer and other members of his flight to come and visit the hospital after a baby is born. I asked if they could wait a few days and come to the house instead, he said he wasn't sure but didn't think so.

My FFFC: I don't want those people coming to the hospital. MIL will already be here and that's enough, never mind people I have never met. I was a train wreck after DS was born and I'd prefer not to have an audience in case I start hemorrhaging like a rock star again.

Is your DH in the Air Force??? Mine is AFROTC and will commission next year! Also I'm totally with you, I would not want a bunch of strangers coming to visit me right after I give birth when I look and feel like crap. I don't care what their tradition is; you don't do anything that makes a brand new mommy uncomfortable for the sake of tradition! Of COURSE they could come to your house a little later on. If they refuse to and try to insist on the hospital visit, they're being assholes and you have every right to restrict visitation to your close family and friends.

chevronseven · March 2014

SuperTinkerham said:
I refuse to patronize chick FIL a bc I don't like their religiousity and treatment of gay people. Mister is attending a work event tomorrow where chickfil a is catering. I instructed him to steal as much chick FIL a sauce as possible for me. That shit is tasty. I'm a hypocrite

Totally do what you feel comfortable with, but if it makes you feel better about eating the sauce, I worked at CFA all through high school and college and the anti gay sentiment is definitely not expressed at the store level. I worked with plenty of lovely gay people who (to my knowledge) were never treated any differently. Also, I think they withdrew their funding to the anti gay organizations back when Dan Cathy made an ass of himself and voiced his bigot beliefs under the guise of religion. Oh, and the sauce doesn't make them any money because they won't charge for it even if you ask for a whole bag full of it.

Just for the record, I used to be of the same mindset that the company has expressed in the past, but in recent years have grown from tolerance to straight up support and respect for the gay community because I really don't think my God would condemn two people for loving each other. But I still eat CFA whenever I can; I swear their chicken is secretly laced with crack!

abchittam · March 2014

Nichole8787 said:
@abchittam I don't know if you like Katt Williams but he is my favorite comedian! Please click this and laugh.

Edit to include that I happen to not agree with putting children on leashes. I will never put my child on a leash but to each their own.

Thanks. I'll have to show that to DH. He loves stand up comedy. I pretty much have to be there to appreciate it, but I did get a good laugh at that.

lowerygirl · March 2014

livelaughlove88 said:

Luckynumbers81 said:
First some background, I am having a RCS and my plan is to get out of the hospital as soon as it is safe to do so. I don't like being hooked up to lines, I can't sleep in hospitals and feel that I will recover much better at home.

DH informed me that it is customary for his commanding officer and other members of his flight to come and visit the hospital after a baby is born. I asked if they could wait a few days and come to the house instead, he said he wasn't sure but didn't think so.

My FFFC: I don't want those people coming to the hospital. MIL will already be here and that's enough, never mind people I have never met. I was a train wreck after DS was born and I'd prefer not to have an audience in case I start hemorrhaging like a rock star again.
Is your DH in the Air Force??? Mine is AFROTC and will commission next year! Also I'm totally with you, I would not want a bunch of strangers coming to visit me right after I give birth when I look and feel like crap. I don't care what their tradition is; you don't do anything that makes a brand new mommy uncomfortable for the sake of tradition! Of COURSE they could come to your house a little later on. If they refuse to and try to insist on the hospital visit, they're being assholes and you have every right to restrict visitation to your close family and friends.

Ummm...I'm not sure if you know how the military life works, but you can't just tell your husband commander "no". I understand the part about privacy, but it's also the nature of the beast when marrying someone in the military. My husband is active duty Air Force for 12 years now and there is a lot I have had to learn to suck up...for my husband. A spouses actions and attitude greatly reflects on the husband and that is not something I would want to put my husband in the position of. I know it's not ideal, and like I said..I totally understand, but unfortunately there are times you have to suck it up- for your husband. It's just the military life. Chances are...they will respect your privacy and make sure everything is fine before they come over anyways.

tourqeyes · March 2014

SuperTinkerham said:
I refuse to patronize chick FIL a bc I don't like their religiousity and treatment of gay people. Mister is attending a work event tomorrow where chickfil a is catering. I instructed him to steal as much chick FIL a sauce as possible for me. That shit is tasty. I'm a hypocrite

Can you elaborate on "treatment of gay people"?

chevronseven · March 2014

lowerygirl said:

livelaughlove88 said:

Luckynumbers81 said:
First some background, I am having a RCS and my plan is to get out of the hospital as soon as it is safe to do so. I don't like being hooked up to lines, I can't sleep in hospitals and feel that I will recover much better at home.

DH informed me that it is customary for his commanding officer and other members of his flight to come and visit the hospital after a baby is born. I asked if they could wait a few days and come to the house instead, he said he wasn't sure but didn't think so.

My FFFC: I don't want those people coming to the hospital. MIL will already be here and that's enough, never mind people I have never met. I was a train wreck after DS was born and I'd prefer not to have an audience in case I start hemorrhaging like a rock star again.
Is your DH in the Air Force??? Mine is AFROTC and will commission next year! Also I'm totally with you, I would not want a bunch of strangers coming to visit me right after I give birth when I look and feel like crap. I don't care what their tradition is; you don't do anything that makes a brand new mommy uncomfortable for the sake of tradition! Of COURSE they could come to your house a little later on. If they refuse to and try to insist on the hospital visit, they're being assholes and you have every right to restrict visitation to your close family and friends.

Ummm...I'm not sure if you know how the military life works, but you can't just tell your husband commander "no". I understand the part about privacy, but it's also the nature of the beast when marrying someone in the military. My husband is active duty Air Force for 12 years now and there is a lot I have had to learn to suck up...for my husband. A spouses actions and attitude greatly reflects on the husband and that is not something I would want to put my husband in the position of. I know it's not ideal, and like I said..I totally understand, but unfortunately there are times you have to suck it up- for your husband. It's just the military life. Chances are...they will respect your privacy and make sure everything is fine before they come over anyways.

Well, no I don't know a lot about military life just yet since DH is still a Cadet in school, but I am fully prepared to make tons of sacrifices and be as supportive as I possibly can. However, in this particular situation, it is in no way work related for him. It's her that will be laying in a hospital bed recovering, and her that gets to make the call of who comes to visit her and when. Unless it's in a base hospital and there is something different about the way they operate? (Not trying to be a smartass, I honestly don't know if they do things differently.) But in regular hospitals I know it is against policy to let any non-approved visitors in. If they want to come hang out in the waiting room and congratulate her husband, maybe even have him bring the baby out, that's fine. But she shouldn't have to "suck it up" and entertain ANYONE when she's in the hospital recovering.

I always love meeting other AF families though! What does your DH do? Mine wants to be involved with Space Command. Where is your favorite place you've been stationed? I'm hoping for either Florida or California.

jamboree jess · March 2014

I missed Friday, but I need to confess that I'm about ready to strangle my mom.

This is more of a vent...

As soon as she found out I gas pregnant, she was very insistent that she throw my shower. That would be great, but she lives alone, doesn't drive, has very limited income on disability, and quite often "isn't all there." I accepted, out of fear of hurting her feelings, and because I know it meant a lot to her, since my MIL threw my bridal shower.

The big thing is, technically, my mom can't do anything. She didn't have a place to throw the shower, she has no was of getting out to get supplies or food, and she apparently also has no opinions of her own. Except for that she NEEDED to throw the shower. (By which she must have meant "pay for everything, while you do the work")

So, for the sake of my mom's remaining sanity, I have been putting in a ton of time and energy, throwing "etiquette" to the wind DIYing stuff for my own shower, and planning it, while she takes all the credit.

Though she had no ideas on her own (without calling me every few hours, for opinions and then calling me back the next day and telling me that it was "her idea") she won't accept help from anyone (but me). She was offended when my MIL offered up the church that had been used for my bridal shower for a venue. Even though she had no ideas on where to host it herself. She wanted to use my house, but no way am I dealing with around 60 women in my house.

She wanted to cater the entire shower (because she can't cook, and had no better ideas) even though we had a ton of family coming out of the woodwork saying that they'd make food to pass. She couldn't afford to cater it, but continuously called and yelled at me because it was "her shower" and she didn't want other people to help.

t,

lowerygirl · March 2014

livelaughlove88 said:

lowerygirl said:

livelaughlove88 said:

Luckynumbers81 said:
First some background, I am having a RCS and my plan is to get out of the hospital as soon as it is safe to do so. I don't like being hooked up to lines, I can't sleep in hospitals and feel that I will recover much better at home.

DH informed me that it is customary for his commanding officer and other members of his flight to come and visit the hospital after a baby is born. I asked if they could wait a few days and come to the house instead, he said he wasn't sure but didn't think so.

My FFFC: I don't want those people coming to the hospital. MIL will already be here and that's enough, never mind people I have never met. I was a train wreck after DS was born and I'd prefer not to have an audience in case I start hemorrhaging like a rock star again.
Is your DH in the Air Force??? Mine is AFROTC and will commission next year! Also I'm totally with you, I would not want a bunch of strangers coming to visit me right after I give birth when I look and feel like crap. I don't care what their tradition is; you don't do anything that makes a brand new mommy uncomfortable for the sake of tradition! Of COURSE they could come to your house a little later on. If they refuse to and try to insist on the hospital visit, they're being assholes and you have every right to restrict visitation to your close family and friends.

Ummm...I'm not sure if you know how the military life works, but you can't just tell your husband commander "no". I understand the part about privacy, but it's also the nature of the beast when marrying someone in the military. My husband is active duty Air Force for 12 years now and there is a lot I have had to learn to suck up...for my husband. A spouses actions and attitude greatly reflects on the husband and that is not something I would want to put my husband in the position of. I know it's not ideal, and like I said..I totally understand, but unfortunately there are times you have to suck it up- for your husband. It's just the military life. Chances are...they will respect your privacy and make sure everything is fine before they come over anyways.
Well, no I don't know a lot about military life just yet since DH is still a Cadet in school, but I am fully prepared to make tons of sacrifices and be as supportive as I possibly can. However, in this particular situation, it is in no way work related for him. It's her that will be laying in a hospital bed recovering, and her that gets to make the call of who comes to visit her and when. Unless it's in a base hospital and there is something different about the way they operate? (Not trying to be a smartass, I honestly don't know if they do things differently.) But in regular hospitals I know it is against policy to let any non-approved visitors in. If they want to come hang out in the waiting room and congratulate her husband, maybe even have him bring the baby out, that's fine. But she shouldn't have to "suck it up" and entertain ANYONE when she's in the hospital recovering.

I always love meeting other AF families though! What does your DH do? Mine wants to be involved with Space Command. Where is your favorite place you've been stationed? I'm hoping for either Florida or California.

My husband said they don't come to be entertained. They stop by to congratulate mom, baby, and dad, and let them know if they need anything to please ask. I don't know where she is delivering either...all I'm saying is that it reflects poorly on the active duty member when the spouse is acting that way. Also...when you are military, it doesn't matter if it is work related or not. Just about everything you (active duty person) do the military knows about. There is a lot you will learn about and your whole attitude will change. Like I said, it's not always ideal and it definitely sucks at times, but it's just the nature of the beast.
We have also been to Japan, Alaska, Germany, and currently are stationed in Virginia. We loved Germany. My husband works in Intelligence and his job is top secret so I am not even allowed to know what he does. It's interesting to say the least!

chevronseven · March 2014

lowerygirl said:

livelaughlove88 said:

lowerygirl said:

livelaughlove88 said:

Luckynumbers81 said:
First some background, I am having a RCS and my plan is to get out of the hospital as soon as it is safe to do so. I don't like being hooked up to lines, I can't sleep in hospitals and feel that I will recover much better at home.

DH informed me that it is customary for his commanding officer and other members of his flight to come and visit the hospital after a baby is born. I asked if they could wait a few days and come to the house instead, he said he wasn't sure but didn't think so.

My FFFC: I don't want those people coming to the hospital. MIL will already be here and that's enough, never mind people I have never met. I was a train wreck after DS was born and I'd prefer not to have an audience in case I start hemorrhaging like a rock star again.
Is your DH in the Air Force??? Mine is AFROTC and will commission next year! Also I'm totally with you, I would not want a bunch of strangers coming to visit me right after I give birth when I look and feel like crap. I don't care what their tradition is; you don't do anything that makes a brand new mommy uncomfortable for the sake of tradition! Of COURSE they could come to your house a little later on. If they refuse to and try to insist on the hospital visit, they're being assholes and you have every right to restrict visitation to your close family and friends.

Ummm...I'm not sure if you know how the military life works, but you can't just tell your husband commander "no". I understand the part about privacy, but it's also the nature of the beast when marrying someone in the military. My husband is active duty Air Force for 12 years now and there is a lot I have had to learn to suck up...for my husband. A spouses actions and attitude greatly reflects on the husband and that is not something I would want to put my husband in the position of. I know it's not ideal, and like I said..I totally understand, but unfortunately there are times you have to suck it up- for your husband. It's just the military life. Chances are...they will respect your privacy and make sure everything is fine before they come over anyways.
Well, no I don't know a lot about military life just yet since DH is still a Cadet in school, but I am fully prepared to make tons of sacrifices and be as supportive as I possibly can. However, in this particular situation, it is in no way work related for him. It's her that will be laying in a hospital bed recovering, and her that gets to make the call of who comes to visit her and when. Unless it's in a base hospital and there is something different about the way they operate? (Not trying to be a smartass, I honestly don't know if they do things differently.) But in regular hospitals I know it is against policy to let any non-approved visitors in. If they want to come hang out in the waiting room and congratulate her husband, maybe even have him bring the baby out, that's fine. But she shouldn't have to "suck it up" and entertain ANYONE when she's in the hospital recovering.

I always love meeting other AF families though! What does your DH do? Mine wants to be involved with Space Command. Where is your favorite place you've been stationed? I'm hoping for either Florida or California.
My husband said they don't come to be entertained. They stop by to congratulate mom, baby, and dad, and let them know if they need anything to please ask. I don't know where she is delivering either...all I'm saying is that it reflects poorly on the active duty member when the spouse is acting that way. Also...when you are military, it doesn't matter if it is work related or not. Just about everything you (active duty person) do the military knows about. There is a lot you will learn about and your whole attitude will change. Like I said, it's not always ideal and it definitely sucks at times, but it's just the nature of the beast.
We have also been to Japan, Alaska, Germany, and currently are stationed in Virginia. We loved Germany. My husband works in Intelligence and his job is top secret so I am not even allowed to know what he does. It's interesting to say the least!

Maaaaaan that would kill me, not knowing! My former boss is married to a former special ops Army soldier. He would get deployed at a moment's notice and she would have no idea where he was or when he was coming home, and no way to communicate at all. Couldn't even write letters since she wouldn't know where to send them! She said sometimes she would just wake up one morning and there he was in bed after several months away!

lowerygirl · March 2014

I wanted to add...I'm not trying to pick an argument or say she doesn't have a right to her privacy, because she does. I just wanted to explain how I have seen it work in the 12 years my husband has been in. It's really not as bad as it's sometimes thought to be. They are literally there for no more than 5 mins. It's their job to take care of the active duty member and spouse and give help where it's needed. If they are treated poorly when they are just trying to congratulate you for the birth of a baby, then why would they want to take care of you throughout a deployment? Something to think about...

chevronseven · March 2014

lowerygirl said:
I wanted to add...I'm not trying to pick an argument or say she doesn't have a right to her privacy, because she does. I just wanted to explain how I have seen it work in the 12 years my husband has been in. It's really not as bad as it's sometimes thought to be. They are literally there for no more than 5 mins. It's their job to take care of the active duty member and spouse and give help where it's needed. If they are treated poorly when they are just trying to congratulate you for the birth of a baby, then why would they want to take care of you throughout a deployment? Something to think about...

Good point. I guess if it's just a 5 minute drop by it's not a big deal.

TallMomma29 · March 2014

livelaughlove88 said:

I wanted to add...I'm not trying to pick an argument or say she doesn't have a right to her privacy, because she does. I just wanted to explain how I have seen it work in the 12 years my husband has been in. It's really not as bad as it's sometimes thought to be. They are literally there for no more than 5 mins. It's their job to take care of the active duty member and spouse and give help where it's needed. If they are treated poorly when they are just trying to congratulate you for the birth of a baby, then why would they want to take care of you throughout a deployment? Something to think about...
Good point. I guess if it's just a 5 minute drop by it's not a big deal.

I am pretty new to the whole military spouse business, and I've never heard of this coming to visit in the hospital thing. If my husband IS a commander, does that mean I get a free pass on the whole coworkers coming to visit me in the hospital thing?

SuperTinkerham · March 2014

jamboree jess said:

I missed Friday, but I need to confess that I'm about ready to strangle my mom.

This is more of a vent...

As soon as she found out I gas pregnant, she was very insistent that she throw my shower. That would be great, but she lives alone, doesn't drive, has very limited income on disability, and quite often "isn't all there." I accepted, out of fear of hurting her feelings, and because I know it meant a lot to her, since my MIL threw my bridal shower.

The big thing is, technically, my mom can't do anything. She didn't have a place to throw the shower, she has no was of getting out to get supplies or food, and she apparently also has no opinions of her own. Except for that she NEEDED to throw the shower. (By which she must have meant "pay for everything, while you do the work")

So, for the sake of my mom's remaining sanity, I have been putting in a ton of time and energy, throwing "etiquette" to the wind DIYing stuff for my own shower, and planning it, while she takes all the credit.

Though she had no ideas on her own (without calling me every few hours, for opinions and then calling me back the next day and telling me that it was "her idea") she won't accept help from anyone (but me). She was offended when my MIL offered up the church that had been used for my bridal shower for a venue. Even though she had no ideas on where to host it herself. She wanted to use my house, but no way am I dealing with around 60 women in my house.

She wanted to cater the entire shower (because she can't cook, and had no better ideas) even though we had a ton of family coming out of the woodwork saying that they'd make food to pass. She couldn't afford to cater it, but continuously called and yelled at me because it was "her shower" and she didn't want other people to help.

t,

Hugs to you. I would be frustrated.

Tbags83 · March 2014

I'm active duty military and work in a military hospital. Usually commanders are respectful of staff and patient wishes, UNLESS you landed yourself in the hospital after a rule violation or doing something stupid; then all bets are off.

AMcLaws · March 2014

lowerygirl said:

livelaughlove88 said:

lowerygirl said:

livelaughlove88 said:

Luckynumbers81 said:
First some background, I am having a RCS and my plan is to get out of the hospital as soon as it is safe to do so. I don't like being hooked up to lines, I can't sleep in hospitals and feel that I will recover much better at home.

DH informed me that it is customary for his commanding officer and other members of his flight to come and visit the hospital after a baby is born. I asked if they could wait a few days and come to the house instead, he said he wasn't sure but didn't think so.

My FFFC: I don't want those people coming to the hospital. MIL will already be here and that's enough, never mind people I have never met. I was a train wreck after DS was born and I'd prefer not to have an audience in case I start hemorrhaging like a rock star again.
Is your DH in the Air Force??? Mine is AFROTC and will commission next year! Also I'm totally with you, I would not want a bunch of strangers coming to visit me right after I give birth when I look and feel like crap. I don't care what their tradition is; you don't do anything that makes a brand new mommy uncomfortable for the sake of tradition! Of COURSE they could come to your house a little later on. If they refuse to and try to insist on the hospital visit, they're being assholes and you have every right to restrict visitation to your close family and friends.

Ummm...I'm not sure if you know how the military life works, but you can't just tell your husband commander "no". I understand the part about privacy, but it's also the nature of the beast when marrying someone in the military. My husband is active duty Air Force for 12 years now and there is a lot I have had to learn to suck up...for my husband. A spouses actions and attitude greatly reflects on the husband and that is not something I would want to put my husband in the position of. I know it's not ideal, and like I said..I totally understand, but unfortunately there are times you have to suck it up- for your husband. It's just the military life. Chances are...they will respect your privacy and make sure everything is fine before they come over anyways.
Well, no I don't know a lot about military life just yet since DH is still a Cadet in school, but I am fully prepared to make tons of sacrifices and be as supportive as I possibly can. However, in this particular situation, it is in no way work related for him. It's her that will be laying in a hospital bed recovering, and her that gets to make the call of who comes to visit her and when. Unless it's in a base hospital and there is something different about the way they operate? (Not trying to be a smartass, I honestly don't know if they do things differently.) But in regular hospitals I know it is against policy to let any non-approved visitors in. If they want to come hang out in the waiting room and congratulate her husband, maybe even have him bring the baby out, that's fine. But she shouldn't have to "suck it up" and entertain ANYONE when she's in the hospital recovering.

I always love meeting other AF families though! What does your DH do? Mine wants to be involved with Space Command. Where is your favorite place you've been stationed? I'm hoping for either Florida or California.
My husband said they don't come to be entertained. They stop by to congratulate mom, baby, and dad, and let them know if they need anything to please ask. I don't know where she is delivering either...all I'm saying is that it reflects poorly on the active duty member when the spouse is acting that way. Also...when you are military, it doesn't matter if it is work related or not. Just about everything you (active duty person) do the military knows about. There is a lot you will learn about and your whole attitude will change. Like I said, it's not always ideal and it definitely sucks at times, but it's just the nature of the beast.
We have also been to Japan, Alaska, Germany, and currently are stationed in Virginia. We loved Germany. My husband works in Intelligence and his job is top secret so I am not even allowed to know what he does. It's interesting to say the least!

My dad was in the Coast Guard, and there are pictures in my baby book of his commanding officer, my dad and me. I think it's just the way things are done? Or maybe his CO was just really nice. I really don't know

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