That One Gal From Alaska

pistolpackinmomma · March 2014

@Katemr1146‌ I fully look forward to your realizing how hard it really is to be responsible for a kid all day long. And when they hit toddler age, it gets super fun. Tantrums over anything, everything, and sometimes nothing. Breaks are a godsend. The amount of break that someone needs varies from person to person.

Katemr1146 · March 2014

pistolpackinmomma said:
@Katemr1146‌ I fully look forward to your realizing how hard it really is to be responsible for a kid all day long. And when they hit toddler age, it gets super fun. Tantrums over anything, everything, and sometimes nothing. Breaks are a godsend. The amount of break that someone needs varies from person to person.

I never said no one deserves a break. I sure as hell will! I just think that 5 days a week is excessive and gone beyond just a break. I think she either needs to get the part time job she complains about or own the fact that she really just likes being a mostly SAHW with a lot of hired help.

mileswithmyles · March 2014

kitchencolors said:

gertiebarden said:

Re judging SAHMs: All I know about SAHMs is that I would make a terrible one. I love my kids, but I would suck at being the sole provider 24/7. So I try not to judge the people who do it, because regardless of how they get it done, they're all doing something that I can't do, and I respect that.

I would be a miserable person and a horrible mother if I had to be the sole care provider for my kid(s) 24/7. I would be horrible at that. Being a SAHM doesn't (or shouldn't, IMO) mean you're the sole provider 24/7. I think that's the point of this whole conversation.... that everyone needs breaks from their children, whether they work at home, work outside the home or don't have a paying job.

Word.

awc1986 · March 2014

I think there's a difference between a SAHM having a well earned break from her children by putting them in day care and letting them develop social skills, and just Kim Kardashian-ing it. But, different strokes for different folks.

pandadair · March 2014

kitchencolors said:

awc1986 said:

I think there's a difference between a SAHM having a well earned break from her children by putting them in day care and letting them develop social skills, and just Kim Kardashian-ing it. But, different strokes for different folks.

Doesn't she have a pretty involved career though? I mean she's freaking brand all by herself.

In any case, why the judgement? Who cares how she raises her family? I stand by the fact that I don't get why it matters to any of you how many hours how many days a week a mom must spend with her children in order to make her not lazy or make her decision to have children be okay. God forbid we even discuss fathers being involved...

I was about to say... Dear God, I can't believe I'm going to defend Kim Kardashian. I think she's a pretty big waste of space, but I also think she's probably pretty busy working hard to maintain that space she's wasting.

ETA: Don't you know that dads are held to completely different standards? Come home from work and/or taking care of the kids all day, make dinner AND get the kids ready for bed? Father of the Year. Gold star. Mom comes home from work and/or taking care of the kids all day, makes dinner AND gets the kids ready for bed? Well of course, that's her job.

It's like one of my old co-workers, who is an awesome dad and guy, in general. He left an hr early on Tues/Thurs to coach his daughter's soccer team. Everyone thought it was adorable. My woman co-worker needs to work from home for a day, so that she can attend middle-of-the-afternoon teacher conferences? Everybody clutch their pearls. Someone's priorities aren't straight.

awc1986 · March 2014

pandadair said:

kitchencolors said:

awc1986 said:

I think there's a difference between a SAHM having a well earned break from her children by putting them in day care and letting them develop social skills, and just Kim Kardashian-ing it. But, different strokes for different folks.

Doesn't she have a pretty involved career though? I mean she's freaking brand all by herself.

In any case, why the judgement? Who cares how she raises her family? I stand by the fact that I don't get why it matters to any of you how many hours how many days a week a mom must spend with her children in order to make her not lazy or make her decision to have children be okay. God forbid we even discuss fathers being involved...

I was about to say... Dear God, I can't believe I'm going to defend Kim Kardashian. I think she's a pretty big waste of space, but I also think she's probably pretty busy working hard to maintain that space she's wasting.

LOL!

Ok I shouldn't have singled out Kim K. She's doing a great job of being absolutely pointless.

I mean the people who have children and flat refuse to lift a finger to care for them. The area where I work is a bit like that. It's English old-money. Baby is born and given to a nanny, wet-nursed and generally raised by the nanny. The relationship between mother and child is formal. Then they're packed off to boarding school until they're pretty much adults. It's very Victorian.

Like I say, it different strokes for different folks. What works for some doesn't work for others. I think daycare is a great thing though. SIL sends her son to daycare 5 mornings a week. It means she can get the house clean and do some laundry without him snapping at her heels constantly. He learns and makes friends and she has a nice house. Win win.

pandadair · March 2014

awc1986 said:

pandadair said:

I was about to say... Dear God, I can't believe I'm going to defend Kim Kardashian. I think she's a pretty big waste of space, but I also think she's probably pretty busy working hard to maintain that space she's wasting.

LOL!
Ok I shouldn't have singled out Kim K. She's doing a great job of being absolutely pointless.
I mean the people who have children and flat refuse to lift a finger to care for them. The area where I work is a bit like that. It's English old-money. Baby is born and given to a nanny, wet-nursed and generally raised by the nanny. The relationship between mother and child is formal. Then they're packed off to boarding school until they're pretty much adults. It's very Victorian.
Like I say, it different strokes for different folks. What works for some doesn't work for others. I think daycare is a great thing though. SIL sends her son to daycare 5 mornings a week. It means she can get the house clean and do some laundry without him snapping at her heels constantly. He learns and makes friends and she has a nice house. Win win.

Man, I'm so tired at this point that that second paragraph is sounding pretty good to me. Like, wake me up when he's 25 and someone else has formed him into a functional, respectable adult. I can still take credit for the genes.

Jennyinheaven · March 2014

awc1986 said:
I think there's a difference between a SAHM having a well earned break from her children by putting them in day care and letting them develop social skills, and just Kim Kardashian-ing it. But, different strokes for different folks.

Exactly!

jenb_99 · March 2014

I'm too lazy to catch up on the thread, but has anyone posted this yet in response to the terrible mom UOs? Heh. It's pretty freaking awesome.

https://nypost.com/2014/03/27/a-working-moms-open-letter-to-gwyneth-paltrow/

awc1986 · March 2014

jenb_99 said:

I'm too lazy to catch up on the thread, but has anyone posted this yet in response to the terrible mom UOs? Heh. It's pretty freaking awesome.

https://nypost.com/2014/03/27/a-working-moms-open-letter-to-gwyneth-paltrow/

Funny. I was just thinking to myself how much i hate Gwyneth Paltrow. I didn't think it was humanly possible to be so out of touch with reality.

NorthernGal248 · March 2014

Why does everyone hate Gwnyth Paltrow?

^^ not my UO... just curious

ETA - just read the article so I understand now. However, I've never met the woman... can't say I hate her.

awc1986 · March 2014

NorthernGal248 said:

Why does everyone hate Gwnyth Paltrow?

^^ not my UO... just curious

- She lives a charmed life as a movie star who was privileged growing up, but says that she has a harder life than parents who work 9-5.

- She released a cook book where the average price of a meal is more than most people spend on groceries in a week and you can only get many of the ingredients in specialist high end food stores.

- On her website, she promotes clothing that costs several hundred or several thousand dollars and acts like regular Joes can afford it.

- She seems to think that all of the above reflect how "down to earth" and "normal" she is. She doesn't seem to understand what a privileged life she leads.

- She used the phrase "conscious uncoupling" instead of divorce.

spacepotatoes · March 2014

@NorthernGal248 All of the above, plus she's a pretentious douche.

Oh, and she also advocates a fitness regimen that is pretty unrealistic for the average person and (just in my own opinion), not totally healthy.

NorthernGal248 · March 2014

@spacepotatoes and @awc1986 Ah makes sense - I guess it's a good thing I don't fallow.. she would probably make me blood boil!

Mimaloo · March 2014

IBackBevo said:

For those of you who can't wait 30 minutes on your doctor, have you ever thought about looking for a new doctor if it happens every single visit? Seems like a pretty easy solution.

I think most people are talking about their OBs being late which yes, shit happens. I waited a full hour at my last appointment but normally I don't wait more than 10-15 minutes so I really wasn't upset about it.

However, my issue is when an office double and/or triple books appointment times (e.g. the dermatologist) and you wait (no exaggeration) 2 hours. Everyone in the waiting room (I even did myself once) complains to the receptionist and their response was "the insurance company makes us book like this". I dealt with this three visits before switching to a new office and guess what? Same.Exact.Thing happened. And the receptionist had the same response. Switched to derm. #3 - same thing.

My list of regular doctors includes: dentist, GP, RE, OB, endocrinologist, and allergist and NONE of them do what all three dermatologists have done. I no longer bother with the dermatologist because of it. Can't be bothered to try for #4. That's rude and really freaking obnoxious.

awc1986 · March 2014

@NorthernGal248 - She runs a website called goop.com. Check out the "shop" section. Unfortunately they've sold out of the $120 children's school diary.

Mimaloo · March 2014

Mamazon2014 said:

laurblum said:

My UO is that I don't think a little TV here and there is gonna ruin my child forever. Plus I like Disney movies and snuggles. So, I will selfishly take my new little movie buddy and have movies in bed nights.

DH and I plan on having a weekly movie night. So far i am incredibly excited to eventually introduce my child to Labyrinth and Goonies

OMG I love this movie. And same here. I can't wait to watch my favorite childhood movies with DD - Labyrinth, Neverending Story and Gone With the Wind (yup - it's been a fave since I can remember - it was those dresses!) to name a few

IBackBevo · March 2014

I am majorly side eyeing how all of these ftms who don't even have a single kid yet are judging their friends--many of whom appear to have multiple young children. I think many of you are going to have very rude awakenings soon. I will also tell you that I cannot fathom that most jobs (and I had some hard, stressful ones) even touch caring for multiple young kids full-time. I would never, ever begrudge a woman with 2 or 3 young kids having help or putting them in daycare part of a day. In fact, I don't know how anyone would maintain their sanity if they had 2 or 3 under 5 or 6 without help either in the form of a nanny or daycare. It truly saddens me that the job of caring for kids/being a SAHM is so undervalued and that people see it as a weakness that these women get some much needed help. I think it is a real injustice.

I also agree with @kitchencolors on the part about 4 pm to bed time being the hardest part of the day ×10.

NorthernGal248 · March 2014

awc1986 said:

@NorthernGal248 - She runs a website called goop.com. Check out the "shop" section. Unfortunately they've sold out of the $120 children's school diary.

Very sadly, lol. It seems like she is trying to go the route that Victoria Beckham took.

spacepotatoes · March 2014

NorthernGal248 said:

awc1986 said:

@NorthernGal248 - She runs a website called goop.com. Check out the "shop" section. Unfortunately they've sold out of the $120 children's school diary.
Very sadly, lol. It seems like she is trying to go the route that Victoria Beckham took.

VB isn't into the whole lifestyle thing, though, just fashion. And she's damn good at it. I really enjoy reading and watching her interviews because she actually does have a great personality, even though you'd never know it from seeing her in photos. Gwyneth...not so much.

NorthernGal248 · March 2014

spacepotatoes said:

NorthernGal248 said:

awc1986 said:

@NorthernGal248 - She runs a website called goop.com. Check out the "shop" section. Unfortunately they've sold out of the $120 children's school diary.
Very sadly, lol. It seems like she is trying to go the route that Victoria Beckham took.
VB isn't into the whole lifestyle thing, though, just fashion. And she's damn good at it. I really enjoy reading and watching her interviews because she actually does have a great personality, even though you'd never know it from seeing her in photos. Gwyneth...not so much.

I agree about VB being a lot better

ThereBeDragons · March 2014

To be fair, not all of the FTMs are being judgy. I did 9am -9pm once a week with my triplet nephews from newborn to 3 and it really opened my eyes to how much work kids are and how much I valued being able to go home at the end of the day without kids. LOVE my nephews to pieces but they were a true handful. I'm looking forward to having my one- but I know it's not going to be candy and roses.

IBackBevo · March 2014

ThereBeDragons said:
To be fair, not all of the FTMs are being judgy. I did 9am -9pm once a week with my triplet nephews from newborn to 3 and it really opened my eyes to how much work kids are and how much I valued being able to go home at the end of the day without kids. LOVE my nephews to pieces but they were a true handful. I'm looking forward to having my one- but I know it's not going to be candy and roses.

I didn't literally mean all of the ftms. I meant all of the ftms being judgy on this thread.

Katemr1146 · March 2014

Go ahead and side eye me all you want. You side eye me for being judgy, and I'll eye roll back atcha STMs for being high and mighty.
We're not all going to agree on everything.

TheBeeCharmer · March 2014

IBackBevo said:

Rocknroll64 said:

Also this is more of a vent than a UO but is it that hard for a doctor to be on time? Is it just they think we all have nothing better to do than sit in their stupid waiting room for 30-45mins. I can't imagine scheduling a client meeting and making the client wait there for that long. I find it extremely unprofessional and frankly, annoying as hell. If you're constantly running late then maybe it's time to rethink how much time you've allocated to appointment slots. Punctuality should be taught in medical school. It's just fucking common courtesy!

It is actually a lot harder than you think. All it takes is one emergency or one patient or one phone call to take longer than they should. Even one patient needing to be admitted to the hospital can push you back 30+ minutes. And OB's notoriously have these situations come up..and frequently. Or they may have an emergency c-section. Or maybe they are working a patient in with an emergency... When I had severe pre-e and IUGR, I got worked in on many occasions.

Plus, sometimes you can blame other patients not showing up on time for causing them to run late. It is almost comical the number of patients my DH regularly has that stroll in an hour late or more for their appointment. And, believe it or not, these people expect to be seen...sometimes he can work them in and sometimes he can't.

Now I do agree that they should give you an opportunity to reschedule if they are running really behind - i.e. an hour or more. I had to sit in my pedi's office last week for 2+ hours and was told at the outset that it would only be a 15 minute wait. But 30 minutes? Come on. I regularly wait that long (or longer) at a restaurant for a table on a Friday night.

Also, believe it or not, but with the very low rates of reimbursement by insurance companies, doctors can not afford to only schedule 2 patients an hour or put extra padding in every hour or every couple of hours because then they basically won't be making a living. Plus, they also have to account for "no shows." You would be shocked at how many people just don't show up for appointments with no call to cancel or anything.

These are all things that doctors have to balance and it isn't as
easy as you would think. You may be balancing a few appointments a
day, but they are balancing 30-50 along with deliveries, surgeries, emergencies, RX refills and 100-200 phone calls or more a day of people
calling in and needing things...and, of course, every person thinks their medical situation is of the utmost
importance and dire. I honestly am shocked that they don't run even further behind most of the time...

Hear, hear! My husband wishes he had the type of job that he could be on time for. And leave within hours of when he's supposed to. I can wait an extra half an hour, thank you very much!

MamaismyJOB · March 2014

TheBeeCharmer said:

IBackBevo said:

Rocknroll64 said:

Also this is more of a vent than a UO but is it that hard for a doctor to be on time? Is it just they think we all have nothing better to do than sit in their stupid waiting room for 30-45mins. I can't imagine scheduling a client meeting and making the client wait there for that long. I find it extremely unprofessional and frankly, annoying as hell. If you're constantly running late then maybe it's time to rethink how much time you've allocated to appointment slots. Punctuality should be taught in medical school. It's just fucking common courtesy!

It is actually a lot harder than you think. All it takes is one emergency or one patient or one phone call to take longer than they should. Even one patient needing to be admitted to the hospital can push you back 30+ minutes. And OB's notoriously have these situations come up..and frequently. Or they may have an emergency c-section. Or maybe they are working a patient in with an emergency... When I had severe pre-e and IUGR, I got worked in on many occasions.

Plus, sometimes you can blame other patients not showing up on time for causing them to run late. It is almost comical the number of patients my DH regularly has that stroll in an hour late or more for their appointment. And, believe it or not, these people expect to be seen...sometimes he can work them in and sometimes he can't.

Now I do agree that they should give you an opportunity to reschedule if they are running really behind - i.e. an hour or more. I had to sit in my pedi's office last week for 2+ hours and was told at the outset that it would only be a 15 minute wait. But 30 minutes? Come on. I regularly wait that long (or longer) at a restaurant for a table on a Friday night.

Also, believe it or not, but with the very low rates of reimbursement by insurance companies, doctors can not afford to only schedule 2 patients an hour or put extra padding in every hour or every couple of hours because then they basically won't be making a living. Plus, they also have to account for "no shows." You would be shocked at how many people just don't show up for appointments with no call to cancel or anything.

These are all things that doctors have to balance and it isn't as
easy as you would think. You may be balancing a few appointments a
day, but they are balancing 30-50 along with deliveries, surgeries, emergencies, RX refills and 100-200 phone calls or more a day of people
calling in and needing things...and, of course, every person thinks their medical situation is of the utmost
importance and dire. I honestly am shocked that they don't run even further behind most of the time...

Hear, hear! My husband wishes he had the type of job that he could be on time for. And leave within hours of when he's supposed to. I can wait an extra half an hour, thank you very much!

--------------
Playing devils advocate: I wish I could consistently show up late for appointments, meetings and other job required activities and it have no effect on my job security.

TheBeeCharmer · March 2014

MamaismyJOB said:

TheBeeCharmer said:

IBackBevo said:

Rocknroll64 said:

Also this is more of a vent than a UO but is it that hard for a doctor to be on time? Is it just they think we all have nothing better to do than sit in their stupid waiting room for 30-45mins. I can't imagine scheduling a client meeting and making the client wait there for that long. I find it extremely unprofessional and frankly, annoying as hell. If you're constantly running late then maybe it's time to rethink how much time you've allocated to appointment slots. Punctuality should be taught in medical school. It's just fucking common courtesy!

It is actually a lot harder than you think. All it takes is one emergency or one patient or one phone call to take longer than they should. Even one patient needing to be admitted to the hospital can push you back 30+ minutes. And OB's notoriously have these situations come up..and frequently. Or they may have an emergency c-section. Or maybe they are working a patient in with an emergency... When I had severe pre-e and IUGR, I got worked in on many occasions.

Plus, sometimes you can blame other patients not showing up on time for causing them to run late. It is almost comical the number of patients my DH regularly has that stroll in an hour late or more for their appointment. And, believe it or not, these people expect to be seen...sometimes he can work them in and sometimes he can't.

Now I do agree that they should give you an opportunity to reschedule if they are running really behind - i.e. an hour or more. I had to sit in my pedi's office last week for 2+ hours and was told at the outset that it would only be a 15 minute wait. But 30 minutes? Come on. I regularly wait that long (or longer) at a restaurant for a table on a Friday night.

Also, believe it or not, but with the very low rates of reimbursement by insurance companies, doctors can not afford to only schedule 2 patients an hour or put extra padding in every hour or every couple of hours because then they basically won't be making a living. Plus, they also have to account for "no shows." You would be shocked at how many people just don't show up for appointments with no call to cancel or anything.

These are all things that doctors have to balance and it isn't as
easy as you would think. You may be balancing a few appointments a
day, but they are balancing 30-50 along with deliveries, surgeries, emergencies, RX refills and 100-200 phone calls or more a day of people
calling in and needing things...and, of course, every person thinks their medical situation is of the utmost
importance and dire. I honestly am shocked that they don't run even further behind most of the time...
Hear, hear! My husband wishes he had the type of job that he could be on time for. And leave within hours of when he's supposed to. I can wait an extra half an hour, thank you very much!

--------------
Playing devils advocate: I wish I could
consistently show up late for appointments, meetings and other job required activities and it have no effect on my job security.

Well when my husband is late, it's because he's got someone opened up and saving their life, or explaining to their family that they'll never see their loved one again etc. There's not many jobs you can compare it to.

Katemr1146 · March 2014

I wasn't speaking about you. Just the general attitude on the boards that FTMs are idiots and STMs are experts on everything.

I never said anything about whether or not she spent enough time with her kids. All I said was that I don't want to hear about her missing her part time job, when she seems to have plenty of time to fit one in. If she wants to have a live-in 24/7 nanny, I couldn't care less...but then don't come to me whining about how hard it is to be a SAHM. I judge her because she makes herself out to be a martyr, but she has childcare 5 times a week and spends her time shopping. Maybe I'm just jealous and wish I could have that much time to shop.

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