Men- I know you've had enough women lurking on your board. But seriously, why not just say "hey, lets have sex." or "everything's quiet, lets make some noise". My hubby says that, and he gets it. He's good most of the time, an ass quite a bit as well. But if your good to your wife, and you don't suck in bed. Just throw it out there. You'd be surprised at what persistence gets you.
Men- I know you've had enough women lurking on your board. But seriously, why not just say "hey, lets have sex." or "everything's quiet, lets make some noise". My hubby says that, and he gets it. He's good most of the time, an ass quite a bit as well. But if your good to your wife, and you don't suck in bed. Just throw it out there. You'd be surprised at what persistence gets you.
I think most of us do just ask. I get laid all the time by initiating. So do most of us. Try reading the thread again. Especially the OP.
I ask if it has been a while and I usually get it either that day or within a few days. We are trying to conceive again so during a week plus long window I can get it usually every other day.
I will admit, it is had to make time for it. We realize that and we try to remind each other that even though we may be tired at that moment, all it takes is a couple of massages and we are good to go.
If we get in a rut, and stop being intimate for a couple of weeks, it gets really, really nasty in our house.
As a lady over here lurking, I want to point out that your wedding night isn't a guarantee. By the time going home happened on our wedding night, we were so exhausted it wasn't happening.
yeah - this was us as well. By the time we even got near a bed we had both been going strong for 20 hours. I couldnt even get out of my tux, let alone into my wife.
Sounds like a lot of guys can expect sex just by asking for it.
A lot of girls expect sex just by asking for it too.
Our wedding night ended up with my husband getting me out of my clothes (because he's the responsible one) and sharing a microwaved cheeseburger at 3am in our jacuzzi tub. No sex involved.
Our honeymoon resulted in my reason for being on The Bump...
I had honestly never heard of a "wife's day" before in my life... honestly though, if my husband was like, "I just snowplowed the driveway, according to my list, that means I deserve to "plow" you", I would probably pee my pants from laughing so hard...
ETA: Sorry, I guess it's snow*blowing* but that makes the line suck.
Sounds like a lot of guys can expect sex just by asking for it.
A lot of girls expect sex just by asking for it too.
Our wedding night ended up with my husband getting me out of my clothes (because he's the responsible one) and sharing a microwaved cheeseburger at 3am in our jacuzzi tub. No sex involved.
Our honeymoon resulted in my reason for being on The Bump...
I had honestly never heard of a "wife's day" before in my life... honestly though, if my husband was like, "I just snowplowed the driveway, according to my list, that means I deserve to "plow" you", I would probably pee my pants from laughing so hard...
ETA: Sorry, I guess it's snow*blowing* but that makes the line suck.
How far into the pregnancy did you guys stop having sex? As you know now we are at 35 wks with twins and the mrs took it off the table about 3 weeks ago which makes complete sense. How long will it be until I get laid again? We should set up a survey...
Another first trimester lurker, but does your wife have any medical conditions that dampen her sex drive? When mine took a turn (along with some other indicators) it was discovered I have hypothyroidism.
If this isn't the case (and I hope for her sake it's not) have you tried "experimenting" with toys, lubes, location, or even the time of day? I inferred you have a LO so I know that may make things more difficult, but it could be that it's the same ol' same ol' and she needs some spice. DH and I found we were "in a rut" (not the deer kind) for a while and changing a few things up has really helped improve that aspect of our relationship.
As far as your list goes every relationship/situation is different but from my POV as a lady, I "expect" it on these days as well.
My wife suffers from hypo as well. When her sex drive is not where it normally is, she always knows that might be a time to draw some blood and see if med dosage needs to change. My first thought when husbands start bitching about wives low sex drive is thyroid issue.
Or a medication issue. So many people are on everyday scrips for this or that. When I first took lexapro ages ago my doc said it shouldnt affect my sex drive. HA! I didn't want to be looked at, much less touched. They are more aware/ better about telling you these things now, but I'm sure there are still cases where people just don't realize that's what is causing it.
Makes it suck alright!!!!
How far into the pregnancy did you guys stop having sex? As you know now we are at 35 wks with twins and the mrs took it off the table about 3 weeks ago which makes complete sense. How long will it be until I get laid again? We should set up a survey...
Well, you're not really supposed to do anything until after your wife's 6-week post pregnant (whatever it's called) appointment. So most likely 7-8+ weeks after she pops them out. And that's if you guys have the energy, time, and opportunity.
Makes it suck alright!!!! How far into the pregnancy did you guys stop having sex? As you know now we are at 35 wks with twins and the mrs took it off the table about 3 weeks ago which makes complete sense. How long will it be until I get laid again? We should set up a survey...
Well, you're not really supposed to do anything until after your wife's 6-week post pregnant (whatever it's called) appointment. So most likely 7-8+ weeks after she pops them out. And that's if you guys have the energy, time, and opportunity.
It will be some time before you get laid. The good news is you will be too tired to care. I know that sounds odd right now, but seriously, you will both be too tired to care about sex for some time. Yes, you will entertain the idea in your mind, but, yawn..........
Makes it suck alright!!!!
How far into the pregnancy did you guys stop having sex? As you know now we are at 35 wks with twins and the mrs took it off the table about 3 weeks ago which makes complete sense. How long will it be until I get laid again? We should set up a survey...
@gonnabeadad We have sex more regularly since my son was born. My LO is 5 months now. My DH is such a wonderful dad and has been an extra great husband that I want to do it for his sake. I don't enjoy it - I'm too dry from breastfeeding and DH is too clumsy with foreplay for me to get any enjoyment. But what surprised me is the satisfaction I feel from making him happy. And I look forward to that instead of my own gratification.
Another first trimester lurker, but does your wife have any medical conditions that dampen her sex drive? When mine took a turn (along with some other indicators) it was discovered I have hypothyroidism.
If this isn't the case (and I hope for her sake it's not) have you tried "experimenting" with toys, lubes, location, or even the time of day? I inferred you have a LO so I know that may make things more difficult, but it could be that it's the same ol' same ol' and she needs some spice. DH and I found we were "in a rut" (not the deer kind) for a while and changing a few things up has really helped improve that aspect of our relationship.
As far as your list goes every relationship/situation is different but from my POV as a lady, I "expect" it on these days as well.
From a female perspective I was going to ask the same thing but let's expand it. Birth control, age, hormone shifts and mood/emotions/stress all can make libido take a nose dive for women. I thought I was broken for several years since my sex drive was pretty low...turns out it was just my birth control. Request a catalog from Pure Romance and ask her to pick out a few things. Or suggest she host a party and vacate the house so she can have some girl-time. I know I always come home ready for action if I have been out with the girls talking about sex all night. Makes me miss what I have at home ya know?
Slowly rising betas - Ectopic suspected on 8/8/14 & confirmed on 8/11/14
Methotrexate on 8/12/14 -HCG negative on 9/2/14
IVF #1- November- Antagonist protocol: 11/1: start stims, 200iu of Follistim; 11/12 ER 17R/14M/14F; 11/17 5 day transfer of two blasts, 2 blasts and 2 expanding morulas frozen; 11/22 BFP!! (On FRER at 5dp5dt)
Betas: 9dp5dt 205, 11dp5dt 497, 14dp5dt 1,709
u/s at 5w0d- 1 sac; u/s at 6w0d 1 baby with heartbeat, another sac without a heartbeat
Ratpasta - good luck this weekend. What is the reason it's been so long? Have you had a convo with your wife about it?
ohhh we've had many discussions about it and my wife is the type of person that the more you talk about it, the less she is inclined to do it. This goes for vacuuming, sex, taking care of pretty much anything if I suggest to her anything she wont do it. She needs to come to her own epiphany I stopped mentioning it several months ago when our boy was just a few weeks old. We did try once back then (for about a full second) and it was painful for her so I didnt want to push the issue and I figured we would get back to it when she was ready. Having said that, I really miss my wife.
The last 2 weeks of pregnancy we had sex nearly 3 times per week. Was mainly to try to induce but I tried to have fun also!!! I will bet I'm cut off for a long time, esp since we ended with a c section.
Man, this thread makes me feel like I'm getting it all the time (up to 1-2 times a week these days)
Once or twice a week! That would be amazing. Once or twice a month would be cool. Im currently on the once or twice a year plan. Im not even sure I could rise to that demand anymore.....its been so long. But hey - I enjoy a challenge! The funny thing is I can remember when we first started dating we used to do it so often that I was in pain and I can remember pushing through it because I wanted to make sure she was satisfied. Come to think of it, that's not funny at all.
Re: When To Expect Sex....
I will admit, it is had to make time for it. We realize that and we try to remind each other that even though we may be tired at that moment, all it takes is a couple of massages and we are good to go.
If we get in a rut, and stop being intimate for a couple of weeks, it gets really, really nasty in our house.
Ive often wondered what this would be like - Im not sure that I can actually wrap my head around the very idea!
Im nearly at four months now, no sex....and no sexual contact at all for at least a month
Our wedding night ended up with my husband getting me out of my clothes (because he's the responsible one) and sharing a microwaved cheeseburger at 3am in our jacuzzi tub. No sex involved.
Our honeymoon resulted in my reason for being on The Bump...
I had honestly never heard of a "wife's day" before in my life... honestly though, if my husband was like, "I just snowplowed the driveway, according to my list, that means I deserve to "plow" you", I would probably pee my pants from laughing so hard...
ETA: Sorry, I guess it's snow*blowing* but that makes the line suck.
@polooo27
Made me laugh too.
How far into the pregnancy did you guys stop having sex? As you know now we are at 35 wks with twins and the mrs took it off the table about 3 weeks ago which makes complete sense. How long will it be until I get laid again? We should set up a survey...
Id love my wife to ask me for sex! That would be amazing
Or a medication issue. So many people are on everyday scrips for this or that. When I first took lexapro ages ago my doc said it shouldnt affect my sex drive. HA! I didn't want to be looked at, much less touched. They are more aware/ better about telling you these things now, but I'm sure there are still cases where people just don't realize that's what is causing it.
It will be some time before you get laid. The good news is you will be too tired to care. I know that sounds odd right now, but seriously, you will both be too tired to care about sex for some time. Yes, you will entertain the idea in your mind, but, yawn..........
We have sex more regularly since my son was born. My LO is 5 months now. My DH is such a wonderful dad and has been an extra great husband that I want to do it for his sake. I don't enjoy it - I'm too dry from breastfeeding and DH is too clumsy with foreplay for me to get any enjoyment. But what surprised me is the satisfaction I feel from making him happy. And I look forward to that instead of my own gratification.
my birthday is at the end of the month, which will be just past my 5 month no-sexaversary..... we will see what happens......
ITS A GIRL!
A LOT THAT MOST DADS WOULD LAUGH AT ME FOR!
HAVING OUR BABY ABROAD.
military family
I stopped mentioning it several months ago when our boy was just a few weeks old. We did try once back then (for about a full second) and it was painful for her so I didnt want to push the issue and I figured we would get back to it when she was ready.
Having said that, I really miss my wife.
I will bet I'm cut off for a long time, esp since we ended with a c section.
Im not even sure I could rise to that demand anymore.....its been so long. But hey - I enjoy a challenge!
The funny thing is I can remember when we first started dating we used to do it so often that I was in pain and I can remember pushing through it because I wanted to make sure she was satisfied. Come to think of it, that's not funny at all.