So I have been going to therapy because this second m/c really threw me for a loop and made me pretty depressed. Tonight was my fifth session and I finally figured something out. I am not so much upset about losing my LO (although it is very dissappointing) as I am anxious that I may never have a successful pregnancy and be a mom in the future. In therapy tonight, I related my feelings to the way I had felt about four years ago when I was having trouble getting a job. I had just gotten out of college and it was the peak if the recession. I wasn't married and still lived with my parents. Even though nobody had been pressuring me to get a job and move out, I felt like I would never find my dream job, get married, or move out. Here I am, working in a job I love, married for 2 1/2 years, and living in my own house. Back four years ago, I wouldnt have imagined that I could make it this far. Even though its a different situation now, I still have the same feelings of anxiety. I am worried, because I thought I would be able to have a baby by now. Things are not going according to plan. But how do I know that in a few years from now (or sooner), I won't achieve what I presently think is impossible? If it happened before, it can happen again and I am going to convince myself of that. So I just wanted to share this with those of you who are struggling to visualize yourselves having a successful pregnancy. Recall a time when you thought you wouldn't be able to do something that you later accomplished. It made me feel a little better and we can all use some relief whenever we can get it. :-)
Married my best friend 7/2/11 - Furbaby born 7/9/11
and brought into our home 9/1/11
BFP#1: 2/2/13 ~ exact m/c date unknown but
around 3/20 at 10 weeks ~ diagnosed with PMP ~ D&C on 4/5 ~ TTA for at
least 1 year due to PMP ~ cleared to TTC 1/14
BFP#2: 2/7/14 ~ m/c 2/20/14 ~ possibly due
to chemical pregnancy ~ TG no D&C is needed
Surprise BFP#3: 4/4/14 ~ super duper extra happy
(and nervous) about this one - EDD 12/9/14!!!
John Joseph was born on 12/12/14 at 7 lbs. 11 oz. He is the most beautiful rainbow baby we could have wished for!