Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Epiphany about my impatience

JCM285JCM285 member
edited March 2014 in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
So I have been going to therapy because this second m/c really threw me for a loop and made me pretty depressed. Tonight was my fifth session and I finally figured something out. I am not so much upset about losing my LO (although it is very dissappointing) as I am anxious that I may never have a successful pregnancy and be a mom in the future. In therapy tonight, I related my feelings to the way I had felt about four years ago when I was having trouble getting a job. I had just gotten out of college and it was the peak if the recession. I wasn't married and still lived with my parents. Even though nobody had been pressuring me to get a job and move out, I felt like I would never find my dream job, get married, or move out. Here I am, working in a job I love, married for 2 1/2 years, and living in my own house. Back four years ago, I wouldnt have imagined that I could make it this far. Even though its a different situation now, I still have the same feelings of anxiety. I am worried, because I thought I would be able to have a baby by now. Things are not going according to plan. But how do I know that in a few years from now (or sooner), I won't achieve what I presently think is impossible? If it happened before, it can happen again and I am going to convince myself of that. So I just wanted to share this with those of you who are struggling to visualize yourselves having a successful pregnancy. Recall a time when you thought you wouldn't be able to do something that you later accomplished. It made me feel a little better and we can all use some relief whenever we can get it. :-)
Married my best friend 7/2/11 - Furbaby born 7/9/11 and brought into our home 9/1/11

BFP#1:   2/2/13 ~ exact m/c date unknown but around 3/20 at 10 weeks ~ diagnosed with PMP ~ D&C on 4/5 ~ TTA for at least 1 year due to PMP ~ cleared to TTC 1/14

BFP#2:   2/7/14 ~ m/c 2/20/14 ~ possibly due to chemical pregnancy ~ TG no D&C is needed 

Surprise BFP#3:  4/4/14 ~ super duper extra happy (and nervous) about this one - EDD 12/9/14!!!

John Joseph was born on 12/12/14 at 7 lbs. 11 oz.  He is the most beautiful rainbow baby we could have wished for!



Re: Epiphany about my impatience

  • that is a great way to put things in perspective, thanks for sharing.
     Daisypath Anniversary tickers        Daisypath Happy Birthday tickers

    Oct Angel*BFP 1/25/14 * EDD 10/6/14 * US#1 2/26/14 *US#2 3/3/14 no heartbeat*d&c 3/12/14*

    BFP 1/17/15 * EDD 9/30/15


  • Thanks for sharing! Very true. There WILL be a rainbow after all this rain!
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  • That is right. Also, your dreams can change, and that is ok! I think the key is loving yourself enough to roll with life's punches.

    Some people aren't religious and that's ok, but let me share something that I learned this week from my Bible study... The concept translates even if you aren't religious.

    A strong man falls and gets back up, but a fool falls into mischief.

    It's not how many times you fall, but that you continue to pull yourself up when you're ready. It's ok to fall... Everyone does. Strength is made when you pull yourself out of that hole. Staying down too long leads you into a further depth.

    Good work! (((Hugs)))


    PG#1 - 3rd cycle BFP. Team Green. HELLP syndrome @ 34 weeks.
    Later diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, possible link to HELLP.

    PG#2 M/C 3/14 - Surprise BFP 2/13. Beta's doubled every 52 hours from 3w5d-5w5d
    Viable pregnancy scan at 5w5d; 2nd u/s showed 2 days of growth in 7 but a HB of 120
    3rd u/s on 3/10/14 had no HB and baby had only grown 7 days over 14
    D&C 3/17/14 - complications - DX Retroflexed uterus, multiple tears to cervix

    All Welcome


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