Decisions... Decisions....

krgriffin26 · March 2014

There are so many options when it comes to giving birth. Hospital, home, center....medicated/not medicated... water tub, hospital bed, standing in the shower... laying, standing, squatting....

omg so many choices!!! What will you be doing and why did you make that decision?

I will be a FTM and haven't really thought of anything other than being in a hospital bed with the stirrups and hooked up to an epidural. I'm sure many of you are against that but I just really want to know what has influenced you for your future path. Maybe something will change my mind

lilliesandvino · March 2014

Doing research and educating myself about different options.

Kristy774 · March 2014

This will be my 3rd....and I will do it the same as I did before, in a hospital bed, with an epidural. More power to those ladies that can do it with no drugs and home births and water births and midwives - I honestly think that stuff is amazing but its just not for me.

icaughtfire · March 2014

I plan to have a hospital birth with an epidural. I know birth is a natural thing, but just the thought of not being surrounded by a medical team gives me major anxiety. As for the epidural -- labor is painful, and I have no desire to go through unnecessary pain. I enjoyed my first labor experience & hope to have a very similar one this time around.

venussapphire · March 2014

Hospital-We had planned a homebirth last time but my body wouldn't go into labour and ended up in a csection. Midwives won't allow a home birth this time

No meds- I want to be very aware of what is going on and I don't want to affect the baby at all.

phdprocrastinator · March 2014

I will definitely be in a hospital! As for the epidural: I had one last time, but I had a condition that almost precluded it. I can't remember the name, but one of my platelets dropped below a cut off so they had to test my coagulation when I was admitted to ensure that an epidural wouldn't cause paralysis (your blood has to clot or else it will seep into your spinal column).

So... After that experience, I am now thinking that I may want to try for an unmedicated delivery. I'd rather be in intense pain for 24 hours than paralyzed for life. My HMO has two hospitals in my area. One is a teaching hospital where I delivered DD. It's newer and only has solo rooms for mom/baby. The other has midwives but some of the mom/baby rooms are doubles. The midwife hospital also has a lower grade NICU. Both have very low rates of c-section. As of right now, I just can't decide between the two.

At least there's 7.5 more months to make these decisions!

bethanyturon · March 2014

I will give birth at a birth center, and I did last time as well. I decided to do this because I wanted a more comfortable and intimate environment and one that was supportive on making it a positive experience. They automatically are med-free. I loved that the entire family got to hang out together in a comfy bed after. Plus the midwives were really nurturing instead of being procedural and clinical. The idea of having the freedom to make the experience my own without being tied to bed with something stuck up my back and my legs up in the air really appealed to me. Also the documentary "The Business of Being Born" really opened my eyes to a lot. I chose not to do home birth because I want there to be a separation, I don't want to look at a spot and remember the actual birth itself, just not my preference. Plus birth centers are right next to hospitals in case of emergency.

Kaleburger · March 2014

Oh god Epidurals are the best. I'm already looking forward to those drugs again.

MeghanCF · March 2014

I used to think epidural all the way but now. ....I kinda want to try natural birth. That's not to say that I won't get an epidural if I wuss out.

I'm gonna go to a hospital. I feel most comfortable there, with my doctor.

sparklefarkle · March 2014

I think it's a deeply personal decision that every mama should make for themselves. Do research, ask other moms about their experiences and do what feels right to you. Once you make that decision, don't let anyone pressure you into anything differently!

lil_shocker · March 2014

Also, remember that the choices you make are not always what you will follow during labor. Research your options, decide what you would like to happen and why (it helps your ability to communicate your decisions to doctor/midwife/doula, etc). But don't close yourself off from the possibility that your plan may change, by choice or by circumstance.

I didnt want an epidural because I havent fully rid myself of a phobia of needles. I was very anti epidural, but when the labor and back labor started, it hurt. A lot. I told my midwife I preferred not to have an epidural but that I didnt know how I would handle the pain and started to doubt myself. I was able to handle the pain without the epidural, but had IV pain meds to help take the edge off. And, I am okay with that. My SIL had a very clear idea how her birth would go, and none of it went as planned. She had a hard time coming to terms with that, in part because she was too set in her idea of what was going to happen.

Make your decision, but make considerations for the curveballs, too.

hiketheworld · March 2014

It also depends on the options where you live. I'm in NYC and you'd think there would be loads of options but not so much. As far as I've found, there is one hospital with showers in some of the rooms, zero with tubs. The place with showers had no obs that were taking patients and took my insurance. One manhattan birthing center with only three beds and very strict risking-out rules and I won't qualify for it. So, while I'd love to have certain things, it isn't an option for me here unless I'm missing something. Also if you want a private recovery room it's $600-800/night average. So no DH overnight unless you fork over the money. This city sucks big time. I can't wait to move!

abbyful · March 2014

Plan this time is the same as last time: natural birth (Bradley Method) in a hospital with an OB.

Things can go wrong quickly, and I could never live with myself if they did go wrong and I had chosen to be somewhere aware from immediate medical care. I like that if things take a turn for the worse, all they have to do is roll me across the hall and I'm ready for an emergency c-section. I hope that doesn't happen, but it's comforting to know that major interventions are immediately available if needed.

As for as the epidural, (a) I hate needles, and the idea of one in my back is not something I want, I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth, (b) I don't want to risk the possible side-effects.

Also, going natural, I had a super quick recovery. After I got stitched up, I walked (albeit slowly) and pushed DS in the hospital cart to our recovery room.

Research what you want. Be firm, but also be flexible.
Example of when I needed to be firm: One of the OBs at my OB clinic (they rotate you through all the doctors, and the on-call doctor when you go into labor is the one who delivers the baby) discouraged me when he saw my birth-plan attached to my patient records and kept telling me "you should be open to the epidural, you should get it". He also started asking me when I wanted to schedule induction, for no medical reason, a couple weeks before my due date. He wanted me to schedule it a couple weeks ahead of time like 1-2 days after my due date.

Example of when I was flexible: I said no episiotomy, and that I'd rather tear than be cut. When it got to it, the doctor doing the delivery told me it would probably be 30 more minutes to tear, which we could do, or he could make a cut. At that point, I was like "GET IT OUT!", got the episiotomy and DS was born a couple pushes later.

mrsodonnell12 · March 2014

I will be having a MW assist at my home birth.

I had an unmedicated natural child birth in a hospital with my first. It was a relatively short labor for a ftm, about 5 hours. When I was pregnant with my second we discussed a homebirth but didn't commit. We were planning on going to the same hospital. At 36w I was having major anxiety about this decision and we decided to make the switch to a home birth MW. Best. Decision. Ever. I ended up with a 1.5 hour super speed, super intense labor and I wouldn't have made it to the hospital. It was an amazing experience and as long as all Is well we will have all of our future children at home.

KatzKiss · March 2014

I never made a birth plan. I new my options, but I wanted to be flexible and I didn't want to get my heart set on something and then be disappointed. When it came down to it, I had an epidural. The lights were all very dim and relaxing. My husband had one leg and the nurse had the other and I just pushed against them. That was it. Very simple. It was not a big fancy hospital though so a lot of the options like water birth or birthing ball weren't options anyway. I learned about my options through birthing class which I really encourage FTM to take. I will probably do everything the same this time since it worked last time even though the hospital I will be birthing in this time has many more amenities.

EDT: Because I sounded like a redneck.

Kristy774 · March 2014

mrsodonnell12 said:
I will be having a MW assist at my home birth.

I had an unmedicated natural child birth in a hospital with my first. It was a relatively short labor for a ftm, about 5 hours. When I was pregnant with my second we discussed a homebirth but didn't commit. We were planning on going to the same hospital. At 36w I was having major anxiety about this decision and we decided to make the switch to a home birth MW. Best. Decision. Ever. I ended up with a 1.5 hour super speed, super intense labor and I wouldn't have made it to the hospital. It was an amazing experience and as long as all Is well we will have all of our future children at home.

This sounds so nice. Stuff like this makes me want to change the way I do labor.

nonoemily · March 2014

I know everyone's experience is different, but even in the middle of transition there is no way in HELL I would have let someone stick a needle in my spine.

I had a lot of health problems as a child and have spend a lot of time in hospitals. I hate them, they give me anxiety. I know there are some great medical professionals out there, but they are few and far between. I am also not a worrier. I do NOT give any time to thinking about what could go wrong.

Home birth. No question about it. A hospital birth is pretty much my worst nightmare.

crizz13 · March 2014

phdprocrastinator said:

At least there's 7.5 more months to make these decisions!

I'm probably going to need all of the time I can get to decide!

sunflwra · March 2014

At a hospital- unsure of the pain medication. Had an epidural with my first but I knew that going in due to a surgical follow up that had to be done. I had a relatively easy labor, delivery and recovery last time, but I'm just going to take it as it comes this time and see what I want to do. Location-wise- I just have more of a comfort level in a hospital should something happen to me or the baby.

mockingjay1 · March 2014

The only decision I've really made is that I'm going to deliver in a hospital with my OB. I'm probably a little jaded as a NICU nurse, but I've seen way too many deliveries go bad and if the mom and baby hadn't been in the hospital the baby (and sometimes mother) would have died.

lauren3717 · March 2014

With my first, I didn't consider anything but a hospital bed. I just felt like God forbid everything doesn't go smoothly, it's better to have experts right on site and be in a hospital (sometimes minutes or seconds matter, and I would want to be right near the best experts and equipment possible). Obviously just my opinion--not judging anyone for making a different decision. I wound up needing a c-section, but I was definitely going to go for the drugs if I had delivered!

lisaren · March 2014

Hospital with my MW and my birth plan. The exact way I've done it with my four other children!
I've also birthed one natural, 2 with epidural and one with Percocet. I honestly cannot say any labor was better or more traumatic or faster recovery time... At the end of the day we were healthy, and that's mostly what I remember.

want2bhomestead · March 2014

I'm reading the book hypnobabies and considering doing a hypnobirth, but we will see how i feel after I read the book

My hospital offers a birthing pool and birthing ball so i want to explore those options too. I'd like to do it without an epidural as i seem to have strange reactions to hospital drugs...

Maelara · March 2014

Last time I had a csection. It wasn't an optional one per say, though it was technically considered one. DD had both feet down the day I went in for an induction (I was overdue) so csection it was! And honestly, I was up and moving around the second the freezing started coming off. It was quick. I'm not recommending a csection, I'm just saying that if I had to have a spinal and was up and walking quickly (and I was 'frozen to my eyeballs' as they call it) then an epidural shouldn't be a problem

plus, they give you a needle to freeze the area first before the big ass needle is inserted. I never even saw the needle. It really wasnt that bad and I am terrified of needles!

herlysgirly · March 2014

I haven't read all the other responses, but this is my third. I'll be planning on a natural, vaginal, in-hospital, with an OB birth. I'd LOVE to have a homebirth, but hubby vetoed.

Best thing to do: research! READ as much up on everything you can. Also, know what you want, but be flexible. I was very adamant about doing everything as naturally as I could... but they knew that of course I wanted them to do whatever was necessary if problems arose. I was blessed with two very quick, healthy, wonderful births and am excited to be doing it all over again!

meeshybee · March 2014

Definitely do your research and learn as much as you can about all the options.

With #1, I almost HAD to deliver at a hospital. He had a medical issue that needed to be checked out immediately after birth. I wanted to try for a med-free birth but filled out all the paperwork just in case. I was glad I did because I did not have an easy labor at all. My water broke in L&D triage and then I had strong contractions but absolutely no progress for over 12 hours. Not something you can forsee. At 14 hours I asked for meds (never ever ever ever again!) and at 16 hours I got an epidural. He was born 2 hours later.

Each time I've held out as long as I can (my shortest labor was about 8 hours), but I always end up going with the epi. If you can do it med free more power to you, but I'm a wimp.

And at least at my hospital, the staff is not "cold and clinical". Then again, I use humor as a coping mechanism when I'm stressed so maybe that helps.

Rhall2088 · March 2014

With my first I really wanted to give birth at home naturally, but because I had two miscarriages before my husband and family doctor (previous ob doctor/ good friend) talked me out of it. They asked me to please have this one in the hospital if it all went fine I could do the next at home/ birthing center. My family doctor/y sons pediatrician said that I would never forgive myself if he was born needing immediate medical attention and I was home and he wouldn't get that! When he was born he wasn't breathing and had a faint heartbeat. He needed immediate medical attention he had to have a machine breath for him and he had to have his stomach pumped. My labor was really easy only 7 hours. I did get an epideral. This time I will have my baby naturally in the hospital but I plan to not make a birth plan bc babies don't come as planned. The hospital we go to you can labor in bed the shower in your room or in jacuzzi so there are lots of options in your room!

MmmPopcorn · March 2014

I plan to give birth in a hospital. I have been told at several points in the past (usually by dentists) that my body burns anesthesia unusually fast which can render a lot of painkillers useless, so I think I'll opt for a med-free birth simply because the epidural will likely wear off super fast. The same thing happened to my mom during one of her labors, and she opted never to use the epidural again. I have no ideological opposition to an epidural, but I don't think it's for me.

I think I'd like to hire a doula. I think it would help my husband relax and not feel the weight of the world on his shoulders if there is an experienced woman there to help me through the process.

I also acknowledge that baby's plans will supersede my plans. I'm trying not to get my heart set on any one birth plan because things can change so quickly. I really respect that.

Fortunately, the hospital where my OB delivers asks women to bring a one-page birth plan with the basics on it: who's allowed in the room, should mom be offered pain medication, what kinds of labor positions will mom likely use, etc. I really respect that.

abbyful · March 2014

Rhall2088 said:

With my first I really wanted to give birth at home naturally, but because I had two miscarriages before my husband and family doctor (previous ob doctor/ good friend) talked me out of it. They asked me to please have this one in the hospital if it all went fine I could do the next at home/ birthing center. My family doctor/y sons pediatrician said that I would never forgive myself if he was born needing immediate medical attention and I was home and he wouldn't get that! When he was born he wasn't breathing and had a faint heartbeat. He needed immediate medical attention he had to have a machine breath for him and he had to have his stomach pumped. My labor was really easy only 7 hours. I did get an epideral. This time I will have my baby naturally in the hospital but I plan to not make a birth plan bc babies don't come as planned. The hospital we go to you can labor in bed the shower in your room or in jacuzzi so there are lots of options in your room!

(Note: This isn't directed at you, it's just general comments about my view on birth plans, spun off of the bold comment.)

I think making a birth plan is still a good idea. It's good to go over with your doctor ahead of time, and a good opener to talking about if things DON'T go as planned. And lets the L&D nurses know what you want when you may not be in the best state to verbalize it clearly. I don't see a birth plan as a "this is how it will go, period!", I see it more as "if everything is going well & routinely, this are some things we'd like".

I had in my birth plan that I wanted to do it naturally, so the nurses didn't even offer me pain medication. I had in my plan that I wanted to labor in different positions and free to move around the room, so they brought me in yoga balls. I also had things like if I wasn't progressing to try natural methods first, like membrane sweep, before pitocin (luckily didn't need either one).

I also had post-birth stuff in there, such as that we wanted to do delayed cord clamping and immediate skin-to-skin contact. And baby-related stuff, like no formula & no pacifiers.

Livingthemommylife · March 2014

This will be my third and I will be doing another hospital birth but this time without an epidural. Last time the anesthesiologist applied it in my back 4 different times and it kept failing, in the end only half of my body (right side) was numb and I felt every contraction. For 8 weeks after baby I had immense pain in my spine and it was unbearable I'm lucky that the pain went away and never came back. Some women deal with back pains for the rest of their lives due to epidurals. My last two were induced and if this one is too I'm in a boat load of trouble pain-wise but the pain from the aftermath of my last one is so vivid, I'm willing to take a few hours of pain rather than weeks or longer. Im definitely going to have to find ways to deal with pain. This will be tough.

nonoemily · March 2014

Livingthemommylife said:
This will be my third and I will be doing another hospital birth but this time without an epidural. Last time the anesthesiologist applied it in my back 4 different times and it kept failing, in the end only half of my body (right side) was numb and I felt every contraction. For 8 weeks after baby I had immense pain in my spine and it was unbearable I'm lucky that the pain went away and never came back. Some women deal with back pains for the rest of their lives due to epidurals. My last two were induced and if this one is too I'm in a boat load of trouble pain-wise but the pain from the aftermath of my last one is so vivid, I'm willing to take a few hours of pain rather than weeks or longer. Im definitely going to have to find ways to deal with pain. This will be tough.

Wow, that sounds tough. I will cross my fingers for you that you don't have to be induced again, cuz I hear that is really intense.

lisaren · March 2014

abbyful said:

Rhall2088 said:

With my first I really wanted to give birth at home naturally, but because I had two miscarriages before my husband and family doctor (previous ob doctor/ good friend) talked me out of it. They asked me to please have this one in the hospital if it all went fine I could do the next at home/ birthing center. My family doctor/y sons pediatrician said that I would never forgive myself if he was born needing immediate medical attention and I was home and he wouldn't get that! When he was born he wasn't breathing and had a faint heartbeat. He needed immediate medical attention he had to have a machine breath for him and he had to have his stomach pumped. My labor was really easy only 7 hours. I did get an epideral. This time I will have my baby naturally in the hospital but I plan to not make a birth plan bc babies don't come as planned. The hospital we go to you can labor in bed the shower in your room or in jacuzzi so there are lots of options in your room!

(Note: This isn't directed at you, it's just general comments about my view on birth plans, spun off of the bold comment.)

I think making a birth plan is still a good idea. It's good to go over with your doctor ahead of time, and a good opener to talking about if things DON'T go as planned. And lets the L&D nurses know what you want when you may not be in the best state to verbalize it clearly. I don't see a birth plan as a "this is how it will go, period!", I see it more as "if everything is going well & routinely, this are some things we'd like".

I had in my birth plan that I wanted to do it naturally, so the nurses didn't even offer me pain medication. I had in my plan that I wanted to labor in different positions and free to move around the room, so they brought me in yoga balls. I also had things like if I wasn't progressing to try natural methods first, like membrane sweep, before pitocin (luckily didn't need either one).

I also had post-birth stuff in there, such as that we wanted to do delayed cord clamping and immediate skin-to-skin contact. And baby-related stuff, like no formula & no pacifiers.

Exactly!!!

My birth plan was more like how I want the mood in room, visitors, what I want done and how often I'm checked, and the protocol for what happens after baby is born. This is all within the thought everything is OKAY! It's also said in my plan that we will reevaluate when and if anything happens. My birth plan was a very powerful tool for me. A feeling of empowerment for me and the baby.

mrsodonnell12 · March 2014

I think birth plans are very important. I get that things can to wrong and not as planned,but for most healthy women they will go as planned. Its much easier to have it written down and have your doc/MW on the same page and not have to keep asking you things instead of just looking at the birth plan.

CTri17 · March 2014

This will be homebirth #3 for me as long as I stay healthy/low risk. I will have 2 midwives there. I'm more of a go with the flow in labor and do what feels good. First one I mostly pushed in the tub but she was born on land 2nd the tub didn't work as well so I swayed and squatted and birthed on the birth stool. Id be happy to have a waterbirth but again ill go with the flow

mrsodonnell12 · March 2014

CTri17 said:
This will be homebirth #3 for me as long as I stay healthy/low risk. I will have 2 midwives there.

I'm more of a go with the flow in labor and do what feels good. First one I mostly pushed in the tub but she was born on land
2nd the tub didn't work as well so I swayed and squatted and birthed on the birth stool.

Id be happy to have a waterbirth but again ill go with the flow

I had a waterbirth with our second and I just cant imagine doing it any other way!

mccall0113 · March 2014

Repeat section. All the way!

Rhall2088 · March 2014

Maybe your guys hospitals are different but when I went to the hospital to register and tour they handed me a checklist of all of that. How I wanted the lights who I wanted in the room did I want visitors right after baby. What type of pain medication did I want if any. Did I want to birth in a tub, shower, bed, or birthing ball.

I'm a planner and I knew if I made a plan that I didn't want a c section I would be devastated if I had to have one, but for everything else my hospital had a list of these questions unfortianitly I didn't get to spend time with my son right after he was born bc he needed immediate medical attention it wasn't till the following day that he could be in my room but still need to be hooked up to machines. Planning isn't for everyone but at least tell ur husband ur stance on certain views if ur hospital doesn't ask.

lisaren · March 2014

My hospital does not ask questions about lights etc... They do ask about visitors. The other important piece of a birth plan for me, was if I was in no place to speak for me, then the plan was there to help my husband. Also he is super anxious when it comes to me and labor. He's super great during but not the best when it comes to certain decisions. Haha.

tamarnina · March 2014

No battle plan survives first contact with the enemy! You really just have to see how it goes when you are actually in labor. It's important to be flexible. I was planning to do a natural birth for my first child, but 16 hours of back labor and an unstable labor pattern ended that. I had the epidural and was able to calm down and stop fighting my body and deliver without needing a c-section.

For my second, I was induced because she was a week and a half late and not growing as much as she should have. That was a much easier labor, because I knew I wanted the epidural as soon as the pain got to be too much, rather than trying to fight it.

This time, I will just see how it goes, but I am likely to have the epidural if I feel like I need it. All I want is to avoid a c-section.

KTgator · March 2014

With my daughter in 2011 I had a very unnecessary scheduled csec. My OBGYN told me at 36 weeks that I had a narrow pubic arch, that my hips would never spread, that baby would never drop, and if I tried for a labor it would most likely end in failed labor and an emergency csec. That scared the crap out of me, so scheduled csec at 39 weeks 4 days it was.

I didn't realize until a few months after how ridiculous what he had told me was. I go to a moms group at a local birth center, and the moms there totally supported me during this time.

Now I am hopefully planning to have a VBAC (possibly an HBAC) with some really awesome local midwives. I want to take the hypnobabies birth course as well and am hoping I can have a water birth.

I hate that I'm having to deal with this "fight" for my right to labor. As a first time mom, I urge you to research, research, and research until you are researched out. That was my downfall, and I totally regretted it after the fact. I was 25 when my daughter was born and super healthy. I should never have had to schedule a csec at 39 weeks 4 days without ever having any signs of labor!

I just got my records yesterday, and my odds are looking good. I'm 27, low transverse incision, and healthy. *fingers crossed*!!

Good luck mamas! I hope everyone gets to experience birth in the way they are planning for

jaminjeff · March 2014

Probably a RCS. LO 1 was an emergency c/s after 20 hours of labor (he was deceling into the 20's) and the OBs and MWs in my practice have told me they don't feel I'm a good candidate for VBAC.

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