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May 2014 Moms
FFFC
This discussion has been closed.
Re: FFFC
Kids are supposed to go through phases of testing the boundaries. If there are no boundaries, it can set them up for a lot of issues later on.
They have to learn that some things are not choices and not everything will go there way. You must brush your teeth. You must wear a hat when it is cold etc.
I love this topic. It's something I feel very passionate about.
BFP#3 9-4-13 Benjamin Lee born 4-28-14
Not really aimed at you or anyone in particular, but I find that a lot of temper tantrums (especially in younger kids ( are not about a child necessarily getting his or her way and just being a spoiled brat, but about not being able to communicate wants/needs and getting frustrated. I guess that is why I am reading some (some not all) of these comments and rolling my eyes.
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
Also I had an erotic dream about an adorable British beauty vlogger from YouTube. In the dream I followed her around a convention, trying to convince her that I was the perfect one to teach her all the joys of lesbian sex. Which is amusing considering I've never even touched a girl. :-?
DS: 11/8/11 | 9 lb 7 oz, 22 in
DD: 5/22/14 | 9 lb 9 oz, 21.5 in
I was allowed to bring home the worst grades with little consequence. I was a smart kid, but I also had undiagnosed ADHD and was basically allowed to fail. I didn't realize I'm not a lazy moron until much later in life, after everyone else I knew had already graduated with their four year degrees. I still resent how hands off my parents were with this. I was a teenager and definitely not capable of making the rational decision to just blow off school. As the adults, they should've put forth the effort to see what was going on & make me do better. </end story>
In my opinion, letting them get away with it is giving them exactly what they are throwing the tantrum for, so that the tantrum becomes a means of getting their own way.
I have sat and literally waited for hours for children with behavior issues to work through a tantrum. You didn't get the right color ball in gym class? Too bad. Cry it out. Not everything is going to go your way. Often with the kids I have worked with they'll have smaller tantrums and when they realize that that doesn't get them their way, then they'll have bigger ones until they have one big tantrum and it finally kicks in that "hey... this isn't working... I'd better try something else" That's when teaching about making good choices fits in. (Again... kindergarten/primary school) But often these behaviors are a result of parents being overly permissive and giving them what they want so that they don't cry.
Ignoring it and letting them cry or removing them from the situation (as long as it is safe to do so) is exactly what I would do. Crying/kicking/hitting is not going to work.
ETA: The first thing we do when we make behavior management plans is to figure out what the reason for the tantrums are. How we approach the behavior will vary based on that.
If DD is crying at her mom and tot gym class because she didn't get a nap, then I take her out of the situation and bring her to have a nap. If she is having a tantrum because she wants some random thing at the store, then she can cry all she likes.
Mommy to my sweet boy, JG, born May 15, 2014
Baby #2 due 4/26/16!
Mommy to my sweet boy, JG, born May 15, 2014
Baby #2 due 4/26/16!
I also have bad white coat syndrome so DH at the appointment keeps my BP down. He is also really good at remembering things I tend to forget to ask about.
If he didn't want to be there, I would be totally okay going alone, but he loves being involved in everything and I am not going to take that away from him.
DS: 11/8/11 | 9 lb 7 oz, 22 in
DD: 5/22/14 | 9 lb 9 oz, 21.5 in
Pretty much the only parents who I side eye are parents who fail to recognize the bolded when dealing with their toddlers/children. For example:
Parent: "Little Johnny, we're going swimming. Do you want to put on sunscreen now?"
18-20 month old Johnny: "NO!!!!"
Parent: "But Johhhhnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeyyyyyy, you'll get sunburned if you don't put on sunscreen...."
18-20 month old Johnny: "NO!!!"
Well why the eff was it presented as a choice? He's a toddler. Tell him it's time to put on sunscreen. Why make it into a discussion?
Your kid is throwing a fit because you are putting sunscreen on them and they don't like it? You'll get a sympathetic glance from me.
You are engaging in an argument with your toddler about whether sunscreen will be worn? You'll probably get a side eye.
Ugh. This is DH with DD. He refuses to accept the kid just has to be conned into doing things or made to do them. I.e. the other day he wanted her to turn the water down while brushing her teeth because she was wasting water. Sorry DH. Conservation of resources is not in our lesson plan for the morning. She's brushing her teeth. I'm happy! He says he can't wait until she gets logic, so at least he admits his problem.
Eta: I was referring to those "must be done" things as far as conning DD into them or making her do them. She does have choices in other less imperative issues.
Oh and I need him to get free parking.
Mommy to my sweet boy, JG, born May 15, 2014
Baby #2 due 4/26/16!
I don't think that can be classified as I don't discipline my kid. She is no stranger to time out. And I never have to count past "one" when I ask her not to do something.
And guise, toddlers are assholes. They really really are.
Im not talking about the waiting room it is more my twice weekly non stress tests where the room is super tiny divided by curtains and all you do is sit in a recliner strapped to monitors for 20 to 40 minutes, results at the end, why do certain partners need to sqeeze in the already small space just to perch at the bottom of recliner on a folding chair?
Because they want to?
On the topic of toddlers. I believe there is a way to handle a kid without them learning they can walk all over you. And toddlers are little shits. I try to tell DH this. We have a friend with a 3 year old who is constantly a brat, and I tell DH part of it is parenting choices, part of it is the fact that he is 3. DH will soon learn.
But I grew up with a military father who didn't put up with anything and I have a little bit of that going on with me. So if my kid wants a toy at the store and I say no and he throws a fit. He will throw the fit, sorry other shoppers! Buying him a toy only encourages that kind of behavior.
The other day we heard a mom saying to her kid (3ish age) in the grocery store, "no you don't get candy because you are behaving poorly." DH said "good job mom!"
Congrats third time is the charm for us too , I hope!
The actual confession is that I totally made him feel guilty about it last night that I have to do all the work for both of us. I totally don't care. Not sure why I told him I did.
Friends for 17 years. Married 10. TTC since Jan 2009.
2013: IVF#3/FET#4 Elisabeth CJ born April 30, 2014
Cerclage, P17, and 3 months of bed rest brought us our Rainbow.
Dum spiro, spero.
My FFFC is that our wine fridge is still in LO's room and I'm not sure it's going to be moved before he arrives. We don't have anywhere else to put it!
These other FFFC's are making my night! You ladies are hilarious.
Well then side eye the shit out of me. This time not so much but with my sin my husband was there for every appointment he could make it to. If he weren't 12+ hours away he would be this time too. Then again once you've had a miscarriage and then a really rough start on both pregnancies, it kinda changes your perspective on things a bit.