FFFC

reneewhite90

RedInLove said:

reneewhite90 said:

I'm guessing this won't be "flame free" judging by the craze for these things by this group (which I never understood). But I just made a pack of cinnamon rolls for maybe the second time this entire pregnancy and iced them pretty perfectly, if I do say so myself. They sounded good when I put them in the oven, but I'm just not feelin' them now. A whole pack of perfectly iced cinnamon rolls just sitting there untouched, where they will probably stay all day now. Maybe I can convince DD to eat one when she gets home from school? 

Flame away you cinnamon roll lovin' bitchez. Flame away.

Whoa. WHOA. Is this grounds to revoke her M14 Membership Card?
____________________


Dude. I said "flame away", not kick me F out. What the hell?! Such violence...

RedInLove

reneewhite90 said:

reneewhite90 said:

I'm guessing this won't be "flame free" judging by the craze for these things by this group (which I never understood). But I just made a pack of cinnamon rolls for maybe the second time this entire pregnancy and iced them pretty perfectly, if I do say so myself. They sounded good when I put them in the oven, but I'm just not feelin' them now. A whole pack of perfectly iced cinnamon rolls just sitting there untouched, where they will probably stay all day now. Maybe I can convince DD to eat one when she gets home from school? 

Flame away you cinnamon roll lovin' bitchez. Flame away.

Whoa. WHOA. Is this grounds to revoke her M14 Membership Card?

____________________

Dude. I said "flame away", not kick me F out. What the hell?! Such violence...

OK. But consider this your gimme.

Suit up, woman!

cbrust

Luckyu317 said:

I think my SIL is an idiot because she already turned our 4 month old nephew's car seat forward facing. Why? ''Because he cried so much when we put him in it''.

that's not even legal! so if he cries forward facing is she going to take him out and just hold him while she drives??

my somewhat related FFFC: I side eye parents who let their kids run the show. I'm the parent, I make the rules; you are the child, you follow them.

typeset

cbrust said:

my somewhat related FFFC: I side eye parents who let their kids run the show. I'm the parent, I make the rules; you are the child, you follow them.

Hee hee hee. 

danabsd

I don't suggest TB to anyone IRL even though I think it's an amazing resource. Why? Because I don't want them to find me or see me talking about them in anyway. ">

typeset

I toured a preschool this morning. The other mom I was with is due in three weeks. One of the kids began asking her questions about how the baby would get out of her belly and stuffing a doll up his shirt. It got really awkward for her.

I pretended to just be fat rather than commiserating. 

husker10

DH was snoring worse than usual last night.  I tried nudging him with my elbow to get him to roll over, but it didn't work.  So, I kicked/pushed him with my feet, and he fell out of bed.  He was all confused and was asking me what happened, I pretended I didn't know.  I don't care, I needed sleep.

ErikaLynn75

I had my first doctor's appointment since my GD diagnosis yesterday. I asked whether there would be extra monitoring/ultrasounds than normal because of it. My doctor definitely falls on the "all natural - few interventions" end of the spectrum in general. So the PA that I saw said some other doctors will do ultrasounds every 2 weeks, and NST twice weekly after a GD dianosis, but that's the ultra-conservative playing-it-safe policy. My doctor only does that if it appears I have had a hard time controlling my blood sugar. So since my blood sugar numbers looked so good, she said the plan would be to do an ultrasound at 36 weeks, and then NST every week after that (when I'm already coming in for weekly appointments). 

BUT then she said, if I'm not comfortable with that, and I want more ultrasounds, they would do whatever I want. I totally trust my doctor, and I am 100% comfortable with this course of action, but I was SOOOO tempted to tell her I was really worried and I want an ultrasound every 2 weeks just because I want to see our little boy! 

And now that I know I'll get one in a month, it seems like a waste to go get an elective 4D, even though I have a coupon for $50 off. 

LoveIsAll25

reneewhite90 said: I just suggested The Bump to an old "friend" who just found out she was pregnant. I did this mainly to have entertainment for the next nine months because this chick is a nut ball and I cannot wait for the snark of the Bump gods to flame her to the high heavens. Oh happy day. ---------------------------------
I did this last year to my SIL. She even told me her Bump name so I had front row seats to her flame worthy post(s). One was about her baby shower and the other was about smoking weed during pregnancy.  

sheriot

God, that picture. I keep scrolling past it, then scrolling back up, then quickly looking away, then scrolling over it again to see if I missed anything. It's the most horrific train wreck of all.

LoveIsAll25

I don't like my toddler. I love the kid to death..but I don't like him. 

kat8805

sheriot said:

God, that picture. I keep scrolling past it, then scrolling back up, then quickly looking away, then scrolling over it again to see if I missed anything. It's the most horrific train wreck of all.

I laugh hysterically just thinking about it. Scrolling past it? Forget about it! I peed myself. 

awc1986

FFFC: We asked our builder to re-tile the bathroom even though he'd done it the day before, because he hadn't done it in a brickwork style. It was our fault because we forgot to tell him. I got home and his van was still outside, so i drove around town until he left. 

ykristos

husker10 said:

DH was snoring worse than usual last night.  I tried nudging him with my elbow to get him to roll over, but it didn't work.  So, I kicked/pushed him with my feet, and he fell out of bed.  He was all confused and was asking me what happened, I pretended I didn't know.  I don't care, I needed sleep.

I just had to tell you that I read this ~5 minutes ago and I'm still laughing about it. Fffc: I love when people fall so. much.

cbrust

Bliz1712 said:

cbrust said:

my somewhat related FFFC: I side eye parents who let their kids run the show. I'm the parent, I make the rules; you are the child, you follow them.

hahah Please report back when LO is a toddler and let me know if you have the same logic.  Some things are easier said than done.  And explaining logic or anything in general to a 20 month old is not that easy.

Maybe I should clarify that I am not under any impression that it's that simple. I am completely aware that that logic is way easier said that done; however I'm not about to let my child run rampant because they're a toddler and "can't understand logic or anything." I may be a FTM and see through rose colored glasses but I've also been around kids my entire life so I'm not completely oblivious. I am a firm believer that kids need structure and consistency in parenting and discipline. 

ETA: remind me of this post when I'm posting here in a year pulling my hair out  

RedInLove

mary97 said:

keeumm said:

I have a zero tolerance policy for people who are victims of circumstances that they can control.  I cannot empathize with anyone who complains for the sake of complaining. I have had to deal with this more than I care to this week at work and with family members, and every time I find myself tuning out and ignoring the person. I just can't engage. I fear that it is impacting some of my relationships, especially with family, but I refuse to be brought down by someone else's drama.

 

Also, I just ate a muffin the size of my head. No regrets.

I completely understand, my MIL is one of those people and I can't tell you how many times I've almost bitten my tongue off.  I like her but it's hard to be around someone who's always talking about her woes but almost all of them have been self-induced.

Now I want a muffin.

This is BIL. He's been going on for years about how much his life sucks and what a fuck-up he's been. Which is 100% true. Yet he does NOTHING about it. We just ignore him, and I avoid him.

And I'll have a muffin too, please. Cranberry chocolate chip sounds good right now.

ETA spelling

Kageer

I include people.com and usmagazine.com on my list of websites that I visit daily.

danabsd

Bliz1712 said:

cbrust said:

my somewhat related FFFC: I side eye parents who let their kids run the show. I'm the parent, I make the rules; you are the child, you follow them.

hahah Please report back when LO is a toddler and let me know if you have the same logic.  Some things are easier said than done.  And explaining logic or anything in general to a 20 month old is not that easy.

^^ Yup.  Many times I give in just to save my sanity. 

Xath

I have a terrible Candy Crush Saga (a.k.a. Kwazy Cupcakes) addiction.  I still have not actually paid money for the thing, but I spend entirely too much time playing it.  On my computer and my phone. I have, in the past, set the clock on my phone forward so I get more lives.  I may also have set up the game on my husband's phone so I could send myself more lives...and play on his account...  I have a problem.

Kaylee524

RedInLove said:

mary97 said:

keeumm said:

I have a zero tolerance policy for people who are victims of circumstances that they can control.  I cannot empathize with anyone who complains for the sake of complaining. I have had to deal with this more than I care to this week at work and with family members, and every time I find myself tuning out and ignoring the person. I just can't engage. I fear that it is impacting some of my relationships, especially with family, but I refuse to be brought down by someone else's drama.

 

Also, I just ate a muffin the size of my head. No regrets.

I completely understand, my MIL is one of those people and I can't tell you how many times I've almost bitten my tongue off.  I like her but it's hard to be around someone who's always talking about her woes but almost all of them have been self-induced.

Now I want a muffin.

This is BIL. He's been going on for years about how much his life sucks and what a fuck-up he's been. Which is 100% true. Yet he does NOTHING about it. We just ignore him, and I avoid him.

And I'll have a muffin too, please. Cranberry chocolate chip sounds good right now.

ETA spelling

Oh, I'm totally jumping on this bandwagon. DH's uncle constantly calls him when he's drunk (which is about 90% of the time he's awake) and complains about how terrible his life is because he's made so many poor decisions (he's been fired and on house arrest multiple times because of DUIs), but any time anyone tries to do anything to help him separate himself from the alcohol he absolutely refuses. I know I should be sympathetic - alcoholism is a really difficult obstacle to overcome - but I just can't. DH wants his grandpa and this uncle to come stay with us for several days this fall, but I really don't want him around my kid ...

Also, I'm making banana chocolate chip muffins tomorrow if anybody wants some. 

aweathers13

DH got home from work around 10:30 last night, I was all cuddled up on the couch with our pup who had her anal glands drained yesterday.  He says "It smells of farts in here".  To which I replied "oh it must be 'cause of Sadie's anal glands".  It wasn't Sadie.  It was me, I had been farting all night.  

spacepotatoes

kitchencolors said:

danabsd said:

Bliz1712 said:

cbrust said:

my somewhat related FFFC: I side eye parents who let their kids run the show. I'm the parent, I make the rules; you are the child, you follow them.

hahah Please report back when LO is a toddler and let me know if you have the same logic.  Some things are easier said than done.  And explaining logic or anything in general to a 20 month old is not that easy.

^^ Yup.  Many times I give in just to save my sanity. 

Pretty much the only parents who I side eye are parents who fail to recognize the bolded when dealing with their toddlers/children.  For example:

Parent: "Little Johnny, we're going swimming.  Do you want to put on sunscreen now?"
18-20 month old Johnny: "NO!!!!"
Parent: "But Johhhhnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeyyyyyy, you'll get sunburned if you don't put on sunscreen...."
18-20 month old Johnny: "NO!!!"

Well why the eff was it presented as a choice?  He's a toddler.  Tell him it's time to put on sunscreen.  Why make it into a discussion?

Your kid is throwing a fit because you are putting sunscreen on them and they don't like it?  You'll get a sympathetic glance from me.

You are engaging in an argument with your toddler about whether sunscreen will be worn?  You'll probably get a side eye.

I can't speak for @cbrust but this example was my interpretation of her OP. You don't try to reason with the toddler and have a conversation/negotiation about things that need to happen, you just try your best to make them happen. Of course, that doesn't prevent the toddler from trying his/her best to stop you

spacepotatoes

This toddler discussion reminds me of one friend who has a 3.5 year old. She decided when he was born that they weren't going to tell him "no" when he was doing something inappropriate (unless it was dangerous). They wanted him to understand why what he was doing was wrong and to think about it before doing it, so they opted to say "Let's make a better choice" instead. The kid is three. He has very little concept of "better choice" beyond playing on the living floor vs. playing on the kitchen floor.

ETA: I guess another FFFC would be that I judged the heck out of this at the time she first told me about it and seeing the results in action, I still do.

That+One+Girl

After taking the dog to the vet I stopped and got myself fast food. When I came home I did a quick pee and was very much looking forward to my hamburger and fries (I had even gotten my fav dipping sauce). My normally well behaved dog got up on the table ate all my fries and half my burger!! I was gone for less than 2min and the bag was in the center of the table.
Flame part: rather then tell my dog off and no like any normal person would I just sat on the floor and cried.

I feel like I am a bad pet owner and an even worse dog trainer. But pup is very happy with his treat so having a happy dog is good, right?

cbrust

spacepotatoes said:

kitchencolors said:

danabsd said:

Bliz1712 said:

cbrust said:

my somewhat related FFFC: I side eye parents who let their kids run the show. I'm the parent, I make the rules; you are the child, you follow them.

hahah Please report back when LO is a toddler and let me know if you have the same logic.  Some things are easier said than done.  And explaining logic or anything in general to a 20 month old is not that easy.

^^ Yup.  Many times I give in just to save my sanity. 

Pretty much the only parents who I side eye are parents who fail to recognize the bolded when dealing with their toddlers/children.  For example:

Parent: "Little Johnny, we're going swimming.  Do you want to put on sunscreen now?"
18-20 month old Johnny: "NO!!!!"
Parent: "But Johhhhnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeyyyyyy, you'll get sunburned if you don't put on sunscreen...."
18-20 month old Johnny: "NO!!!"

Well why the eff was it presented as a choice?  He's a toddler.  Tell him it's time to put on sunscreen.  Why make it into a discussion?

Your kid is throwing a fit because you are putting sunscreen on them and they don't like it?  You'll get a sympathetic glance from me.

You are engaging in an argument with your toddler about whether sunscreen will be worn?  You'll probably get a side eye.

I can't speak for @cbrust but this example was my interpretation of her OP. You don't try to reason with the toddler and have a conversation/negotiation about things that need to happen, you just try your best to make them happen. Of course, that doesn't prevent the toddler from trying his/her best to stop you

@spacepotatoes yes, exactly. Also relating to the post I had quoted about the 4mo old forward facing, I meant it more like I'm not going to bend the law and turn my infant FF because they "don't like it." Their safety will always come first. I can't explain to a 4mo old the logic and reasoning behind the safety of rear facing but that doesn't mean I'm not going to follow the law and do what pleases them. 

kshampeny

My FFFC:  I really don't like the pre made, Pillsbury style cinnamon rolls.  They just don't do it for me.  However, give me a delicious homemade one like they serve at the local cafe/diner where all the old people hang out to have their coffee, and I'm in heaven.  I'll eat one as big as my head slathered in butter on top of the frosting.  Damn.  Now I really want a cinnamon roll. :P

@kitchencolors My DH feels the same way.  Except he feels the concept of a choice shouldn't be presented until they turn 16.

ErikaLynn75

typeset said:

cbrust said:

my somewhat related FFFC: I side eye parents who let their kids run the show. I'm the parent, I make the rules; you are the child, you follow them.

Hee hee hee. 

My dog runs the show at our house. It's going to take some serious effort for this not to happen with the kid. At least with the dog, a piece of bacon or a car ride is all it takes to convince her to do things my way.

I am also guilty of trying to use logic/reason with the dog. For instance "Josie, don't bark at the UPS guy. We like him because he brings us presents." or "Josie, nobody is going to want to be friends with us if you keep being mean to all the other neighborhood doggies." 

sigh.... Things are not looking good for me as a parent.... I guess I better get my shit together before May....

spacepotatoes

kitchencolors said:

spacepotatoes said:

This toddler discussion reminds me of one friend who has a 3.5 year old. She decided when he was born that they weren't going to tell him "no" when he was doing something inappropriate (unless it was dangerous). They wanted him to understand why what he was doing was wrong and to think about it before doing it, so they opted to say "Let's make a better choice" instead. The kid is three. He has very little concept of "better choice" beyond playing on the living floor vs. playing on the kitchen floor.

ETA: I guess another FFFC would be that I judged the heck out of this at the time she first told me about it and seeing the results in action, I still do.

Here's a confession then!  We don't say "no".  If DD is doing something unsafe, I remove her, say "that's not safe" and remove the safety hazard.  If I want her to stop doing something, I say "stop please" and sign "stop" with no other reaction, then remove her ability to do the thing (almost always throwing her bottle and laughing or pulling my hair).  I'm sure at some point we may start using "no" or some more elaborate system, but for now it works.

I don't judge that at all! You are still communicating that what she's doing isn't good and why not, which is important. She can learn to make the association between her actions and whatever the issue is. But I've seen my friend using her method and literally all she says is "[Name], let's make a better choice, ok?" There is no telling him to stop, there is no physically removing him from what he's doing, there's no conversation about why what he's doing isn't ok. Sometimes, there are no better choices presented either. She just seems to think that she can tell him to make a better one and that's supposed to do the job.

mrspopsicle

I like the idea of not telling a toddler no and using other, more direct or descriptive language instead. Not only do toddlers hear no constantly, but it's also usually one of their favorite things to say/yell.

Obviously, I fail at this. If you ask my 17 month old what a cow says, she says "moo", a bird, "tweet", mommy, "no, no, no," complete with a finger shake. (FWIW I don't shake my finger at her. I think she gets that from the actions to three little monkeys)

cbrust

Jane C said:

Also, I can't wait until you have a toddler and see how easy it is to control them.  I think you have to pick your battles.  Don't let up on the major things especially safety and hygiene, but if your child wants to run around in only underwear for an hour at home- not worth the fight.

if this was directed at me... I didn't say anything about "controlling" my child. I grew up in a fairly strict house and from the time I was very young I was told what clothes to wear, how to do my hair, how to talk to people, etc. No way no how is that happening with me and my child. Want to wear a ridiculous outfit that in no way matches? go for it. Is your hair brushed? good enough for me. Things like brushing teeth won't be phrased like, "johnny do you want to go bursh your teeth now?" but instead, "Johnny, it's time to brush your teeth now." 

ETA: I'm all about empowering my child(ren) and allowing them to make choices for themselves as they get older. I think it teaches great responsibility. Choices like when it's bedtime, when we have to leave the park, etc are the parent's responsibility to make and not to be put up to a toddler. Choices like what shirt to wear, do you want apples or oranges with lunch, juice or milk, these shoes or those shoes, etc are great choices for little ones to make. I plan on using redirection as "discipline" for misbehaving as long as it is effective and hope to refrain from using "no" as much as I can. 

spacepotatoes

@kitchencolors Exactly!

Just to be clear, my issue isn't with not saying no, I totally agree that it can be reserved for serious things. But the alternative has to get the same point across effectively and I was just giving one example that didn't. If used appropriately on a consistent basis, I'm sure it would actually serve its intended purpose.

tjkdlhb

cbrust said:

Luckyu317 said:

I think my SIL is an idiot because she already turned our 4 month old nephew's car seat forward facing. Why? ''Because he cried so much when we put him in it''.

that's not even legal! so if he cries forward facing is she going to take him out and just hold him while she drives??

my somewhat related FFFC: I side eye parents who let their kids run the show. I'm the parent, I make the rules; you are the child, you follow them.

Thank you.
My daughter has been crying all afternoon for cereal (starting 20 mins after lunch which she didn't eat)  So I gave her lunch back to her.  I will give her cereal after she eats more lunch, but I am NOT letting her eat cereal all day every day.  Nor am I willing to set myself up for making extra meals for the next 16 years.

Jennyinheaven

My FFFC is I totally side eye woman who bring their SO or H to every single baby related appointment. I mean my H comes to some and tries especially for ultrasound appointments but their are women that go to my practice who bring their mates to non stress appointments to just sit there etc, plus every single pre natel appointment when half the time all you do is pee in a cup and get weighed

tjkdlhb

Bliz1712 said:

cbrust said:

my somewhat related FFFC: I side eye parents who let their kids run the show. I'm the parent, I make the rules; you are the child, you follow them.

hahah Please report back when LO is a toddler and let me know if you have the same logic.  Some things are easier said than done.  And explaining logic or anything in general to a 20 month old is not that easy.

Yes... but if you do let them get away with tantrums, then they end up still acting like toddlers when they are in kindergarten... or worse, high school.  It's much easier to do now than later!

IBackBevo

I side eye parents who are not flexible. Sometimes it is not about who is in charge or "running the show, " but about what works for your family.

kshampeny

kitchencolors said:

@kshampney & anyone else in the "choices and toddlers" discussion... the part that strikes me as odd is that I get the impression that people feel like they're empowering their children by giving them choices.  It just doesn't seem empowering when there's a "right answer" and it's not actually a choice.

You want to choose which color shirt to wear? Go for it (unless it's an event where something specific needs to be worn).  Which bath towel to use?  Go for it. Which book we're going to read? Go for it.  Those are all great things to choose.

Whether to buckle the car seat, whether it's time for bed, whether the poopy diaper needs changing, or whether we wear sunscreen when we're in the sun... those are not choices.  Presenting them as such is confusing and frustrating for everyone involved.

Exactly!  For things that have no real repercussions, like what clothes to wear, what toy to play with, what game to play, it's great to let them assert their independence.  But when it's something that there really isn't a choice in because it is in their best interest, either health or safety wise, to do it the way you say, then it shouldn't be approached as a choice.  Otherwise, like you said, it is frustrating for you and confusing to the child why they are allowed a choice with no argument from you in certain situations but not others.

ThereBeDragons

Jennyinheaven said:

My FFFC is I totally side eye woman who bring their SO or H to every single baby related appointment. I mean my H comes to some and tries especially for ultrasound appointments but their are women that go to my practice who bring their mates to non stress appointments to just sit there etc, plus every single pre natel appointment when half the time all you do is pee in a cup and get weighed

I wish I could leave DH at home. He doesn't like doctors and is just a pain in my rear at all of my many appointments. Unfortunately I was informed that I no longer had driving privileges at 22 weeks so I have to have a driver/nanny with me anytime I leave the house. He hates the bp/weighing appointments maybe even more than I do and would be so much happier if he could just skip all appointments until its time to drive me to L&D to deliver the baby.

ThereBeDragons

In my mind, letting them get away with it is giving them whatever they're tantruming to get. I've had kids I watched have epic meltdowns when their at-home tantrum was ignored and they weren't given whatever they wanted Right Now. I tried to avoid taking tantrum-y kids out of the house when I babysat through since there never seems to be a good solution. That won't work when its my kid... But I also hope I won't be the parent who gives the kid anything she wants at the grocery store just to keep her quiet.

Jennyinheaven

Kageer said:

I include people.com and usmagazine.com on my list of websites that I visit daily.

I like to read US and People magazine s but am to ashamed to actually purchase them , instead I get a pedicure at a place that has both to get my fix

RachelCA29

My FFFC: My sister and sister-in-law (her wife) got me an AMAZING baby shower gift, a Coach diaper bag filled with baby essentials. I'm so spoiled! The weird thing is, she put a package of size 2 SWIM diapers in there. Like, of all the random things to give me.

Firstly, we are planning to cloth diaper (which she is well aware of), so the only disposables I really need are newborn diapers for at the hospital and the first few days while we get settled. Secondly, SWIM diapers? No one we know (my sister or I) has a pool. We are not beach people. And they are size 2, so they won't even fit him this summer. My husband joked that maybe this was her way of telling us she's getting a pool installed at her house.

I was very happy to receive a package of regular, size 1 diapers from my aunt, cloth diapers or not disposables are always good to have on hand. But I am planning on taking the swim diapers back. Those things are expensive, so I can exchange them for the newborn size ones we need. But then I feel guilty about doing that since her gift, overall, was so awesome!

I feel like such an entitled bitch about all this. But seriously, SWIM diapers? And like, 30 of them?!