Baby Shower - help!

darkangel42 · March 2014

Firstly, I'm new so hi all! Secondly, I moved to the US from England so I keep getting a bit lost with cultural differences so please bear with me.

My MIL announced/warned me yesterday that she'll be throwing a baby shower (I have a daughter already but didn't have a baby shower for her) and gave me some tasks to get me involved - and then vanished, leaving me to it so I can't ask her anything just now. I really appreciate it but I'm a bit overwhelmed since I've never been to a baby shower as it's not really done back home.

The first task is to choose a theme/colorscheme and I've narrowed it down to 4 (baby is a girl, hence the pink) and would appreciate some input:

-Mad Hatter's tea party with pink, purple, white

-Sugar Spice and All Things Nice (candy and chocolate) with white, light brown and pink

-Dr Seuss with pink, red and white OR pink, blue and white

-Boston Pink Sox with white and pink (possibly with navy blue too)

My second task is to come up with a gift list and honestly, I'd be happier if someone took me out back and drowned me in the pond. What's socially acceptable to ask for (or not)? So far I have a few things in my list from $7 to $65, ranging from pacifiers to bedding and a high chair and we don't need anything big since the car seat, stroller and crib have already been sorted. Anything else I need to know about the gifting side of it?

saraapuzzo24 · March 2014

You can go to a store an make a baby registry. You basically walk around the store and pick what you want/need and it will be loaded onto a registry. And guests will have an idea of what you need.

weddingringsandbabythings · March 2014

The Mad Hatter's tea party sounds adorable. As far as gifts go, I'm really no help. I just put blankets and stuff on mine, because of all the baby showers I've ever been to, I'm the only one who ever buys off the persons registry..so I figured making one was pointless. Good luck!

darkangel42 · March 2014

I've been told to make a list or registry so that's what I'm going to do, my MIL is a rather scary lady so I get the feeling it isn't optional! I have a registry, it's great, I can add specific things from any store and I have a paper list which is really vague that I'm working from. I'm just a bit lost as to what to actually put on the registry since you have to be specific - I want a baby monitor but don't have a specific one in mind and there's no way to generalise.

We have registry cards coming that explain what it is and where to find ours so hopefully people will follow the list.

When I had my daughter back in England, I kept a list(pen and paper, I'm old-school) and just crossed off whenever someone asked what I wanted which is far easier but for some reason everyone's determined to have a registry kill the element of surprise. *sadface*

yllwstrbrst · March 2014

Love the Mad Hatter idea! I have two registries, with some items that possibly overlap but the great thing about a registry is being able to return items if you receive duplicates, as you will know what store they came from and can get store credit to fill any gaps. I think you are doing a great job of giving multiple price options. In the past, I have went halves with a friend for an expensive baby gift off of the registry because we KNOW it's what they want, so don't be afraid to put some items over 100 dollars if you need them. This is my first shower, but as a guest to MANY, I know people buy off the register and that needs to just be met with gratitude as well. People are just so excited!

darkangel42 · March 2014

That's a relief!

I have just the one registry with babylist but it has things on from various sites through a magic button that adds the link for me to the thing I want! I've been at this all day and still have only 20 things in the registry so I need to figure out what else to put into the list since we have a lot of guests and relatives who live further out (plus my family back in England who want to send things).

I got side-tracked trying to figure out bottles - when I had my daughter, they had tall ones or short ones from about 4 brands and this was only 5 years ago. Life was simpler back then.

I'm thinking, for anything I don't want specifics of, maybe just a hand-written list to live by the phone so when people who aren't online ask what we need, they can be told "onesies in 0-3" or "bibs and wipes" so I don't have to plan every gift down to the detail and then it can be crossed off. I also put a note on the top of the registry page that says gift cards are fine too because I'm running out of ideas!

If I've missed anything out, we should figure it out pretty quickly and can fix it - babybrain has set in already so I can't fill in the gaps for myself right now.

Thankyou!

darkangel42 · March 2014

And I've only just now found the Baby Showers board. I feel really silly for not noticing it til just now so going to post my questions in there instead

kareik01 · March 2014

It kind of depends what area of the country you're in it seems. Around my area, it's uncommon for a guest to give a gift that isn't on the registry. And if they do, it's usually the diapers, wipes, or basic onesies that everyone knows you'll need plenty of. Also common in my area is personalized gifts...like a hand knitted blanket from grandmothers or homemade baby wipes.

I don't know about your babylist you're making a registry with, but a lot of stores offer you discounts on things you have on your registry that aren't purchased for you, so I recommend adding even some expensive things you know guests won't buy because it can possibly save you money on it later.

darkangel42 · March 2014

Am I allowed to post links? Hope so - it's https://babyli.st/faq the site is actually called babylist, not be be confused with a baby list as in list of baby things.

I've only got about 20 things on the list and they're from about 6 different stores. I did consider he discount for using the registries individually but for the couple of items I want from each, it only adds up to a few dollars per site so, for us, it's worth the convenience of being in one place rather than the discount at various places with the possible exception of Amazon. I can always throw the registries together individually later once I know what I definitely want to get, there's still a while to go before the shower.

My family and friends are not big on personalised things, they prefer to be guided in what to get (such a big family that there needs to be some kind of organisation) but as for shopping on or off registry, I really have no idea what's usual where we are and we're kind of a mixed bag of people from all over the country and the world so it might not help if I did!

kareik01 · March 2014

Hmm, I'd never heard of that before, it looks like a good place to go! Looks like a great idea for you with family so far away!

There's nothing unusual no matter where you are. It's your baby and only you know what you need/want

darkangel42 · March 2014

I'm not planning and hosting don't worry!

I'm just choosing the theme (then letting our resident party-planner go nuts with it) and writing a gift list but it's overwhelming since I've never even been to a baby shower before or had to make a gift list. (I'm 12 and 15 years older than my siblings and almost 20 years older than my cousins then had DD1 at 20 so was given a lot of baby things as hand-me-down which meant only having to get what filled the gaps.

I'm very nervous of new things and not know what's going on so the MIL in easing me in gently by letting me help. If she sprang it as a surprise, I'd have had a nervous breakdown so this is the lesser of 2 evils.

darkangel42 · March 2014

Thing is, I had my first nearly 6 years ago, in another country and have moved house twice since then so I don't have everything .

The bigger bits are sorted already so I don't need to stress about stroller and crib etc but MIL said to make a list with plenty of things on it because of all the guests and relatives who live further away and had asked what to get too (the registry is dual-purpose for the shower and the relatives).

I'm the only foreigner in the family (and indeed the community - yay, rural areas) so that makes me a bit of a novelty (for want of a better way to explain it) which means we've had quite a few people get in touch and slyly ask if there will be a shower so they have an excuse to over and make me say stuff in my "exotic" accent.

I know that I'm basically a performing monkey but it would be nice to follow shower conventions as much as I can since it's a cultural thing over here that I've never had a chance to experience before.

rlyttle · March 2014

Do you have a Babies R Us in your area? You can pick a baby store and start a registry there. You can even start it online if you don't want to go to the store. GL!!

darkangel42 · March 2014

We live in the middle of nowhere so "in my area" is a matter of opinion! There's one in the state and it's not a huge state so you could probably argue it's nearby but it's only a small section tacked on to the back of a small-ish Toys R Us

I've started a mixed registry with bits from various stores so people can order online or pick up from stores near them. I figure that way anyone who'd rather go physically get the thing can just choose something from a store they can get to and the rest can just click through and have it mailed to themself or me so logistically, I think we're all set.

Is there anything I'm NOT supposed to ask for as a shower gift? I don't want to offend anyone by accidentally putting in something inappropriate.

darkangel42 · March 2014

Oh dear. I've just found another discussion where everyone pounced on the MTB for having a shower when it's not her first! It's not my first either

I didn't choose this, my MIL was already plotting it with our local party planner and a few relatives when she told me it was happening and she gave me the task of a gift-list. Now I just feel bad about the whole thing.

dragonfly711 · March 2014

I totally get the culture shock. The teacher I work with is from England and they don't do them there.

Well first. I love the Dr Seuss theme but I am bias since that is my theme for our nursery.

You need well you don't have to but most make a registry online or you can go to Babis R Us and start one there and add online later. I did one for Babies R Us and for Amazon. I put more expensive items on Amazon since I saw they were cheaper.

Put whatever you need or want on a registry. Some people love the registry so that way they don't have to think of what to get. Others don't use it at all.

I have things from $10.00 to a few hundred dollars on my registry. Most of the time they say put more than you think. Some people might go in together on a huge item.

You need a guest list. It can be from 20 people to more. I think mine is about 60 people. Family friends plus where I used to work since they were like family for 16 yrs.
feel free to contact me any time if you have questions.

Also I have found so much Dr Seuss stuff if you need places to look. If you decide on that as your theme.

Good luck!!!

dragonfly711 · March 2014

darkangel42 said:
Oh dear. I've just found another discussion where everyone pounced on the MTB for having a shower when it's not her first! It's not my first either

I didn't choose this, my MIL was already plotting it with our local party planner and a few relatives when she told me it was happening and she gave me the task of a gift-list. Now I just feel bad about the whole thing.

I would not worry. You are not putting it on your MiL is. She just needs some things from you. I am going to a baby shower tomorrow for a friend who is a 2 time mom. Her first is 8. A few friends are doing the shower for her. It does happen. Plus this is new for you since you don't have them in England!!!

darkangel42 · March 2014

dragonfly711 said:

Oh dear. I've just found another discussion where everyone pounced on the MTB for having a shower when it's not her first! It's not my first either

I didn't choose this, my MIL was already plotting it with our local party planner and a few relatives when she told me it was happening and she gave me the task of a gift-list. Now I just feel bad about the whole thing.
I would not worry. You are not putting it on your MiL is. She just needs some things from you. I am going to a baby shower tomorrow for a friend who is a 2 time mom. Her first is 8. A few friends are doing the shower for her. It does happen. Plus this is new for you since you don't have them in England!!!

Thankyou! Everyone was so mean to the MTB on the other post and I don't want that at all, I'm just doing what MiL said to do.

Thankyou for the offer but I'm not dealing with decorations or guest lists or anything, only the theme and gift list are on me (thankfully!). We have a lovely lady who's putting the party side together once I give her a solid answer on theme and my MIL is dealing with the guest list since she has all the family's contact details and I only have one friend so far (I've only lived here 2 months and it's rural so hard to meet new people). She's keeping me in the loop about what's going on and I get to choose small details like cake flavour and narrowing down cocktail recipes but organising it is all her. I wouldn't know where to start even it it was socially acceptable to throw your own!

I'm leaning more towards the Tea Party because it's funny and clever since I'm from the land of afternoon tea and my husband is from Boston.

darkangel42 · March 2014

MiL already has the non-specific gifts list and the info for the registry, she can do whatever it is you're supposed to do with it because I have no idea.

She's dealing with the guest list too but I'm socially inept so I can't see her inviting lots of people.

meggyski · March 2014

You might consider registering with Amazon because they have a handy "registry suggestion" tool which gives you all of the categories you may want to fill. Also, their prices and selection are great, as is their return policy (and in a rural area and with guests far and wide, people might be more comfortable with online shopping). You definitely don't have to fill out all of the categories, but I find their lists very helpful. They also have a "universal registry" button so you can add things from other websites to your Amazon list. I used it for my wedding and it was great.

Oh, and Mad Hatter is my favorite theme of the ones you suggested. Good luck!

Ciardasully · March 2014

Oooh, I love the Boston Pink Sox theme idea.

darkangel42 · March 2014

ARGH Meggyski! A lot of my registry has amazon items and I didn't know they had the feature to add on items from elsewhere or I'd have used that!

My registry is near enough done now and I don't want to shuffle everything over to amazon after how long it took me to do in the first place - I will be telling my OH's cousin though, she's a couple of weeks behind me so hopefully it'll help her out.

Baby Shower - help!

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