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September 2014 Moms
UO
This discussion has been closed.
Re: UO
PREACH!!!
See I guess I said it wrong. A few nights here and there that's fine for a night out or overnight getaway. But for weeks at a time to go party in cancun or NYC with your friends when the baby isn't even a year old? Eh that's not for me.
The church nursery thing is silly. Of course I left my child a few months old at a church nursery or something. I'm not that mom who can't be away from her child. I'm the mom who prefers to be around her child and would choose not to leave him for long periods of time constantly like some women I see. Trust me, there are days I'm excited he is going to school but everyday things, a night out or away every so often is not what I'm talking about.
Those who can go on weekly, monthly date nights that's fantastic. We don't have that available too us too often especially the first year and a half when we were stationed far from family. That's healthy totally! I'm really talking more about those people who rather leave their child behind to go on a vacation every chance they get like some I have seen lately.
BFP 1/4/2014 EDD September 14 2014
You can't say you don't judge others when you clearly did in your original post. DH and I started having date nights when DS was just a few months old and we went to Miami for 6 days in November. We have DS stay at MIL's every couple of months for a night so we can get out and enjoy being a married couple. It's fine if you don't want to go out, but you shouldn't make others feel bad for wanting to spend some alone time with their SO.
--MOBILE QUOTE FAIL--
I'm sorry for the long quote tree, I'm mobile...
I'll admit I hate people who get to take trips without their children and just their spouse... It's because I'm jealous! I absolutely love and adore my child and want to be around her a lot, but having some time alone to reconnect with my husband is very important. It's important in every relationship. Just because someone goes on a week long vacation without their children doesn't mean they don't spend every waking moment without them the rest of the time. I really wish my parents or my ILs lived closer so we could do some quick overnight trips for just the two of us!
I fucking love you
AND maybe it was judging in my first post but I didn't mean too. I was just pointing out examples of two people I know this past week who are leaving their child for the 3 rd time in 2 year (not with their husbands but friends) I don't think they are bad people or bad parents, I just could not do that myself. I am by no mean trying to make anyone feel bad for spending time with their husband alone. That was not my intention. This was all simply an opinion I have that I KNOW is unpopular. Hence the Reason I posted it here.
BFP 1/4/2014 EDD September 14 2014
Will I be ready for an overnight away before my first LO is 2? I can't say for sure...but I am open to getting everyone's needs met.
EXACTLY!
THIS!!! It's all I kept thinking about... How do you possibly know what caused a person to break down?? Also, I agree with PP, at least it's not you, have some compassion!! I think some of you are just asking for some CARma!
That is what in happy with.
BFP 1/4/2014 EDD September 14 2014
---ugh, quote box fail---
I heard an interview on NPR with a young woman whose family were members. She got kicked out for questioning something simple, I can't remember what, and her family disowned her as a result. It was very interesting to hear her POV as someone removed from the group. I think she wrote a book about it called Banished.
This made my (long, miserable) day better.
Yep... To each their own. DH and I look forward to flying to Sweden, spend a few days with the in-laws, leaving LO with grandma there and hopping over to Italy, Spain or Greece for a week. We are not partiers. I don't even drink but I already know DH and I will need that is time. I also know some of my greatest memories as a child were spending a few days with grandparents and I fully trust them.
I just don't think taking 3 vacations alone is that bad. If anything take the LO's with you when they are older and can remember.
Maybe it bugs me because this girl really doesn't like her son it seems. She always makes post that make him sound like a burden. And that her vacations have nothing to do with her husband or her son (especially a husband who is gone on deployments constantly to begin with).
BFP 1/4/2014 EDD September 14 2014
We got a sitter and had a date night when he was a month old, and my parents have done two overnights for us so we could go out and have fun... it is a great break and time to reconnect and then we're always more than ready to go pick him up.
I love my son to bits but I'm human and sometimes I need a break from being on mom duty -- girls nights are great and all, but even better if I can do that WITH my husband.
S14 August Siggy Challenge.....ALL OF THE ALCOHOLS
And again, we go on date nights. You act like I refuse to leave my child ever. No I just choose not to leave him over night. My marriage is perfectly healthy. We laugh and have fun and it's not all about or son. There is Plenty of time spent with just us. We are more then happy.
BFP 1/4/2014 EDD September 14 2014
I think every couple should take atleast one vacation a year for just the couple- no family included. Does this mean an extravagant get away? No, it could merely mean a weekend trip. Let's face it when baby grows up it's back to just being a couple and if you spent the entire 18+ years revolving around baby, then where does that leave your relationship with your spouse? I've seen too many marriages that loose sight of it. Granted I also think a family should take a family vacation or little weekend once a year as well- atleast once baby is old enough to actually participate. I know it may not always be possible financially but that's why I say a weekend trip- something inexpensive but memorable. I've also seen families that neglect creating those family memories because they feel entitled to only vacation as a means of getting away from their kids.
Next topic:
I have a 2010 Toyota still under warranty and maintained monthly. In December while driving over the Coronado bridge(Google it if you're not familiar) the hood of my car without warning became unlatched and flew up blocking my entire view of my windshield. Might I add less than a week prior I attended a funeral for my uncle who died whole serving in Korea after his vehicle somehow went over a bridge. All I could think is- my God now I'm going to die the same way. I was able to keep calm and slow my car down while putting on the hazards and had no side lane to pull over to only the side of the bridge I was on. I got as close to the barricade as I could with my side mirrors and the. Tried to get out of the cat to somehow securely rig the hood so I could get over the bridge and to a mechanic. As I tried opening my door, people began flying by cursing and honking their horns.. No one bothered to help me or pull over to stop traffic so I could get out of my car. After at least 8 minutes I finally managed to do so. It was a horrible experience and I was so shaken up and rattled that no one even bothered to slow down or help when I was obviously distressed and trapped in a bad situation.
That traffic was definitely not my fault but all the other dicks who were too bothered to help out someone in need.
Again. No one is saying anything about OVERNIGHT even...just TIME away. TIME away is important.
S14 August Siggy Challenge.....ALL OF THE ALCOHOLS
S14 August Siggy Challenge.....ALL OF THE ALCOHOLS
no, you rent the hotel room to bang your husband in the elevator, hot tub, storage closet not the bed
Although, I'm jealous of your once a month date night. We're in short supply of sitters for our three kids.
Thanks Trebek. Quite possibly a reading comp fail on my part, but I read it as full of implications. I took the caveat to mean that people in bad marriages didn't have to live up to the quote, and to me the caveat should have been more clear.
My parents divorced after a tumultuous 2 years of separation when I was 6 and my Mom raised my brother and I alone for over two years until she remarried. I would never imply that a single mother or unmarried couple would be incapable of being good parents.
My caveat isn't that a bad marriage doesn't have to live up to it, but that I'm not condoning the quote to universally apply, say if a wife should stay with an abusive husband to be a "good wife."
Fair enough. I get bristly and defensive about this because though she drives me nuts, my mom was a fantastic single mom.
First, shit happens. Get over it.
Second, it isn't just the car breaking down that causes a traffic jam. It is the rubber necking jerks (probably judging said broken down car) who slow down traffic. So the next time you ride by that broken down car on your high horse glaring at that poor soul holding you up, remember you are the jerk slowing down traffic.
BFP#1 4/17/2013 EDD 12/25/2013, MC 5/17/2013 8 weeks 3 days D&C 5/18/2013
BFP#2 1/20/2014 EDD 9/28/2014, Baby Evie born on 9/23/2014 at 8:50pm. 6 lbs 15 oz!
I hear you, it could imply that people in the same boat (whichever boat it might be) not by choice are inferior. BUT I think sometimes people say it instead of sharing a whole background story.