I mentioned this in the other thread, but I have no problem with the grandparents giving Easter baskets or Christmas stockings. IMO, If it bothers you enough to tell them they aren't allowed to (give your child a gift), your priorities are messed up.
I think if someone wants to do something nice for you, let them. This brought to you by trying to plan something fun for my mom's birthday and having her tell my brother and me that she doesn't want us to spend money, doesn't want us to go out of our way, and doesn't want my kids' schedules to be negatively affected. Blah, blah, blah. Birthdays come once a year, Mom, just tell us how you'd like to celebrate (or choose from some of the suggestions we've tossed out) and enjoy your day. If we didn't want to do it, we wouldn't be offering.
Seriously, where the hell is everyone else this morning? I can't be the only one with UOs. ETA: Good morning, @MeatballEsq!
I mentioned this in the other thread, but I have no problem with the grandparents giving Easter baskets or Christmas stockings. IMO, If it bothers you enough to tell them they aren't allowed to (give your child a gift), your priorities are messed up.
So I'm guilty of this -- not of actually telling them they can't give a gift or being anything less than grateful for it, because that would be rude. But definitely of thinking to myself "This is so unnecessary for the kids to receive three baskets, stockings, whatever." I'm pretty sure I've gotten over it though ;-) If the grandparents want to spoil the kids, it's OK.
I mentioned this in the other thread, but I have no problem with the grandparents giving Easter baskets or Christmas stockings. IMO, If it bothers you enough to tell them they aren't allowed to (give your child a gift), your priorities are messed up.
So I'm guilty of this -- not of actually telling them they can't give a gift or being anything less than grateful for it, because that would be rude. But definitely of thinking to myself "This is so unnecessary for the kids to receive three baskets, stockings, whatever." I'm pretty sure I've gotten over it though ;-) If the grandparents want to spoil the kids, it's OK.
I don't like using the phrase "you need help" to internet strangers or anyone else who might genuinely need it, unless you're actually offering it. For example, "if you're so reliant on your DH that you fall apart when he's not there, you need help" rubs me the wrong way... esp since DH IS the help...
Not an actually quote, just a sentiment I've seen thrown around...
I don't like using the phrase "you need help" to internet strangers or anyone else who might genuinely need it, unless you're actually offering it. For example, "if you're so reliant on your DH that you fall apart when he's not there, you need help" rubs me the wrong way... esp since DH IS the help...
Not an actually quote, just a sentiment I've seen thrown around...
I agree, it screams "You must not be as capable as everyone else."
Me: 27 DH: 28
Diagnosis: PCOS, irregular cycles, old lady eggs. DH is fine.
Started TTC in January 2010. BFP December 25, 2011 between IF appts.
I mentioned this in the other thread, but I have no problem with the grandparents giving Easter baskets or Christmas stockings. IMO, If it bothers you enough to tell them they aren't allowed to (give your child a gift), your priorities are messed up.
So I'm guilty of this -- not of actually telling them they can't give a gift or being anything less than grateful for it, because that would be rude. But definitely of thinking to myself "This is so unnecessary for the kids to receive three baskets, stockings, whatever." I'm pretty sure I've gotten over it though ;-) If the grandparents want to spoil the kids, it's OK.
Haha! You must get that from your mom
bahahaha, good one. I never thought of it that way. I am becoming the same PITA that my mom is to me.
I don't like using the phrase "you need help" to internet strangers or anyone else who might genuinely need it, unless you're actually offering it. For example, "if you're so reliant on your DH that you fall apart when he's not there, you need help" rubs me the wrong way... esp since DH IS the help...
Not an actually quote, just a sentiment I've seen thrown around...
I agree, it screams "You must not be as capable as everyone else."
Totally agree. I find it sarcastic and demeaning. Everyone handles situations differently, and to say that indicates that you think you're better, stronger, more competent than another person. So rude.
I'm actually not terribly bothered by the idea that middle school boys might be "distracted" by girls in leggings or low-cut tops or whatever. While, yes, I think we need to be teaching boys to respect women, FFS, they're adolescent hormone factories who get inadvertent boners all the time. (Sidenote: I have a feeling that every male administrator recommending these rules is flashing back to the accidental embarrassing boners they got during puberty and consider that far more "distracting" than the initial sight of a girl in leggings, and maybe they should just up and say so.) Maybe while boys are learning how their bodies and minds function together, girls can be respectful of *them* by wearing more modest clothing. Respect can go both ways. I'd rather we teach that.
On a somewhat related note, we should all realize our children are different than others. Some may be easy kids, others a little more spirited, if you will. We shouldn't judge until you've walked in that moms shoes.
On a somewhat related note, we should all realize our children are different than others. Some may be easy kids, others a little more spirited, if you will. We shouldn't judge until you've walked in that moms shoes.
Was just saying this last night. One of my friends has an almost 3 year old so has declared herself the expert on all things toddler. Her DD is spirited and wild and adorable but not a thing like DS. I've vowed never to give unsolicited parenting advice because it's so annoying. Their kid is not my kid after all.
@dimples12 I hear ya! My Mil bought him dive sticks and size 10 sandals for Christmas, in addition to a bunch of other stuff. Umm what? I don't even want to store that shit. My parents are completely guilty of spoiling too.
And FTR I wasn't referring to you on the baskets. I was thinking of the conversation that was had back around Christmas
I mentioned this in the other thread, but I have no problem with the grandparents giving Easter baskets or Christmas stockings. IMO, If it bothers you enough to tell them they aren't allowed to (give your child a gift), your priorities are messed up.
So I'm guilty of this -- not of actually telling them they can't give a gift or being anything less than grateful for it, because that would be rude. But definitely of thinking to myself "This is so unnecessary for the kids to receive three baskets, stockings, whatever." I'm pretty sure I've gotten over it though ;-) If the grandparents want to spoil the kids, it's OK.
haha..I just use it as my excuse to not do those things for DD myself. In fact, I know they're already doing a basket for Easter, so if I get something for DD I'll just pop it in their basket. I'm lazy.
I mentioned this in the other thread, but I have no problem with the grandparents giving Easter baskets or Christmas stockings. IMO, If it bothers you enough to tell them they aren't allowed to (give your child a gift), your priorities are messed up.
I'm probably one of these people. I have no issues with someone giving Easter gifts and I'm pretty sure my MIL does do a stocking and I haven't said she couldn't, but it does bother me a bit. I can't remember if she did an actual basket last year either. But again, I'll own up to the fact that the spoiling bothers me a bit. I think if she said oh Santa and the Easter Bunny come to our house that would irk me. I feel like the grandparents should give the parents a chance to do all the things they got a chance to do for their own kids.
I'm sure this won't make sense to others, but it's just the way I feel. I think part of the difficulty or issue is that my family didn't do that (grandparents giving stockings and Easter baskets), so it's new to me.
I'm totally fine with my parents giving B a basket/stocking whatever. Heck I wish my MIL would put in 1/4 that effort.
My UO: I don't think your car payment should be the same if not more than your house. This brought to you by the guy at the car show wanting to sell me a 2015 Tahoe that was $60K+. Umm...sorry dude. I'm not going to be paying $1000 for the next 5 YEARS for a car. What are people thinking?
I don't mind my IL's spoiling my kids. What I mind is my MIL bringing over spoiled ketchup because it was "only spoiled by 6 months (read 10) and your kids will probably get more use of it than me." Um...no. The trash will get the use out of your two Sam's club size bottles of spoiled ketchup. AND the two spoiled yogurts you brought with it. WTH? Thanks, but no thanks. Pet Peeve= overly spoiled foods.
Bear with me, I am home with a stomach bug today and my posts might seem off because I'm hurting.
I mentioned this in the other thread, but I have no problem with the grandparents giving Easter baskets or Christmas stockings. IMO, If it bothers you enough to tell them they aren't allowed to (give your child a gift), your priorities are messed up.
I'm probably one of these people. I have no issues with someone giving Easter gifts and I'm pretty sure my MIL does do a stocking and I haven't said she couldn't, but it does bother me a bit. I can't remember if she did an actual basket last year either. But again, I'll own up to the fact that the spoiling bothers me a bit. I think if she said oh Santa and the Easter Bunny come to our house that would irk me. I feel like the grandparents should give the parents a chance to do all the things they got a chance to do for their own kids.
I'm sure this won't make sense to others, but it's just the way I feel. I think part of the difficulty or issue is that my family didn't do that (grandparents giving stockings and Easter baskets), so it's new to me.
Yes! I understand this, and this is what drives it for me too. Grandparents got the chance to make all that magic for their kids. I want DH and I to have the same opportunity. And like you, my brother and I only ever got the stocking from Santa, the one basket from the bunny, etc. I know times change, and every person is different, but this sums up perfectly why I can't just roll with it and have to remind myself not to be a bitch, that they're not trying to be a pain, they're just being grandparents they way they know how.
I mentioned this in the other thread, but I have no problem with the grandparents giving Easter baskets or Christmas stockings. IMO, If it bothers you enough to tell them they aren't allowed to (give your child a gift), your priorities are messed up.
I'm probably one of these people. I have no issues with someone giving Easter gifts and I'm pretty sure my MIL does do a stocking and I haven't said she couldn't, but it does bother me a bit. I can't remember if she did an actual basket last year either. But again, I'll own up to the fact that the spoiling bothers me a bit. I think if she said oh Santa and the Easter Bunny come to our house that would irk me. I feel like the grandparents should give the parents a chance to do all the things they got a chance to do for their own kids.
I'm sure this won't make sense to others, but it's just the way I feel. I think part of the difficulty or issue is that my family didn't do that (grandparents giving stockings and Easter baskets), so it's new to me.
But they're not taking away your chance to do those things for your own kids...
I mentioned this in the other thread, but I have no problem with the grandparents giving Easter baskets or Christmas stockings. IMO, If it bothers you enough to tell them they aren't allowed to (give your child a gift), your priorities are messed up.
I'm probably one of these people. I have no issues with someone giving Easter gifts and I'm pretty sure my MIL does do a stocking and I haven't said she couldn't, but it does bother me a bit. I can't remember if she did an actual basket last year either. But again, I'll own up to the fact that the spoiling bothers me a bit. I think if she said oh Santa and the Easter Bunny come to our house that would irk me. I feel like the grandparents should give the parents a chance to do all the things they got a chance to do for their own kids.
I'm sure this won't make sense to others, but it's just the way I feel. I think part of the difficulty or issue is that my family didn't do that (grandparents giving stockings and Easter baskets), so it's new to me.
But they're not taking away your chance to do those things for your own kids...
I know. I realize in some ways it's irrational. I guess I just want to make sure it doesn't cross the line into things like MIL buying a bike or something that we would want to give a kid. I get that a second basket in no way diminishes the bunny's contributions.
I also wouldn't have a problem with grandparents buying C a bike. I'm not saying there's something wrong with you feeling that way! I don't think the child will necessarily remember who it came from, but the fun they had learning to ride it with you
I mentioned this in the other thread, but I have no problem with the grandparents giving Easter baskets or Christmas stockings. IMO, If it bothers you enough to tell them they aren't allowed to (give your child a gift), your priorities are messed up.
I'm probably one of these people. I have no issues with someone giving Easter gifts and I'm pretty sure my MIL does do a stocking and I haven't said she couldn't, but it does bother me a bit. I can't remember if she did an actual basket last year either. But again, I'll own up to the fact that the spoiling bothers me a bit. I think if she said oh Santa and the Easter Bunny come to our house that would irk me. I feel like the grandparents should give the parents a chance to do all the things they got a chance to do for their own kids.
I'm sure this won't make sense to others, but it's just the way I feel. I think part of the difficulty or issue is that my family didn't do that (grandparents giving stockings and Easter baskets), so it's new to me.
But they're not taking away your chance to do those things for your own kids...
No, they're not, but it can come across as trying to compete. I think this all depends on they type of in-laws (or parents) we each have. And right now, it doesn't matter much, because Lily won't remember that, but she will someday and that matters to me. I think this is just another example of things we all do differently that other think are silly. I'm not trying squash the discussion, just wanted to throw that point out there.
My parents buy almost all of my kids' clothes. My mother loves to shop for them and buys a ton, plus it saves me money, so I let her. I could see if I had some really special gift plan and the swiped the idea or something, but I'm so ok with letting them buy the kids whatever they want.
My grandparents always got us Easter baskets, stockings etc. I certainly don't feel I was spoiled or that my parents were deprived of making those memories with me. If anything, it was just something else to look forward to when I was old enough to understand.
My UO: just because you WANT something doesn't mean you will be good at it, or should have it. This brought to you by my nursing orientation last night. Everyone is not meant to be a nurse. If you want to have me tell you otherwise when you've heard nursing school is "so hard" I'm not going to disagree with you. It IS hard. You could literally kill someone if you fuck up at your job. It's supposed to be hard.
My grandparents always got us Easter baskets, stockings etc. I certainly don't feel I was spoiled or that my parents were deprived of making those memories with me. If anything, it was just something else to look forward to when I was old enough to understand.
My UO: just because you WANT something doesn't mean you will be good at it, or should have it. This brought to you by my nursing orientation last night. Everyone is not meant to be a nurse. If you want to have me tell you otherwise when you've heard nursing school is "so hard" I'm not going to disagree with you. It IS hard. You could literally kill someone if you fuck up at your job. It's supposed to be hard.
Yeah, I want to be a Broadway star, but I don't sing or dance. I think sometimes parents set their kids up to fail in this regard by telling them they're great at something that they're not. My parents were supportive, but they were also realistic. They told me I was good at the violin, because I was. They didn't tell me I was a superstar athlete when I had no skills to speak of.
My grandparents always got us Easter baskets, stockings etc. I certainly don't feel I was spoiled or that my parents were deprived of making those memories with me. If anything, it was just something else to look forward to when I was old enough to understand.
My UO: just because you WANT something doesn't mean you will be good at it, or should have it. This brought to you by my nursing orientation last night. Everyone is not meant to be a nurse. If you want to have me tell you otherwise when you've heard nursing school is "so hard" I'm not going to disagree with you. It IS hard. You could literally kill someone if you fuck up at your job. It's supposed to be hard.
Yeah, I want to be a Broadway star, but I don't sing or dance. I think sometimes parents set their kids up to fail in this regard by telling them they're great at something that they're not. My parents were supportive, but they were also realistic. They told me I was good at the violin, because I was. They didn't tell me I was a superstar athlete when I had no skills to speak of.
FFTC: when I was little, I wanted to grow up and be a waitress. I have never worked at a restaurant.
I think for me, part of it has to do with the way that I grew up. My grandparents weren't around for holidays, so everything was always just from my parents. It's weird for me too have a stocking at my ILs house for my kids, because I didn't grow up having a stocking at my grandparents house. Don't get me wrong, I would never deprive my ILs from getting a gift for the kids for any occasion, but it will be from them to celebrate 'x' holiday, not from the Easter bunny or Santa. Also, (my opinion) kids are so spoiled. I don't want that for my kids. I don't want them to run over to my ILs every time they visit asking what they bought for them. But, I'm also the mom that rarely buys my kids something 'just because'. I have a friend that would buy her children something special every time she left the house. Even just to the grocery store. It was ridiculous and I just can't be that mom.
I can understand not wanting anyone else to buy an Easter basket or stocking, if you're really into the Easter Bunny/Santa thing and don't want to have to explain why Santa goes to two houses for your kid and not everyone else. My great grandma sends Eddie a card with $2 in it for every minor holiday, just like she did when I was little, and I think it's adorable.
Bath time should not be a spectator sport. Just because they're over to visit around bedtime does not mean that I should have two aunts, grandma and grandpa all watching me giving LO a bath for 10-15 minutes. I'm sure this one is just me, but I just don't like it that they think a bath is an appropriate family event.
I can understand not wanting anyone else to buy an Easter basket or stocking, if you're really into the Easter Bunny/Santa thing and don't want to have to explain why Santa goes to two houses for your kid and not everyone else. My great grandma sends Eddie a card with $2 in it for every minor holiday, just like she did when I was little, and I think it's adorable.
Bath time should not be a spectator sport. Just because they're over to visit around bedtime does not mean that I should have two aunts, grandma and grandpa all watching me giving LO a bath for 10-15 minutes. I'm sure this one is just me, but I just don't like it that they think a bath is an appropriate family event.
If my parents or MIL are over during bath time I usually let them give him a bath. It's usually DH's alone time with DS while I get stuff done so if someone else is over they take over. Fine by me ;P I wouldn't want 10 people in my bathroom however.
I don't care if my MIL or my parents buy gifts or stockings or baskets for LO. I just want them to respect that LO doesn't need candy or electronics for gifts. My family agrees with this but my MIL thinks I'm seriously depriving my one year old for not giving her bags of candy at Christmas or Easter.
UO: I think it's ok to spoil your kids as long as you can teach them to appreciate it. I was spoiled (more so later in life) but I appreciated it.
I will fully admit that I was spoiled and still am but I fully appreciate it. I don't have a sense of entitlement like many of the people my age do. While I will say DS is spoiled I don't go overboard and while I'm buying things for him it's with the intention of not buying later again for #2. 1st kids are expensive...
I think it's odd when people post Happy Birthday messages on Facebook when their children a) don't have a Facebook and b) are too young to read the message. Yes, I realize this is nit-picky.
I think it's odd when people post Happy Birthday messages on Facebook when their children a) don't have a Facebook and b) are too young to read the message. Yes, I realize this is nit-picky.
I always think this is so stupid.
Last night someone on my FB said "C, Mommy is so proud of you for going poopy on the potty! You're such a big boy!!" FFS. Stop that. I don't post it on FB every time my kid poops on the potty. Because that's weird.
If we are able to spoil our children we will, in a good way. I was "spoiled" but I always had a job and knew the value of money. My parents were able to give us things because they worked hard. But they also told us no. A lot. I hope to do the same thing with my kids.
Re: UO
Haha! You must get that from your mom
Not an actually quote, just a sentiment I've seen thrown around...
Was just saying this last night. One of my friends has an almost 3 year old so has declared herself the expert on all things toddler. Her DD is spirited and wild and adorable but not a thing like DS. I've vowed never to give unsolicited parenting advice because it's so annoying. Their kid is not my kid after all.
And FTR I wasn't referring to you on the baskets. I was thinking of the conversation that was had back around Christmas
haha..I just use it as my excuse to not do those things for DD myself. In fact, I know they're already doing a basket for Easter, so if I get something for DD I'll just pop it in their basket. I'm lazy.
I'm sure this won't make sense to others, but it's just the way I feel. I think part of the difficulty or issue is that my family didn't do that (grandparents giving stockings and Easter baskets), so it's new to me.
I'm totally fine with my parents giving B a basket/stocking whatever. Heck I wish my MIL would put in 1/4 that effort.
My UO: I don't think your car payment should be the same if not more than your house. This brought to you by the guy at the car show wanting to sell me a 2015 Tahoe that was $60K+. Umm...sorry dude. I'm not going to be paying $1000 for the next 5 YEARS for a car. What are people thinking?
Bear with me, I am home with a stomach bug today and my posts might seem off because I'm hurting.
Dexter 08/31/2012~Summer 07/25/2011~Jack 10/21/2008~Aaron 08/12/2007
I'm sure this won't make sense to others, but it's just the way I feel. I think part of the difficulty or issue is that my family didn't do that (grandparents giving stockings and Easter baskets), so it's new to me.
But they're not taking away your chance to do those things for your own kids...
Dexter 08/31/2012~Summer 07/25/2011~Jack 10/21/2008~Aaron 08/12/2007
My parents buy almost all of my kids' clothes. My mother loves to shop for them and buys a ton, plus it saves me money, so I let her. I could see if I had some really special gift plan and the swiped the idea or something, but I'm so ok with letting them buy the kids whatever they want.
Nancy James 9.1.12
Calvin Donald 8.27.14
Nancy James 9.1.12
Calvin Donald 8.27.14
Bath time should not be a spectator sport. Just because they're over to visit around bedtime does not mean that I should have two aunts, grandma and grandpa all watching me giving LO a bath for 10-15 minutes. I'm sure this one is just me, but I just don't like it that they think a bath is an appropriate family event.
Nancy James 9.1.12
Calvin Donald 8.27.14
Nancy James 9.1.12
Calvin Donald 8.27.14