Does your husband ever work out of town?

likeanoldtimemovie · March 2014

So... DH is a truck driver. He works reeeeeally long hours. Like, he leaves the house at 3am and doesn't get home until 7/8 usually. He scarfs down some dinner and goes to bed about an hour later.

Good news: HE LOVES HIS JOB. And it pays well. And he's at least home every night (Although not for long).

He works five days a week and, sometimes (but not often), they need him on Saturdays.

His supervisors love him and they are trying to talk him into a new route. His company recently picked up a restaurant chain throughout the country. The route they want DH to take is Tennessee.

So, um, at first, I was all HELL NO. I do not want him to be an on-the-road truck driver and gone for days at a time. But then he explained to me that he would leave Monday morning, stay the night in Tennessee, come home Tuesday afternoon. He would be OFF on Wednesday, drive back to TN on Thursday and come home Friday afternoon. Off on weekends.

Also, the pay is... ridiculous. As in, he would double his income just about.

My mom thinks we're crazy for "discussing" this instead of just doing it, but you guuuuuys. I would miss him so much those two nights a week! That is really the only hold-up. I would just miss the hell out of him.

Is missing your husband for two nights worth the pretty awesome schedule and money?

Discuss.

bumpuser1282882 · March 2014

I would miss him too, but at least it is only two nights instead of more. I think for the type of pay increase he would be getting, I would tell him to go for it. Eta: a co-worker's husband is also a truck driver and he is gone weeks at a time, so I think that's why the decision would be easy for me - compared to that, this isn't so bad.

likeanoldtimemovie · March 2014

dorothyzbornak97 said:

That's a tough one, for sure. I would definitely miss my H, too. But, it is only two nights, and if the money is that much better, it might be worth it. When would he start?

Probably in the next few weeks. I told him I was worried about what would happen if I went into labor while he was gone, but he said that his company's policy is for one of the supervisors to actually drive up to TN and get him to bring him home.

Plus, he could maybe switch routes with a local guy for the week before/after my due date, just in case.

likeanoldtimemovie · March 2014

stufie said:

I would miss him too, but at least it is only two nights instead of more. I think for the type of pay increase he would be getting, I would tell him to go for it. Eta: a co-worker's husband is also a truck driver and he is gone weeks at a time, so I think that's why the decision would be easy for me - compared to that, this isn't so bad.

This is heavy on my mind. He's really lucky to be a truck driver and GET this kind of schedule. Plus it's major job security. Ugh.. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DOOOO.

ADH0906 · March 2014

That's a tough one. Me and DH both do fieldwork, so we're used to being away from each other for weeks at a time....he's in NV right now for 3 weeks, and them I'll be gone for 6. Honestly, it sucks sometimes. But if you're only looking at two nights a week, and the pay increase is that nice, I think it's be worth it.

pjaimeal · March 2014

Joy2611 said:

::wandering in to drop off my two cents::

Two nights a week to watch my classless shows on TV without commentary? Two nights a week to just have for myself? I'd be all over it. But, I'm weirdish like that.

I honestly think that being gone two nights the whole week is worth the extra pay and free time you'd get with your husband in the end. But that is what would work for me, my husband, our family, and our personalities. If it doesn't work for you, then it's okay to say to so.

I commuted 45 minutes every day on a train for two years. I found it hellish and it ruined me. I was a mess for two years. Other people do it painlessly for years and are happier for the time to themselves. My troubles with it simply didn't make sense to other people, but that didn't mean that my unhappiness with the situation was any less real. Quitting that job for one closer to my home made all the difference in the world for my husband and I. Some people didn't get it and that's okay. It was a personal decision.

This. I know tons of people who work more than 45 mins away from home and they are fine with it. Me? No way in hell. I already spend 8+ hours at work a day and the last thing I want to do is waste more time on the road. It is just something I have always been adamant about.

The situation you described with your H sounds OK, maybe even better than his current situation to me. You would be able to spend more time with him on the nights he is home and the weekends guaranteed off are a bonus. But...if the "perks" (increased salary included) do not outweigh the fact that you will miss him terribly on the nights he is gone, then it is not worth it. Especially with all things being considered (your LO on the way). It just depends on how it will affect your happiness and relationship.

likeanoldtimemovie · March 2014

You guys, as always, are the freaking BEST.

So he told his boss he was interested and today they sent him on a "training" route to Alabama to see how he likes it. (We're in Georgia.) He'll be laying over tonight in a nice hotel (They also give him $50 to eat on each day he's gone), working tomorrow and home by dinner.

I'm glad he's on a training run to see how he likes it, for sure. He's a little bummed because he didn't know they were sending him there until this morning so he has no clean clothes or book or anything for the hotel. But I think if he's more prepared next time, he'll enjoy it.

The more you guys talk about two nights to myself... the more I'm thinking we could both benefit from that. Some nights when he's home, we get into fights because he wants to play xbox and I've missed him all day and want him to talk with me or play Monopoly or something. Other days, he gets sucked into a book and I don't hear from him for about six hours or so.

I'm home all day, so when he's home, I'm ready to socialize, but he's not always like that. I think having three solid days each week that could be OUR days to do something, take the kids somewhere, be together, etc. will be so helpful. We've been talking about scheduling a weekly date night and I think this schedule will accommodate that.

So we'll see!

ADH0906 · March 2014

likeanoldtimemovie said:
You guys, as always, are the freaking BEST.

So he told his boss he was interested and today they sent him on a "training" route to Alabama to see how he likes it. (We're in Georgia.) He'll be laying over tonight in a nice hotel (They also give him $50 to eat on each day he's gone), working tomorrow and home by dinner.

I'm glad he's on a training run to see how he likes it, for sure. He's a little bummed because he didn't know they were sending him there until this morning so he has no clean clothes or book or anything for the hotel. But I think if he's more prepared next time, he'll enjoy it.

The more you guys talk about two nights to myself... the more I'm thinking we could both benefit from that. Some nights when he's home, we get into fights because he wants to play xbox and I've missed him all day and want him to talk with me or play Monopoly or something. Other days, he gets sucked into a book and I don't hear from him for about six hours or so.

I'm home all day, so when he's home, I'm ready to socialize, but he's not always like that. I think having three solid days each week that could be OUR days to do something, take the kids somewhere, be together, etc. will be so helpful. We've been talking about scheduling a weekly date night and I think this schedule will accommodate that.

So we'll see!

That's great! (And a $50 per diem is really generous!)

tealowl · March 2014

The schedule doesn't sound bad at all - I know some trucker H's and they are gone for days at a time. I would tell him to take the job, especially if it means more pay.

I would totally be lonely also during the nights if S/O was gone like that, but maybe that'll make the nights he is home more special?

MrsMac613 · March 2014

I don't think that's too bad. My brother is a truck driver and he is gone for usually 2 months at a time. If it doubles his salary and he loves his job you guys should go for it. My DH works overseas a lot and is gone for months at a time so maybe I'm biased because I'm used to it. Skype and phone calls will also make it easier on the nights your DH is gone.

likeanoldtimemovie · March 2014

snowflake91011 said:

@likeanoldtimemovie how'd your H like the training run?

He liked it! It's a bit harder of a route so he was able to pass out in a hotel bed around 9:30. He told me he slept like a rock and then he was home around 4:00 Friday afternoon!

And, apart from the kids missing him a bit Thursday night, everything at home was fine! I missed him, but I didn't feel like I went a whole day without seeing him because even when he's home, he's ready for bed two hours later. I think it's going to work out well for us!

He's talking to his boss today about taking the route!

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