@lest12 totally feel you on prioritizing yourself over stuff that you just don't feel like doing. I see myself doing that more now, too, and admittedly I kinda like it. I also kind of miss getting looked at at work or elsewhere... it feels awful to admit that, but it's true.
I'm getting the impression that it's kind of trendy to jump on the "traumatic birth" bandwagon. I.e. I'm sure lots of folks DO have birth experiences that are actually traumatic and result in PTSD. But it also seems like women are now eager to say that any birth that wasn't exactly what they imagined, was in some way unpleasant, etc. is a "traumatic" birth as a means of attention whoring.
Oh, another: this is how I feel when women IRL randomly want to tell me about their previous pregnancies.
My belly? Doesn't mean I give a shit. It's not like, "Oh, I have a baby in me so I want to hear about EVERYONE that's ever had a baby in them!" NO. I also have a rectum in me; I don't want to hear about everyone's rectal experiences.
Thank you, @krptcmschfmkr128 (new tagging drop down is awesome for your name). DH's friends who are huge at AW-ing big purchases on FB, posted a big rant about the Graco recall and how they went out and bought brand new seats for their kids because their kids aren't sitting in recalled seats. I was so annoyed because everyone who commented said, "Good for you!" When they should have been saying, "You're a moron for wasting your money".
I typically don't participate in any of the debate type posts that happen, but I always read them. I think this board is quite tame compared to most others. I feel like usually when there is a difference in opinions, it is handled in a respectful manner. When it's not, I feel like some snark is totally justified. Basically, I think this board rocks.
My FFFC: DH has a concert tonight and won't be home until late. I am so excited to go home, eat some fro yo and watch Grey's Anatomy and Scandal and just chill by myself. I'm not even mad or annoyed with DH, the opposite in fact, but being alone sounds awesome right about now.
BFP 12/30/12...MC 1/13...TTC again 6/11/13... BFP #2 9/28/13....EDD 6/7/14
@BeesTimesThree I agree that this board rocks! I have literally only been posting for four days because I'm a big shy baby but I got courageous because I needed help and I have found everyone to be very welcoming and nice! and when I see snark it's totally justified and usually how I'm feeling but I'm kind of non confrontational because.. well I'm a big baby. lol
I ate a slice of pizza for breakfast. Then I had some more for lunch. I keep telling myself I'll have all kinds of veggies and fruits with dinner and as a snack but I'm pretty sure I'm just going with pasta for dinner.
I was listening to our local radio station this morning and the producer of the show came on and said how he is considering an arranged marriage for his daughter when she gets older. He was semi-joking but then all these calls came flooding in about how people thought arranged marriages were a great idea and some said they wish their parents would've done this for them. I am not judging because I know some have no choice but I guess for me I wouldn't be happy with being treated like a business transaction.
Random, but I dated someone for years who was 'promised to' an arranged marriage. As in, we lived in Boston, but his parents were from Italy, where there was a girl/arranged marriage waiting for him to be ready.
It's a long story, but on-topic. He sucked at life for a lot of reasons, one of them being that he hid this engagement from me for 2+ years. Once I found out (and flipped out), he came clean and said he really wanted nothing to do with it, then told his parents he wasn't marrying her and they went nuts - you know, imagine the horror of backing out of the business deal and how they would look back home. Their reaction was unimaginable and they ruined the next 3 years of our lives (stupid me for sticking it out that long if he couldn't stand up to them).
It was all a very terrible ordeal and scarred both of us for a very long time. He is married to an Italian girl now, don't know if it was 'arranged' or not, and I hope he and his family are all happy, even though I think they're all kind of terrible people (for a lot of reasons, NOT because they believed in arranged marriages).
On the flip side, though, his brother did marry the girl they had picked out for him. I met her at one point, she was very nice, and they seemed very happy together. So, sometimes maybe it works out.
I guess it works for some people and they can live very happy lives, but I think it is shitty for parents to raise you in the 20th (or 21st now, I guess) century and all of it's glory, but then to expect you to be OK with an arranged marriage. It's so conflicting that it can't be fair.
my FFFC: I HATE blue pens...I will look all over the house for a black pen before I use a blue pen.
@kbell3 I HATE black pens! I have to use blue pens to sign documents at work so it has become my pen preference. I will search all over my classroom for a blue pen before ever considering a black one.
BeesTimesThree- I love evenings when I'm home alone. DH has been getting on my nerves lately, so time alone feels great!
FFFC- While I try my best to keep my snark to a minimum, I expect it on a forum like this. The more anonymous message board are, the meaner people get. Personally, I think this board is relatively calm and understanding. Like real life, people come and people go. If your feelings are hurt, its a possibility that you put too much emotion into a board.
FFFC: Every time DH says that "we" need to do something, I know he means he wants me to do it all. Kind of annoyed with it, so lately when he says "we" need to do something, I don't do it.
OMG @jujub22, this! But it's never "we" in my house, it's just "xyz needs to get done". If you see it needs to get done, then just effin' do it. I'm not talking about painting rooms, assembling furniture, or big decisions. I'm talking about standing at the trash and saying "The trash needs to be taken out.". So then effin' take it out!
My friend had her tubes tied. Their oldest child was 18 and youngest was 11. They had not been trying or planning to have any more children. She's in her mid 40's. Suddenly she's developed "Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome", whines about never giving her husband a son, and bought a bunch of Reborn dolls, two of which she gave mine and DH's first names and our children's names for middle names. Then she wanted to go all crazy Britney and shave her head for a "new year, new start". Fact: if you make me get to the point where I'm thinking of choking you, I'll settle for unfriending you on Facebook and blocking all communication.
Honestly, DH was scared that marriage would change us, as well. He watched his dad go through three failed marriages, and one "successful" long term bf/gf situation with his current step-mom. He was scared shitless of getting married, but we did it. A year later, and for the most part, not much of our relationship has change. Anything that has change, probably would have changed anyway, because relationship dynamics change over time whether you're married or not.
Thanks It probably doesn't help that my dad's marriage failed and our best friends have a pretty strained relationship so I can't help but compare even though we are nothing alike.
@lizardbreath14 - This is our third together so I'm hoping it won't cause too many changes.
It's hard, but you have to remember that you're not those people. One of H's good friends had two failed marriages, because he rushed into the marriages when the women got pregnant because he thought it was the "right" thing to do. That same friend asked him if he was sure he wanted to marry me, because DH had told him both times not to do it. However, H knew their relationships weren't healthy to begin with, and didn't want his friend to make the mistakes his dad had. H didn't propose to me because we had a child and it was the "right" thing to do. He did it because he wanted to, and realized that we weren't going anywhere. We had major plans for our future together, besides just having DD1.
Chances are, if you're making it work after 2 (going on 3) kids, marriage isn't going to change much of anything. Good luck!
Totally this. I never thought and still don't think marriage changes things. Things can change over time, or life stresses (like kids) can do it, but marriage in and of itself shouldn't affect your relationship.
Double post...I finally figured out what was bothering me.
I've decided that LO will sleep in the bassinet part of her play yard. I read in the baby bargain book that this is cool, because newborns nap on/off all day. Yesterday, I got flamed by a friend for not buying a regular bassinet. I explained that it is a space issue and I have heard of others doing this.
As a FTM, I'm generally open to others' suggestions. But, it has to be a little more than personal opinion.
@lest12 I find myself always agreeing with your posts. That, coupled with the fact that we both have crazy sisters getting married, makes us soul sisters
I got a speeding ticket from one of those cameras. They are calibrated to go off at 11 mph over, which is exactly what I was doing...only the camera is about 50 ft from a speed limit change of 45 to 40, so I thought I was only going 6 over. I'm not paying shit until they serve me. Assholes.
OK, this one is very hard for me to admit, but it's time I come clean:
I really like Caillou.
I have a bunch on my DVR not for my son's benefit, but so I can enjoy them all.
There, I said it.
Caillou drives me absolutely bat shit crazy. He is so whiny all the time!
I agree. Caillou is my least favorite cartoon... He is a whiny little twit!
He is SO SO whiny and I think that's why I like him! It's so weird! I find myself laughing at him all the time and it puts me in a good mood. Clearly there is something wrong with me because I am the ONLY PERSON IN THE ENTIRE WORLD WHO LIKES CAILLOU*
*I heard even the creators of the show don't like him.
Married to SAJ since 8/6/11
BFP #1: 1/23/12 mc: 2/19/12
BFP #2: 6/20/12
I was listening to our local radio station this morning and the producer of the show came on and said how he is considering an arranged marriage for his daughter when she gets older. He was semi-joking but then all these calls came flooding in about how people thought arranged marriages were a great idea and some said they wish their parents would've done this for them. I am not judging because I know some have no choice but I guess for me I wouldn't be happy with being treated like a business transaction.
The people on the show may suck, but arranged marriage varies a lot and isn't what usually what we in western culture imagine it to be, i.e. a business transaction. I have friend with arranged marriages, and they're as loving and happy as my own (which was based on 8 years of dating and cohabitation). I've worked with some amazing people from Saudi Arabia that have taught me a lot on the subject. Only in the deepest areas of poverty is it handled business-transaction-style.
ETA: I've seen a lot of US marriages based on the idea of the "perfect spouse," i.e. looking or someone with x-money or y-body to fit their expectations without much concern about personality compatibility, shared values, or genuine enduring love. I think that bothers me more because it's so superficial and image-based.
He is SO SO whiny and I think that's why I like him! It's so weird! I find myself laughing at him all the time and it puts me in a good mood. Clearly there is something wrong with me because I am the ONLY PERSON IN THE ENTIRE WORLD WHO LIKES CAILLOU*
*I heard even the creators of the show don't like him.
I've wondered how this show has stayed on as long as it has!!! I know NOBODY who watches it. Well, now you. Caillou has ONE viewer. lol
Yes! I am the one viewer! I even have a FAVORITE EPISODE.
I will say that I think his relationship with his grandmother is a bit much and he never pays any attention to his grandfather, which is just mean. Everything is always about grandma. Well, doesn't gramps deserve some love too, Caillou? Doesn't he???!!!
Married to SAJ since 8/6/11
BFP #1: 1/23/12 mc: 2/19/12
BFP #2: 6/20/12
I have had a very shitty day. My temper is on fire. I feel like shit. I will spare you the majority of my day to give you my FFFC. I was pulling out of the Target parking lot (only to go park a few rows away to go to the AAA office) and saw a very large dually truck turning down my isle. I politely stopped a bit away so he had room to turn. He proceeded to drive down the middle of the isle and throw his hands up at me, red faced. I had to back up even further and get as close to the parked cars as possible for him to pass. He came within less than an INCH of hitting my mirror with his fender. The whole time I could hear him cursing at me.
I proceeded to the AAA office (where I got MORE bad news, my registration was expired and I never received a renewal in the mail so the DMV got $67 of my money in late fees for 12 days past due) and came out even more angry. I purposely walked over to that dually (now parked in a handicapped space but no sticker or badge in sight- it was the only space he could fit in unless he parked waaaaay down the isle and took two spaces). It may or may not have a very deep, very dark scratch from a key down the side of its pretty dark red paint job.
My FFFC? One of my keys has traces of pretty dark red paint on it. I think it matches the color of the guys face as he was cussing at me for daring to be in the same isle he decided to come down.
You keyed the guy's truck? Why is that any better than what he was doing?
My husband has all sorts of road rage and gets very offended when people park improperly or don't adhere to "the rules" (he should write a book). We were at a grocery store and someone parked in the space for parents with young children. This person did not have young children, or any children for that matter, with her. She also parked her Escalade terribly. Awful, awful parking job. He spent the majority of our shopping trip being really visibly angry about this. When we got back to our car, he couldn't help himself and he wrote her a really nasty note. I thought that was extreme. I would have been really embarrassed had he keyed her car.
Married to SAJ since 8/6/11
BFP #1: 1/23/12 mc: 2/19/12
BFP #2: 6/20/12
Double post...I finally figured out what was bothering me.
I've decided that LO will sleep in the bassinet part of her play yard. I read in the baby bargain book that this is cool, because newborns nap on/off all day. Yesterday, I got flamed by a friend for not buying a regular bassinet. I explained that it is a space issue and I have heard of others doing this.
As a FTM, I'm generally open to others' suggestions. But, it has to be a little more than personal opinion.
I've had this happen too. We're using the bassinet attachment to our stroller.
I used the bassinette thing on our play yard for DS, it worked great and I will do it again for LO. Why does anyone need two things that do virtually the same thing. No reason for flaming IMO. I found it very convenient and a cool option. It the whole reason we chose the play yard we did.
I'm feeling better, and work is super slow right now (as I'm working from home, and it's more like internetting while keeping an eye on the work email). I feel like I should be A, doing the dishes that haven't been done in too long, B, figuring out dinner or C, going to get C early so we can spend some non-sick time together before dinner/bed. Aaaaaand, I'm not doing any of those things.
Double post...I finally figured out what was bothering me.
I've decided that LO will sleep in the bassinet part of her play yard. I read in the baby bargain book that this is cool, because newborns nap on/off all day. Yesterday, I got flamed by a friend for not buying a regular bassinet. I explained that it is a space issue and I have heard of others doing this.
As a FTM, I'm generally open to others' suggestions. But, it has to be a little more than personal opinion.
I've had this happen too. We're using the bassinet attachment to our stroller.
I used the bassinette thing on our play yard for DS, it worked great and I will do it again for LO. Why does anyone need two things that do virtually the same thing. No reason for flaming IMO. I found it very convenient and a cool option. It the whole reason we chose the play yard we did.
Just do your thing ladies
Yeah it seems weird that would be flameworthy. We totally had DS in the pack in play bassinet in the living room in the beginning. It was too much of a pain to run him to the crib when he was constantly between awake and asleep. I didn't start using the crib for naps until there was was some sort of regularity to his napping schedule.
@lest12 I find myself always agreeing with your posts. That, coupled with the fact that we both have crazy sisters getting married, makes us soul sisters </p>
I agree! I am always doing the same with your posts, too, @katekat8721!
I was thinking of you the other day... we are planning the bridal shower, lol.
-------->
Just paint. No dents. Doesn't make it any less of an asshole move though. Sorry guys. Something I shouldn't have done and something I shouldn't have posted about. I won't DD cuz that's just an asshole move too, I'm only good for one asshole move every decade.
We all do stuff we're not proud of. At least you own it. Many people can't/won't.
@Loherrim, I don't think you're an asshole. I think perhaps you did an asshole thing, doesn't make you an asshole. Just like being bitchy sometimes doesn't make you a bitch (speaks the girl who hopes she's only sometimes bitchy and not a bitch). If I could gif, I'd send you gif hugs.
@LoHerrim , don't grieve it too hard. Lots of way worse shit is being done right now. If you need a pick me up, just think about abuse, sex trafficking, and all the other horrible things happening. You'll feel like a saint.
Every now and then, we're prone to being a huge dick. You take away a lesson and move on.
@LoHerrim I think it is super cool that you have owned up to this, however, it is very unacceptable for someone to treat you like a dick and this guy was obvs a dick. I probably would have done the same thing had I been in your shoes. Not on a normal day but there have been days when it took all I had to not key someones car. I have a neighbor that comes through our apartmant parking lot at all hours of the night with his shitty ass music blaring. If I could figure out a way to shoot him with my AIR SOFT pistol when he gets out I would. I'm afraid I can't run fast enough anymore!! lol And I have a very high powered air soft gun
I'm lol-ing at @wtfisup. You're not a bad guy @LoHerrim. You pulled a bitchy move, but seriously, worse things have happened. I probably wouldn't try and cheer myself up by thinking about sex trafficking, but rather putting the good vibes back into the universe. Do something nice and selfless for a complete stranger and balance will be restored to the force.
Also, I shall NEVER try and piss you off. Ever.
June '14 September Siggy challenge- Favorite things about fall
Re: FFFC
@lest12 totally feel you on prioritizing yourself over stuff that you just don't feel like doing. I see myself doing that more now, too, and admittedly I kinda like it. I also kind of miss getting looked at at work or elsewhere... it feels awful to admit that, but it's true.
Thank you, @krptcmschfmkr128 (new tagging drop down is awesome for your name). DH's friends who are huge at AW-ing big purchases on FB, posted a big rant about the Graco recall and how they went out and bought brand new seats for their kids because their kids aren't sitting in recalled seats. I was so annoyed because everyone who commented said, "Good for you!" When they should have been saying, "You're a moron for wasting your money".
My FFFC: DH has a concert tonight and won't be home until late. I am so excited to go home, eat some fro yo and watch Grey's Anatomy and Scandal and just chill by myself. I'm not even mad or annoyed with DH, the opposite in fact, but being alone sounds awesome right about now.
BFP #2 9/28/13....EDD 6/7/14
Oh, thank you ladies for not leaving me hanging on that one, lol. It is nice to not just be the bump in the room!
@BeesTimesThree I agree that this board rocks! I have literally only been posting for four days because I'm a big shy baby but I got courageous because I needed help and I have found everyone to be very welcoming and nice! and when I see snark it's totally justified and usually how I'm feeling but I'm kind of non confrontational because.. well I'm a big baby. lol
BFP: February 2016 EDD: October 17, 2016
Random, but I dated someone for years who was 'promised to' an arranged marriage. As in, we lived in Boston, but his parents were from Italy, where there was a girl/arranged marriage waiting for him to be ready.
It's a long story, but on-topic. He sucked at life for a lot of reasons, one of them being that he hid this engagement from me for 2+ years. Once I found out (and flipped out), he came clean and said he really wanted nothing to do with it, then told his parents he wasn't marrying her and they went nuts - you know, imagine the horror of backing out of the business deal and how they would look back home. Their reaction was unimaginable and they ruined the next 3 years of our lives (stupid me for sticking it out that long if he couldn't stand up to them).
It was all a very terrible ordeal and scarred both of us for a very long time. He is married to an Italian girl now, don't know if it was 'arranged' or not, and I hope he and his family are all happy, even though I think they're all kind of terrible people (for a lot of reasons, NOT because they believed in arranged marriages).
On the flip side, though, his brother did marry the girl they had picked out for him. I met her at one point, she was very nice, and they seemed very happy together. So, sometimes maybe it works out.
I guess it works for some people and they can live very happy lives, but I think it is shitty for parents to raise you in the 20th (or 21st now, I guess) century and all of it's glory, but then to expect you to be OK with an arranged marriage. It's so conflicting that it can't be fair.
OMG @jujub22, this! But it's never "we" in my house, it's just "xyz needs to get done". If you see it needs to get done, then just effin' do it. I'm not talking about painting rooms, assembling furniture, or big decisions. I'm talking about standing at the trash and saying "The trash needs to be taken out.". So then effin' take it out!
Totally this. I never thought and still don't think marriage changes things. Things can change over time, or life stresses (like kids) can do it, but marriage in and of itself shouldn't affect your relationship.
Congrats @narwhalicorns!
Married to SAJ since 8/6/11
BFP #1: 1/23/12 mc: 2/19/12
BFP #2: 6/20/12
Married to SAJ since 8/6/11
BFP #1: 1/23/12 mc: 2/19/12
BFP #2: 6/20/12
Just because you're having a bad day and this guy was being an asshole, isn't exactly a good enough reason to do vandalism to someones vehicle.
Married to SAJ since 8/6/11
BFP #1: 1/23/12 mc: 2/19/12
BFP #2: 6/20/12
Married to SAJ since 8/6/11
BFP #1: 1/23/12 mc: 2/19/12
BFP #2: 6/20/12
@LoHerrim - it makes me think of this:
I used the bassinette thing on our play yard for DS, it worked great and I will do it again for LO. Why does anyone need two things that do virtually the same thing. No reason for flaming IMO. I found it very convenient and a cool option. It the whole reason we chose the play yard we did.
Just do your thing ladies
Married DH 7/30/11
CSC arrived 5/7/12
CHC arrived 6/2/14
The bumpie formerly known as First Time in MI
I was thinking of you the other day... we are planning the bridal shower, lol.
Married DH 7/30/11
CSC arrived 5/7/12
CHC arrived 6/2/14
*BFP- Sept 2013*
*Ryder due June 1,2014*
*Love of my Life*
Also, I shall NEVER try and piss you off. Ever.
@LoHerrim
It's okay, Damon's got you...
We all have our limits. I've seen DH spit on a car before in a similiar situation. Wicked gross but just less permanent!