FFFC

JNerd

I'm getting this party started early because I don't want to forget mine.

chickpea912

LOL @ @JNerd

JNerd

1. If you expect nothing to change in your life when you have a baby, you are wrong. A baby does not stay a baby. They grow into a toddler, and a young child, then a tween and teenager and eventually an adult. Life will change and if you don't want to change, maybe you shouldn't be having kids.

2. I believe you cannot 'make' a child into something. Meaning, i do not believe that lessons A + coach B = star athlete. What I do believe is that you can provide opportunities for your child to learn and experience, and they might grow into a star athlete, for example, but they might not, and that needs to be okay too. I totally side eye the people that are trying to 'make' a certain type of child. Those were your dreams, let the child find their own!

3. Babies (and children) grow and develop at their own pace and they do it when it is right for them, regardless of when society says they should. Same as I was mentioning above, you cannot 'make' a child develop. Granted, there are children who may need help to reach their milestones, but again that is providing opportunities and fostering growth.
It is not a race to see who's baby hits x milestone first. (I'm seeing some people IRL who seem to be competing with their 6month olds).

EmbracingChange

My FFFC... I turn into a 13 year old when I argue with DH. I cross my arms, roll my eyeballs, sigh loudly, and murmur witty comments under my breath. Tonight he was bitching about not being able to find the program on his computer where he can type letters. I told him that it was an old computer so he needed to use Microsoft Works. He starts in about how he has no product key. I told him that he was in Word, which his computer doesn't have, and he needed to go to Works. He said something about me sitting over there(other couch) on the internet doing jack shit while he was doing homework and not helping him. So I got up, got his computer, found the program, and while he was outside getting his bag, I typed "You're on the Dean's List of biggest assholes" in and got in the shower. I'm so mature.

MissBHaven1024

My FFFC: I have my GD test tomorrow morning and all I want right now is a big bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a ginger ale. Sugar upon sugar. My food cut-off time is midnight, so I have a little over 2 hours to eat a late-night snack. 

cristykaye

JNerd said:

1. If you expect nothing to change in your life when you have a baby, you are wrong. A baby does not stay a baby. They grow into a toddler, and a young child, then a tween and teenager and eventually an adult. Life will change and if you don't want to change, maybe you shouldn't be having kids.

2. I believe you cannot 'make' a child into something. Meaning, i do not believe that lessons A + coach B = star athlete. What I do believe is that you can provide opportunities for your child to learn and experience, and they might grow into a star athlete, for example, but they might not, and that needs to be okay too. I totally side eye the people that are trying to 'make' a certain type of child. Those were your dreams, let the child find their own!

3. Babies (and children) grow and develop at their own pace and they do it when it is right for them, regardless of when society says they should. Same as I was mentioning above, you cannot 'make' a child develop. Granted, there are children who may need help to reach their milestones, but again that is providing opportunities and fostering growth.
It is not a race to see who's baby hits x milestone first. (I'm seeing some people IRL who seem to be competing with their 6month olds).

I want my child to be great at everything but I know that's just not going to happen. I do want to enroll him in things when he is young so he has some sense of the sport or whatever. So if we start tball and he doesn't like it I'm not going to make him play. I just don't want him to get to HS and decide that he wants to play baseball and have no clue about it. I don't just mean sports but that was just my example. I want him to do what he wants but I want to give him the opportunity to do it!

JNerd

@cristykaye that is awesome!! And (not sure if it came across) but exactly what I meant. You are providing opportunities for him to express and learn without the expectation that he *will be* something.
We plan on doing that both with DS and this LO. Lots of opportunities and exposure, but letting them tell us what they like and want to continue with.

ricecakes1216

Going off of @Jnerd #3. My SIL is pregnant with their second. She is due in September. I hope that they don't have a boy because I will lose my shit if they compare our kids. I listen to them compare their daughter to SIL's nieces. It drives me insane. I just want to scream when I hear it.

I confess I haven't read one page in a parenting book. I'm probably the most unprepared person in the world. It's probably because I'm in denial that we'll have a baby in a little over 12 weeks..

erind228

I will be married five years in July, and I have yet to change my name legally.  I go by my married name at work, but have been too lazy to actually go to the social security office. 

colllydon

My FFFC is the only thing that makes me feel "normal" is going to work. It's the only place I feel productive, helpful and good at things anymore. I sit at a desk most of the day so I don't notice the giant belly or the sore back. I'm just the person on the other end of the phone or email. No one is asking me "how I'm feeling" or "how long until I have her." It's nice. When I leave I'm exausted and hungry. I have to psych myself up to get out of the car or off the couch.

crhein26

If it's dark out and I'm behind someone that flicks their cigarette out the window, I will turn my brights on and leave them on the remaining time I am following them.  The world is NOT your ashtray people!

katekat8721

One of my biggest fears is that people are going to compare my twin girls.

I grew up with a sister 4 years younger than me and I know a lot of people made comments comparing us, which really stuck with her and at times made our relationship difficult. I know people ARE going to say things (check out the "crazy comments" on the multiple board if you want a laugh) but dammit I'm going to be try to be an extra vigilant mama bear to make sure people limit asinine comments. It can be hard enough growing up as a young girl, let alone while being compared to a sister.

AandJ28

For years, my drs told me that I had to have a c-section birth due to a cyst on my tailbone. When I found out I was pregnant, I started reading up and asking friends all about c-sections: the procedure, the recovery, etc. Yesterday when I went for my "birthing consult" with my surgeon, he said that he sees no reason why a c-section would be necessary and that the cyst will in no way be impacted with a birth. 

My FFFC: For the past several weeks, I have had major anxiety about the c-section recovery. After my appointment yesterday, I'm somewhat relieved but now feel as though I'm not prepared at all. I haven't done any reading on birth, haven't looked into classes, and now feel even more anxious and lost than I did. 

tbmadeamistake

DH introduced C to Fruity Pebbles last night.  She had two bowls for dinner, and the first thing she wanted this morning was more...so I gave them to her. 

If I could financially walk out of work tomorrow and spend the rest of this pregnancy lazing on my couch and getting some things done around the house, while keeping C in daycare until after Charlie arrives, I would.  I'm exhausted, I feel so behind with home stuff, and I really can't stand my job right now.  It's lovely.

Kinipela7

We had to bring in a focal point to labor class last night.  Every single person in the class brought a sonogram pic.  I brought a picture of my dog. 

Misstic

Hi everyone!  I've been lurking awhile, but this is my first post.

My FFFC: I want to both hit everyone in the face and cry, even though I know they are trying to be nice.  I have GD (found out last week), and there are two kinds of responses I am getting from friends and family.  They are either 1) Extremely worried and feel the need to list all the possible things that could go wrong and yell at me if my numbers are over, or 2) Extremely nonchalant and blow it off as nothing...'just eat better, you'll be fine" or "it's just a tiny little finger prick, not a big deal".  Like a toddler, no matter which response I get, I am irrationally angry at the person.  I understand they are worried and trying to say something to make me feel better, but I still kinda wanna hit them really hard, then go cry and eat ice cream.

MSUMands

Kinipela7 said:

We had to bring in a focal point to labor class last night.  Every single person in the class brought a sonogram pic.  I brought a picture of my dog. 

I had a picture of my dogs as my focal point for my first baby. No judgement!

JujuB22

FFFC: Every time DH says that "we" need to do something, I know he means he wants me to do it all. Kind of annoyed with it, so lately when he says "we" need to do something, I don't do it.

 "We need to finish up and mail out the thank you cards. We need to clean out the baby room".

So thank you cards to his half of the family are still not done, and the pile of junk that I organized that needs to go to Goodwill is still sitting in the baby's room. I did my half of the "we", you take care of the rest.

Not related, but I have become a pro at crop dusting in public. No shame.

AandJ28

@jujub22 - your crop dusting comment made me lol and I needed that laugh... so thank you!!  )

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owlcup

DH (or I guess fiance) and I are getting married today. Nothing special, just a courthouse thing. We've been together for over 6 years but I can't help but think our relationship is going to fail now that we'll have this "stamp."

I spent all last night questioning every little thing about our relationship. I know I'm being silly and this is probably normal but I can't help it!

I just feel like this is going to completely change our relationship which I know is irrational.

AandJ28

Congratulations @Narwhalicorns!! H and I had the same concerns but like @krptcmschfmkr128

mentioned, your relationship would have changed over time anyway. Plus, like @lizardbreath14 mentioned, having a baby will have a major change on your relationship. As far as I see it, with H and I, the only thing that changed were our titles (husband / wife).

owlcup

krptcmschfmkr128 said:

Congrats @Narwhalicorns!

Honestly, DH was scared that marriage would change us, as well. He watched his dad go through three failed marriages, and one "successful" long term bf/gf situation with his current step-mom. He was scared shitless of getting married, but we did it. A year later, and for the most part, not much of our relationship has change. Anything that has change, probably would have changed anyway, because relationship dynamics change over time whether you're married or not.

Thanks It probably doesn't help that my dad's marriage failed and our best friends have a pretty strained relationship so I can't help but compare even though we are nothing alike.

@lizardbreath14‌ - This is our third together so I'm hoping it won't cause too many changes.

rainbowdashh

People are too sensitive. If you post your opinion for the whole internet to see, it's fair game for people to react as they want.

JujuB22

AandJ28 said:

@jujub22 - your crop dusting comment made me lol and I needed that laugh... so thank you!!  )

You're welcome. 

ricecakes1216

I have another confession. I'm sitting here waiting for my blood draw for my glucose test and I'm being a complete baby. I'm so nauseated, jittery and sweaty. I just want to cry. It's totally ridiculous, I know, but I've been up since 3:30 and I'm feeling extra hormonal. I hope I don't have to do the three hour. I can just imagine what kind of baby I'll be then..

And I hate my outfit today! Waaahhhh!

diagonalley

Rachel5130 said:

People are too sensitive. If you post your opinion for the whole internet to see, it's fair game for people to react as they want.

Agreed. Except that this isn't some random site where people go for criticism. This is a community board. I agree that some snark is necessary so it doesn't get stale, but people should ultimately feel comfortable sharing here.

By all means people should feel comfortable sharing here.  But that doesn't make it ok to be offensive. If someone (or multiple people) take offense to what you say, they have the right to express that.

jshrop

I feel like there's a difference between sharing opinions and having an "uppity" attitude that your way is right and everyone else is wrong. I think when you present information in such a manner you are open to getting flamed for sure (and well deserved). My personal feelings, if you have an opinion, that's great, share it. But don't tell people they're are wrong in how they live because it isn't how you envision your life.

jshrop

My FFFC: I have had the worst gas for days! It's gotten to the point I've woken myself from a dead sleep... Repeatedly. I almost feel bad for hubs, but not really.

Kinipela7

I had a shamrock shake for the first time yesterday.  I love mint things normally but these shakes are nasty!!  It tasted like I was drinking liquid toothpaste!  Disappointing!

tbmadeamistake

@narwhalicorns, congrats!  I got engaged and was planning my marriage as I watched my brother go through an incredibly messy divorce. It was hard, but I also knew that his situation was not mine.  The night of our wedding, as I went to bed and DH went down to the hotel bar with his friends (I was totally fine with that), I had a panic attack.  I hate change, and I caught sight of the ring on my finger and went "Holy shit, what have I done?" followed VERY quickly by "Oh, it's just DH, that's fine," and I relaxed.  There's the initial oh, crap, we're REALLY together now, legally, but nothing has changed as far as our day to day stuff, other than being allowed on each others' insurances.  Enjoy your day!

rainbowdashh

Rachel5130 said:

ohyealovely said:

People are too sensitive. If you post your opinion for the whole internet to see, it's fair game for people to react as they want.

Agreed. Except that this isn't some random site where people go for criticism. This is a community board. I agree that some snark is necessary so it doesn't get stale, but people should ultimately feel comfortable sharing here.

Condescending remarks lead to more condescending remarks. Yes, this is a community. If a person wants to be a part of it, they should be conscious of how their posts come across.

I don't even think yesterday was that bad. She threw out "slaves to their children" and that's when I got offended. Still, I think I managed to stay respectful when responding to her. She then felt she was being targeted and left the discussion. Don't throw around those sorts of terms if you can't deal with what will ultimately follow.

tbmadeamistake

My brother's gf posted to FB the other day asking for prayers because his temp was so high and she felt helpless.  A few things were wrong with that, namely, if he is sick enough to need praying for, how about you let his actual family know what's going on before you post about it.  She tends to overreact, so I shrugged it off.  He just told me he had the bird flu.  I laughed, out loud, luckily he's not here.  Only my brother would get the bird flu in the middle of RI having not gone anywhere recently of any note. 

Lindsleigh77

My DH is driving me nutso.

He had a headache yesterday and last night and still not feeling well this morning which sucks but he acts like it is his right to be rude because he doesn't feel 100%. Like seriously I get it I really do but a headache does not equal laying on the couch all night and not speaking to me at all, then again short with me this morning. Its really infuriating.

Does he not realize I have not felt 100% for months now and in no way is it ever okay if I come home from work go straight to the couch and don't speak or interact the whole night......it makes me insane and want to just scream at him but I know it will just make things worse so I try to be extra nice and I am constantly being met with shortness, one word answers or annoyance from him.

I don't know if this really counts as a FFFC but I guess my FFFC is that I want to punch my DH in the face and tell him to grow the eff up. Its ridiculous that he behaves so bitchy when he is feeling unwell, and its every time, whether its a headache or a cold or whatever...... I am so totally annoyed with his behavior.

I am a sensitive person and the way he is acting makes me feel as if I have done something wrong or he's mad at me and its more than just his "headache" even though rationally I know I haven't done anything to warrant it and its just how he is when he is sick. Its childlike honestly, even my 4 year old is more pleasant to be around when he is sick.

End rant

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lest12

My FFFC is that I think I have been unusually selfish during pregnancy.  I'm either totally preoccupied, or just not doing things that I don't feel like doing (like, if I'm going to get uncomfortable going for an all-day shopping tripe, or out for a late night dinner).

I'm torn between feeling really bad and enjoying it.  I've spent most of my life doing everything I've felt like I was supposed to be doing.  It's nice to have a reason to make myself/my family the top priority.  On the other hand, I think maybe I could pay a little more attention to what is going on with everyone else in my life.

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lest12

Narwhalicorns - Congrats!  Enjoy today!

As PP said, there's always some sort of adjustment in relationships, this is just one of them.  Try not to build it up too much (like I do/did when we were getting hitched).

I hope you have a lovely time today and enjoy the ceremony and whatever else you have planned.

kbellizio3

my FFFC: I HATE blue pens...I will look all over the house for a black pen before I use a blue pen.

lest12

Post-whoring, but I have another FFFC that I forgot about...

I was getting on the elevator at work the other day and a slightly older man (like, 10-15 years older than me) started flirting with me.

On one hand, I thought it was kind of weird because, you know, I'm obviously pregnant.  But on the other hand, since he wasn't creepy about it and gave off a very harmless vibe, I was kind of flattered.  

I feel like I need an obligatory "DH is a great husband who lets me know I'm desired and we are rock solid" follow-up, but that all goes without saying.  I love DH. 

 

ETA:  After I posted I just thought maybe this kind of made me sound pathetic, ha.

jshrop

@lest12‌ Congrats girl to springboard off that, I have to confess...... I am kinda sad that no one hits on me. I am not some knockout, I'm not even sure that I'm pretty, but I used to get double takes or the occasional "Hey guuuurl, what's your name?" You know, it was a little confidence booster. Now... Nothing. Not a damn word. I'm not sure when I realized it (because again, it wasn't that often) but it makes me sad. (Even hubs doesn't say anything anymore). Maybe I should adjust either my attitude or the quantity of make-up? Lol

shakeweights

ricecakes1216 said:

I have another confession. I'm sitting here waiting for my blood draw for my glucose test and I'm being a complete baby. I'm so nauseated, jittery and sweaty. I just want to cry. It's totally ridiculous, I know, but I've been up since 3:30 and I'm feeling extra hormonal. I hope I don't have to do the three hour. I can just imagine what kind of baby I'll be then.. And I hate my outfit today! Waaahhhh!

@ricecakes1216 - sorry you're feeling gross!! Keep me posted on how your test goes ok?? And I'm sure you're outfit looks fine!