So I know that people have posted about their preferences for hospital versus home or birthing center births, and obs versus midwives, but I want your opinions about what you're thinking about in terms of your laboring environment.
I have decided (not sure why, maybe cause I am a nurse?), that I will give birth in a hospital. I went with an OB because I wanted to labor at the hospital I work in (Massachusetts General Hospital), and they only had OB's at the satellite MGH ob office near my house. So … so far I have made all my decisions based on convenience for me, nothing to do with the birth of my child.
Anyway I've been watching/reading a lot about the labor, and the birthing process (FTM here), and I'm getting more worried about the hospital setting being too "controlling". I have read some stories where the doctors and nurses say … "If you don't progress by 5pm, we will induce you", this after 5 or 6 hours of labor! I guess my issue is that I want the most natural labor at the hospital that I can have. I want everything to try and progress as naturally as possible. I understand that things happen and I am prepared for this, but I just don't want the process to be moved along just because others are impatient. Also, I want the atmosphere to be as calming, quiet as possible. I realize with music and my own meditation etc, I can help make this happen, but I am worried about doctors coming in and out, and people talking around me who I don't want to be talking while I am trying to push a baby out my vag.
I feel like I am the type of person who may prefer a birthing center/midwife, or even a home birth, but given this is my first time, I definitely want the option of the medical advances the hospital can provide. I guess I need to discuss this all with my OB and I'm sure I'll have a better idea about how this could all go down, but I was wondering if anyone had any thoughts/advice - from experienced moms, or FTM's who maybe have given this some thought!
Re: The Birth Process … kind of long sorry.
My hospital experience wasn't the best but I have a healthy baby and other than pitocin and not being able to walk around, there wasn't much control and staff was pretty scarce. Also when you're focusing on getting baby down that canal that's all you're really focusing on, not all the other people around.
Really, its a personal choice! I think talking to your OB and a midwife would be really good in making the decision.
ETA: Apostrophes are complicated.
Logan born October 31, 2011
30 dx with PCOS 2010 treating with metformin
DS1 12-29-11 DS2 11-4-14
BFP 10/19/13 missed mc at 5 weeks d&c 11/18/13
BFP 2/16/14 Please stick baby! ! EDD 10/31/14
DX with septate uterus 3/1/14
Edited for typos
Also, there are birthing centers that are in hospitals.
After all the research I've done I've found that birthing with a midwife is just as safe as with a doc or OB (if it's a healthy pregnancy with no red flags and stuff). It's your personal choice though and what you are more comfortable with. It just sounds to me that you want the atmosphere and everything of a birthing center with the safety of a hospital and like I said, it's just as safe if you have a healthy pregnancy. You should talk to your OB and I definitely think you should talk to at least one midwife.
othing at all against people who decide to birth in hospitals. I know that when I start talking about why I want to birth in a birth center it can make people thing I'm judging their decision to birth in a hospital. Not at all.
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Talk to your OB about your birth plan but go with an open mind that things won't go as planned and that it's OK. Just let go and go with the flow
Your music and meditation is a great tool to have. Then you can tune out whoever or whatever is annoying you and messing with your vibe.
I opted to go home. I returned 12 hours later and was admitted as I was 4cm dilated. I told them I wanted an epidural ASAP and that I didn't want them to break my water until I had the epi. They listened to both. Now, I was pretty surprised when I was told my OB wasn't coming until I was 10cm dilated and ready to push. So basically, I was at the mercy of a labor nurse I had never met before and a slew of students and residents to get me through labor. Luckily, my labor nurse was amazing so I had a good experience, but it is scary to be in the hands of people you don't know.
My OB, once she came, was awesome and let me push for 5 hours! (The nurse kept saying I would be going for a c-section if I didn't push harder and I broke down crying, but it worked!) everything ended well and I felt safe being in the hospital. If I wanted a natural and med-free birth, I would probably hire a doula because I really need a good coach. I'm hoping DH can be more of a help this to me this time.
I think the most important thing is to be educated about the labor process and what could happen. I knew a lot about induction and knew I didn't want it if possible. I knew about the epidural, the IV, the catheter, the possible other drugs they could give me if I wanted/needed them. It really helped me stay as calm as possible knowing about it. Of course there are always curveballs (my epi didn't take the first time and had to be redone, I pushed for FIVE hours), but overall knowledge was so helpful.
BFP#1: 11/20/11, EDD 7/25/12, Emily Iris arrived 7/29/12 at 7 lb., 3.5 oz.
BFP#2: 8/25/13, EDD 5/4/14, MMC confirmed on 9/23/13, D&C on 9/26/13
BFP#3: 2/3/14, EDD 10/15/14, fraternal TWINS confirmed 2/21/14, two BOYS confirmed on 4/15/14!
A few things come to mind that are advantageous to creating a positive birth environment and experience:
1. Surround yourself with a stellar labor support team (DH, doula, friend, sister, mom...whoever will be the most supportive and will have the most "tools" for helping you manage your labor)
2. Labor at home as long as possible (your support team can help you feel safe and confident in doing this well
3. Choose a hospital that is accredited "baby friendly" or that has baby friendly policies (like kangaroo care, rooming in, no separation of mom and baby, reputable LCs on staff, etc.)
Link to baby friendly accreditation site so you can see if your hospital is on the list:
https://www.babyfriendlyusa.org
ETA: natural birth technique classes and preparing a birth plan can help you too!
I didn't either, but then my SIL suggested I read Ina May's "Guide to Childbirth". This started the whole thing, totally made me want an opinion.
I didn't either, but then my SIL suggested I read Ina May's "Guide to Childbirth". This started the whole thing, totally made me want an opinion.
This is so true! And there are so many things you might think are outside your control but they really aren't...like not having baby taken off your abdomen for 1-2 hours after birth. Unless baby's health requires them to be elsewhere, a healthy baby doesn't need to be weighed and measured immediately. All examinations can be done right there on mama's chest, and bonding can begin without being set on a cold scale or being wiped off.
It's simple things like allowing the vernix to be rubbed in to baby's skin instead of rubbed off with a towel, and being able to keep baby against your skin every moment, that are actually quite significant and important to lots of mothers planning their births.
I've had all kinds of patients. From limited fetal monitoring, walking, jacuzzi to patients who just want an epidural and pitocin and to be done! The most important thing to remember (in my opinion) is to be flexible. We want you to be happy with your birth experience, but we also want to be safe and aware. Personally, the only thing I get antsy about is people who refuse the NSL. I really want it in, even if there aren't any fluids running, just in case! In the end we all want the same thing......Healthy mom, healthy baby, happy dad! FWIW, my second was completely natural with no fluids or pitocin with an early discharge from the hospital. It was great but I was more comfortable knowing that if there was some crazy unforeseen complications, I had a great team ready to respond. Good luck with whatever you decide!
I delivered at Beverly, they are very "non-controlling" about the birth process. I felt comfortable I had both doctors that supported me in the kind of delivery/experience I wanted, but that the power of great medical care was right there as well. (Beverly actually has a birth center right on the property of the hospital as well as an option for people).
I'm not sure how Mass General functions, but I never once felt controlled or pressured in my hospital setting.
Good luck!
EDD: 10/10/14
Mommy to Jake, born 12/19/12
Look around, student Doulas can be hired for a steep discount.
You should work with your OB to develop your birth plan before hand, though. If your OB is on board with your birth plan then you should be able to labor how you want. And it's probably already been said but I didn't read through all the PP, you could always check your hospital's policies.
I completely understand where you're coming from, OP. I would feel the same way in general back home, and would probably end up at a birthing center that is affiliated with a hospital. I would do as PP suggested: talk with the OB, get a dula, and kick a wretched nurse to the curb if she's squashing your joy the day of. Maybe even tell your OB that you intend to ask for replacements if the nurse isn't vibing with you? I would do whatever you feel you need to do without regard for what anyone else thinks - this is your time and your experience!
GL!
Native NYC-ers living in Switzerland - First time parents - 36 + 37
TTC: 8 Months / BFP: 2/8/2014 / EDD: 10/20/2014
I'm in MA as well, and I thought (FTM here, my research might be wrong) Midwives have to be CNMs and have to have hospital affiliations, if they don't they are technically "illegal" in MA. I went with a practice that has midwives and doctors, I chose midwives, and am giving birth at a hospital. Luckily, our hospital is very what mom wants centric, and with the midwife even more so. I would do some research on your hospital and ask other people who have given birth there what their experiences were. good luck!
This is my fourth time around and I plan on laboring as long as possible before going in and then having the baby at the hospital. I am comfortable with that decision because I have been through the process a few times and I know how labor will most likely go for me.
The nurses were amazing for me. During the birth of DD1, her dad's crazy stepmom kept coming in and taking pictures of me like some insane paparazzo. The nurse told me that if I wanted someone to stay out that she would be the bad guy and make up a reason to keep them out. Which was awesome.The stepmom wouldn't listen to me, but she did listen to the nurse.
Emma Rose - 9.14.05 Beckett - 5.26.07 Sawyer - 9.22.12 Lennon Mae - 9.26.14