UO Thursday!

KellersPrag · March 2014

I'll definitely come back to play a bit today.

ktnicole · March 2014

Lurked parenting yesterday. My uo: its okay to expect that I will not allow my child to dress in certain ways.

You can dress your child however you like and I will teach my child to accept differences but she won't be able to dress just however she wants. This mostly applies to showing excess skin or inappropriate slogans/images if that is still a thing.

MeatballEsq · March 2014

ktnicole said:
Lurked parenting yesterday. My uo: its okay to expect that I will not allow my child to dress in certain ways.

You can dress your child however you like and I will teach my child to accept differences but she won't be able to dress just however she wants. This mostly applies to showing excess skin or inappropriate slogans/images if that is still a thing.

At what age are we talking? 7 or 17?

MeatballEsq · March 2014

I agree with a recent ruling that women should be able to ban whoever they want from the delivery room, including the father.

Flamingemu · March 2014

MeatballEsq said:

Lurked parenting yesterday. My uo: its okay to expect that I will not allow my child to dress in certain ways. You can dress your child however you like and I will teach my child to accept differences but she won't be able to dress just however she wants. This mostly applies to showing excess skin or inappropriate slogans/images if that is still a thing.
At what age are we talking? 7 or 17?

I think either way, you can still expect that your kid isn't going to leave the house looking obscene if that is what is expected of them all their life.

That doesn't mean there won't be changing in the car once they have gotten somewhere (maybe talking about myself...)

MeatballEsq · March 2014

LoisLayn23 said:

MeatballEsq said:

Lurked parenting yesterday. My uo: its okay to expect that I will not allow my child to dress in certain ways. You can dress your child however you like and I will teach my child to accept differences but she won't be able to dress just however she wants. This mostly applies to showing excess skin or inappropriate slogans/images if that is still a thing.
At what age are we talking? 7 or 17?

It started with babies in bikinis. Then it became "my husband doesn't want me dressing like a skank" which went south quickly.

I'm guessing my husband doesn't want me dressing like a skank either. My UO is I'm ok with that.

@Flamingemu‌ I agree that this could happen. I wouldn't pay for the clothes, that's for sure, but I would actually rather they put it on on the house so I can know exactly how revealing we're talking about.

MeatballEsq · March 2014

@LoisLayn23‌ FTR I don't agree with the skank term, I just used it since that was the saying thrown out there. So I see how that argument could go south.

MeatballEsq · March 2014

Also I think it's a huge leap to go from saying someone dresses like a skank, to her asking to be raped. A woman could be a prostitute, and dressed like a prostitute, and not be asking for it. I know you agree with this, I just think some people (not you but I'm guessing someone on parenting did) make that jump of a conclusion and it's a pretty big leap.

melody921 · March 2014

On the sluttiness/rape topic, this is from last week on Parenting, but I just remembered: Not once did I ever think "Blurred Lines" was about anything rape-related.

willy_gert · March 2014

I watched a parody of blurred lines after that conversation and laughed the whole time.

I want my daughter to choose modesty, therefore I will dress her modestly now.

AlinnJo · March 2014

I love Eminem. Love. Love. Love. And I really like his new song about his mom.

MeatballEsq · March 2014

AlinnJo said:
I love Eminem. Love. Love. Love. And I really like his new song about his mom.

It really shows how far he's come, don't you think? Kinda crazy.

willy_gert · March 2014

I'm late and I'm guessing it has to do with stress but I am totally and completely freaked out that I might be PG. I don't want to be PG. <-- That is an UO for most.

AlinnJo · March 2014

MeatballEsq said:

I love Eminem. Love. Love. Love. And I really like his new song about his mom.
It really shows how far he's come, don't you think? Kinda crazy.

Yes I totally agree. I remember listening to the song Cleaning Out My Closet and thinking how angry he's sounded. I like how he references it in his new song. He's definitely come a long way.

ktnicole · March 2014

If thats toward me LL, I happen to be on my way to work. Currently just dropped the kid off at daycare. Sorry that doesn't fit in the rules.

I'll respond further when I'm at work.

Flamingemu · March 2014

ktnicole said:

If thats toward me LL, I happen to be on my way to work. Currently just dropped the kid off at daycare. Sorry that doesn't fit in the rules. I'll respond further when I'm at work.

Don't think it was about you.

MeatballEsq · March 2014

LoisLayn23 said:

ktnicole said:

If thats toward me LL, I happen to be on my way to work. Currently just dropped the kid off at daycare. Sorry that doesn't fit in the rules. I'll respond further when I'm at work.

Huh?

I have no clue what she's talking about.

melody921 · March 2014

I think frozen yogurt can almost be considered healthy because hey, probiotics and fruit, yo.

willy_gert · March 2014

Flamingemu said:

ktnicole said:

If thats toward me LL, I happen to be on my way to work. Currently just dropped the kid off at daycare. Sorry that doesn't fit in the rules. I'll respond further when I'm at work.

Don't think it was about you.

I think it was the drive by BFPs she was talking about.

Bookelly · March 2014

AlinnJo said:

I love Eminem. Love. Love. Love. And I really like his new song about his mom.

I was thinking about this while driving into work today (singing along with Monster). It was going to be my UO, as well

. He's phenomenally talented!

Flamingemu · March 2014

melody921 said:

I think frozen yogurt can almost be considered healthy because hey, probiotics and fruit, yo.

hahaha

AlinnJo · March 2014

LoisLayn23 said:

AlinnJo said:

MeatballEsq said:

I love Eminem. Love. Love. Love. And I really like his new song about his mom.
It really shows how far he's come, don't you think? Kinda crazy.
Yes I totally agree. I remember listening to the song Cleaning Out My Closet and thinking how angry he's sounded. I like how he references it in his new song. He's definitely come a long way.
I stumbled across an old CD from 2005 that had a bunch of Eminem on it. Toy Soldiers, Stan, Mockingbird, holy shit that stuff is intense. He had a lot of rage.

Uhhhh yes. And I think rage is putting it lightly. I think my mom would have grounded me in HS if she knew I was listening to those songs a lot!

AlinnJo · March 2014

Yes he did. But he was always very protective of his daughter!

MarisaKathleen · March 2014

I think making the leap from dressing skanky to asking for rape is stupid and that people that suggest it are just looking to stir the pot, which is how I think most things on parenting go. Pretty sure that everyone has judged someone for looking "skanky" or dressing provocatively.

When I was thinner, I dressed "skanky" from time to time, but also, I was kind of a slut. If I wasn't looking for the attention, I wouldn't have dressed that way. I was definitely trying to get noticed when I got all gussied up, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I guess I don't really think it's a big deal if you're dressing a certain way in certain environments. Clearly wearing it to work = stupid, but wearing it to a bar = totally acceptable.

I also think comparing Miley to Taylor Swift is apples to kittens. They're both classified as "pop" but I wouldn't put them in the same genre. I think Taylor is way more pop and Miley seems like she crosses into different genres.

ktnicole · March 2014

LoisLayn23 said:

MeatballEsq said:

ktnicole said:

If thats toward me LL, I happen to be on my way to work. Currently just dropped the kid off at daycare. Sorry that doesn't fit in the rules. I'll respond further when I'm at work.

Huh?

I have no clue what she's talking about. It's very angry. I'm thoroughly confused.

Not ragey but my defens-dar must be in hyperactive mode. I'm going to drink my coffee now. I've been accused many moons ago of p/r too often and after multiple replies where I didn't respond- I thought it was toward me.

ktnicole · March 2014

To the original question. I understand that teens will push boundaries and honestly I am okay if she sneaks out to change. I did it. I knew I wasn't supposed to and why. I was a slutbag at times and turned out okay.

MarisaKathleen · March 2014

LoisLayn23 said:

Well, once I felt comfortable in my own skin at 18-21, I dressed in clothes that flattered me. I wasnt' trying to be skanky, I wasn't trying to get attention (positive or negative) I was dressing that way because it made ME feel good.

STUCK.

I think the definition of skanky is different for everyone, kinda like the realm of normal. I can't picture you dressing in what I would consider skanky.

MRoxy0628 · March 2014

Car seat safety is not a hot button issue for me. I will follow the laws and best practices myself and I care enough to say something to friends and family, but otherwise I likely won't.

edited for clarity

BeebopandBuddy · March 2014

I agree that it's silly to think that your kids shouldn't get messy, they are children, it comes naturally to them. I also think it's crazy to get mad when they make a mess of the house. This brought to you by my mother who spent most of the three days that she visited running around picking up their toys because she said it was driving her crazy. When they are home all day, I pick them up before lunch and before bed. Running around cleaning all day is a losing battle.

MarisaKathleen · March 2014

I really didn't think Nancy needed a helmet to be on her Radio Flyer trike.

BPer · March 2014

TheAnne said:

my kid HATES having her hands dirty. but is usually thoroughly painted with whatever she had for lunch. as long as it isn't on her hands, she's happy.

DD is this way too. Whenever they paint at daycare, they make a comment on her daily sheet like "Hannah chose not to paint today". If she has access to a tub of water, she will repeatedly wash her hands.

...maybe she's OCD.

MomtobeNJ · March 2014

MarisaKathleen said:

I really didn't think Nancy needed a helmet to be on her Radio Flyer trike.

So funny you said this. DD has one of those too. She can't even reach the peddles and she'd rather push it around than sit in it herself. But she tolerated riding in it for 1/2 a lap around the park last weekend and it suddenly dawned on me, "Holy crap, she should really have a helmet, I guess." I guess I just didn't equate it with a "bike" so I never really thought about a helmet.

willy_gert · March 2014

MarisaKathleen said:

I really didn't think Nancy needed a helmet to be on her Radio Flyer trike.

I didn't think Luci needed one either for her Radio Flyer trike. I've decided I have too much to worry about to care about her wearing a helmet on a trike that she literally cannot get into or out of on her own.

watercolor5 · March 2014

I think it's a totally different thing allowing a child to dress provocatively, and dressing that way as an adult. A lot of time teenagers don't know the message they're sending with their clothes (and the message is not Rape Me obviously, but dressing in a sexually provocative way does provoke people to think of you sexually.)

I see the way my nieces dress, and I think they're a little innocent of how boys/men look at them in those clothes. So yes, I will impose dressing standards on my daughters at least until they understand perceptions and the message they're putting out. For example, when I was in high school everyone wore those shorts with words on the ass. I never thought of them as anything but innocent/fun, but the boys in our class were definitely staring at and thinking about our asses when we wore them. When they're in college, they can dress how they want, but I'll try to teach them what's appropriate before then.

Flamingemu · March 2014

MarisaKathleen said:

I really didn't think Nancy needed a helmet to be on her Radio Flyer trike.

In most places the bike laws are for 2 wheels, not 3, so technically she doesn't need a helmet. That said, my kid is already showing signs of 'well, i didn't have to do it that way last time' that I don't want to fight with her when she is on 2 wheels. Plus she has a strider bike that does require a helmet, so I have her in one for consistency.

FWIW, it only took her 2 rides to stop fighting the helmet.

watercolor5 · March 2014

I wish my kids were more comfortable getting messy. DD checks her high chair for crumbs before she sits in it, and will pick them up crumb. by. crumb. before she'll take a seat.

I don't think trikes require helmets either, from a safety standpoint and at the speed they're going, but it does make sense to know what the rules will be for helmets, and start enforcing them from the beginning. My UO, I just don't like to get flamed on a child safety issue, cause that's the kind of thing that will make me feel like a horrible mom.

Flamingemu · March 2014

Not a UO (I doubt at least) but I am pissed about the Prime prices going up. I know it will still be worth it for us, but $99 just seems like SO much for free shipping and all the other perks without knowing exactly how much I have saved so far.

OceanLover26 · March 2014

I've been out a couple of weeks for job training but I wanted to add a UO that I noticed while shadowing at work. I'll go in order though. Oh, and this is tl:dr.

Eminiem is awesome.

Froyo is goooood.

I get that everyone has a different definition of a skank. I always imagine someone that doesn't wash their hair and is okay with smelling like eew. If I skip washing my hair a few days and it's greasy I'm like "sorry, I'm skanking out today". Probably not along the same lines of what you all are talking about but just an example of how different my skank idea is from others. Now dressing provocative, I think everyone goes through that and it's just real important to talk to you tween/teen about it so they know how to conduct themselves and understand the attention they might receive (and consequencest). If they want to change after they leave the house, I'm sure they'll find a way to do it, but at least they know what could happen.

I stopped matching my kids a LONG time ago. Dexter went to daycare yesterday with a black and gold Adidas track suite, a navy blue t shirt that said "Go Blue", white socks, and sandals (because none of his size 6 shoes fit anymore). I think it's okay for kids to get messy but once the mess has been made, I clean it up because if not then it spreads to everything.

I think that even if you have "experience" working with kids you should be respectful enough to sit back and listen to your instructors with an open mind so you will know their policies and how their facility functions. This UO brought to you by the retired principal in my training that keeps interrupting the instructors with "And the thing about what you mentioned is :::insert long ass diatribe here:::" and being corrected repeatedly by the trainers with "no, we don't do that here." At one point the retired principal brought up paddling and "how they'd handle kids back in the day" and the instructors reamed him on the legal ramifications of that and the like. I've had so many SMH moments in the past two weeks just from this guy talking. I get it....he's got experience with kids, but some things he says are so flammable!

BPer · March 2014

I won't put Hannah in a bikini because that's more surface area that I need to cover with sunscreen, not because I feel it is sexualizing her.

Pokedot · March 2014

I don't like it when people have 2+ kids and dress them identically from head to toe. LIke 2 boys or 2 girls. Complimenting attire fine (for pictures, events etc) not in every day life and not the same damn outfit down to the socks. It seems so stupid to me.

miss50 · March 2014

I finally have one.

I don't believe cities and municipalities should have to cover damage endured to a vehicle that is damaged by a pothole. Slow down, pay attention, and your car wouldn't be jacked up.

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