WWYD: Switching Providers (really long but I need some advice)

jshrop · March 2014

Okay, I am aware this makes me an AW for starting this thread, but I'm feeling a bit lost and I need advice. Who better to get advice from than my bumpie friends.
So here's the deal. A while back I had started questioning my OB/GYN in terms of her appropriateness for my wishes. I often felt like she pushed me off quickly and didn't really answer my questions, she would tell me to reference what to expect books or pamphlets. Anyway, as of late I've been doing a lot more reading and researching into L&D as well as healthy pregnancy as a whole. I realized that I've been treating this more as an "illness" than something that was completely natural. My mother always had us at the doctor as a kid, but since going to college the only time I've been to a doc was for annual screenings and once I had food poisoning. I think monthly visits etc brought up those "I must be sick" thoughts I had as a kid.

So fast forward to today. I had my monthly checkup and GD screening. During the checkup the doc made an offhand comment to me that I should try and make sure I have a small baby because they're easier for women to deliver (I kid you not. Made me think of those Anti-tobacco commercials from like 5 years ago). Anyway, then I asked her about being Group B Strep positive and what the hospital's policy was for water births in regards to women being GBS positive. Her reply was "that's more of a California new age thing. No one does those here." I live in Savannah, GA. It is a small city, but I'm delivering at a state of the art hospital with a level III neonatal Icu. This isn't some po-dunk hospital in the middle of nowhere. I asked her about why the hospital lists Jacuzzi tubs on their website if they aren't offered and she replied they have showers, but I'll have to ask on my tour. And, unless I want to pay $75 for their prepared childbirth class (which is always full) I'm not getting the tour until May 4th.
Here's my problem (and kudos if you've stuck in there this far).... I am really getting scared that my OB isn't going to respect my wishes for childbirth. I'm afraid she will be more of the interventionist when it isn't really necessary. At this point I'm still learning what options are out there and it's only through researching on my own. I'm not against interventions if they are necessary, but I'm afraid this doc will hand me a pamphlet and say "This is why your baby will die if I don't do a c-section now." There is a mid-wife group less than 2 miles away from my house (the hospital is 10 minutes tops). I've put in a call to ask some questions, but am waiting to hear back. My question is this... With such short time left, would you switch? Am I overreacting (because I'm a horrible judge of that lately)? Tips, thoughts, or other SS Shaming will all be accepted.

I also want to add, I chose this obgyn because they were the first listed on google when I got my BFP and I was panicking, I never looked for a provider past that. Edited for terrible spelling issues.

maggiexxx · March 2014

Omg I'm in the same boat all the way down to the same reason why I picked my ob. Lol I think you should switch.

sparklenshine_89 · March 2014

I think you should do what you feel you should do. If you think that your OBGYN isn't complying with you while you are pregnant then you should switch to someone who will listen to you and not stress you out during labor when you are trying to do what you want UNLESS it is extremely necessary to do it another way.

deepoceanmama · March 2014

To me, your ob sounds mega shitty. I don't think it's too late to switch at all! My H and I just decided last week to switch from birthing at the hospital to a birthing center for many of the same reasons. On D-day, the most important thing is your health and LO's, but I think the second most important thing is your comfort with your provider. You have to trust him, or you will spend your whole delivery doubting the whole process!! GL!

MrsCase1 · March 2014

I think this is a post worthy of its own, and not lumped in with another thread so don't feel bad.

Over the months it doesn't seem like you've had any positive interractions with her so I definitely think it would be worth it to investigate someone else. Can never hurt to empower yourself by asking questions and interviewing other people. However, time is of the essence so I would throw some energy into this NOW!

katekat8721 · March 2014

If you're not happy and comfortable I would switch.

Other thoughts, I'd see if you can do a consultation with the midwives center before you switch to make sure you like them (also for any potential new OB). If you decide to stay at your OB you could maybe look into a dula? If heaven forbid something would go wrong, the midwives would have you go to the same hospital and NICU center anyways right?

Sorry this is stressful

I hope you're able to find a provider you love!

catsinawindow · March 2014

I think this is one of those things that you need to go with your gut on. If you feel like your provider isn't going to honor your wishes, you are probably right.

FWIW, I'm seeing a MW group this time and LOVE them! Their model of care is rather different than an OB practice, and while I did like the OB I had with DS, if I could do it over again, I would have gone with a MW last time too.

Best of luck with whatever you choose.

otter1103 · March 2014

I agree with PP if you are not comfortable with current OB then I would definitely look into visiting another one. I would like to think in perfect world that if you met with another and stated you didn't feel comfortable that s/he had your very best interests in mind that the new one would be completely understanding. I hope you and all of the other ladies with similar issues get some resolution soon.

k2k2tog · March 2014

If you can, it sounds to me like you would be more comfortable switching. You already have doubts about your OB. That doesn't seem like a good way to be looking ahead to labour!

That said, what are the chances that your OB would actually do the delivery? Here, I'll get whichever OB happens to be on call. So, if you can't switch at this point, take the hospital tour and get a feel for hospital policies etc. The hospital itself may end up being more important for labour and delivery than your OB.

jshrop · March 2014

Thanks ladies! It's always good to feel like you aren't entirely crazy (read entirely lol). And @lalala8‌ yeah, something has bugged me for a while about her. I'm trying not to sound too crunchy, like I'm not looking to deliver "at the farm" or eating my placenta after I give birth (and kudos to you ladies who plan to! Just not for me!), but I do want to try and have an unmedicated vaginal birth if possible. And I'd like to labor (if not deliver) in water. It just makes sense. And both the women and babies seem calmer. Anyway, apparently that won't happen if she delivers my kid.
I'm going to make an appointment at the Midwife group and see what I think before making any decisions.and @katekat8721‌ , I didn't even think about transferring to that hospital if needed, but you're right. Kiddo would still end up there if that's what she needs. Thanks for the perspective.

jaybee11 · March 2014

You have another vote for looking into other options. I'd honestly have a huge problem with any provider that waves off a serious inquiry with some flippant remark about being a "California new age thing." Even if it's not something that hospital or practice does, she should be willing to discuss your questions in a professional manner.

There's still time--you're at the very beginning of your third trimester. That's three months' worth of appointments (and more frequent ones at that) for you to get established with a different practice. With all the uncertainties of pregnancy and delivery, you should be able to finish things out feeling comfortable that you and your LO will be well cared for. Good luck!

DagnyDoo · March 2014

Ditto everyone above! It's been proven time and time again that a mother's intuition during pregnancy and childbirth is not to be trifled with, and clearly yours is screaming that this is not a good fit. Even if your OB is perfectly fine, you not trusting her is going to completely disrupt any serenity you can find during the birth. Get out of there! There are too many wonderful providers out there for you to be settling for one you aren't happy with. And even though you're 27 weeks, it's not like you're 37 weeks having this discussion! There's plenty of time.

jshrop · March 2014

ktwils2010 · March 2014

Switch. Definitely - if you aren't comfortable you should find a better option. I second what all pp's have said!

ElTrain5 · March 2014

Here is my honest opinion. She is exactly what you think she is. She will do exactly what you are afraid she will do. That will happen. If you don't want it to , you need to switch. People switch much later than you are right now and are fine. No harm, no foul. She probably won't notice you're gone. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but things are not going tomagically get better once you go into labor. She will intervene as she sees fit, and s the will treat you feelings and wishes as she does right now, as "California new agey" crap. ETA This is YOUR birth, this is YOUR body. if you don't take action to make sure your providers are the ones who will respect it, then they won't and you will have to live with the consequences. I'm not saying she's going to hurt you or anything, but give you the birth it sounds like you want (and DESERVE)...and are paying for? Nope nope nope. Hopefully you hear back from the midwife group. Otherwise i'd look into getting a doula and start training DH to be your advocate ASAP.

nunzchucks · March 2014

@lizardbreath14 recently switched, I think. Tagging so she sees this.

I'm on team switch.

jshrop · March 2014

Hubs will definitely advocate no matter what. I just worry. A lot. I don't want him or me to get scared into something I don't want. Thanks for the advice ladies!

temursgirl · March 2014

Switch!

Seriously, being comfortable with someone providing you medical treatment is essential. She is responsible for something incredibly important here, and you don't really trust her judgment. Absolutely interview the MW. Maybe other OBs too. Even though it's late in the game, I think if you call around looking for a "second opinion" they will take you.

Also, you can call the hospital and ask them about birthing policies. You don't have to wait for the tour to find out. Ask if they do water births, rates of c-sections, etc. if you want to know, who does deliveries there (your OB, MW, on call docs).

rastrau · March 2014

If you're not comfortable with your OB, then you should switch. Childbirth is an incredibly personal experience and if your OB isn't treating you like a person now, I wouldn't trust them to do so when the moment really counts.

I felt the same about the OB I had been seeing for years and when I got pregnant and I decided to look into other options. Based on my older sister's experiences after 3 no-drug vaginal deliveries, I moved to a midwife group and could not be happier with them. They listen to me, they answer my questions, and generally leave me feeling good about my choice. Their practice includes several OBs that would be called in if I needed a c-section, but otherwise it would just be the midwives for delivery.

FWIW, my midwives work out of one of the nation's top hospitals (located in Chicago) and it offers tubs and the option to labor/deliver in them as well, so it's certainly not just some "California new age thing" and it's ludicrous of your OB to say so. She sounds like a jerk, honestly.

Good luck!

Edited: caught a couple of typos

jshrop · March 2014

Temurlang1 said:

Switch!

Seriously, being comfortable with someone providing you medical treatment is essential. She is responsible for something incredibly important here, and you don't really trust her judgment. Absolutely interview the MW. Maybe other OBs too. Even though it's late in the game, I think if you call around looking for a "second opinion" they will take you.

Also, you can call the hospital and ask them about birthing policies. You don't have to wait for the tour to find out. Ask if they do water births, rates of c-sections, etc. if you want to know, who does deliveries there (your OB, MW, on call docs).

Thanks! I wasn't sure about calling the hospital. Good idea.

temursgirl · March 2014

I forgot to mention I take umbrage at her "California new agey" comment. I live in California near some of the best hospitals in the country. She doesn't sound too up-to-date on L&D if she thinks what you want is so out there!

mjdavies · March 2014

Switch it up for sure. The chances of the doctor you regularly see delivering the baby is slim so it shouldn't matter too much switching to a new practice at this point. At least with a new practice or midwives you'll be guarenteed to NOT have her deliver your baby. Good luck!

hubbs173 · March 2014

I agree with PP about switching!! If you're not comfortable with your OB now, I can't imagine what you'll feel like when you're in labor! You don't wanna be stressed out or worried during labor! I'd want to be with a dr that takes time to explain things to you and answers your questions. Also you want someone that will follow your birth plan!

My OB is actually leaving the practice and my last visit with her is Monday. I'm freaked out that I won't like/be comfortable with whoever she recommends I continue my pregnancy with.

FX that everything works out for you!!!

ElTrain5 · March 2014

@rastrau are you with NMPG midwives? That's my regulars docs but I'm with a MW group out in Hinsdale

rastrau · March 2014

@ElTrain5 - yes! I totally see NMPG midwives!

And my elder sister's MW was out of Hinsdale, I don't know the group's name though.

jshrop · March 2014

Thanks @lizardbreath14‌!

shellbell813 · March 2014

I'm team switch.

She sounds quite ditzy and a little incompetent in my opinion and that would make me very uncomfortable.

Also, hospital tours should totally be free. That's whack.

Pepper6 · March 2014

jshrop said:

Thanks ladies! It's always good to feel like you aren't entirely crazy (read entirely lol). And @lalala8‌ yeah, something has bugged me for a while about her. I'm trying not to sound too crunchy, like I'm not looking to deliver "at the farm" or eating my placenta after I give birth (and kudos to you ladies who plan to! Just not for me!), but I do want to try and have an unmedicated vaginal birth if possible. And I'd like to labor (if not deliver) in water. It just makes sense. And both the women and babies seem calmer. Anyway, apparently that won't happen if she delivers my kid.
I'm going to make an appointment at the Midwife group and see what I think before making any decisions.and @katekat8721‌ , I didn't even think about transferring to that hospital if needed, but you're right. Kiddo would still end up there if that's what she needs. Thanks for the perspective.

Even if you had an excellent relationship with your doctor and found her very helpful and attentive during your pregnancy, if she won't perform the type of L&D you'd like to attempt, then that would be enough to switch to someone who will.

TheMrs820 · March 2014

I agree with PP. You need to be comfortable with the care that you & your LO receive.

I would call the Midwife practice & check their policy on switching. Some practices will not take a new patient after a certain amount of weeks if they already have a provider.

As far as the jacuzzi @ the hospital, it is probably more for labor than actual water births.

GOOD LUCK & KEEP US POSTED!
eta:sp

steprozz · March 2014

@jshrop‌ are/were you planning on delivering at Memorial? I have such mixed feelings about that place. I don't know who your OB is but I know many who deliver there that are exactly what you are concerned about- early interventionists that don't follow your wishes and birth plan. I would make the switch! especially if you're that unhappy... you should love your birth experience and your provider. you should be comfortable with how and where you deliver.

jshrop · March 2014

@stephross88‌ yes! Are you in Savannah?

MrsP419 · March 2014

I had DD at a huge hospital with a large OB practice full people who were not super supportive of natural birth. I felt like I had to fight every step of the way for the birth I wanted, and trust me, you don't want to do that while in active labor. While I did get my med-free birth, it was a scarring experience.

I had DS at a low key regional hospital with a team of midwives. I had another med-free birth, this time in the water. My experience was 100% better. Even if I hadn't gotten the water birth, I felt like my team trusted my body and heard my wishes. They didn't even check me unless they felt they had good reason.

I say definitely consider switching. It really sucks feeling like you are being belittled and unsupported in your birth.

MollySm · March 2014

I would meet with the midwife and see how you feel. There's no reason not to go with whover makes you more comfortabl, even this late in the game. I would make sure to have a list of questions for the midwives, like where they deliver, what happens if a c-section is necessary, is an epidural available if you decide you want one, etc.

LadyMacaron · March 2014

Make the switch! I was in the exact same position, my doctor was scheduling way too many things and already talking to me about induction procedures. So, I made the switch at 20 weeks, even though I was super scared it was too late.

Best. Decision. Ever! I love the birth center and the care the midwives give me is miles away from what I was getting with my OB. I will be getting the birth experience I want (god willing) and I feel like I am in less risk there actually. They screen you very thoroughly, but f you are having a healthy pregnancy and are low risk, you shouldn't have any issues. And you are right, pregnancy is not an illness and too many of us get scared into thinking it is.

Go for it! I really do not think you'll regret. The hospital is 10 minutes from ours, and in 30 years they have never had a "oh my gosh, have to get her to the hospital ASAP!" Emergency. Most transfers occur because labor is stalled and mama just needs to be done. So, you always do have the option to transfer if labor isn't going the way you planned. You have options. Good luck!

tbmadeamistake · March 2014

I haven't read all the comments so I apologize if I'm repeating the pps. You can switch as many times as you'd like up until you have a baby's head coming out of your vagina. Doesn't matter how late, if you find another doc or midwife who will accept you as a patient, toi can switch. You should switch, IMO, if only for piece of mind.

jshrop · March 2014

Again, thank you so much ladies! I finally was able to talk to my husband further about this and he was pretty frustrated by the doc as well. I've contacted the midwife center to take a tour/meet with midwives. He said he absolutky wants to be there when I meet with them (which is a major step toward daddy involvement-- we may get there yet!). I also spoke with a woman who I met a few weeks ago. She uses the center and is due at the end of the month. She was a huge supporter of using them! She also let me know that if needed, they do transfer to my hospital, so that's also good to know!

brooklyngirl46 · March 2014

I agree with calling the MW practice, and find out what it would take to switch. It seems like this dr follows what she sees as a typical birth, and that's not what you picture for you.

You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. If after you talk to the MW group, you want to stick with your OB, then you always can. But you owe it to yourself, and your comfort to try.

momof5sept18 · March 2014

If you're this uncomfortable, you need to switch. Its never too late when it comes to your health, your LOs health, and your comfort.

steprozz · March 2014

@jshrop‌ I am not in savannah but worked in pediatrics in statesboro for 5 years before moving back to Atlanta so I saw many kids born there come to our practice. I have several friends who live there and have delivered at memorial and while some had great experiences there was a lot of disappointment as well. it's great that the birthing center will transfer there if it's necessary though! hopefully you find exactly what you are looking for in the midwives and birthing center and everything goes smoothly so you don't have to deal with memorial at all

jshrop · March 2014

Hour long appointments? My god I'm lucky to get 5 minutes with my doc and that is not an exaggeration! I'm at the office an hour, but 5 minutes tops with her!

ELC252011 · March 2014

Yes switch!!!! You should feel comfortable. Do it now before it's to late. Some offices stop taking patients after a cretin amout of weeks. Good luck hope you find a good OB

Want a personalized experience?

WWYD: Switching Providers (really long but I need some advice)

Re: WWYD: Switching Providers (really long but I need some advice)

Married DH 7/30/11

CSC arrived 5/7/12

CHC arrived 6/2/14

Choose Another Board

Search Boards