May 2014 Moms

**Update**Facebook**

13

Re: **Update**Facebook**

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  • I think I'd prefer private, but I'll join either way.
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  • If so much information is being asked for, how can you say closed is less work than secret? I think the standard should be the standard regardless. You're all about to put your personal names and pictures into the hands of each other. I would not join any group that wasn't handling my privacy as a top priority. Secret group, or don't bother.




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    It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s that I don’t know you. Stranger Danger.
  • Count me in! I am mobile generally so notifications on here for me are pointless unless I get my lazy ass up and get on the computer. 
  • XathXath member
    RedInLove said:

    If so much information is being asked for, how can you say closed is less work than secret? I think the standard should be the standard regardless. You're all about to put your personal names and pictures into the hands of each other. I would not join any group that wasn't handling my privacy as a top priority. Secret group, or don't bother.

    I think the difference is at least initially that a closed group places most of the onus of work on the people who are requesting membership, whereas a private group requires the admins to do the bulk of the work.

    There is no difference in the content viewability for non members in a closed vs a private group. The difference is that someone could search for "name of group" and could see that the group exists if it's Closed. You can't see who any of the members are unless you are already FB friends with those particular members.

    As for people having access to your real name and photos; perhaps it comes from having a tech background, but a forum name does not provide the level of anonymity that people assume. If someone really wants to find out who anyone is on here, it's not that hard. And for your photos, that's entirely dependent on how lax your FB privacy settings are. The group privacy setting for a FB group has no baring on how much of your information/content someone can see. Lock down your privacy settings and it doesn't matter. The only things that are public are your FB name and profile picture.

    The difference in the group privacy settings really only has to do with how people request membership to the group. Can they ask themselves or do they need to be invited by a member/admin? Either way, permission still has to be given before they can see any group members or content. Closed is less work for the admins, but as I am not one of them, I'd just leave it to them to decide how much work they want to do.

    Honestly, in terms of privacy, my personal philosophy is as follows: Never post anything anywhere on the internet (including email) that you would be concerned about being published in the Washington Post. Change your passwords and clear your cookies/caches regularly. Every few months, log out of all of your accounts and run internet searches on yourself to see what the average person can find out about you. Rinse and repeat.
    Lilypie - Personal picture Lilypie - Personal picture Lilypie - Personal picture 
     DS1 - 7/2011, DD 12/2012, DS2 - 4/2014, MMC - 12/2015
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  • Post a new thread on M14 with a link to the FB group. 
    If you post a thread to an FB group out in the open everyone can the members and subsequently see everyones private information.  How is that any different than the NEW! BETTER! BEST! FB Group @whatsherface started and posted other bumpies info here. 

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  • RedInLoveRedInLove member
    edited March 2014

    RedInLove said:

    If so much information is being asked for, how can you say closed is less work than secret? I think the standard should be the standard regardless. You're all about to put your personal names and pictures into the hands of each other. I would not join any group that wasn't handling my privacy as a top priority. Secret group, or don't bother.

    I think the difference is at least initially that a closed group places most of the onus of work on the people who are requesting membership, whereas a private group requires the admins to do the bulk of the work.

    There is no difference in the content viewability for non members in a closed vs a private group. The difference is that someone could search for "name of group" and could see that the group exists if it's Closed. You can't see who any of the members are unless you are already FB friends with those particular members.

    As for people having access to your real name and photos; perhaps it comes from having a tech background, but a forum name does not provide the level of anonymity that people assume. If someone really wants to find out who anyone is on here, it's not that hard. And for your photos, that's entirely dependent on how lax your FB privacy settings are. The group privacy setting for a FB group has no baring on how much of your information/content someone can see. Lock down your privacy settings and it doesn't matter. The only things that are public are your FB name and profile picture.

    The difference in the group privacy settings really only has to do with how people request membership to the group. Can they ask themselves or do they need to be invited by a member/admin? Either way, permission still has to be given before they can see any group members or content. Closed is less work for the admins, but as I am not one of them, I'd just leave it to them to decide how much work they want to do.

    Honestly, in terms of privacy, my personal philosophy is as follows: Never post anything anywhere on the internet (including email) that you would be concerned about being published in the Washington Post. Change your passwords and clear your cookies/caches regularly. Every few months, log out of all of your accounts and run internet searches on yourself to see what the average person can find out about you. Rinse and repeat.
    Due diligence is required by the admins either way. Onus and honesty aren't interchangeable. If the admin is taking everyone's word on it, then it's not a controlled environment, which means it's not safe for privacy. This essentially creates a free for all, or a situation like @kivakira created where really anyone can join. This is not good enough. NOBODY should join a group that is not being properly vetted. You might as well make it fully public and open if you're going to take everyone's word that they should be given access to my private information.




    photo May2014jpg photo MomTatWhiteNew40jpg

    It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s that I don’t know you. Stranger Danger.
  • I vote for a private one, but I'll be in either way!

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  • I definitely think that the mods on the FB group should be well-known, trusted members on this BMB. Perhaps PM whoever is organizing and nominate one or two then do a clicky poll?
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  • I finally just got caught up. I would like to join too please.

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  • My vote would be for a secret/private group.
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    Tobin Chase, born April 20, 2014
  • Alright, @gertiebarden‌. The people have spoken. Do your thang, girl.
  • I'd be down with a private group.
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  • I also vote for private
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  • I'm interested if private. I have been in groups that started as closed and once the original mass of people were added then it was changed to private. I'd say don't post the name/link but PM to those interested so you know those requesting are really those you invited then after a day or so change it to private and then we can deal with those who want in after. I'm part of a FB group that's a spin off of a nest board, I can get what our rules are to remain a member to prevent creepy lurkers.

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  • typeset said:
    In any case, I have no desire to broadcast to my general FB membership that I'm pregnant ...  


    You don't want people to know you put out?
    Exactly!  Sex is dirty!  Especially since I'm friends with MIL on FB.  I mean can you imagine if she knew DH and I had had the secks? 
    Haha she might ask you what position you were in to conceive like mine did. ;)
    ::shudder::
    Oo! My MIL told me that guys like a lady on the streets but a freak in the sheets.
    DH is from India and his mother speaks very little English. Thank God she can't ask me questions like this. I would die.
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  • I WISH mine gave me flannel pjs for Christmas... Instead I got a pair of Maternity jeans that were 2 sizes too big. Everyone wanted me to go try them on and I just wanted to cry. Oh wait, I did.
  • OK, it sounds like the majority of peeps would like a private group.  So far, I'm the one starting the group page on FB, so would be one of the admins.  I would love if one or two other ladies join me as admins, especially since I'll be birthing these two little hellions in the next 3-4 weeks and will probably be MIA for a while after.  So if @gertiebarden and @pistolpackinmomma would like to jump in, since it sounds like you've had either previous experience and/or good ideas for admission, that would be awesome.  Any of you other ladies are welcome to volunteer as well. :)
    Introducing the Rowselettes, Archer and Xander.
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    Want to know more about me?  Check out my blog. :)
  • kshampeny said:
    OK, it sounds like the majority of peeps would like a private group.  So far, I'm the one starting the group page on FB, so would be one of the admins.  I would love if one or two other ladies join me as admins, especially since I'll be birthing these two little hellions in the next 3-4 weeks and will probably be MIA for a while after.  So if @gertiebarden and @pistolpackinmomma would like to jump in, since it sounds like you've had either previous experience and/or good ideas for admission, that would be awesome.  Any of you other ladies are welcome to volunteer as well. :)
    kshampeny. So, what's the final decision on how we should request access to the Fb link. PM you (and/or other mods)? And if so, what info do we need to provide in the PM?
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  • XathXath member
    edited March 2014

    Totally off topic but I'm curious...

    How does this even work functionally in the modern world, where we correspond with HR at our places of employment, schools for our children and doctors via email? Are you okay with your medical, employment and children's school information being published or do you just refuse to discuss certain matters via email.

     


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    Trapped in the quote box.

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    I guess I'm just not a terribly private person. Haven't had to deal with the school issue for my kids yet, and I'm lucky enough that there's nothing in my medical history I'd be concerned about having to explain. I guess my internet philosophy is just an extension of my personal philosophy. I try not to do/say things in general that I'd be upset if everyone knew about.

    I'm not saying I'd be happy if someone invaded my perceived veil of internet privacy, I just don't subscribe to the idea that internet privacy is anything more than a polite illusion.

    Lilypie - Personal picture Lilypie - Personal picture Lilypie - Personal picture 
     DS1 - 7/2011, DD 12/2012, DS2 - 4/2014, MMC - 12/2015
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  • XathXath member
    @kshampeny‌ I'd be glad to help out if you need it. I didn't volunteer before because I typically don't have internet time during the work day, so my participation window will be a bit more limited. Just let me know what you need.
    Lilypie - Personal picture Lilypie - Personal picture Lilypie - Personal picture 
     DS1 - 7/2011, DD 12/2012, DS2 - 4/2014, MMC - 12/2015
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  • I'd be willing to help out as well. PMing on here will be sporadic for me during daytime hours (chasing a toddler is time consuming at times) but fb is easy for me to be active on.

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  • Interesting,

    I am glad that this has come around again.  It was a bummer that I missed the boat on the first group, which went uber-exclusive and then I got to watch and read the train wreck that was the second attempt at a group.

    I would love it to be private...but I love that we could do this.  FB is just more user friendly for me when I am not at work or parked on the couch.
  • kshampeny said:

    OK, it sounds like the majority of peeps would like a private group.  So far, I'm the one starting the group page on FB, so would be one of the admins.  I would love if one or two other ladies join me as admins, especially since I'll be birthing these two little hellions in the next 3-4 weeks and will probably be MIA for a while after.  So if @gertiebarden and @pistolpackinmomma would like to jump in, since it sounds like you've had either previous experience and/or good ideas for admission, that would be awesome.  Any of you other ladies are welcome to volunteer as well. :)

    Woahhh, can we vote on this? Or at least nominate?
  • @yayglitter Feel free to nominate away.  And people can vote if they want as well.  The people I mentioned are the only ones who've said they would help out when I asked.  Doesn't matter to me one way or the other if I'm an admin.  I'm just setting up the page and it automatically makes me one, but I can remove myself at any time. 
    Introducing the Rowselettes, Archer and Xander.
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    Want to know more about me?  Check out my blog. :)
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