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kat8805 · March 2014

I'll jump in either way. You all know I have no life.

RachelCA29 · March 2014

I think @gertiebarden‌ has a really great plan laid out. Private would be nice to control overall members/entry, but it does sound like a lot of work for admins to sort out at first. If it started as closed and could be switched to private, would that be a fair compromise for those wanting it to be private, to balance the membership approvals for the admins?

AnnieA75 · March 2014

I think I'd prefer private, but I'll join either way.

RedInLove · March 2014

If so much information is being asked for, how can you say closed is less work than secret? I think the standard should be the standard regardless. You're all about to put your personal names and pictures into the hands of each other. I would not join any group that wasn't handling my privacy as a top priority. Secret group, or don't bother.

lauralou3x3 · March 2014

Count me in! I am mobile generally so notifications on here for me are pointless unless I get my lazy ass up and get on the computer.

AugustGlass · March 2014

gertiebarden said:
Possible joining rules suggestion:

Post a new thread on M14 with a link to the FB group. Have people submit their join request along with a TB PM to the admin in the following format:
- Facebook name
- Join Date/timeframe
- Post Count
- when they actively joined M14
- (optional screenshot of their bump profile as "proof" and to see how many flags they have on file)

This puts the onus of work on the individuals and not the admins. If anyone is caught lying, you have an easy indication of crazy right there. The admins just need to decide what the activity/join date threshold needs to be and match the PMs to the join requests.

Personally I'm inclined to keep the joining criteria low (a month of active posting on M14, a total of 100 posts overall?). I'd hate to lose out on an awesome potential member who could contribute actively to a FB group even if they don't have as regular access to TB.

I've found with most FB groups that there's usually a huge influx of members at the outset, but the community usually establishes itself pretty quickly and the crazies are outed and things settle from there.

My income taxes were simpler than this.

Xath · March 2014

RedInLove said:
If so much information is being asked for, how can you say closed is less work than secret? I think the standard should be the standard regardless. You're all about to put your personal names and pictures into the hands of each other. I would not join any group that wasn't handling my privacy as a top priority. Secret group, or don't bother.

I think the difference is at least initially that a closed group places most of the onus of work on the people who are requesting membership, whereas a private group requires the admins to do the bulk of the work.

There is no difference in the content viewability for non members in a closed vs a private group. The difference is that someone could search for "name of group" and could see that the group exists if it's Closed. You can't see who any of the members are unless you are already FB friends with those particular members.

As for people having access to your real name and photos; perhaps it comes from having a tech background, but a forum name does not provide the level of anonymity that people assume. If someone really wants to find out who anyone is on here, it's not that hard. And for your photos, that's entirely dependent on how lax your FB privacy settings are. The group privacy setting for a FB group has no baring on how much of your information/content someone can see. Lock down your privacy settings and it doesn't matter. The only things that are public are your FB name and profile picture.

The difference in the group privacy settings really only has to do with how people request membership to the group. Can they ask themselves or do they need to be invited by a member/admin? Either way, permission still has to be given before they can see any group members or content. Closed is less work for the admins, but as I am not one of them, I'd just leave it to them to decide how much work they want to do.

Honestly, in terms of privacy, my personal philosophy is as follows: Never post anything anywhere on the internet (including email) that you would be concerned about being published in the Washington Post. Change your passwords and clear your cookies/caches regularly. Every few months, log out of all of your accounts and run internet searches on yourself to see what the average person can find out about you. Rinse and repeat.

kat8805 · March 2014

^^ my mom Googled herself once. The hilarity of that day was epic.

danabsd · March 2014

gertiebarden said:

Post a new thread on M14 with a link to the FB group.

If you post a thread to an FB group out in the open everyone can the members and subsequently see everyones private information. How is that any different than the NEW! BETTER! BEST! FB Group @whatsherface started and posted other bumpies info here.

RedInLove · March 2014

gertiebarden said:

RedInLove said:
If so much information is being asked for, how can you say closed is less work than secret? I think the standard should be the standard regardless. You're all about to put your personal names and pictures into the hands of each other. I would not join any group that wasn't handling my privacy as a top priority. Secret group, or don't bother.
I think the difference is at least initially that a closed group places most of the onus of work on the people who are requesting membership, whereas a private group requires the admins to do the bulk of the work.

There is no difference in the content viewability for non members in a closed vs a private group. The difference is that someone could search for "name of group" and could see that the group exists if it's Closed. You can't see who any of the members are unless you are already FB friends with those particular members.

As for people having access to your real name and photos; perhaps it comes from having a tech background, but a forum name does not provide the level of anonymity that people assume. If someone really wants to find out who anyone is on here, it's not that hard. And for your photos, that's entirely dependent on how lax your FB privacy settings are. The group privacy setting for a FB group has no baring on how much of your information/content someone can see. Lock down your privacy settings and it doesn't matter. The only things that are public are your FB name and profile picture.

The difference in the group privacy settings really only has to do with how people request membership to the group. Can they ask themselves or do they need to be invited by a member/admin? Either way, permission still has to be given before they can see any group members or content. Closed is less work for the admins, but as I am not one of them, I'd just leave it to them to decide how much work they want to do.

Honestly, in terms of privacy, my personal philosophy is as follows: Never post anything anywhere on the internet (including email) that you would be concerned about being published in the Washington Post. Change your passwords and clear your cookies/caches regularly. Every few months, log out of all of your accounts and run internet searches on yourself to see what the average person can find out about you. Rinse and repeat.

Due diligence is required by the admins either way. Onus and honesty aren't interchangeable. If the admin is taking everyone's word on it, then it's not a controlled environment, which means it's not safe for privacy. This essentially creates a free for all, or a situation like @kivakira created where really anyone can join. This is not good enough. NOBODY should join a group that is not being properly vetted. You might as well make it fully public and open if you're going to take everyone's word that they should be given access to my private information.

Helmink0804 · March 2014

I vote for a private one, but I'll be in either way!

theoryofwhat · March 2014

I definitely think that the mods on the FB group should be well-known, trusted members on this BMB. Perhaps PM whoever is organizing and nominate one or two then do a clicky poll?

Unknown · March 2014

This content has been removed.

getitdone · March 2014

I finally just got caught up. I would like to join too please.

megmegs · March 2014

My vote would be for a secret/private group.

Christinaruth74 · March 2014

Alright, @gertiebarden‌. The people have spoken. Do your thang, girl.

Luckyu317 · March 2014

Maybe @Kivakira‌ could come back and explain her logic to us in how she created the oh so welcoming 2nd fb group?

firebelle26 · March 2014

I'd be down with a private group.

typeset · March 2014

gertiebarden said:
I think the difference is at least initially that a closed group places most of the onus of work on the people who are requesting membership, whereas a private group requires the admins to do the bulk of the work. There is no difference in the content viewability for non members in a closed vs a private group. The difference is that someone could search for "name of group" and could see that the group exists if it's Closed. You can't see who any of the members are unless you are already FB friends with those particular members. As for people having access to your real name and photos; perhaps it comes from having a tech background, but a forum name does not provide the level of anonymity that people assume. If someone really wants to find out who anyone is on here, it's not that hard. And for your photos, that's entirely dependent on how lax your FB privacy settings are. The group privacy setting for a FB group has no baring on how much of your information/content someone can see. Lock down your privacy settings and it doesn't matter. The only things that are public are your FB name and profile picture. The difference in the group privacy settings really only has to do with how people request membership to the group. Can they ask themselves or do they need to be invited by a member/admin? Either way, permission still has to be given before they can see any group members or content. Closed is less work for the admins, but as I am not one of them, I'd just leave it to them to decide how much work they want to do. Honestly, in terms of privacy, my personal philosophy is as follows: Never post anything anywhere on the internet (including email) that you would be concerned about being published in the Washington Post. Change your passwords and clear your cookies/caches regularly. Every few months, log out of all of your accounts and run internet searches on yourself to see what the average person can find out about you. Rinse and repeat.

tl;dr, although I skimmed the first line and giggled at "onus."

JACKIE_RS88 · March 2014

I also vote for private

typeset · March 2014

kitchencolors said:
In any case, I have no desire to broadcast to my general FB membership that I'm pregnant ...

You don't want people to know you put out?

pistolpackinmomma · March 2014

I'm interested if private. I have been in groups that started as closed and once the original mass of people were added then it was changed to private. I'd say don't post the name/link but PM to those interested so you know those requesting are really those you invited then after a day or so change it to private and then we can deal with those who want in after. I'm part of a FB group that's a spin off of a nest board, I can get what our rules are to remain a member to prevent creepy lurkers.

pistolpackinmomma · March 2014

kitchencolors said:

typeset said:

kitchencolors said:
In any case, I have no desire to broadcast to my general FB membership that I'm pregnant ...

You don't want people to know you put out?

Exactly! Sex is dirty! Especially since I'm friends with MIL on FB. I mean can you imagine if she knew DH and I had had the secks?

Haha she might ask you what position you were in to conceive like mine did.

Christinaruth74 · March 2014

kitchencolors said:

pistolpackinmomma said:

kitchencolors said:

typeset said:

kitchencolors said:
In any case, I have no desire to broadcast to my general FB membership that I'm pregnant ...

You don't want people to know you put out?

Exactly! Sex is dirty! Especially since I'm friends with MIL on FB. I mean can you imagine if she knew DH and I had had the secks?

Haha she might ask you what position you were in to conceive like mine did.

::shudder::

Oo! My MIL told me that guys like a lady on the streets but a freak in the sheets.

AnnieA75 · March 2014

Christinaruth74 said:

pistolpackinmomma said:

typeset said:

kitchencolors said:
In any case, I have no desire to broadcast to my general FB membership that I'm pregnant ...

You don't want people to know you put out?

Exactly! Sex is dirty! Especially since I'm friends with MIL on FB. I mean can you imagine if she knew DH and I had had the secks?
Haha she might ask you what position you were in to conceive like mine did.

::shudder::
Oo! My MIL told me that guys like a lady on the streets but a freak in the sheets.

DH is from India and his mother speaks very little English. Thank God she can't ask me questions like this. I would die.

pistolpackinmomma · March 2014

Christinaruth74 said:

kitchencolors said:

pistolpackinmomma said:

kitchencolors said:

typeset said:

kitchencolors said:
In any case, I have no desire to broadcast to my general FB membership that I'm pregnant ...

You don't want people to know you put out?

Exactly! Sex is dirty! Especially since I'm friends with MIL on FB. I mean can you imagine if she knew DH and I had had the secks?
Haha she might ask you what position you were in to conceive like mine did.

::shudder::

Oo! My MIL told me that guys like a lady on the streets but a freak in the sheets.

Haha! Mine told me when pregnant with DS that I would need to learn to be quieter now that we were having kids. DH still lived with his parents when we started dating. Oops.

pistolpackinmomma · March 2014

AnnieA75 said:

Christinaruth74 said:

kitchencolors said:

pistolpackinmomma said:

kitchencolors said:

typeset said:

kitchencolors said:
In any case, I have no desire to broadcast to my general FB membership that I'm pregnant ...

You don't want people to know you put out?

Exactly! Sex is dirty! Especially since I'm friends with MIL on FB. I mean can you imagine if she knew DH and I had had the secks?
Haha she might ask you what position you were in to conceive like mine did.

::shudder::

Oo! My MIL told me that guys like a lady on the streets but a freak in the sheets.

DH is from India and his mother speaks very little English. Thank God she can't ask me questions like this. I would die.

Some days I wish my MIL spoke very little English. I could probably stand her for longer periods of time.

danabsd · March 2014

RE: MIL + Sex

Mine gives me flannel Jammie's for Christmas every year. I am not sure she knows where babies come from or just doesn't want anymore.

Christinaruth74 · March 2014

I WISH mine gave me flannel pjs for Christmas... Instead I got a pair of Maternity jeans that were 2 sizes too big. Everyone wanted me to go try them on and I just wanted to cry. Oh wait, I did.

kshampeny · March 2014

OK, it sounds like the majority of peeps would like a private group. So far, I'm the one starting the group page on FB, so would be one of the admins. I would love if one or two other ladies join me as admins, especially since I'll be birthing these two little hellions in the next 3-4 weeks and will probably be MIA for a while after. So if @gertiebarden and @pistolpackinmomma would like to jump in, since it sounds like you've had either previous experience and/or good ideas for admission, that would be awesome. Any of you other ladies are welcome to volunteer as well.

keeumm · March 2014

Thanks for offering to take charge on this, @kshampeny !

AnnieA75 · March 2014

kshampeny said:

OK, it sounds like the majority of peeps would like a private group. So far, I'm the one starting the group page on FB, so would be one of the admins. I would love if one or two other ladies join me as admins, especially since I'll be birthing these two little hellions in the next 3-4 weeks and will probably be MIA for a while after. So if @gertiebarden and @pistolpackinmomma would like to jump in, since it sounds like you've had either previous experience and/or good ideas for admission, that would be awesome. Any of you other ladies are welcome to volunteer as well.

kshampeny. So, what's the final decision on how we should request access to the Fb link. PM you (and/or other mods)? And if so, what info do we need to provide in the PM?

Xath · March 2014

kitchencolors said:
Totally off topic but I'm curious...

How does this even work functionally in the modern world, where we correspond with HR at our places of employment, schools for our children and doctors via email? Are you okay with your medical, employment and children's school information being published or do you just refuse to discuss certain matters via email.

----

Trapped in the quote box.

-----
I guess I'm just not a terribly private person. Haven't had to deal with the school issue for my kids yet, and I'm lucky enough that there's nothing in my medical history I'd be concerned about having to explain. I guess my internet philosophy is just an extension of my personal philosophy. I try not to do/say things in general that I'd be upset if everyone knew about.

I'm not saying I'd be happy if someone invaded my perceived veil of internet privacy, I just don't subscribe to the idea that internet privacy is anything more than a polite illusion.

Xath · March 2014

@kshampeny‌ I'd be glad to help out if you need it. I didn't volunteer before because I typically don't have internet time during the work day, so my participation window will be a bit more limited. Just let me know what you need.

kat8805 · March 2014

On internet privacy, privacy in general - fuck it all. If someone is really determinded to find something out about you, they'll find it no matter what you do. We have no money, poor credit, and lots of debt, so if anyone gets financial info, I hope they feel sorry enough to leave it be, or pitch in.

Regarding the secks - you all know I'm open minded there... Welp, I "get it from mah momma" and I'm thrilled she can't use FB all that well cause I just don't wanna know about her secksin.

pistolpackinmomma · March 2014

I'd be willing to help out as well. PMing on here will be sporadic for me during daytime hours (chasing a toddler is time consuming at times) but fb is easy for me to be active on.

pistolpackinmomma · March 2014

@kshampeny‌ I sent you a PM. Also, here is what we had listed as "rules" for the spinoff group I'm a part of. The requirement of being an AW is mostly a joke though we do hassle some to AW their babes more often, but only because we care.

jjtyler · March 2014

Interesting,

I am glad that this has come around again. It was a bummer that I missed the boat on the first group, which went uber-exclusive and then I got to watch and read the train wreck that was the second attempt at a group.

I would love it to be private...but I love that we could do this. FB is just more user friendly for me when I am not at work or parked on the couch.

theoryofwhat · March 2014

kshampeny said:
OK, it sounds like the majority of peeps would like a private group. So far, I'm the one starting the group page on FB, so would be one of the admins. I would love if one or two other ladies join me as admins, especially since I'll be birthing these two little hellions in the next 3-4 weeks and will probably be MIA for a while after. So if @gertiebarden and @pistolpackinmomma would like to jump in, since it sounds like you've had either previous experience and/or good ideas for admission, that would be awesome. Any of you other ladies are welcome to volunteer as well.

Woahhh, can we vote on this? Or at least nominate?

kshampeny · March 2014

@yayglitter Feel free to nominate away. And people can vote if they want as well. The people I mentioned are the only ones who've said they would help out when I asked. Doesn't matter to me one way or the other if I'm an admin. I'm just setting up the page and it automatically makes me one, but I can remove myself at any time.

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