Letting your baby CIO without letting them ?

Re: Letting your baby CIO without letting them ?

• Zimger member

  February 2014

  Angie2510

  No one is saying that everyone is exactly alike. They are saying that CIO is harmful to young infants because they can not self soothe and they are learning how to trust. The only way they can build trust so young is to learn that someone is there for them when they have a need. It's basic child development.

  If someone is feeling stressed to the point that they feel they can't properly handle their child crying then they should take a break. It's better to walk away and give yourself a moment. However, that is not CIO. CIO is a training method and it should not be used for young infants.

  

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• gina0485 member

  February 2014

  Damnnn some of you are coming out guns ablazing to flame the OP. Little extreme perhaps? The girl clarified fussing vs crying and made it clear she wouldn't let her baby cry it out after some feedback. Simmer down. We've all had FTM moments and questions.
  
  There was great advice given already on this thread. DON'T let baby cry (slight fussing is normal and ok in short periods). Reading up can be helpful but as another FTM sometimes just gives you more anxiety. Getting into a routine is great! White noise and swaddling can be your best friends. If your baby is fussing for long periods of time, look for growth spurts, hunger, gas, check temperature for illness, and call the doctor when things don't seem right. You'll be fine.
  
  

  Baby Boy #2
  Due Date 11/10/16

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• Meery82 member

  March 2014

  haygurlhay said:

  For fucks sake pick up your freaking baby when they cry! Why would you have a kid if you don't want to care for them?

  
  Is this seriously what got haygurlhay banned???

  

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• Tiffanie1014 member

  March 2014 edited March 2014

  Do what is best for you. The best advice I was given by my mother was to anticipate their needs. If you wait until they cry to feed, change, put them to sleep you may create a cry baby because they will believe crying gets results. I know my LO can only stay awake for a couple hrs at a time so when I know he is getting sleepy I put him in his crib and pat his back until his lids get very heavy but he's still awake then tip toe out the room. He usually drifts off to sleep but if not I just keep trying until he does. A few times recently I haven't even had to pat him.
  
  The only time I really let him cry (and its more of a fussing me out) is when I know nothing is wrong and i'm in the middle of something like making bottles or preparing dinner. Since I sit him in the kitchen to watch me I don't jump to pick him up, he knows i'm not neglecting him. After a few mins he will just sit and let me finish. Actually he's starting to fuss less and less. In fact I was at a play date over the weekend and all other babies were crying when their moms put them down or left the room and he was just chilling.
  
  If you are very affectionate and attentive any other time, I don't believe letting them cry or fuss for a few mins will traumatize them.

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• Tiffanie1014 member

  March 2014

  haygurlhay said:

  Carmlvsjose said:

  I actually posted this question on another thread, but meant to post here.
  
  I completely understand that CIO is inappropriate when baby is young, but what do you do when you are driving and baby is crying in the back seat? Do you pull over to soothe each time he/she cries or do you keep going? I'm especially curious about what those of you who are adamant about not letting LO cry at all have to say about this.
  
  And I'm not asking to be a smart ass....I'm genuinely interested in your point of view.

  @carmlvsjose: that is a completely different situation. In one instance (baby crying in the car) there is nothing you can do to stop the crying, you aren't just letting baby cry just to let them cry. In the other instance (CIO) you are letting baby cry to "train" them. It is intentional in that case.
  
  Do you see the difference?
  
  
  
  No that doesn't make sense to me. Baby won't see the difference. So if letting them cry a little is traumatizing wether in a car or a crib won't it have the same effects?
  

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