SEPTEMBER 2014 BMB check in!

Turner58800 · February 2014

This will be my intro I guess. This was our first pregnancy, it was a surprise, but we were very excited nevertheless. We had just went in for our first appt last wednesday (the 19th). Doctor determined a due date of early September and we scheduled an Ultrasound of the following Tuesday to determine a better due date. Everything seemed just fine, although we weren't able to hear the heartbeat, but since we were unable to determine an exact due date, the doctor said that was normal as I was prob. on the verge of being able to hear it anyway. Her guess was the beginning of 11 weeks. Since everything seemed ok, we went ahead and told our extended family Saturday evening, as well as posting on FB. Sunday I started having some spotting, which I was told could be normal, so I tried not to worry. Sunday afternoon, cramps started and right after dinner so did the heavy bleeding. We went in to the ER and the doctor confirmed I was having a MC. We were waiting for the bleeding to slow down, and I passed out, due to blood loss and had to be put on oxygen. They did a cat scan to determine there was no other abdominal bleeding, kept me overnight for observation. Monday morning they did an ultrasound to determine I did not need a D and C. The hardest part was hearing my husband verbalize that he really wanted the child, as he before wasn't sure he was ready for the process. He was slowly getting more excited, but this was the first time he had said it out loud. He has been very scared watching me go through all of this, even to the point of suggesting adoption over trying again.

I am still processing all of this, and am trying work today. my biggest issue is people comments to my husband basically saying im not dealing with it, and I havent processed it yet. They don't know how I grieve! It puts my husband on edge bc he is waiting for this avalanche of feelings....when I tend to process things slowly, its the little unanticipated things that put me over the edge. But it doesn't mean I don't understand what happened!

The pregnancy and miscarriage are all new to us, not really sure what to expect, physically in the next few months, as well as emotionally. I am a big planner so this is extra hard.

Sorry if this post seems kind of scattered.....trying to condense all of these feelings......

My heart goes out to all of you! This is such a hard thing to deal with and process.

Maxsmommy123112 · February 2014

@smash1215 I guess you know him better than I do but that sounds really insensitive. I would probably have been pretty upset too!

@turner58800 so sorry you are here and for your ordeal. Sounds similiar to what I went through with my last MC but I ended up needing the D&C. Physically you should heal pretty quickly. It's the emotional process that usually takes some time. Everyone grieves differently. Don't worry about how people say you are "supposed" to act. There's no such thing.

As far as TTC again, give it time and reasses in the future. I think it's hard to make a decision about TTC again when everything is so fresh.

boxermamax2 · February 2014

Ha all, I am new to this board & have read all of your stories - I am so sorry for all of your losses. I had my BFP in January & had first u/s 1/31 - hb at 150 and growing right on track at 7weeks with EDD 9/15 - all looked good. This pregnancy was a surprise but DH & I were so excited. Being a FTM of AMA of 42 I had my concerns but knew in my heart that everything was going to be ok. The only symptoms I had were breast tenderness, cramps from the uterus growing & the frequent need to pee. I was very fortunate to have no m/s but a couple of weeks after that first u/s the few symptoms I had started to dissipate, I stayed positive but deep down I had a sinking feeling that something was wrong. I had all my blood work completed including verifi & on feb 25th I had a second u/s that day. I expressed my concerns to the midwife & she confirmed that there was no heartbeat & the baby had stopped growing at 7w4d. I saw the ob the next day & scheduled the d&c for the following afternoon; I was instructed to use the Cryotec 4 hrs before the procedure to get the process started.
I woke up at about 2:30 am to cramps & spotting then a couple hours later the mild cramps turned severe. Since my hubby is out of the country for work I had mom take me to the ER, the baby was passing & the ER ob was not able to pull all of the baby out so we went on as scheduled with the d&c to get the rest. Physically I'm fine but emotionally I am doing as well as expected. My family & friends have been ultra supportive & although we are apart right now DH has been my rock. We decided that we do want to try again but this time we will be more prepared ahead of time instead of playing catch up with healthy lifestyle practices ie not drinking alcohol etc prior to the BFP. I don't believe that anything I/we did contributed to this loss but I want to give this next baby the best start from before conception. Thank you for letting me write my 'novel' & thank you all for sharing your stories.

graceanne927 · March 2014

Hi Everyone - I posted my intro this morning but here's my story.

I m/c'd at 4 weeks and 5 days. I had spotting and then heavy bleeding. I went in to see my dr who confirmed I was no longer pregnant. We were due on 9/27 and were beyond excited. It's been really hard. We were told to wait one cycle and then try again. So I'm currently on CD 6 and we will be on track to try again this month; I charted last time w/o taking temps. We got pregnant relatively quick w/in 2 months of trying so my dr is encouraged that we will be able to get pregnant again. I have a 2 yr old little girl and she was my 1st pregnancy, the mc was my 2nd. I am 37 so my age is definitely worrisome but w/ time not being on my side I really want to try again w/o waiting. I'm not sure how I won't be terrified of another m/c if we should get pregnant again...how do you let go of that fear? I'm glad for this group and I look forward to being a support team for each other. I wish you all well and one day closer to your rainbow baby(ies)!

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