negative energy from family

BPNJ16 · March 2014

not sure if anyone has experienced anything like this. i announced to my whole family last week that we are expecting, and everyone was so excited & happy us. one of my cousins (we are 3 months apart - so our moms were pregnant together) was not there that night, so my mom texted her. she did not text back. her mom (my aunt) texted her to see if she got my mom's text. she texted back "i don't care." my first instinct was "maybe she's suffering from infertility or having trouble trying (she has been married 8 months, so i know she has not been trying for as long as my husband of over year & a half have been trying & failing). so, ok, i understand why she'd be upset. i would just give her time.

6 days later, i went to my mom upset that she still had not reached out to me. my mom told me that her mom had let it slip that she is actually due the day after me! i got so excited that i'd have someone to share the full experience with plus, following in our mothers' footsteps, then...very angry. what could possibly be the reason that she would not be supportive of us & our blessing when she herself is experiencing the same joy? i have been crying for days. i am so hurt & confused. i have only one reason why she may be upset that we both have blessed with this miracle, and it's that she can't have the spotlight to herself. but i don't see how this is something that deserves "spotlight." it's nature. it's not like i planned my wedding the day before hers. it's not like i did this on purpose or maliciously. i wanted this. she wanted this. we both got what we wanted, her in a shorted amount of time than us, so where is this hostility & hate coming from. i feel so hurt & depressed, and i feel even more awful because my poor baby is suffering in the process. i know it's one person, but it's family, so it cuts deeper.any advice?

BPNJ16 · March 2014

you don't think me being worked up, crying & stressing is affecting my baby? i heard that stress & anxiety weigh heavily on the baby - they feel everything you feel. maybe my doctor is a liar when she told me i need to try to keep my depression & anxiety at bay over the next 7 months, because it could result in a miscarriage. so maybe she is wrong & over dramatic. i know nothing of pregnancy as this is my first & i trust my doctor's advice. so if she says i need to calm down for the sake of my child, i trust her.

HopeNotLost · March 2014

Um yeah EXTREME anxiety and stress affects the baby. This "stress" and "anxiety" is you being overdramatic. You can't make everyone be happy for you. Get over it and move on. You have bigger things to worry about that your cousin not being happy.

BPNJ16 · March 2014

ok then let me clarify for people: my cousin has been talking about having a baby since we were kids. it's a been a goal of hers forever. she's been talking about having kids nonstop since she met her now husband. it's all she talks about - getting married, having kids - it's all she ever talked about in our 20s. so YES, she is excited about being pregnant. she wanted this. it's all she ever wanted. so, i guess i am not going to find any help on here along the lines of other people who have had close family members not say a damn word to them in response to there news. i guess if a close family member was acting like your news is not good news, everyone would be ok with that. i get it. my feelings about how sh is making feel are unjustfied. thanks for the advice.

momthatlifts · March 2014

You need to relax a little. I think you're seriously overreacting. I'm really sorry you feel like she isn't excited for you but you're making a really big deal out of something so little

HopeNotLost · March 2014

KBowenAshwin said:

ok then let me clarify for people: my cousin has been talking about having a baby since we were kids. it's a been a goal of hers forever. she's been talking about having kids nonstop since she met her now husband. it's all she talks about - getting married, having kids - it's all she ever talked about in our 20s. so YES, she is excited about being pregnant. she wanted this. it's all she ever wanted. so, i guess i am not going to find any help on here along the lines of other people who have had close family members not say a damn word to them in response to there news. i guess if a close family member was acting like your news is not good news, everyone would be ok with that. i get it. my feelings about how sh is making feel are unjustfied. thanks for the advice.

I had a friend who married my cousin and I found out a month after her I was expecting. She threw a hissy fit because she thought I did it on purpose to steal her thunder. I told her to get over it, and if she couldn't be an adult about it, then she didn't need to be a part of my life. That's how I handled it. I suggest you do the same. Or at least ignore her behavior for awhile. Maybe she is fighting her own battle right now. Maybe she has a threatened miscarriage. Maybe she has bad m/s. You have no idea what people are going through, so give her a break. You can't make people behave they way you want them to. Sorry she isn't excited for you, but seriously, her not being excited does not make your news any less exciting to you.

chickaboo1974 · March 2014

sorry but honestly you need to chill out and realize that your pregnancy is not the focus of everyone in your family's lives- it is a lot like your wedding- a big deal to you and your spouse but not the main focus for everyone else. And I have a feeling that your cousin is sick of hearing about "how close you were since you guys are only 3 months apart" and "how great it was for your moms to be pregnant at the same time". It is not mean or selfish to not want to have someone in your family to compare pregnancies with- because I have a feeling that this sounds like it will happen.

Getting worked up over her not calling you is ridiculous.

AggieBeth06 · March 2014

No one here knows everything about your relationship with your cousin. There are infinite possibilities for her reaction.

If it were me, I would get a control over my emotions and then reach out to her. I would prepare myself for something caustic and then work through it.

Stop involving other family members. The only people who need to work through anything are you and your cousin.

NerdyLucy · March 2014

KBowenAshwin said:

you don't think me being worked up, crying & stressing is affecting my baby? i heard that stress & anxiety weigh heavily on the baby - they feel everything you feel. maybe my doctor is a liar when she told me i need to try to keep my depression & anxiety at bay over the next 7 months, because it could result in a miscarriage. so maybe she is wrong & over dramatic. i know nothing of pregnancy as this is my first & i trust my doctor's advice. so if she says i need to calm down for the sake of my child, i trust her.

But your cousin is responsible for none of this.

Be happy for yourself and focus on the good.

Stacylarae · March 2014

KBowenAshwin said:

ok then let me clarify for people: my cousin has been talking about having a baby since we were kids. it's a been a goal of hers forever. she's been talking about having kids nonstop since she met her now husband. it's all she talks about - getting married, having kids - it's all she ever talked about in our 20s. so YES, she is excited about being pregnant. she wanted this. it's all she ever wanted. so, i guess i am not going to find any help on here along the lines of other people who have had close family members not say a damn word to them in response to there news. i guess if a close family member was acting like your news is not good news, everyone would be ok with that. i get it. my feelings about how sh is making feel are unjustfied. thanks for the advice.

I have a very close cousin as well and I can understand that her reaction might be disappointing. It's hard to say what is going on with her without knowing what your relationship is like. Who knows she could be mad you announced first or like other posters have said she could be having a difficult pregnancy.

While it might hurt your feelings I think it is best to do what others have said give her some time and try not to stress about it. It sounds like you are really upset, but just try to distract yourself, and also don't get into it with the moms. From my experience talking through my mom and aunt can cause a lot more problems than just reaching out to your cousin would.

rlyttle · March 2014

Why don't you call her and talk to her? She is also hormonal and probably feeling sick and pregnant. Yeah she didn't have the best reaction, but she probably feels like you kind of stole her thunder. I know it's petty, but just call her & talk to her. Or maybe send her flowers, chocolates, or something if you don't feel comfortable calling.

greeneyed_bride · March 2014

Maybe she's hurt that she had to hear second-hand from your mom instead of directly from you. You're so busy focusing on why she isn't calling you, but why don't you call her? Why is it automatically her job to reach out to you and make a gigantic freaking deal about your pregnancy when you A - didn't even bother to tell her yourself, and B - also haven't bothered to call and make a gigantic freaking deal out of her pregnancy?? Honestly, I think you're acting self-centered right now. Instead of thinking that everyone else should make a big fuss over you, try focusing on someone else.

And sweet Moses, stop with the "my anxiety is hurting my baby" nonsense. No, your baby does not "feel everything you feel." Yes, if you were in a constant state of major psychological distress for your entire pregnancy, that could be detrimental. But your cousin doesn't call you and you think that's somehow going to damage your child? You need to calm down and find something more productive to focus on.

yvanehtnioj · March 2014

Something about the OP's posts make me think she is one of those people who uses the word "literally" all the time.

12bailey18 · March 2014

Maybe she's having a tough first trimester? Maybe she was busy and really just didn't care in that moment? You have no idea until maybe you call her and talk to her? And shame on whoever showed you the text. Why do I feel like this family might like drama....

apboeglin · March 2014

I understand how you are feeling. My SIL is not happy my husband and I are having a baby. She is due almost 3 months before I am. When we told her about our baby she told us she never wanted to see or hear from us again and that we are not welcome around her child. I gotta tell you I was upset and hurt for a couple days. I am having a really hard time with my emotions as of late. However, I was able to vent my feelings to some close girlfriends and since then I feel tons better. I don't know how your relationship is with your cousin but if she can't be happy for you then you might have to just move on. Unfortunately we can't control how others feel but we can control how we feel and react to situations. Try giving her some time. This is a very emotional time for you both and you are feeling EVERYTHING 100% stronger than normal (if your pregnancy is anything like mine). Maybe someday you can be close again but right now it seems like she just needs to get through her own feelings.

allgood921 · March 2014

I'll say this, I myself am not a "AHHHH!!! OMG YOU'RE PREGNANT!! YAYYYY!!!" person. Not. At. All. So if your cousin had a "ah ok that's cool" reaction, don't take it personally, it might just be how she deals with that type of news. As far as her "I don't care" response, do you know if her and her mother were in a feud or argument, and maybe your cousin thought that was her mother's way of 'sweeping it under the rug'?Or, as PP's have acknowledged, maybe she's going through some troubles of her own and was just being sassy to her mom.

My question is, why are you coming here to see what's wrong with your cousin and why she's acting in such a way? Why not ask her yourself? You are both adults, and are both mothers to be, wouldn't the more mature thing be to just call her up and say "Ummmm, what's going on?" Finding out the answer to that question might help lower your 'stress' as you call it.

And honey, if crying and being upset over shit was such a mega stress overload for pregnancy, I'd be doomed. Chill out and quit over exaggerating the situation

Unknown · March 2014

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PrimRoseMama · March 2014

KBowenAshwin said:
ok then let me clarify for people: my cousin has been talking about having a baby since we were kids. it's a been a goal of hers forever. she's been talking about having kids nonstop since she met her now husband. it's all she talks about - getting married, having kids - it's all she ever talked about in our 20s. so YES, she is excited about being pregnant. she wanted this. it's all she ever wanted. so, i guess i am not going to find any help on here along the lines of other people who have had close family members not say a damn word to them in response to there news. i guess if a close family member was acting like your news is not good news, everyone would be ok with that. i get it. my feelings about how sh is making feel are unjustfied. thanks for the advice.

My brother (my twin to boot) said all of two words about my pregnancies & births. He was super supportive of my losses, but pregnancy & babies just don't matter to him as much. I didn't get all butthurt about it & cry to the interwebz.

She could be trying to process.
She could be feeling shitty.
She could have something wrong with her pregnancy or miscarried.

The point is that you are making her reactions/emotions all about you. Stop acting so self-centered. Others don't have to feel the same as you in order to have valid reactions.

You are getting help here. People are telling you to calm the fuck down. That's helpful.

Unknown · March 2014

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KatieG25 · March 2014

You are definitely right with your comment that you need to try to keep calm. Stress is bad for baby. I have the same issue of getting very upset very easily, and my boyfriend always reminds me to take deep breaths and calm down for baby's sake. Additionally, don't worry about her negativity. By the sound of it, you have so much positivity around you. You have so much to be happy about, don't let her bad attitude bring you down. I know it can be hard to not get the support you hoped for from the people you care about, but focus on you and your reasons to be excited. For me, almost all of my family is not supporting me. They think I am too young and that my boyfriend will not be a good farther, although they have never even met him (their choice). I have a few supportive relatives, but the rest have been surprisingly hostile. I had such negativity coming from some of my cousins that I didn't know what to do. I too cried all the time because of their refusal to accept me, my boyfriend, and our baby. But as I mentioned, my boyfriend reminded me that we do have other support through other friends and family, and most importantly each other. Finally, if you really want to patch things up with your cousin, don't sit around and wait for her to reach out to you. Try reaching out to her. Explain why you were so excited when you heard of her good news coming at the same time as yours. Hopefully she will come around. When I received the negative energy from my family, I talked to one of my cousins about the situation, and we worked it out. Try doing the same with yours. Talk to her about how great this is for both of you, and see if she'll realize how exciting it really is. Good luck! And congrats!!(:

PrimRoseMama · March 2014

KatieG25 said:
You are definitely right with your comment that you need to try to keep calm. Stress is bad for baby. I have the same issue of getting very upset very easily, and my boyfriend always reminds me to take deep breaths and calm down

For the love of God, stress doesn't harm baby. Not this type of petty drama stress. I wish people would stop it with this crap. [-(

It sucks that there are unsupportive people in OP's & your life @KatieG25‌ , but stress is sucky for mom-- but basically not terribly bad for baby.

The "stress" that doctors tell you to avoid is serious shit like war, famine, extreme sickness etc. family drama won't harm your fetus.

KatieG25 · March 2014

Sorry, @PrimRoseMama. I didn't mean to offend you with what I've been told. I'm merely passing along the things I have heard and read. My mistake.

PrimRoseMama · March 2014

KatieG25 said:
Sorry, @PrimRoseMama. I didn't mean to offend you with what I've been told. I'm merely passing along the things I have heard and read. My mistake.

You're good, really. I didn't mean to go all hulk-smash on you. It's one of those misconceptions that can weight heavily on anyone who has miscarried before. That's mainly why I don't like it. It places blame on the mother for "stressing out" & "harming her baby".

I'm not saying that working towards emotional wellness on the regular is a bad thing. No one wants to be an anxious mess all the time. Over all health is improved by learning coping techniques for anxiety. However, stress like this blows, but usually just for mom.

It's common to hear it. Many people believe it. So, it's not just you. Wishing you the best.

KatieG25 · March 2014

Thanks, and it's all good. I understand where you're coming from. When I miscarried, I couldn't help but feel like it was my fault, even with assurance that it wasn't. So as I said, I see where you're coming from. I wasn't aware that the stress thing was a misconception.

PrimRoseMama · March 2014

KatieG25 said:
Thanks, and it's all good. I understand where you're coming from. When I miscarried, I couldn't help but feel like it was my fault, even with assurance that it wasn't. So as I said, I see where you're coming from. I wasn't aware that the stress thing was a misconception.

:-bd we can hug it out

MaybeKatie10 · March 2014

I was so darn sick during my first trimester that if my baby had shot a telegram out of my vagina annoucing that she was also pregnant via some freakish miracle, my response would have been, "I don't fucking care."

najb · March 2014

I had a similar experience, except i was the 'cousin'. I was expecting and right at the mark of finishing my first trimester, and I miscarried. My cousin had called the week before saying she was expecting and I was so excited as we were close and our babies would only be a few months apart. Then I had the miscarriage and instead of announcing our pregnancy(as we'd decided to wait) i had to tell my parents and inlaws that we miscarried. I haven't told any of my extended family however. When I had the miscarriage though, I definitely found myself feeling sorry for myself and comparing what my cousin was going through with what I could have been going through. My sister in law also had a baby two weeks after my miscarriage. I found it hard to interact with them just because I would get emotional and couldn't keep myself together. We never know what others are going through. And I wasn't mad at them because there was no reason to be. It was just extremely hard. Congrats on your pregnancy! Just give your cousin time, and if she's ready to talk to you about things, she will

BPNJ16 · March 2014

for everyone on my case, i DID reach out to her. the next day. congratulated her. told her we were happy for her. told her i was excited for the opportunity to share this experience with her. it's been a month. she still has not responded to me. so, yeah, i guess the problem is clearly me. i know how react to a family members good news - with love & support. frankly, i just wish she wasn't my family. i would have rather shared this experience with someone who felt the same way. & avoiding her is going to be impossible unless i cut out my whole family. i don't want to be around her negativity towards us. you all can have your opinions, but you don't know this girl & how selfish, self-centered she is, and the "pity me" attitude she always has - even during her engagement - never happy about anything, complaining about gifts, not having a tiara - just small examples. you all take her side, & that's fine but if you had to deal with her in your family, you would hope that this one time she would realize this is nature & it happens to a lot of people & she can't expect everyone to not get pregnant while she is. it's going to be a rude awakening when she realizes this baby is not a trophy & she actually has to take care of a human life for the rest of her life. it's can't be about her anymore. i just assumed that since our mothers experienced this together, she would be excited for us to do the same. the month of silence speaks volumes that she is not looking to share this.

i am NOT upset that she's not happy for us! you people don't know how to read. i said i am upset she hasn't reached out. ignoring me isn't going to make the situation go away. i reached out to her, she has not responded in a month. i appreciate the 2-3 people who provide CONSTRUCTIVE feedback & didn't lash out at me. you people are wonderful & understand how to speak to a person like a human being to get your point across without finding a way to put them down to maybe make yourself feel like you're better. so thank you to those very few people.

PrimRoseMama · March 2014

@BPNJ16 : It sounds like you don't even *like* her. So I'm not really sure why you feel entitled to her well wishes or sharing "the experience" with her? So she isn't excited for you? Big deal. You are excited for you, the people that love you are excited for you & shouldn't that count for a lot more than this one person that you seem not to even like?

Why does it matter if she chooses to ignore this life event? Not everyone is required to acknowledge you are pregnant. That is incredibly self centered. Move on. Focus on the people that are making the effort. You are wasting valuable energy & creating drama for yourself. Stop it.

I think that everyone gave you very constructive feedback. "Constructive" does not always mean to coddle you & tell you what you want to hear. It's giving you honest feedback that can help you.

If you stop throwing a tantrum long enough & really listen to the good advice then you can really turn a negative situation into something you can grow from.

Focus on the people in your life that build you up & please don't fixate on this person. By your own admission she doesn't sound like a supportive, loving & positive influence on your life anyway.

PrimRoseMama · March 2014

@BPNJ16 : also, giving you honest feedback doesn't make feel superior. I honestly think you can benefit from my advice.

You are only in control of your feelings & actions. It's not fair to you, the positive people supporting you or your kid to dwell on the one person that is apparently not shitting enough rainbows for you.

MrsAdventure · March 2014

First of all, take a deep breath. Recognize that pregnancy brings a lot of excess emotions right to the surface, probably on both your part and your cousin. After my step-brother found out I was pregnant, he was upset. He told me "Oh yeah, great. Another thing someone else gets before me." And he was angry at me for this, and it went on like that for quite a while. I was riding in the car with him, so I got an earful. I just mostly sat in stunned silence because arguing with my brother is a lot like showering with an umbrella, not really gonna have a lot successful outcomes. At first I was extremely upset. It's not like it was my fault his life wasn't what he wanted. Nor have I ever tried to shove my happiness in his face. Now, my brother is extremely transparent. So all his emotional b.s. is out on the table, so I was able to sift through my hurt and anger and recognize that he was hurt too, I just happened to be the trigger. Unfortunately, things may not be so obvious with your cousin. I mean, maybe the last time you saw her, maybe she seemed like everything was fine, but maybe her marriage is in trouble. Maybe she thought a baby would save it. Maybe she was so focused on the idea of marriage that after she finally was married, maybe it turned out to be less ideal (let's face it, the idea of marriage is a lot more glamorous most of the time). Maybe her life just isn't what she thought. Or maybe she's just being a selfish cow about it. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. You may never know what her issue is. Either way, enjoy the fact that there is family who is as thrilled as you. Revel in that. It's going to be a long year, and your going to feel pretty awful sometimes thanks to your baby, don't let her make you feel worse.

Unknown · March 2014

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BPNJ16 · March 2014

i reached out her again after a month of not hearing anything. this is what she had to say:

she is angry i "stole her thunder" she said we should have gotten pregnant sooner or after they had their baby so she could have this for herself since this is just like getting married & every woman "deserves" the attention that comes with being pregnant with their first child. she said she hated me for "making" her have to share this with me. she said she shouldn't have been forced to share with anyone. this was HER time. after the 2nd time she told me she hated me for ruining this for her & wished that i had miscarried so she could enjoy her pregnancy with her first child with the family's full support as every woman deserves, i hung up on her.

so i guess that makes me a horrible human being. i can understand your wedding needing to be special & just about you. i didn't know the same rules applied to pregnancy. but you all told me i was wrong for being mad, so i guess you were right.

KSmithSmile8 · March 2014

Hey BPNJ. Listen. Everyone has a member of the family like this in one way or another. I just read your post about your friend with IF. I dont think your looking for these people to be happy for you. I think your looking for answers. For reasons behind their negativity. I dont think your going to find those here from these women on the message board. You have to find the answers in your cousin and friend. We dont think your a horrible person. We are just playing the other side. Unfortunately for you you were looking for someone to see it from your side. If your cousin really did say all of those things to you then you had every right to hang up on her. Also that makes you extemely justified in wondering why she didnt support you when you announced your news. It appears she wanted to do this by herself. It does not appear she will be happy for you. At least not right now. She sounds like a real you-know-what and if I were you I wouldn't want to share this experience this person. I understand its family and hard to avoid depending on how close your family is.

However you do have one thing going for you. You know EXACTLY how she feels as hard as it was to hear. You now know exactly why she did not want to reach out to you. Basically you dont need the negative opinions of anyone on this site in regards to this issue anymore. Although with how your cousin responded to your pregnancy I'll bet you wish some of the harsh things said to you on this board were the REAL reasons? I am sorry you have someone who wishes you'd miscarry in your life. I would have said a few choice words to her before I hung up on her. Good Luck.

JSS1002 · March 2014

BPNJ16 said:

i reached out her again after a month of not hearing anything. this is what she had to say:

she is angry i "stole her thunder" she said we should have gotten pregnant sooner or after they had their baby so she could have this for herself since this is just like getting married & every woman "deserves" the attention that comes with being pregnant with their first child. she said she hated me for "making" her have to share this with me. she said she shouldn't have been forced to share with anyone. this was HER time. after the 2nd time she told me she hated me for ruining this for her & wished that i had miscarried so she could enjoy her pregnancy with her first child with the family's full support as every woman deserves, i hung up on her.

so i guess that makes me a horrible human being. i can understand your wedding needing to be special & just about you. i didn't know the same rules applied to pregnancy. but you all told me i was wrong for being mad, so i guess you were right.

Well, she sounds awful. Move on. Stop crynig . Who fucking cares what somebody that nasty thinks anyway? And if your family (like, your parents and inlaws), would choose her over you, then fuck them too -- otherwise I don't know why it would be impossible to hang out with your family without her.

Meery82 · March 2014

BPNJ16 said:

i reached out her again after a month of not hearing anything. this is what she had to say:

she is angry i "stole her thunder" she said we should have gotten pregnant sooner or after they had their baby so she could have this for herself since this is just like getting married & every woman "deserves" the attention that comes with being pregnant with their first child. she said she hated me for "making" her have to share this with me. she said she shouldn't have been forced to share with anyone. this was HER time. after the 2nd time she told me she hated me for ruining this for her & wished that i had miscarried so she could enjoy her pregnancy with her first child with the family's full support as every woman deserves, i hung up on her.

so i guess that makes me a horrible human being. i can understand your wedding needing to be special & just about you. i didn't know the same rules applied to pregnancy. but you all told me i was wrong for being mad, so i guess you were right.

What the fuck. What kind of selfish, immature psychopath are you related to?! If all this is true, then cut this bitch out of your life immediately and never speak to her again.

yeah. · March 2014

Welp, she's been clear. She doesn't want to share pregnancy with her. So leave her alone and enjoy your own pregnancy.

kaimee27 · March 2014

BPNJ16 said:

for everyone on my case, i DID reach out to her. the next day. congratulated her. told her we were happy for her. told her i was excited for the opportunity to share this experience with her. it's been a month. she still has not responded to me. so, yeah, i guess the problem is clearly me. i know how react to a family members good news - with love & support. frankly, i just wish she wasn't my family. i would have rather shared this experience with someone who felt the same way. & avoiding her is going to be impossible unless i cut out my whole family. i don't want to be around her negativity towards us. you all can have your opinions, but you don't know this girl & how selfish, self-centered she is, and the "pity me" attitude she always has - even during her engagement - never happy about anything, complaining about gifts, not having a tiara - just small examples. you all take her side, & that's fine but if you had to deal with her in your family, you would hope that this one time she would realize this is nature & it happens to a lot of people & she can't expect everyone to not get pregnant while she is. it's going to be a rude awakening when she realizes this baby is not a trophy & she actually has to take care of a human life for the rest of her life. it's can't be about her anymore. i just assumed that since our mothers experienced this together, she would be excited for us to do the same. the month of silence speaks volumes that she is not looking to share this.

i am NOT upset that she's not happy for us! you people don't know how to read. i said i am upset she hasn't reached out. ignoring me isn't going to make the situation go away. i reached out to her, she has not responded in a month. i appreciate the 2-3 people who provide CONSTRUCTIVE feedback & didn't lash out at me. you people are wonderful & understand how to speak to a person like a human being to get your point across without finding a way to put them down to maybe make yourself feel like you're better. so thank you to those very few people.

Okay, first of all: QFP. Second: you initially said that you two were close and expected your cousin to be excited for you, so much so that you were extremely distraught over her lack of response/reaching out to you. If your cousin is such an awful person (and from your above post it sounds like she is), then why give a crap what she thinks? It sounds like the rest of your family is being excited for and supportive of you. Focus on that and on your new baby. Some people are just jerks, every family has them. Don't let the one in yours spoil this exciting time.

PrimRoseMama · March 2014

RedFirePhoenix25 said:

BPNJ16 said:

i reached out her again after a month of not hearing anything. this is what she had to say:

she is angry i
"stole her thunder" she said we should have gotten pregnant sooner or after they had their baby so she could have this for herself since this is just like getting married & every woman "deserves" the attention that comes with being pregnant with their first child. she said she hated me for "making" her have to share this with me. she said she shouldn't have been forced to share with anyone. this was HER time. after the 2nd time she told me she hated me for ruining this for her & wished that i had miscarried so she could enjoy her pregnancy with her first child with the family's full support as every woman deserves, i hung up on her.

so i guess that makes me a horrible human being. i can understand your wedding needing to be special & just about you. i didn't know the same rules applied to pregnancy. but you all told me i was wrong for being mad, so i guess you were right.

OK, I haven't been around long, but I'm having a moment of confusion. I lurk around the 2nd tri boards (I'm in my second tri, I promise!) and saw your other post, which I checked out because I have a friend as well that was trying to get pregnant and not having any success.

These are the exact same words almost that you said your friend who was IF used in her text. I'm not being mean, seriously, it's just odd. Are they friends?

Something seems "off".

/:)

awc1986 · March 2014

OP, sounds like being a precious little diva runs in your family.

LucilleAustero · March 2014

BPNJ16 said:

i reached out her again after a month of not hearing anything. this is what she had to say:

she is angry i "stole her thunder" she said we should have gotten pregnant sooner or after they had their baby so she could have this for herself since this is just like getting married & every woman "deserves" the attention that comes with being pregnant with their first child. she said she hated me for "making" her have to share this with me. she said she shouldn't have been forced to share with anyone. this was HER time. after the 2nd time she told me she hated me for ruining this for her & wished that i had miscarried so she could enjoy her pregnancy with her first child with the family's full support as every woman deserves, i hung up on her.

so i guess that makes me a horrible human being. i can understand your wedding needing to be special & just about you. i didn't know the same rules applied to pregnancy. but you all told me i was wrong for being mad, so i guess you were right.

Again, the quotes! Sounds like your friend (from your post on 2nd Tri) and your cousin are the same person. If this isn't MUD, which I really suspect it is, I think people's reactions to your pregnancy are not matching up to your expectations for a reason.

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