Social Media + Delivery Room

Hallil · March 2014

Below is a thought provoking article on privacy during/after birth. I am on FB pretty regularly, but with DD we didn't FB announce until about 48 hours after she was born. I had changed my settings so that no one could post on my wall and tag me in photos unless I approved of it and it was the best choice we made! B was born at 1:51 PM and we only told our parents and grandparents the first night, they each had a short visit, then we told siblings and really close friends the next day, then the world the day after that. We expressed to everyone that we wanted to share with the world on our own time and everyone was respectful of that. There were some who wouldn't have been, but we just told them last out of all.

I just had a FB friend posting "going into labor" "push time" "baby is here" immediately and I don't mind what other people do but I personally found so much value in quiet time initially. It was such a life changing event it was just wonderful to have privacy and not be constantly checking my phone or messages etc. Andplusalso I'm the kind of person who can't leave my phone alone if there is so much as one new text, notification, call or email so I wouldn't have been able to ignore it if that was the case. This time around we will do similar, if not for a little while longer as the transition from family of 3 to family of 4 is pretty big and I don't want to short DD1 out any time and attention because I'm busy online.

What do you plan on doing? Have you thought about it? What did you do last time(st+m's)?

https://unexpectant.com/social-media-and-the-delivery-room/

MrsT2008 · March 2014

I didn't read the article, but I posted on FB and texted a handful of people within 1-2 hours of DD being born (it took a while to stitch up my tear so once they took DD from me to be cleaned up, weighed, etc, I asked MH for my phone). It wasn't that I'd intended to announce that quickly, I just had the time, so I did.

I usually can't leave my phone alone either if I know there is something people will be commenting on, texting about, etc, but I actually had zero issues not checking it last time so I don't feel it took away from any quiet time, etc. Once I posted, they were finishing up, then it was time to move me to my post-partum room, then our parents/siblings showed up. It was probably a good few hours before I even thought to check my phone.

I doubt I'll do much different this time, at least not purposefully.

cnbean · March 2014

I think that we will probably not tell anyone that the baby is here until after we've had a chance to do skin to skin etc. With my first I didn't get to spend any time with DS until hours after he was born, thanks to an emergency c-section. I got to hold him for a minute before he was whisked away so I could be sewn up and sent to recovery. 2 years later I am still devastated that I didn't get that bonding time with him.

I am hoping so much is different about this birth, but the driving factor behind it all is the desire to have that intimate, intentional bonding time with just the 3 of us. And this time around, there probably won't be any family waiting at the hospital, so we can get away with taking as much time as we need until we announce it.

CamrynnsMommy · March 2014

^^ not me, but this post reminded me of this pic.

I won't post immediately and I know friends and family won't either until we do. I'll probably post after we are settled in post-partum. I did the same thing last time.

MrsT2008 · March 2014

TBH - I'm more concerned when actual visitors and when they'll try to show up. Last time our families were legit waiting for me in my post-partum room and I hated it. I was still so out of it (I almost fainted in the bathroom after delivery) but I felt like I couldn't tell them to leave. This time, I'm using DD has an excuse for no one to come until we tell them to - I want her to meet her sister first (and without anyone else in the room besides the 4 of us).

His(1&only)wife · March 2014

Last time we had an induction so everyone knew we were going in that morning to have him. When he arrived we waited until we were leaving recovery (an hour after delivery) and called my parents first and then DH's parents. My dad had to make a 2.5 hour drive so he got the first call. After we were in our room we notified the other people who were coming to visit, my BFFs and DHs. I think I posted a picture to FB about 3 hours after. It was once I had showered, met with the LC and we were just snuggling with DS. I don't have notifications turnedon for FB on my phone so I wasn't getting alerted to people's comments. DH was handling when people called or texted.

This time we will probably do something similar. However, we won't be allowing visitors other than DS until they have had a few hours to bond. Whoever is watching DS will bring him to the hospital when we are out of recovery and in our room. DH will meet them in the hall and bring DS1 in alone. It will be at least a couple hours before we have others stop by. This has already been established. We also won't be announcing on FB until after DS1 has met him. I feel that he should get to know first because he is beyond excited about his "new baby brother".

mileswithmyles · March 2014

I am going to call or text a few people when we go to the hospital, but I don't want anything online until we decide to post.

Normally, I'm attached to my phone, but I think I want to live in the moment for this event. We are going to ask friends and family to keep everything offline until we make an announcement.

MissLadyTay · March 2014

Last time we didn't announce his birth for a couple of weeks on Facebook. I think almost a month. Just didn't seem important. Close friends and family knew. This time we might do it sooner but I'll be in no rush.

TaylorHam86 · March 2014

I like how that article points out that those first few hours as a new family are "sacred." That's a great way to out it, I think.

Call me selfish or weird or whatever, but I don't want anyone to know for at least a few days. I will probably be induced, but we're keeping that a secret from everyone except close family. I don't want people asking me how I'm doing until I'm ready to share. My mom and DH will be in the delivery room and my dad and MIL will probably be waiting for us in recovery. I don't want any pictures online of LO unless I or DH put them there... Days later, probably. And I don't want any visitors in the hospital except immediate family.

I work in a church and my position makes me very visible to a lot of people, especially now with a growing belly. People feel like they know me well because they've watched me grow up in our church, but I can't always say the feeling is mutual. I know it's all out of love, but I don't like a lot of attention. I've learned the hard way that being pregnant brings enough of that on its own and a lot of the time it makes me very uncomfortable. There's no telling who might show up at the hospital to see me, and thinking about the possibilities gives me a lot of anxiety.

Our hospital post pics of newborns on their website, but I've opted out of that and have asked not to be listed in the hospital directory when we check in. I just really want the first few days to be calm and sacred for me, DH, and our baby. The rest of our life is going to be crazy; I'd like to at least transition as peacefully as possible.

With all that being said, I realize things may change completely once the time gets here. We'll see. But I have no problem keeping bumpie friends in the loop.

Chellbell20 · March 2014

I'm more worried about actual visitors too. DD was born at almost 2am and I had visitors (mil, sil, and auntIL) as soon as they were allowed back, so like 3:30am. I'm not doing that again. I did call my parents and they came early the next day. I called and texted people we wanted to know first and posted to fb the next morning. This time I plan to only let my parents know I'm in labor since they will get dd if needed. Otherwise when we call, text and fb the news will depend on when baby is born. But it won't be right away.

cchild101010 · March 2014

I still haven't really announced on FB that we are expecting. It went out in our Christmas so most friends and family know. I haven't told ANYONE our due date so that we don't have people bothering us around that time. I've told my parents that I don't want anyone at the hospital but now that I know my ILs won't be out until June I'll probably give my parents more information. I think I will wait until we are home to post that LO has arrived on FB.

JAM85 · March 2014

I hasn't given much thought to it...this is our first but with my niece, who is now 2+ i definitely posted picks when we got to see her about 1 hour after she was born from a scheduled c section. I am having no one but DH and my doula in the room with me for a natural birth but my ILs and SIL/BIL with their son live 20-40 minutes away and my parents will start driving down once I go into labor so there will definitely be people clamoring to get in. I would like the first hour to bond, bf, ETF before everyone descends though I don't have any specifics on what gets posted or not. I will likely be too distracted to worry about it for a bit.

mmks · March 2014

I had such a long labor last time that we told our parents and a few close friends when we were finally heading to the hospital, but then they didn't hear anything after that for like 15 hours. Our parents were flipping out not knowing what was happening (they don't live close to us). I ended up with a c/s and finally called when I was in recovery. Posted to FB the next day, I think??

Will really try to do better about keeping our parents updated this time. My in-laws will likely be the ones who bring our son in to see the baby at the hospital, but they're not on any social media, so no issues there. I'll likely post a birth announcement to FB as soon as I get around to it.

Cupcakes89 · March 2014

I will be telling my parents and DHs parents (if they are even in the state) when I go into labor.. My mom will be there throughout labor but im kicking people out of my room when I start to push so it can be just me and DH. I will probably tell FB or friends a couple hours after birth.. im just so excited about everything.. im sure I wont be able to keep it secret for long! Time will tell though.. its my first baby so I dunno how ill feel about announcing it honestly

runningyogimama · March 2014

I posted an annoumcent a few hours after she was born, after we had had our alone time as a family, the grandparents a had visited, and calls/texts to everyone important had been made. I certainly didn't post updates when we were going to the hospital or I was there...I really don't think anyone, other than the grandparents, cares that much at all or needs a play by play. And I didn't sit on my phone while in the hospital, just posted an update and that was it.

Helmink0804 · March 2014

We would probably let our parents know when we're on the way to the hospital. I promised my one Aunt that I'm close to and let her know that it's go time. I'm not sure if I'll put a It's Go Time as a FB status, hubby might once we get all settled into L & D. With posting afterwards, I want to be the first one to post it on FB and that would just depend on how I'm feeling. I won't mind if people who know we're at the hospital to deliver to wish good luck on FB or anything, but once the baby comes I want to be the first to post the official welcome to the world Brooke Elizabeth status! I will def text/call close family and friends before FBing it. I'm a FTM.

awc1986 · March 2014

We'll call the grandparents as soon as things have settled down post-partum. We'll probably text extended family a few hours later. I don't think we'll FB the news until at least the next day, if not longer. I don't want my daughter plastered all over the Internet when she's a couple of hours old.

I certainly won't be giving a running commentary.

Storrmys · March 2014

Lol when my last LO was born neither FB no the internet had been invented ... but we both will probably update after they take him to clean him up..

chillypenguin · March 2014

Last time, DD was born at 10:00 AM and I posted a quick announcement with her picture that evening. Both of our entire families were in the waiting room while I delivered which was a little stressful. By the time they got her cleaned up a little and we got our skin to skin and initial breast feeding, it was probably close to 2 hours before they could come back and I know they were restless.

This time, my mom will still be in the delivery room, but my sister will probably have DD and my in-laws live an hour and a half away. They have a policy for an hour+ of skin to skin, feeding, bonding time (which I would do anyway), so I would like to call our immediate families soon after her birth and have them come a couple hours later, depending on the time of day.

Tnpeach · March 2014

With DD1, I had a flip phone, no apps. I told mom that NO ONE was to post anything on Fb until I did. She complied, and Fb knew two days after we did that she was here.

That being said, my whole stinking family was at the hospital. Once she was born, hubby went to tell them. With the exception of MIL, everyone stayed out until I said they could come back.

With DD2, we are a bit further away. My sister is going to try to come a little early, so she can watch DD1, MIL and mom gave both said they will come out to help around the house. I don't expect a lot of other people to be there. It's a long drive. I'll have to update Fb faster than before so everyone knows about her arrival.

Mimaloo · March 2014

I'm sure I'll call/text my mom when I'm going into labor. DH can do what he will about MIL. Our hospital has strict visiting hours. Grandparents get 2-4 and everyone else is allowed 7:30-8:30 so the only people who can/will come are a few really close friends. I actually like it that way.

As for social media, I'll probably post a status but no pictures. We have agreed that we will post one of our professional newborn shots when we are ready, and that's it. We will be asking family and friends not to post any pictures either. I really just don't want my kid all over facebook.

awc1986 · March 2014

I don't think I could stand having my entire family at the hosp. I'm having DH there and that's it. My dad lives 10 mins away from the hosp, so he's on hand for when she arrives.
I'm a very private person when it comes to bodily things, so I can't think of anything worse than having everyone on tenterhooks in the next room, discussing the progress of my vagina. I'm glad most of my family live 300 miles away - especially as they're the overbearing, interfering sort!
The only people I want there are people with the right qualifications and the guy who put her in there.

pistolpackinmomma · March 2014

I had a scheduled section so our parents were at the hospital. We told them probably 45 minutes to an hour after he was born that all was well. I think DH texted that everyone was ok but he waited before going out to see them and show them pictures. We ok'd them calling family but absolutely no FB until we announced. I've come to the conclusion that my family either really respects me or really fears me because nobody posted to FB. It was later that night (12 hours or so later) that we put on FB that baby boy was here but still no name. By that time my grandmas and DH's cousin and wife had made it in to visit. We didn't post anything else until 36 hours after birth, when we decided on a name. Then we posted that we were going home.

If I get my VBAC our parents will know when we go in because one of them will need to stay with DS. They will be instructed not to tell anyone we are at the hospital. Once LO is here we will follow the same protocol, they can call family but no FB until we're ready and we will probably follow a similar timeline.

MrsT2008 · March 2014

Only our parents knew we were at the hospital and this time I don't even want to do that. My parents will have to know because they are watching DD but no one else will know. I don't want them at the ready to come to the hospital (all live with 30 minutes).

RedInLove · March 2014

We're planning on keeping things quiet as long as we can. If I tell anyone I'm in labor, it will be my sisters. We don't plan on being totally plugged in during L&D, unless it's to update anyone we feel we need to, or want to document anything for our own memories and not for immediate sharing. Any pictures/video we take during L&D would be shared at another time if we decide to.

We also want time after delivery, how ever long we want/need, before having in-room visitors. I know my Mom will camp out in the waiting room if she knows, and I don't want to deal with her being there forever or her comments if she's told she won't see LO for hours. I don't know what MIL would do, sometimes she seems to know better when it comes to social graces, and then other times I'm left speechless. We'll have the hospital withhold information, not confirm we're registered, whatever it is they can/will do. I wouldn't put it past my mom and possibly MIL to start calling the hospital if they can't get in touch with me. We're also going to dictate in advance that no information or pictures be shared on FB until we have done so. That will be the quickest way to get yourself shut out from seeing LO.

We aren't going to allow tons of pictures taken at the hospital, we'll let everyone take a picture of just LO or them holding LO, after they agree not to share it on FB. No pictures of me until I'm ready and beautified.

gutsysneakers · March 2014

We will probably announce to the social world 24-48 hours after Squish is born. With that being said, DH and I will only post one picture of LO and nothing else after that. We've talked to family and friends and they know we don't want our baby plastered all over the internet and (hopefully) will be respectful of our wishes.

Xath · March 2014

***Loss Mentioned***

We posted right away when Eleanor was born (my H posted that night). I'd gone into labor at a holiday party, so most of our friends already knew that we were there. The only person who's wanted to be at the hospital for the birth was my mom, and when Ellie was born, she was taking care of DS1 for us.

I'm really glad we posted when we did. It was a quick way to let everyone know what was going on (after we texted all of the parents/siblings), and it gave people time to celebrate with us. If we'd waited to post anything for a few days, she would have died before people knew she was here, and we wouldn't have had the brief celebration of her life that we had.

FB is one of the primary means that my (huge) family communicates. If it weren't so heavily populated with them, I don't know that I'd post as rapidly as I do.

softservecity · March 2014

Me and DH can not quite agree on this topic (or the visitors topic) but he's so far respecting my wishes. I'm having a c-section at 7:30 am and I do not want any visitors till around 1 or 2 pm. With DS #1 my whole dang family was there from the get go (and DS's dads family) and it was horrible and too much (although part of it was the stress of ending up needing an emergency c-section). He also doesn't feel comfortable telling people not to post on FB. I want us to be the first people to start sharing the news and I don't want to have to worry about how I look or if my urine bag is showing in photos. I'm not budging and I hope our families understand.

jenb_99 · March 2014

With DS I went in for Cytotec the night before my scheduled induction. I posted a pic of an obnoxious IV placement and made some kind of joke about hospital beds, but I didn't post anything else until a couple of hours after he was born late the next evening [EDITED. Looked it up on FB]. It was something to the effect of "Baby is here! 9 lb 7 oz, 22 inches. Things didn't go as planned so I'm recovering from surgery and he's going to spend a few days in NICU, but we are both doing well. Will post pics after I'm allowed to meet him. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers."

My friends and family know better than to post private things on my behalf. I don't think anyone even shared my post until late the next night after I'd gotten to see him.

ETA: I checked my FB feed from back then and it turns out DH's little sister made a post to congratulate us right after DS was born, but only a few people commented and I obviously didn't find it offensive, since I didn't even remember it. I got a lot of sweet drugs in recovery.

>-

ho11yday · March 2014

Neither I nor DH will be posting anything right away. And my SIL2 who will be watching DS will know better (because I'll ask her kindly) not to post or share with her mother (my MIL) or other sisters that she is watching DS because I'm in the hospital.

The last time my MIL found out we were pregnant, she called all of the SILs, one of which then posted everything to Facebook before I even had a chance to finish telling my immediate family. As it is, I really don't want DH having to field a ton of phone calls while I'm in labor just because his side of the family is ridiculously busy-bodied. Or having to call his sister to delete a post she made.

LoveIsAll25 · March 2014

I don't have a Facebook and neither does DH. I will tell my mother and MIL when I am in labor since they will be taking care of DS#1 while I am at the hospital. Immediate family can visit us at the hospital after DH and I bond with the baby. Everyone else can visit when we get home.

My family already know's I am an extremely private person so they won't post pictures or any other types of update's on a social network without my approval, and for that I am thankful.

fatbarbie0226 · March 2014

With Shorty, I had an emergency c-section. After she was out and I had caught a tiny glimpse of her, DH went with her to give her a bath, weighed and stuff while I was getting stitched up and in recovery. When I finally got wheeled into the room to really hold and nurse my baby for the first time, I found out that my family had already posted a picture and a video of her getting her first bath on facebook. I hadn't even held her yet! She didn't even have a name!
This time my parents will be watching Shorty at our house while we are in the hospital and I don't plan on telling them that all is well and good until after I have had my time with the little guy. And give him a name!

MissLadyTay · March 2014

fatbarbie0226 said:
With Shorty, I had an emergency c-section. After she was out and I had caught a tiny glimpse of her, DH went with her to give her a bath, weighed and stuff while I was getting stitched up and in recovery. When I finally got wheeled into the room to really hold and nurse my baby for the first time, I found out that my family had already posted a picture and a video of her getting her first bath on facebook. I hadn't even held her yet! She didn't even have a name!
This time my parents will be watching Shorty at our house while we are in the hospital and I don't plan on telling them that all is well and good until after I have had my time with the little guy. And give him a name!

I would have a hard time ever forgiving this. RAGE. Can't believe your family was so thoughtless. I had an emergency section with my son and I was upset to be the last to hold him! Can't imagine how I would have reacted to people posting him before I held him!!!

babyaotw · March 2014

I will have DH contact our immediate families once labor is established at the hospital. We will post an announcement to FB when the time feels right, which will be after healing, skin to skin, bf, and family bonding. I don't want calls/well wishes during the process. All of our family is 14 hours away, so nobody will show up at the hospital and we will want FB to notify the rest of our friends back home.

Mimaloo · March 2014

MissLadyTay said:

With Shorty, I had an emergency c-section. After she was out and I had caught a tiny glimpse of her, DH went with her to give her a bath, weighed and stuff while I was getting stitched up and in recovery. When I finally got wheeled into the room to really hold and nurse my baby for the first time, I found out that my family had already posted a picture and a video of her getting her first bath on facebook. I hadn't even held her yet! She didn't even have a name! This time my parents will be watching Shorty at our house while we are in the hospital and I don't plan on telling them that all is well and good until after I have had my time with the little guy. And give him a name!
I would have a hard time ever forgiving this. RAGE. Can't believe your family was so thoughtless. I had an emergency section with my son and I was upset to be the last to hold him! Can't imagine how I would have reacted to people posting him before I held him!!!

Yeah...Wow. I would have lost my shit.

TaylorHam86 · March 2014

Mimaloo said:

MissLadyTay said:

With Shorty, I had an emergency c-section. After she was out and I had caught a tiny glimpse of her, DH went with her to give her a bath, weighed and stuff while I was getting stitched up and in recovery. When I finally got wheeled into the room to really hold and nurse my baby for the first time, I found out that my family had already posted a picture and a video of her getting her first bath on facebook. I hadn't even held her yet! She didn't even have a name! This time my parents will be watching Shorty at our house while we are in the hospital and I don't plan on telling them that all is well and good until after I have had my time with the little guy. And give him a name!
I would have a hard time ever forgiving this. RAGE. Can't believe your family was so thoughtless. I had an emergency section with my son and I was upset to be the last to hold him! Can't imagine how I would have reacted to people posting him before I held him!!!

Yeah...Wow. I would have lost my shit.

Agreed. I don't know that I would ever get over that. Sorry that happened to you.

skyrockets · March 2014

In addition to my husband, my mom is planning to be here for the delivery and I will ask her to keep my dad and sister in the loop. Not sure when we will post to Facebook; it wouldn't bother me if someone else beat me to it.

CVislo · March 2014

For us, the birth of our second son will not be announced until I can skype or speak with my parents, in-laws, and grandparents. We are currently living in Japan which is 14 hours ahead of where our family is in the States. So if our son is born in the middle of their night, we plan on patiently waiting until we can have the listed family members "meet" him.

fatbarbie0226 · March 2014

TaylorHam86 said:

Mimaloo said:

MissLadyTay said:

fatbarbie0226 said:
With Shorty, I had an emergency c-section. After she was out and I had caught a tiny glimpse of her, DH went with her to give her a bath, weighed and stuff while I was getting stitched up and in recovery. When I finally got wheeled into the room to really hold and nurse my baby for the first time, I found out that my family had already posted a picture and a video of her getting her first bath on facebook. I hadn't even held her yet! She didn't even have a name!
This time my parents will be watching Shorty at our house while we are in the hospital and I don't plan on telling them that all is well and good until after I have had my time with the little guy. And give him a name!

I would have a hard time ever forgiving this. RAGE. Can't believe your family was so thoughtless. I had an emergency section with my son and I was upset to be the last to hold him! Can't imagine how I would have reacted to people posting him before I held him!!!

Yeah...Wow. I would have lost my shit.

Agreed. I don't know that I would ever get over that. Sorry that happened to you.

I was so out of it at the time, that it didn't really register what had happened until a day or two later. But it makes me angry when I think about it so I'm just going to make sure I'm good and ready before anyone comes to visit. They did make sure that I was the first to really hold her. Even my husband just wrapped her up after her bath and set her in the cradle until I got there to hold her. He wouldn't let my parents touch her until after I had a chance, which I really appreciated. I have a winner husband.

But that didn't stop them from taking pictures, I guess.

aweathers13 · March 2014

I'm going to have to make sure DH doesn't post anything on FB. Him, his mom and his sister are awful for that. Good thing is my SIL is due 10 days before me so she will probably be too busy with her newborn and her toddler to post anything about our babe.

I will probably call my mom on my way to the hospital--she lives in the US and I'm in the UK, and we will email or text her a pic as soon as baby is born. (She doesn't have a FB) I just don't want it on FB before she can see her first grandbaby from her only child. She was suppose to come over for baby's birth, but she's having a hard time recovering from a hip replacement and can't travel like they told her she would be able to.

I don't want any hospital visitors either...I told DH that his dad, evil step monster and their spawn need to stay away. I just don't want the two kids (11 and 10) in the room...they're both at that age where they're curious and I don't want them staring at me. His little brother is starting to creep me out! I'm so afraid they're going to come in when I've got my boob popped out or that they'll get a sight of something else they don't need to see. The maternity unit's website says that only children of the mother are allowed in the room, so hopefully that is true. I just feel like hospital time is for baby mama and dad-and older siblings.

Social Media + Delivery Room

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