Below is a thought provoking article on privacy during/after birth. I am on FB pretty regularly, but with DD we didn't FB announce until about 48 hours after she was born. I had changed my settings so that no one could post on my wall and tag me in photos unless I approved of it and it was the best choice we made! B was born at 1:51 PM and we only told our parents and grandparents the first night, they each had a short visit, then we told siblings and really close friends the next day, then the world the day after that. We expressed to everyone that we wanted to share with the world on our own time and everyone was respectful of that. There were some who wouldn't have been, but we just told them last out of all.
I just had a FB friend posting "going into labor" "push time" "baby is here" immediately and I don't mind what other people do but I personally found so much value in quiet time initially. It was such a life changing event it was just wonderful to have privacy and not be constantly checking my phone or messages etc. Andplusalso I'm the kind of person who can't leave my phone alone if there is so much as one new text, notification, call or email so I wouldn't have been able to ignore it if that was the case. This time around we will do similar, if not for a little while longer as the transition from family of 3 to family of 4 is pretty big and I don't want to short DD1 out any time and attention because I'm busy online.
What do you plan on doing? Have you thought about it? What did you do last time(st+m's)?
Re: Social Media + Delivery Room
I usually can't leave my phone alone either if I know there is something people will be commenting on, texting about, etc, but I actually had zero issues not checking it last time so I don't feel it took away from any quiet time, etc. Once I posted, they were finishing up, then it was time to move me to my post-partum room, then our parents/siblings showed up. It was probably a good few hours before I even thought to check my phone.
I doubt I'll do much different this time, at least not purposefully.
LCT - 5.15.14 ~ 9lbs, 22.5 inches
^^ not me, but this post reminded me of this pic.
I won't post immediately and I know friends and family won't either until we do. I'll probably post after we are settled in post-partum. I did the same thing last time.
LCT - 5.15.14 ~ 9lbs, 22.5 inches
Last time we had an induction so everyone knew we were going in that morning to have him. When he arrived we waited until we were leaving recovery (an hour after delivery) and called my parents first and then DH's parents. My dad had to make a 2.5 hour drive so he got the first call. After we were in our room we notified the other people who were coming to visit, my BFFs and DHs. I think I posted a picture to FB about 3 hours after. It was once I had showered, met with the LC and we were just snuggling with DS. I don't have notifications turnedon for FB on my phone so I wasn't getting alerted to people's comments. DH was handling when people called or texted.
This time we will probably do something similar. However, we won't be allowing visitors other than DS until they have had a few hours to bond. Whoever is watching DS will bring him to the hospital when we are out of recovery and in our room. DH will meet them in the hall and bring DS1 in alone. It will be at least a couple hours before we have others stop by. This has already been established. We also won't be announcing on FB until after DS1 has met him. I feel that he should get to know first because he is beyond excited about his "new baby brother".
Normally, I'm attached to my phone, but I think I want to live in the moment for this event. We are going to ask friends and family to keep everything offline until we make an announcement.
Call me selfish or weird or whatever, but I don't want anyone to know for at least a few days. I will probably be induced, but we're keeping that a secret from everyone except close family. I don't want people asking me how I'm doing until I'm ready to share. My mom and DH will be in the delivery room and my dad and MIL will probably be waiting for us in recovery. I don't want any pictures online of LO unless I or DH put them there... Days later, probably. And I don't want any visitors in the hospital except immediate family.
I work in a church and my position makes me very visible to a lot of people, especially now with a growing belly. People feel like they know me well because they've watched me grow up in our church, but I can't always say the feeling is mutual. I know it's all out of love, but I don't like a lot of attention. I've learned the hard way that being pregnant brings enough of that on its own and a lot of the time it makes me very uncomfortable. There's no telling who might show up at the hospital to see me, and thinking about the possibilities gives me a lot of anxiety.
Our hospital post pics of newborns on their website, but I've opted out of that and have asked not to be listed in the hospital directory when we check in. I just really want the first few days to be calm and sacred for me, DH, and our baby. The rest of our life is going to be crazy; I'd like to at least transition as peacefully as possible.
With all that being said, I realize things may change completely once the time gets here. We'll see. But I have no problem keeping bumpie friends in the loop.
Will really try to do better about keeping our parents updated this time. My in-laws will likely be the ones who bring our son in to see the baby at the hospital, but they're not on any social media, so no issues there. I'll likely post a birth announcement to FB as soon as I get around to it.
<img src="<a href="http://tinypic.com?ref=2s9vof8" target="_blank"><img src="http://i59.tinypic.com/2s9vof8.jpg" border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic"></a>" width="180px">
I certainly won't be giving a running commentary.
09/23/11 - Married DH
04/01/13 - BFP at 4wks
05/30/13 - MMC - BO @ 12wks 5d
08/29/13 - BFP @ 4wks 4d
09/17/13 - 7wks 2d - Normal HB Detected! Baby measuring perfect for dates and positioning!
10/23/13 - 12wks 3d - Perfect NT scan! HB 167 & baby wriggling, waving & yawning!
12/17/13 - 20wks 2 d - We're having a beautiful baby girl! Go Team Pink!
05/03/14 - Bobbie Gloria was born at 39+6 weighing 6lb 14oz!
This time, my mom will still be in the delivery room, but my sister will probably have DD and my in-laws live an hour and a half away. They have a policy for an hour+ of skin to skin, feeding, bonding time (which I would do anyway), so I would like to call our immediate families soon after her birth and have them come a couple hours later, depending on the time of day.
That being said, my whole stinking family was at the hospital. Once she was born, hubby went to tell them. With the exception of MIL, everyone stayed out until I said they could come back.
With DD2, we are a bit further away. My sister is going to try to come a little early, so she can watch DD1, MIL and mom gave both said they will come out to help around the house. I don't expect a lot of other people to be there. It's a long drive. I'll have to update Fb faster than before so everyone knows about her arrival.
I'm a very private person when it comes to bodily things, so I can't think of anything worse than having everyone on tenterhooks in the next room, discussing the progress of my vagina. I'm glad most of my family live 300 miles away - especially as they're the overbearing, interfering sort!
The only people I want there are people with the right qualifications and the guy who put her in there.
09/23/11 - Married DH
04/01/13 - BFP at 4wks
05/30/13 - MMC - BO @ 12wks 5d
08/29/13 - BFP @ 4wks 4d
09/17/13 - 7wks 2d - Normal HB Detected! Baby measuring perfect for dates and positioning!
10/23/13 - 12wks 3d - Perfect NT scan! HB 167 & baby wriggling, waving & yawning!
12/17/13 - 20wks 2 d - We're having a beautiful baby girl! Go Team Pink!
05/03/14 - Bobbie Gloria was born at 39+6 weighing 6lb 14oz!
If I get my VBAC our parents will know when we go in because one of them will need to stay with DS. They will be instructed not to tell anyone we are at the hospital. Once LO is here we will follow the same protocol, they can call family but no FB until we're ready and we will probably follow a similar timeline.
LCT - 5.15.14 ~ 9lbs, 22.5 inches
It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s that I don’t know you. Stranger Danger.
DS1 - 7/2011, DD 12/2012, DS2 - 4/2014, MMC - 12/2015
My friends and family know better than to post private things on my behalf. I don't think anyone even shared my post until late the next night after I'd gotten to see him.
ETA: I checked my FB feed from back then and it turns out DH's little sister made a post to congratulate us right after DS was born, but only a few people commented and I obviously didn't find it offensive, since I didn't even remember it. I got a lot of sweet drugs in recovery. >-
DS: 11/8/11 | 9 lb 7 oz, 22 in
DD: 5/22/14 | 9 lb 9 oz, 21.5 in
The last time my MIL found out we were pregnant, she called all of the SILs, one of which then posted everything to Facebook before I even had a chance to finish telling my immediate family. As it is, I really don't want DH having to field a ton of phone calls while I'm in labor just because his side of the family is ridiculously busy-bodied. Or having to call his sister to delete a post she made.
T 2.12 | W 5.14
This time my parents will be watching Shorty at our house while we are in the hospital and I don't plan on telling them that all is well and good until after I have had my time with the little guy. And give him a name!
I was so out of it at the time, that it didn't really register what had happened until a day or two later. But it makes me angry when I think about it so I'm just going to make sure I'm good and ready before anyone comes to visit. They did make sure that I was the first to really hold her. Even my husband just wrapped her up after her bath and set her in the cradle until I got there to hold her. He wouldn't let my parents touch her until after I had a chance, which I really appreciated. I have a winner husband. But that didn't stop them from taking pictures, I guess.