Friday 2/28 AW/SS/Random Thoughts Thread

chickpea912 · March 2014

Thrilled to announce the newest addition to our family - Baby Sister Anna.

M hasn't stopped dressing/undressing/giving her a bath/feeding her peas and carrots since we got home from Toys R Us. It's her first honest to goodness baby doll.

chickpea912 · March 2014

@Rachel5130 Yep - she birthed her right afterwards and announced - "It's a baby sister!"

We have been looking to get her a baby doll for a while now, and honestly, the options are a bit overwhelming, so when I saw Cabbage Patch babies, well, that was an easy enough direction to go

puttyeast · March 2014

We closed on our new condo yesterday so we are moving this weekend. I'm so excited to go from a 2nd floor 1 bedroom to a ground floor 2 bedroom. I have walking issues even without pregnancy/baby so I will feel a lot safer. Plus, baby will actually have a room!

lest12 · March 2014

I'm upset and don't know how rational I'm being (or not being).

I've posted about my sister and her fiance and not liking him and getting upset H was left out of the wedding party. I heard what everyone was saying, talked to H, and have totally let it go. Over it.

So, H works Saturday nights. My sister invited my mother and I over for a "Fat Tuesday" girls night. Fun.

Somehow over the course of the week, it turned into a "party" with her fiance, my father and brother all joining us.

I get that H works, but no one mentioned to me that now it would be all the guys too (everyone but H), and even if he's working, would it have killed her to say, "Hey, I know H is probably working, but the guys are all coming too, if he is around"? Like, just extend the offer. That's it.

I don't know why I'm so hurt. Oh, yes, I do. Because H and I invite my family to our house, put ourselves out, spend money, and H will cook these really nice meals for my family, so we can get everyone together, all the time, and the one time she decides to do it, H isn't even an afterthought?

I think it is mean and I don't like it. I think H would be really hurt if he found out everyone was there but him. I would feel a little burned.

I may regret asking, lol... but am I nuts?

katekat8721 · March 2014

@lest12 absolutely not! I would be hurt too. Mostly pissed, but also hurt. What is their deal? Do they have a problem and not like him or something?! Have you been able to talk to your mom and sis and see what is going on. Maybe they don't realize they're doing it and it just needs to be brought to their attention.... but it sounds like this is not the first time they've done this (the wedding thing pissed me off too!) and they need to be put in their place. He's your husband, future dad of your kids. Grr!!

lest12 · March 2014

Thanks @Rachel5130. That's the thing... he is so open and giving with them... with everything.

And I get that he works Saturday night and it's inconvenient, but all I'm asking for is a little acknowledgement, not to change everyone's plans. I literally asked my sister at 2:00 who she was cooking all this food for, and she told me that my dad "might stop by". She could have just said something then, not lied!

lest12 · March 2014

katekat8721 said:
@lest12 absolutely not! I would be hurt too. Mostly pissed, but also hurt. What is their deal? Do they have a problem and not like him or something?! Have you been able to talk to your mom and sis and see what is going on. Maybe they don't realize they're doing it and it just needs to be brought to their attention.... but it sounds like this is not the first time they've done this (the wedding thing pissed me off too!) and they need to be put in their place. He's your husband, future dad of your kids. Grr!!

Thank you!

Its kind of a long story... but I will try to sum it up. This is what I *think*. My sister and H were always super close. Then she started dating her F. For the first 3 years of them dating, fiance was kind of an ass to her. Like, would never invite her to family functions, would ditch her to go do things, etc. When this would happen, she was always here with me and H.

H, loving her like a little sister, had no use for him and was never outright about it, but I think F picked up the vibe and they never got close. But none of us ever got close to him, because he wasn't around to get close to.

Then, they got engaged and now, he walks on water. Never does anything wrong. So, I guess in light of all this, I can see why H wasn't asked to be in the wedding. But I truly feel like F knows that H and I see right through him and because of that, he doesn't want H and I around my sister if he can help it. There have been other occasions that have made me feel like he wants me cut out, as well.

I guess that's another reason the wedding thing bothers me. Because I don't trust him and he knows it and that's why he doesn't want H around, and there's no way to get through to my sister about it.

I hope that wasn't too long! Cookies for everyone who read it!

lest12 · March 2014

@katekat8721 - I have talked to my parents bit they don't want to cause any drama... so even though they'll agree with me, it is easier for them to guilt me into going along with everything so we "don't ruin my sister's wedding" then to say something.

katekat8721 · March 2014

@lest12 that totally makes sense. Fiance sounds like an ass and he knows that your hubby 1) knows his game and 2) doesn't buy his shit and so he's probably threatened by him! It's just so effed up that your sis and family seem to go along with this idiot fiance of hers. The fact that you called earlier in the day to see what was going on and your sis made it sound like "oh maybe dad will just swing by" does come across very sneaky.

katekat8721 · March 2014

lest12 said:

@katekat8721 - I have talked to my parents bit they don't want to cause any drama... so even though they'll agree with me, it is easier for them to guilt me into going along with everything so we "don't ruin my sister's wedding" then to say something.

Damn. Besides the fact that your FBIL sucks and my FBIL is pretty cool, it sounds like we have a similar family dynamic going on. My sis is getting married this summer and so far everything has been like walking on eggshells around her. When I do say something, I'd the bad guy and the one who is going to "ruin her day". I feel for you girl!

lest12 · March 2014

katekat8721 said:

lest12 said:

@katekat8721 - I have talked to my parents bit they don't want to cause any drama... so even though they'll agree with me, it is easier for them to guilt me into going along with everything so we "don't ruin my sister's wedding" then to say something.

Damn. Besides the fact that your FBIL sucks and my FBIL is pretty cool, it sounds like we have a similar family dynamic going on. My sis is getting married this summer and so far everything has been like walking on eggshells around her. When I do say something, I'd the bad guy and the one who is going to "ruin her day". I feel for you girl!

It's so frustrating!

So, on another note, can I ask... how is your family balancing the babies and wedding all around the same time? Are you in the wedding?

It feels like an awful lot of events and stuff is going in here, with my fam, and most recently I was given some attitude for not committing to an overnight bachelorette party in August. I have no idea what my days/nights will be like! I'm not sure they expect from me.

katekat8721 · March 2014

@lest12

Omg it's hard. I'm the MOH and her wedding is about 2 months after the babies are due. My family is trying to balance excitement over the babies vs excitement over the wedding, but my sister tends to get jealous when the talk focuses on the babies and not the wedding. So that's fun!

My mom tries to keep the peace but when she's being really bad eventually does put her in her place. I think it's because there's been some outrageous bridezilla moments that even she couldn't ignore!

It's easier to just keep quiet at this point. I love her and want her to have a wonderful wedding and want to be actively involved, it's just frustrating when she doesn't understand. Such as, hey a month after the babies are born a weekend bachelorette party nine hours away may not be easy for me, but I'll go and bring DH and the babies so I can BF... that pissed her off... just stuff like that!

lest12 · March 2014

@katekat8721 - it sounds so similar to what's going on with us. Her wedding is in September and I'm just trying to do what I'm supposed to be doing as MOH but keep it in perspective with getting ready for a baby. Luckily I have my mom, aunt and cousin to do some of the wedding stuff but then I get the little guilt trips, too. I'm not sure what they want from me! Good luck to both of us! If you ever want to vent, I'm here

katekat8721 · March 2014

@lest12 thanks girl, and same to you! We can commiserate, even if we can't drink (yet! lol)

chickpea912 · March 2014

@lest12 Ugh, I'm sorry - that just sucks. My family has issues with DH, too, and it can be frustrating, especially since there seems to be no real reason (At one point, my mom said he was "too smart" and so she felt like she couldn't have a conversation with him... the fuck???)

Do you feel like it is something that would be helped if you said something - maybe use this situation as the excuse to talk about it, since it seems to go beyond JUST this one gathering?

lest12 · March 2014

@chickpea912 - thanks.

My sister is really non-confrontational to the point of infuriating, lol, so the last few times we didn't talk for a week and then pretended nothing happened. This is her preference but drives me crazy - I like to put it all out there, hash it out and move on.

This time, I tried something different. My parents blew my being upset into a big thing, so I just decided not to go. But, then I sent her an e-mail apologizing for not going, but explaining why I was upset and how I feel like there's an elephant in the room all the time now.

I think I wrote it very nicely... but we shall see how it goes over.

And "too smart"?? Uh... ok. I'm sorry you've had to deal with that. It's no fun.

babybean82 · March 2014

Wow so I am pretty sure my baby is attempting to twerk or something like that I just had the strangest shaking feeling and my belly literally shook like a bowl of jelly. I so wish I had a window to see what he is doing in there.

diagonalley · March 2014

A close friend just texted me the date of her son's christening and it is the same day as my shower. We have a core group of 4 of us and it makes me wonder what the other two will do. I am just bummed they ended up the same day...we don't get to see each other often cause we live about 2hrs apart each, and I was hoping to be able to hang out after the shower. Pity party for self

whoberry · March 2014

@ugabamafans I LOVE Annabelle!

lest12 · March 2014

That sucks @mommyp710. Did she know about the shower date?

lest12 · March 2014

I was thinking the same thing, @rachel5130 - my church only does the 3rd Sunday of the month and because of other family events, the only day we can do the Christening in a 5 month window is August 17th. I just have no other options. Maybe it is a situation like that?

lest12 · March 2014

Agreed! On another note, I think posts about decreased movement and kick counts are going to get the best of my anxiety in the next few months.

lest12 · March 2014

My desire to go to target is outweighed my desire to not put on a bra today.

diagonalley · March 2014

@lest12 @rachel5130 @mrsdbc She did not know my shower date. My mom hasn't sent out the invites yet, but was hoping to soon because so many out of town people are being invited that she wanted to give them a heads up. This is pretty much why my friend texted me her date, also because I'm out of town for her to give me a heads up. The christening is at 11 followed by a reception 12-4. The good news is that my shower is at my mom's house which is about 45 min from where she lives, so realistically the other two girls could probably do both, but I doubt she'd be able to make it (which I understand) and I won't likely be going to the christening knowing my shower is that afternoon. Just a bummer. I don't anticipate it causing any rifts or anything, just a crappy coincidence. And at this point I don't think the date could be changed...I'd rather not have it any later as I am due at the beginning of June, and before that would be Easter so that gets complicated, too. Thanks though ladies!

lest12 · March 2014

I'm sorry. That's a bummer. At least the other two girls won't have to make that decision... I think it sounds like you 4 will need to plan a girls weekend or something in the fall when things calm down

lest12 · March 2014

I'm not being sarcastic here... Is the doctor supposed to be checking my cervical length every time? I do t think mine has ever been checked.

lest12 · March 2014

Also, SS: I need to decide like, Tomorrow, if I'm going to change my doctor. I have been straddling 2 since I posted a few weeks ago, because I'm really nervous. I think there's issues with my current dr, but I like him as a person and feel bad. I just don't know if I like him as a dr.

lest12 · March 2014

@rachel5130 - I like my current dr, but I feel like every time I ask a question, he makes me feel neurotic for even asking. When I asked about birthing classes, he told me "if I felt like it" and that birthing plans usually have to go out the window. I get that sometimes things go a certain way and the dr has to step in, but... I feel like I have zero idea what's going on, and zero control. And stupid asking questions. The new dr was nice enough in the 10 minute consult and promises to be different... Plus, she's at the best hospital for l&d in Boston, which DH finds super important. If this was week 1, I'd go with her, but it's hard to leave what I've gotten comfortable with at this point. I think I'm just scared.? Thoughts?

lest12 · March 2014

Thanks, I think you are right and I just need to make the jump!

chickpea912 · March 2014

lest12 said:

I'm not being sarcastic here... Is the doctor supposed to be checking my cervical length every time? I do t think mine has ever been checked.

I seem to have mine measured at every ultrasound (I get a growth ultrasound every 4 weeks, and that'll switch to every 2 weeks soon, I think) - I think since they're measuring everything already, they measure that. I don't remember if they did that last time or not, but they seem to be doing it this time.

lest12 · March 2014

So... I'm going to sound like an idiot, but how do they check it?

I wish I knew anything about having babies. Maybe I do need a new doctor, lol.

chickpea912 · March 2014

Well, I don't know about the other girls, but they just measure it when they were doing the u/s - not an internal check or anything. So just as they measured my fluid, the babies measurements, etc., the small small space between my placenta and my cervix, they measured the length of my cervix on the screen.

I assumed that was how others did, too, since I that's the only way I've ever had it done.

coffee-saur · March 2014

I just had to check my siggy drink of choice. I feel like such a outcast, no booze! lol

SandraPB1220 · March 2014

I have my cervix length checked every two weeks at my ultrasounds both because I've had a leep, and because I'm having twins. Mine are done transvaginally after the other ultrasound stuff is done.

katekat8721 · March 2014

They check my cervix length during growth ultrasounds (once every 4 weeks). When I went to the doc complaining of cramps they also checked it then. So far it's been internally with my old friend, the Dildo Cam. We got very well acquainted during IVF

So far the docs have been surprisingly happy with the length. I am a weirdo and like reading how people's cervical checks and stuff are going. But I like to know as much as I can about stuff like this, that way if something happens I have an idea of whether or not it's normal.

abastian00 · March 2014

lest12 - I met someone this weekend who switched her dr at 32 weeks!! There is still hope for you

jshrop · March 2014

mrsdbc said:
How awful is a 15 lb weight gain at this point? I have a feeling dh will flip his lid and I will want to kick him in the balls but I'm not sure if it would be deserved or not. I think I gained 18-20 at this point with ds. Drs are saying I'm on track but dh apparently has a diff standard for me since I'm already "large" so I dont need to up my cal intake (which is hard to manage when I'm starving) bc the baby "will absorb the fat already there"

Ugh. Tell him to shove it up his ass. I've gain an even 30 so far. Yes I know it's too much, but my doc isn't worried and I haven't gained anything in about 6 weeks. My hubs hates it but I explained he doesn't really get a say in this part of the pregnancy. I think your weight is an issue for you and your doc to worry about. Husbands get no say on that front (as long as you aren't eating poorly while dealing with a health issue like GD ect)

otter1103 · March 2014

@mrsdbc I'm sorry your DH is making you feel this way. (Hugs) I agree with @Rachel5130, don't deprive yourself. I feel like no one should be allowed to comment on weight gain during pregnancy. Every pregnancy and every woman are different and there are SO many variables.

I am a little freaked out by my weight gain but my OB is not concerned about it so that puts me at ease somewhat. I don't normally like to discuss or compare weight but I'm 26 weeks and have already put on 16lbs. So that level of gain isn't out of the ordinary.

Hugs again to you!

otter1103 · March 2014

Rachel5130 said:
It makes me sick when men today are so harsh about weight surrounding a pregnancy. Whatever happened to the Nude Woman from Willendorf, Austria and Aphrodite being the examples of beauty? Curves and womanhood at its finest?

It saddens me that we are so pressured into fitting society's norm before, during and most especially after pregnancy. To me, it almost negates the miracle of pregnancy and childbirth for some women. It would for me.

I couldn't agree with you more on this! And I wish we could stop being bombarded with celebrity images of so and so weeks or months after giving birth and looking so fit. Yes they can do it when you have a personal trainer, chef and nanny. And not too mention the make up and airbrushing of photos anyway so we never really see the real image

rainbowdashh · March 2014

@mrsdbc, I'm sorry your H is acting that way. It's not like you're gaining weight just because... You're pregnant! Maybe I'm just having a crazy pregnant hormone day, but it hurts my feelings for you. No one likes to watch the scale go up!

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