Just closed on a house today and having a csection for baby #2 in about 10 days. My parents helped us with down pymt and are staying 6-8 wks to help us with our 2 under 2. We purposefully bought a 4 bdrm to accommodate their long visits. My mom also just finished chemo about 2 mos ago. She's doing much better but still regaining her strength and normal bodily functions.
So. We have had plans to put them in baby #2's room while she is in our room. The fourth bdrm is downstairs and we'll be using it as a playroom for the next five years or so. My parents are asking to be put in the fourth bdrm bc they don't want to deal w the stairs. Their place has stairs. My brothers place has stairs. The stairs in our place don't seem to pose any significant issue beyond the stairs they weather everyday. Putting them in the fourth bdrm would eliminate the playroom. Changing tables, play yards, couch, chairs, swing, trunks, etc. would have to be temporarily moved into the living rm, dining rm, kitchen, or upstairs or into the basemt. There wouldn't be any blocked off area for DS to play which would be interesting while I'm trying to take care of a newborn.
In addition, once they've gone, we would have to rearrange everything, including moving the bed from the fourth bdrm up two stories to the attic. We are hiring movers who will do dverything for us when we move in. We will not be hiring movers to rearrange our house later.
Are we being unreasonable by saying no? They've helped and will help us a lot, but they are only going to be sleeping in the bdrm. I'm not seeing a profuse number of trips up and down the stairs by them. Although I certainly will be trekking up and down more bc the only space for the kids will be upstairs. I honestly can't fathom how this would go. I was overwhelmed trying to plan things already.
I'm having a wtf reaction to this last minute request for a change in plans. Can I get an objective opinion?
Re: Gmama drama
I'd say you're worried about having to move furniture after they go. Perhaps they'll offer to help. Otherwise... It's just two rooms worth of stuff and they're doing you a big favor. Moving a few things around is not a huge deal.
Married: 5/09 ~ TTC Since: 10/10 ~ PCOS ~ Progesterone from 10/10 - 2/11 ~ HSG on 3/18 - Clear ~ Started Metformin 1000mg & Clomid 50mg 2/11 ~ Metformin upped to 1500mg 4/6 ~ 6/7 Now going to SG and put on Clomid, Ovidrel, Gonal F, Prometrium, Estrace ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP!!!!!! March 6th our little man was born.
6/17/13 - Ovidrel, Follistim, Prometrium ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP! March 17th our St. Pattys day baby arrived
10/29/17 - Started process for IVF, got pregnant & miscarried a 2nd time since summer. 2/22 started stims - Menopur, Gonal F, Cetrotide - retrieval 3/6 - , PIO, estrace 3xday - FET 4/18 = Beta 1: 616; Beta 2: 1342 = BFP
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Married: 5/09 ~ TTC Since: 10/10 ~ PCOS ~ Progesterone from 10/10 - 2/11 ~ HSG on 3/18 - Clear ~ Started Metformin 1000mg & Clomid 50mg 2/11 ~ Metformin upped to 1500mg 4/6 ~ 6/7 Now going to SG and put on Clomid, Ovidrel, Gonal F, Prometrium, Estrace ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP!!!!!! March 6th our little man was born.
6/17/13 - Ovidrel, Follistim, Prometrium ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP! March 17th our St. Pattys day baby arrived
10/29/17 - Started process for IVF, got pregnant & miscarried a 2nd time since summer. 2/22 started stims - Menopur, Gonal F, Cetrotide - retrieval 3/6 - , PIO, estrace 3xday - FET 4/18 = Beta 1: 616; Beta 2: 1342 = BFP
So you are saying after they leave you will have to take the bed up two flights of stairs to the attic. Are you asking them to sleep up two flights (so on the 3rd floor) or on the 2nd floor while they stay with you? Then in your follow up you are saying you would rather have them on a mattress on the living room floor than in the guest room. That makes absolutely no sense to me. Where will they put their things? What about a little privacy for the 2 months they will be there?
If you can deal wiht a mattress in the middle of the living room floor, why can't you put a PNP and/or some baby toys in there instead? When I had DS, I had a PNP in my family room, and I had diapers, wipes, etc. in a little bin next to the PNP so I didn't have to run up and down the steps. I will do the same thing this time. It is not that hard.
It just seems like you are way too hung up on how you thoguht things would go and you are unwilling to let it go. There is not a chance in hell I would ask my parents to sleep on a mattress on the LR floor for close to two months while they helped me with my kids. Let them have the first floor BR and deal with moving things around after they are gone.
Just a space to sleep & maybe have some privacy. I don't think climbing stairs is a big deal, but they've made this request. It seems like the only thing they've asked for.
In the long run you are getting help when some get none. You get a shiny new house, help to unpack & care for your kids. Stop being selfish & let your in-law have that bedroom. It's seriously not the end of the world. FFS.
I don't even *like* my MIL-- but if she volunteered to help me after chemo then I would STFU about it.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
2. Plenty of people do 2U2 on their own. No matter who sleeps where, you're still taking about 2 kids and THREE adults. You'll be fine. And at 15 months old, your kid is going to turn any space you put him in into a disaster area. In under 10 seconds.
3. The fact that you're even considering making them sleep on a mattress on the floor just proves that the only person you're concerned about here is you. In which case YOU should have paid for YOUR downpayment so YOU can watch YOUR kids alone in the way you see fit.
The sense of entitlement here is staggering. Staggering.
Team @kimbus22.
Dump some freaking toys in the living room for your son to play with. Have a diaper changing station and nap station downstairs.
Give your mom, who is recovering from freaking chemo, the room she requested. They gave you money and are leaving their home for SIX WEEKS to help you.
I agree you are overthinking it. Change your kids on the couch or floor and they can take naps somewhere else. Your parents (especially your mom) deserve more gratefulness than this. Even if it's inconvenice down the road when you have to....wait for it...MOVE A BED!! (((Gasp)))
Married: 5/09 ~ TTC Since: 10/10 ~ PCOS ~ Progesterone from 10/10 - 2/11 ~ HSG on 3/18 - Clear ~ Started Metformin 1000mg & Clomid 50mg 2/11 ~ Metformin upped to 1500mg 4/6 ~ 6/7 Now going to SG and put on Clomid, Ovidrel, Gonal F, Prometrium, Estrace ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP!!!!!! March 6th our little man was born.
6/17/13 - Ovidrel, Follistim, Prometrium ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP! March 17th our St. Pattys day baby arrived
10/29/17 - Started process for IVF, got pregnant & miscarried a 2nd time since summer. 2/22 started stims - Menopur, Gonal F, Cetrotide - retrieval 3/6 - , PIO, estrace 3xday - FET 4/18 = Beta 1: 616; Beta 2: 1342 = BFP
Oh and the fact she will be unpacking..unless she has specific tasks for her parents to do. I just moved 6 months ago with a husband that travels weekly, I work full time and had no help..and let me tell you..that was a cluster F with ds. He was in every box but I got it done. But again she will have a man down for cooking food or following DS so it will be a lot harder then I could imagine with only two extra set of adults to help.
Married: 5/09 ~ TTC Since: 10/10 ~ PCOS ~ Progesterone from 10/10 - 2/11 ~ HSG on 3/18 - Clear ~ Started Metformin 1000mg & Clomid 50mg 2/11 ~ Metformin upped to 1500mg 4/6 ~ 6/7 Now going to SG and put on Clomid, Ovidrel, Gonal F, Prometrium, Estrace ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP!!!!!! March 6th our little man was born.
6/17/13 - Ovidrel, Follistim, Prometrium ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP! March 17th our St. Pattys day baby arrived
10/29/17 - Started process for IVF, got pregnant & miscarried a 2nd time since summer. 2/22 started stims - Menopur, Gonal F, Cetrotide - retrieval 3/6 - , PIO, estrace 3xday - FET 4/18 = Beta 1: 616; Beta 2: 1342 = BFP
A. Giving you help with your down payment
B.giving up 2 months of her life to help you out
C. Doing this all while recovering from chemo
How selfish are you?! Give her the damn room. Do you not see everything she has done for you?! And you can't stand to repay her by doing the one thing she's asking of you?! That is just.. I don't know. I really don't even have a word for it. I'm speechless. Awful. Also, Did you not think about you know, maybe the thought of what 2 children would be like before you got pregnant? That, yeah, you might have to run around a little more and make some more adjustments? That you might just have to deal with toys strewn about the house every once in a while? I take care of my 2 kids everyday while my husband works from sun up to sun down with no help besides Disney junior. You chose to have another child. You need to figure it out, because at some point, your moms not gonna be there to hold your hand anymore.