FYI: Dilation and Effacement

KariB509 · February 2014

If there's one post on TB that annoys me more than any others, it's those asking for labor predictions based on dilation and effacement. Here's some information to keep in mind:

"For some, dilation and effacement is a gradual process that takes weeks, or even a month; others can dilate and efface overnight. (Sorry, but wishing won't make it so.)"

"Your practitioner may give you an internal exam to check how far you've dilated, and based on that he or she may make an educated guess as to when you'll deliver. But don't go racing to the delivery room just yet if that guess is "soon." For every practitioner who's been right on the money, there are a hundred women who were still pregnant — and impatient — a week later."

In short, dilation and effacement are NOT accurate signs of impending labor. The best sign of labor is regular contractions that increase in intensity. Or the baby's head being in the birth canal, whichever may come first.

Any questions? Anyone else want to add anything?

Source: https://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/symptoms-and-solutions/dilation-and-effacement.aspx

hbaby468 · February 2014

I didn't ask for your advice! Lol!!!

KariB509 · February 2014

hbaby468 said:
I didn't ask for your advice! Lol!!!

If you weren't asking my advice then you shouldn't have posted your question on the bmb that I frequent.

YankeePeach08 · February 2014

put me in the category of "still pregnant...and impatient a week later"

4cm4lyfe

>-

hbaby468 · February 2014

Of course I'm still here! I wouldn't want to miss all of you guys going completely nuts! This is so entertaining! Can we say hormonal? Lol!!

KariB509 · February 2014

Blonderedhead781 said:
Honestly, this probably won't stop the posts. People are dumb and they aren't going to read. Drive bys don't particularly care what we've already talked about or what annoys the hell out of the board. They most of the time just come in, post and either lecture us about support or not even bother to post again at all.

No, it won't stop the posts. But it certainly makes me feel better
:P

ladyglittersparkles · February 2014

@Hbaby468 FEED LARRY!!!

[Deleted User] · February 2014

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legallyginger · February 2014

hbaby468 said:
Of course I'm still here! I wouldn't want to miss all of you guys going completely nuts! This is so entertaining! Can we say hormonal? Lol!!

**checks off spot on bingo card**

[Deleted User] · February 2014

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amholley1 · February 2014

"The crowing of the hooves". FBW's labor is going to be so magical.

[Deleted User] · February 2014

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jennybean80 · February 2014

LW78 said:
I'm not dilated at all. Does this mean that I will be pregnant forever?

Yes. Obviously. ;-)

[Deleted User] · February 2014

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kaking78 · February 2014

@legallyginger has a great idea! Does anyone want to start a last month drive-by bingo game? MH is out of town until Sunday and I need a fun project I can do from my couch. I'm happy to make up cards and PM them to those that are interested.

[Deleted User] · February 2014

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peachy0709 · February 2014

hbaby468 said:

Of course I'm still here! I wouldn't want to miss all of you guys going completely nuts! This is so entertaining! Can we say hormonal? Lol!!

Oh. Women like you are just THE BEST.

AshleyO925 · February 2014

So we have the cervix check, hormonal call out, I wasn't asking for your advice when I asked a question. Who feels sorry for our husbands and little ones? I want five in a row!!!!!

ProudMommy030614 · February 2014

Wait a minute my mucous plug is still in place anyone know how much longer I will be pregnant?

Andreabills · February 2014

Anneplusone said:

AshleyO925 said:

So we have the cervix check, hormonal call out, I wasn't asking for your advice when I asked a question. Who feels sorry for our husbands and little ones? I want five in a row!!!!!

Don't forget the "everyone tells me I'm huge!"

And the "should I call the doctor?"

nlane0723 · February 2014

ShellsBells1980 said:

kirotea said:

ShellsBells1980 said:

Is it bad that i don't even know (and can't be arsed googling) what effacement is?? lol
$:\$ ">

oh FFS. google it yourself. WE ARE NOT YOUR PERSONAL GOOGLE.

Oh FFS!! DID I ASK YOU WHAT IT MEANT???????????????/ READ THE GOD DAMN POST BEFORE GETTING SNARKY WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTUALLY TAKING THE PISS ALONGSIDE YOU, I EVEN "LOL'D" NOW I JUST LOL AT PEOPLE WHO CAN'T READ!

That escalated quickly.

AnonymousMotherOfOne · February 2014

kaking78 said: @legallyginger has a great idea! Does anyone want to start a last month drive-by bingo game? MH is out of town until Sunday and I need a fun project I can do from my couch. I'm happy to make up cards and PM them to those that are interested.

Wait, wait, wait. I read everything, even if I don't post as often as you guys. Do I still count as a drive-byer?

--------------------------------------

ShellsBells1980 said:

kirotea said:

ShellsBells1980 said:

Is it bad that i don't even know (and can't be arsed googling) what effacement is?? lol
$:\$ ">

oh FFS. google it yourself. WE ARE NOT YOUR PERSONAL GOOGLE.

Oh FFS!! DID I ASK YOU WHAT IT MEANT???????????????/ READ THE GOD DAMN POST BEFORE GETTING SNARKY WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTUALLY TAKING THE PISS ALONGSIDE YOU, I EVEN "LOL'D" NOW I JUST LOL AT PEOPLE WHO CAN'T READ!

Breathe. Please. You're making yourself look stupid.

BoogieMonster629 · February 2014

What the hell does arsed googling mean???

rockopera · February 2014

ShellsBells1980 said:

kirotea said:

ShellsBells1980 said:

kirotea said:

ShellsBells1980 said:

Is it bad that i don't even know (and can't be arsed googling) what effacement is?? lol
$:\$ ">

oh FFS. google it yourself. WE ARE NOT YOUR PERSONAL GOOGLE.

Oh FFS!! DID I ASK YOU WHAT IT MEANT???????????????/ READ THE GOD DAMN POST BEFORE GETTING SNARKY WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTUALLY TAKING THE PISS ALONGSIDE YOU, I EVEN "LOL'D" NOW I JUST LOL AT PEOPLE WHO CAN'T READ!

Well, since I can read - I read your post and thought you were 100% serious. Just because you add "lol" to the end of your post does not automatically mean you are just kidding.

I'm surprised you didn't just pull the hormonal card on me too. Or maybe it was because you were too busy trying to insult my ability to read.

Well I wasn't, and you were too busy looking for someone to pull down by the looks of it, so yeah, i got pissy too. Just because i said i can't be arsed googling didn't mean I was asking anyone anything. I'm not stupid, i'm well aware of my own internet research abilities and i know how to pick up a phone and dial the MW's number, so i ask you don't tar me with the same brush as other idiots/trolls on here. Please?

------
Then stop acting like it. And the shouty temper tantrum is definitely acting like it.

[Deleted User] · February 2014

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BoogieMonster629 · February 2014

[Deleted User] · February 2014

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BoogieMonster629 · February 2014

Andreabills · February 2014

Add the "you guise are such bullies" line to the BINGO card!

AshleyO925 · February 2014

kirotea said:
Oh honey, you'd know it if I "jumped on your arse."

All 237 lbs of it

rockopera · February 2014

1. Huge temper tantrum when snarked
2. Continuing to justify tantrum
3. "You guys" are soooo mean to newbies/not regs whining
4. Continuing to "fight" back because you are soooo right

Yeah, you are acting like a butthurt newbie. You could have just said "my bad, didn't mean to make it seem like I was asking." But you went down this crazy train route and you keep making it worse.

nickied143 · February 2014

I've missed a lot today, apparently!

elliebean14 · February 2014

@kaking78 - Count me in for the bingo game. H works all weekend and we are supposed to get MORE snow so I plan to spend some quality time with the couch and my iPad.

LiFeIsAmIrAcLe · February 2014

Wow I missed a lot in the last several hours. The fun always happens when I get busy lol

lnvane00 · February 2014

BoogieMonster629 said:

Omg I was about to go find this gif!! You read my mind!

rockopera · February 2014

Really? All caps meltdown, "READ THE GOD DAMN POST," and a whole "us vs. you" whine...that's what you see as dignified? Okay. That's cool.

I don't think I own the board. I'm just calling out some ridiculous bullshit when I see it. You got snarked because you weren't clear when you were trying to be funny. And now you're taking up some battle for what, really? To be right? To be dignified? How's that going for you?

lnvane00 · February 2014

Im starting to hate the word arse

if that's even a real word..

ifr8955 · February 2014

Wait... Does no one care what I find out when I do daily cervical checks?

AshleyO925 · February 2014

FarmBoysWife said:

Wait... Does no one care what I find out when I do daily cervical checks?
@irf8955 only if you're doing them yourself and you're actually using objects from that chart to measure!

and make sure to not wash your sheets after!

SomersIsles · February 2014

schlanderer2005 said:

ShellsBells1980 said:

kirotea said:

ShellsBells1980 said:

Is it bad that i don't even know (and can't be arsed googling) what effacement is?? lol
$:\$ ">

oh FFS. google it yourself. WE ARE NOT YOUR PERSONAL GOOGLE.

Oh FFS!! DID I ASK YOU WHAT IT MEANT???????????????/ READ THE GOD DAMN POST BEFORE GETTING SNARKY WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTUALLY TAKING THE PISS ALONGSIDE YOU, I EVEN "LOL'D" NOW I JUST LOL AT PEOPLE WHO CAN'T READ!

That escalated quickly.

.................

This is the best movie line ever. EVER.

I still need to see Anchorman 2...

Edit... mobile quoting hates me

babylimas · February 2014

So I guess this means no one is going to explain effacement?

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