Gender preference

noragerman86 · February 2014

Anyone have a strong preference for a gender? I've always and still want a little girl so badly! This is our first and obviously we are thrilled either way and that the baby turns out healthy is most important and when I see/hold the baby for the first time nothing else will matter but I can't imagine not having a little princess. I think that there is a taboo about having a preference and I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting one gender or the other. There are so many people who don't care what the sex and that's fine and all the better for you but are there any views really want a boy or really want girl? We find out in 2 weeks. The suspense is driving me nuts!

stella_blu · February 2014

I was hoping for a second girl and am totally ok that we are having a boy but I did mourn not having a girl a bit as this is our last baby. In my head I always wanted DD to have a sister because I don't and see so many people that are very close to theirs. She'll just have to be close to her brothers though

cakebatter27 · February 2014

I'll grab the popcorn. Extra butter, right?

OP posts like this won't go over well. I assume you mean the sex, not the gender. They're not interchangeable.

katnipeverclean · February 2014

You must be new here.

@cakebatter27 yes please on the extra butter.

mcvgal · February 2014

I already have a boy so I think having another boy may be easier. But other than that I really have no preference. I just hope this one stays in longer than 30 weeks.

Lola825 · February 2014

No, I have no preference on the SEX of my baby.

tourqeyes · February 2014

noragerman86 said:
Anyone have a strong preference for a gender? I've always and still want a little girl so badly! This is our first and obviously we are thrilled either way and that the baby turns out healthy is most important and when I see/hold the baby for the first time nothing else will matter but I can't imagine not having a little princess. I think that there is a taboo about having a preference and I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting one gender or the other. There are so many people who don't care what the sex and that's fine and all the better for you but are there any views really want a boy or really want girl? We find out in 2 weeks. The suspense is driving me nuts!

Littlebean312 · February 2014

I want a boy, yeah it's not politically correct to want anything but a heathy baby but I do want a boy. There's a lot if women on here who are so blessed to just be pregnant who hope for a baby who is coming home in there arms in July. We are so blessed to have these babies inside us I wish everyone a happy outcome.

cakebatter27 · February 2014

Smart move @tourqeyes.

katnipeverclean · February 2014

symphony4586 said:

No, I don't care what gender my child will end up being. I also don't care about what genitalia is currently between their legs. If you're only concerned about gender you have much longer than 2 weeks to wait to find that out....

But at someone who is on her fourth pregnancy and yet to have a live birth I'm just going to be thankful to have a baby, and not be picky about its sex organs.

Hugs momma.

January Bride · February 2014

I agree that it is very unpopular to state a preference for the sex of your baby. Good luck, OP

But... I would be lying if I said that I wouldn't slightly lean toward girl if I had the choice. Please don't get me wrong, if the sex of our baby is a boy I will be thrilled beyond belief. All I want is a healthy child (like everyone else on here) and at the end of the day, of course I don't care at all.

I didn't really have a relationship with my Mom as a child, so I always had a little dream of having a mother-daughter relationship someday, since I missed out on mine. Just a thought, though. I can't wait to have a son or daughter.

January Bride · February 2014

Hugs, Symphony.

pfeilele · February 2014

I used to want a girl. Now I want a take home baby. Or a child that doesn't need a wheelchair or cochlear implants or extensive therapy. I understand having a preference for the sex of your child, but I don't really see what this thread is going to bring to the group. Personally, it's rubbing salt in my fresh wounds.

noragerman86 · February 2014

Well I'm not going to treat my son like a princess obviously. Unless that's his preference when he is old enough to choose.

strmbreez · February 2014

No. I have zero preference on what sex my baby is. And I'm soooooooooo FREAKIN' sick of people asking that I'm tempted to not find out until I give birth. Oy.

noragerman86 · February 2014

I obviously clearly stated that health is most important to us and we are just excited to be pregnant. Just because someone wants a boy or girl clearly does not mean that's "most important". I joined the bump for advice and support and some people are great but I've never seen more rude, attacking, passive aggressive women in my life. This is suppose to be a support group people. If you don't agree with someone that's more than fine but don't put words in someone's mouth. No need to be rude and attacking with the opinions however different they may be.

noragerman86 · February 2014

pfeilele said:
I used to want a girl. Now I want a take home baby. Or a child that doesn't need a wheelchair or cochlear implants or extensive therapy. I understand having a preference for the sex of your child, but I don't really see what this thread is going to bring to the group. Personally, it's rubbing salt in my fresh wounds.

I am sorry for your troubles. Obviously health is most important. I work as an occupational therapist so the problems of kids born with medical issues is not lost on me. But the other end of the spectrum is that people should not get chastised for wanting a certain gender. It's not like if someone wants a gender type they are saying "I'd rather have a girl than a healthy boy" that's obviously absurd.

katnipeverclean · February 2014

noragerman86 said:

I obviously clearly stated that health is most important to us and we are just excited to be pregnant. Just because someone wants a boy or girl clearly does not mean that's "most important". I joined the bump for advice and support and some people are great but I've never seen more rude, attacking, passive aggressive women in my life. This is suppose to be a support group people. If you don't agree with someone that's more than fine but don't put words in someone's mouth. No need to be rude and attacking with the opinions however different they may be.

Wrong. This is not a support group. This is an internet forum. I fail to see where anyone has been passive aggressive. I don't think that means what you think it means.

katnipeverclean · February 2014

birthjunkie13 said:

noragerman86 said:

I obviously clearly stated that health is most important to us and we are just excited to be pregnant. Just because someone wants a boy or girl clearly does not mean that's "most important". I joined the bump for advice and support and some people are great but I've never seen more rude, attacking, passive aggressive women in my life. This is suppose to be a support group people. If you don't agree with someone that's more than fine but don't put words in sime

Have you seen how other posts like this have gone? If you bothered to look, you may have chose your words differently, or potentially decided to skip this topic all together.

Or maybe if you bothered to read the topics happening now, you would've been sensitive to the fact that women here are dealing with some significant challenges regarding the HEALTH of their baby.

Amen!

noragerman86 · February 2014

That doesn't make other moms to be questions or opinions invalid. If people have issues going on then maybe they shouldn't read it. There are titles for a reason. If I had infertility issues I'm not going to read a post titles "we got pregnant on the first try!" It's a public forum if you are going to be offended then dont read it. Just because someone has a preference does not in anyway mean they are not empathetic or sympathetic to the hardships of others. This is getting taken way too seriously.

katnipeverclean · February 2014

noragerman86 said:

That doesn't make other moms to be questions or opinions invalid. If people have issues going on then maybe they shouldn't read it. There are titles for a reason. If I had infertility issues I'm not going to read a post titles "we got pregnant on the first try!" It's a public forum if you are going to be offended then dont read it. Just because someone has a preference does not in anyway mean they are not empathetic or sympathetic to the hardships of others. This is getting taken way too seriously.

Pain Olympics aren't popular here either. Quit while you're ahead.

Littlebean312 · February 2014

Sorry to ask but what is the difference between "gender" and "sex" arent they the same? Meaning boy or girl?

Ylvelill · February 2014

I am hoping the gender of my babies will match their sex

January Bride · February 2014

SarahVol131 said:
Wrong. This is not a support group. This is an internet forum. I fail to see where anyone has been passive aggressive. I don't think that means what you think it means.

Not to make light of a serious topic, because I think OP was out of line, but...

Littlebean312 · February 2014

Thanks for the clarification. Small town girl here we use the words interchangeable. I have to believe people like me don't get that others could have a different perspective on what the words mean.

cakebatter27 · February 2014

Littlebean312 said:
Thanks for the clarification. Small town girl here we use the words interchangeable. I have to believe people like me don't get that others could have a different perspective on what the words mean.

No harm there. I'm also a very small town girl and if I said gender instead of sex I don't know anyone who would blink an eye. The board has made me realize my error in wording though and now I try to say sex when I'm talking penis or vagina.

beccaxrad · February 2014

Obviously this was not meant to offend anyone and I don't think people should be so upset about the original post. I get a little sad seeing so many people jump down the throats of a poster even though there was clearly no harm intended. I'm sure she meant sex instead of gender and no one can help hoping for one sex over the other. If you do, it's part of being human and I find that preferences are ok.

taylorjeanne84 · February 2014

I get having a slight preference, but if you are dealing with gender dissapointment, or think you will...this is not the place for that topic. Try in-gender.com. They have boards for that kind of thing.

TallMomma29 · February 2014

BPaws said:

I thought this thread was pretty tame so far.... A lot of it is in the wording OP. A lot. And the timing. It's a dick move to start talking about not being able to imagine not having a little princess when some of our posters (who are receiving much needed and much deserved support) are wondering whether they will have a child to bring home. Many of us (myself included) have said "hey, you know what.... sure I have a preference". There's a way to do it without being insensitive to what people are going through.

This.

It's not the fact that you admit that you have a preference that is such a big a deal, OP. It's your wording and your attitude. You could have stated you have a preference and asked if others had a preference in a way that would not come off so offensive.

Also, go click on any of the posts today where someone was talking about a legitimate issue, and you will see that the women here are NOT passive, aggressive jerks just waiting to jump down other peoples throats. We are supportive of people deserving support, not insensitive people who don't even bother to read other posts and get a feel for the place before posting something careless.

alyssa719 · February 2014

noragerman86 said:
That doesn't make other moms to be questions or opinions invalid. If people have issues going on then maybe they shouldn't read it. There are titles for a reason. If I had infertility issues I'm not going to read a post titles "we got pregnant on the first try!" It's a public forum if you are going to be offended then dont read it. Just because someone has a preference does not in anyway mean they are not empathetic or sympathetic to the hardships of others. This is getting taken way too seriously.

So. First a question - if you "can't imagine not having a princess" what are you going to do if they say it's a prince? Do you have plan on how to deal with the disappointment (hopefully before he arrives)?? I feel like having a preference is one thing, whether people admit it or not, I think a lot of them do - just not to the extent where they wouldn't be *THRILLED* to have a baby regardless of wearing bows or bow ties.

That all being said, I quoted the post I did since I find it ironic that you get hurt because you think it's supposed to be a place for women to support each other... this post sounds *super* supportive to the folks who are going through a lot of difficult situations. Did you even bother checking out what's going on today from hospital visits, to bleeding, to genetic issues?! I didn't see you providing the "support" in any of those threads, but you're more than happy to come here and call people "passive aggressive" because they're supportive to people they've bonded with but find pretty princess parties to be ridiculous?

Maybe you think people are being super harsh mean to you, but seriously, as I've said to previous posters, you don't even have to worry about your sex disappointment right now because you don't know... and you just sound like a jerk. Try waiting the two weeks, and if you're still super upset that you're on team penis instead of team vagina, try asking for advice on dealing with it.

ETA: OH, just saw this is your first post in July '14! Welcome to the board.

pfeilele · February 2014

noragerman86 said:

pfeilele said:
I used to want a girl. Now I want a take home baby. Or a child that doesn't need a wheelchair or cochlear implants or extensive therapy. I understand having a preference for the sex of your child, but I don't really see what this thread is going to bring to the group. Personally, it's rubbing salt in my fresh wounds.
I am sorry for your troubles. Obviously health is most important. I work as an occupational therapist so the problems of kids born with medical issues is not lost on me. But the other end of the spectrum is that people should not get chastised for wanting a certain gender. It's not like if someone wants a gender type they are saying "I'd rather have a girl than a healthy boy" that's obviously absurd.

-------------
I understand it's normal to want a certain sex and I clearly stated that. However, if you had even read the titles on the first page alone, you'd see what some people are dealing with.

You sound like you'd be ever so disappointed with a boy, and that also makes me sad because my little boy is the best thing that has happened to me yet.

Also, you won't know your child's gender for a couple years. Just saying. Your little princess could also hate dresses, love baseball, date girls, or want to be a boy.

Csltdk · February 2014

I just wish I could take a poop

V1981 · February 2014

runrinserepeat · February 2014

This didn't go over well? Let me put on my shocked face.

Why is it always the people who haven't provided any support bitching and moaning about how unsupportive this place is? You get what you give, sweetie.

Salsera29 · February 2014

noragerman86 said:

I obviously clearly stated that health is most important to us and we are just excited to be pregnant. Just because someone wants a boy or girl clearly does not mean that's "most important". I joined the bump for advice and support and some people are great but I've never seen more rude, attacking, passive aggressive women in my life. This is suppose to be a support group people. If you don't agree with someone that's more than fine but don't put words in someone's mouth. No need to be rude and attacking with the opinions however different they may be.

::yawn:: You forgot to feel sorry for our husbands and proclaim that meanies such as us shouldn't be raising children. I barely even feel chastised. A weak effort at best.

Oh butalso...I wanted a girl but now I totes want a boy so we can have a baby lion king nursery theme and put "In gonna be a mighty king!" over his crib. That's a legit reason, right? ;-)

JMCB09 · February 2014

I have no idea what is going on here, but I'm pretty sure I accidentally flagged you, Ylvelill. I loved you to make up for it.

My bad

Ylvelill · February 2014

JMCB09 said:
I have no idea what is going on here, but I'm pretty sure I accidentally flagged you, Ylvelill. I loved you to make up for it.

My bad

Aww I figured that meant I was now in the cool club

Ylvelill · February 2014

Salsera29 said:

noragerman86 said:

I obviously clearly stated that health is most important to us and we are just excited to be pregnant. Just because someone wants a boy or girl clearly does not mean that's "most important". I joined the bump for advice and support and some people are great but I've never seen more rude, attacking, passive aggressive women in my life. This is suppose to be a support group people. If you don't agree with someone that's more than fine but don't put words in someone's mouth. No need to be rude and attacking with the opinions however different they may be.

::yawn:: You forgot to feel sorry for our husbands and proclaim that meanies such as us shouldn't be raising children. I barely even feel chastised. A weak effort at best.

Oh butalso...I wanted a girl but now I totes want a boy so we can have a baby lion king nursery theme and put "In gonna be a mighty king!" over his crib. That's a legit reason, right? ;-)

What, girls can be kings now?!

ichamommy · February 2014

I don't care about the sex/gender or any of that confusing stuff, but to answer the OP's intended question, I would love for my baby to have female reproductive organs. All I can think of are feminine names so I'm hoping my brain is on the right track. My sono is on Monday but I will not be finding out the (sex/gender/penisorvajayjay) until birth.

JMCB09 · February 2014

Ylvelill said:

JMCB09 said:
I have no idea what is going on here, but I'm pretty sure I accidentally flagged you, Ylvelill. I loved you to make up for it.

My bad
Aww I figured that meant I was now in the cool club

I'm not even in the cool club!