PgAL Questions

SchoolPsychSteph · February 2014

I know there are quite a few PgAL mommas here so I wanted your input. I'm too nervous to ask on the TTCAL board. How long were you advised to wait to TTCAL? How long did it take to conceive your next and was it a successful pregnancy carried to viablility? I've been talking to @LoHerrim and @SNLT1012 about trying again. I really would like to be pregnant again by the time June comes around. If you have any advice or words of wisdom, please share.

diagonalley · February 2014

No advice or words of wisdom but I really really hope it works out for you. FX that you get your rainbow baby asap.

Carriebear22 · February 2014

Our loss as very early, 6w plus a few days. They wanted us to wait until I had a normal period, which came 5 weeks later. Our loss was in march and we got pregnant the cycle in September, but we needed a little push with clomid and a trigger shot, so I'm not sure how long it would have taken on our own. Ive been thinking of you and we're all looking forward to seeing you announce a BFP!

RedMar · February 2014

Hi Steph- I'm so glad you're still here!! I've been thinking a lot about you! Just a heads up, a lot of the girls over at TTCAL are Debbie Downers. Plus I want you to stay here

.
We had a miscarriage this past spring and decided to take the summer off from "trying" and reconnect with each other. We planned a nice getaway and kept in mind that we'd try again in the fall bc I too wanted to be pregnant the month I was supposed to be due (October). It took only a couple months to conceive again which we were thankful for bc I've had bad cases of endometriosis in the past that have posed the threat of infertility.
Everyone is different as far as when they're physically/emotionally ready to try and conceive again. I do know that this summer only made our relationship stronger and was so nice to take the time to fall in love with my husband again. Wishing you the best as you remain in my thoughts and prayers!! ((Hugs))

Lindsleigh77 · February 2014

I had a natural miscarriage last July 4 and was advised to wait 3 months if possible but also told to trust my feelings of readiness to try again. In order to allow myself time to heal emotionally we waited until October and the results were immediate the first time we had unprotected sex. It had usually taken us 4-6 months in the past and I found I felt more fertile after my miscarriage if that makes sense. So far this pregnancy has been good, minor spotting early on and monitoring a cyst on the umbilical cord but looking very positive. Fingers crossed my sticky baby girl stays sticky. I'm so very sorry for your loss and I wish you nothing but huge success in trying again as soon as you feel ready. Good luck xo

katiebartton · February 2014

I've been told a range of 1-3 months each different with each loss. I think your doctors should be able to advise on a good recommendation. I have taken anywhere from 1-3 cycles to get pregnant. This pregnancy I got pregnant our first cycle after I was cleared to try again.

The TTCAL board is a great place once you feel ready/comfortable to jump in

Eta: I was told 1 cycle after a natural miscarriage and 3 after my losses that required D&Cs

katekat8721 · February 2014

No experience but sending you lots and lots of love.

SchoolPsychSteph · February 2014

Oh, I forgot to mention I have not seen my doctor. She told me, "nothing in the vagina for 2-4 weeks." Like I'm stashing nuts for the winter or something. Of course I'll ask her for her professional opinion, but wanted input from those that have been there, done that.

MommaAshley12 · February 2014

I had a natural mc at 6 weeks and was told to wait one cycle. We got pregnant on the 4th cycle ttcal. Sometimes it takes a bit for your body to recover and for your cycles to normalize again. I would advise you to talk to your doc and also to make sure you are emotionally ready. It would also be helpful for you to start charting ( basal body temp) to figure out what your body is up to. I wish you the best. I hope you are pregnant again very soon. Again, so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby. Big (((hugs))) and prayers!

katiebartton · February 2014

Oh I forgot to mention it can take a long time for your period to return which can be frustrating. I went 60 days and had to get prescribed provera to kickstart it. I would also ask when you meet with your doctor what their recommendation is for how long you should wait for it to return before following up with them etc.

Lots of ((hugs))

Unknown · February 2014

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JulieSmiles · February 2014

No advice but wanted to wish you the best of luck. We all think of you often and are only hoping for the best for you. Please keep us updated on how you are doing.

beaarthur4 · February 2014

Hi...I am so sorry for your loss. I've gone through a loss too...around 17 weeks. It took me three years to get pregnant that first time. It's devastating and my heart goes out to you.

I was told to wait at least two months. Since it took three years to get pregnant, this two months didn't even seem to matter. But...apparently the hormones from the pregnancy regulated my cycle and I conceived three months later.

Good luck to you!!

Puka99 · February 2014

we chose to induce our son Lucas when we found out he no longer had a heartbeat at our 18w appt. I delivered him on February 26 and my period returned March 25. Our doc said to wait 3 cycles and we could try again.

Honestly I was terrified to try again. I also was not convinced that there was nothing wrong with me (all the testing came back as normal on him and me.) I found out about reproductive immunology and basically they look at immune issues as a culprit of recurrent pregnancy loss (I had three m/c between my two living children and then Lucas was after my second living son.) and we weren't ready to try. I wasn't even sure that I wanted to try at all as I have two great boys. But I did see this doc in July and she was wonderful. I got some answers and got what she would do when we got pregnant along with my Ob/Gyn. I do have some inflammation along with a few other things and we got answers. Once I got answers I felt better. So we started trying in August and got a BFN. Tried again in Sept and got our BFP.

Lots of hugs and prayers to you.

SchoolPsychSteph · February 2014

I hate that I'm in this position. I feel like the last 18 weeks were wasted only to have to wait another 12 or so. I just want my baby, dammit.

hubbs173 · February 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss @schoolpsychsteph!!
I miscarried over the summer around 11 wks (end of July) and I had to have a D&C. My doctor had me on a pelvic rest for about 2 wks until my post op recheck. She then advised me to wait one cycle before trying again. I got my period a month (end of August) after the surgery and found out I was pregnant in Sept. We wanted to try again as soon as possible but it definitely was an emotional roller coaster leading up to trying again. I'm glad we tried again right away though!!
Good luck to you and I hope everything works out for you!!

FeliciaTwo · February 2014

Hi, Steph. My first pregnancy was a miscarriage in Sept/Oct of 2012. We never saw a heartbeat, but I still hadn't passed the baby by 10 weeks and they advised we take it out via D&C, which we did on Oct 2 2012.

So in that way the loss was "not natural." I'm not sure if that affected anything afterwards, but I had lots of intermittent bleeding but no period (bleeding after ovulation) until 12 weeks after the D&C. (My doctor said we could start trying whenever we wanted). My next cycles were 8 weeks, then 8 weeks. By that point (we'd been having sex every other day for something like 6 months) we decided to see a fertility specialist. (I feel I should mention that I'm 34 and my husband is 50). We did 4 cycles with the fertility specialist, all IUIs, all with drugs, and two with injectable drugs. Our last of those 4 resulted in this pregnancy. So my second BFP (this one) was about 13 months after the first BFP.

Those 13 months were *extremely* difficult, in particular the first 6 months after the loss. I felt like my body was failing me and that I would never be a mother. I'm so sorry that you have to experience a loss. I really hope that you're able to get pregnant again more easily. (Although to be fair, 13 months isn't that bad).

lest12 · February 2014

No real answers, but wanted to say good luck as you move forward and that Im thinking of you.

MollySm · February 2014

I'm sorry you are going throuh this and I totally understand the frustration of having to start again at the beginning.

I was told to wait until my period and then we could start TTC again, but mine was an early loss. I had another doctor look into the research and was told that there was no real reason to wait at all, but since my doctor only said until AF, I didn't really worry about that. That info was for early loss though - I have no idea about 2nd tri loss.

I had a natural MC. Afterwards, my cycle, which has always been super regular was all of a sudden irregular. I had never temped before, but I started right away bc I had heard it might be a problem, and it was. I also would get my normal, about to ovulate signs 2 or 3 different times per cycle, so it was hard to figure out when to have sex.

That being said, ithas always taken me 3 cycles to get pregnant. 3 with Lucia, 3 with my second pregnancy that ended in miscarriage, and 3 with this pregnancy. So that didn't change. Thispregnancy is not viable yet, but things are looking more and more positive.

The TTCAL board was a great help, and I found itto be pretty easy to follow along with. In particular their checkins (especially the ones for Newbies and the ones for the due date month of your loss) were helpful and a great way to find your niche.

I'm sending you so many ((hugs)). It's a really sucky place to be in. It was so hard for me not to be so frustrated with my body. I cried a lot, and drank more than I usually do. Finding people you can talk to and cry with is important. I am always here if you need anything or just want to talk.

Kristalina · February 2014

I definitely understand the feeling of "wasting" time. I got a diagnosis of turners syndrome with my first pregnancy but didn't want to give up. So we went along hoping things would work out, but knowing the odds we very much against us. 3 weeks later at almost 14 weeks I miscarried. My doctor said to wait one cycle then we could try again.
We got pregnant the first month we tried which was the second month after our loss and we lost that pregnancy also at 9 weeks (baby only grew to 6 weeks.) After that we were advised to wait 3 cycles and we got pregnant on the 4th. That puts me here at 19 weeks into this pregnancy and so far so good.
I really hope you get your baby soon and I'm sending you so many hugs.

EDT: spelling

curlylocks3 · February 2014

I am so sorry you're in this position. My loss was much earlier, so not really pertinent to where you are at. Anyways, I wanted to wish you luck and say that I'd highly suggest asking to speak to an MFM prior to TTC again. They can review everything that happened during this pregnancy and give recommendations of what, if anyhing, they'd do differently in a subsequent pregnancy. Hopefully that would also give you some answers and peace of mind. I met with them prior to TTC at all due to medical issues and found having that plan already was enormously helpful. I wish you all the best as you heal.

StinaLeigh · February 2014

I'm so sorry again, @schoolpsychsteph I can also identify with the feeling of "wasting" time. I had a late loss just this past June (16weeks) and was advised to wait 3 cycles. Luckily my period came back like clockwork wich was surprising as is wasn't too predictable before. It took me a year+ then 5 rounds of clomid to get pg with my first, then a year with the second (the loss) so I was upset at having spent 4 months pg then thinking I would be going back and spending another year TTC. I ended up getting pg the second cycle we were cleared (didn't have great timing the first cycle). So for me, the theory of being more fertile after a m/c was really true. That pg after loss is this one for me, no complications so far. They believe what happened was isolated (spontaneous pg of twins, loss of one + sch caused too much bleeding, then contractions and essentially labor). It was important for me to ask my dr what she thought the chances of the loss affecting future pregnancy were and she felt it would have little to no bearing as all NT scans, bloodwork, etc was normal. I'm due with this baby 2 days before my 1 year loss anniversary. Oh - Also, if you didn't chart before I would start looking into it. I've charted forever and think it makes a huge difference in how long it TTC takes. Sending so many positive and healing thoughts your way.

kibean · February 2014

@schoolpsychsteph I am sorry you have to go through this and I am praying for you every day that you get your take home baby ASAP. Life can be really rotten sometimes.

I am not sure if it makes a difference when the loss was as to how long it takes to get your period back, because I have only had one other pregnancy which ended at 9 weeks, but I was not given restrictions to wait after my D and C last summer.

I have heard they ask you to wait for dating reasons sometimes, but that would never have applied to me because of my erratic cycles. They just said nothing in vagina for 2 weeks and that it would take 6 weeks or so to get my period (which it did).

After that, I felt comfortable being intimate again, but I know for sure I did not ovulate that cycle, so it wouldn't have mattered. I got my period again in September and that was the cycle we got pregnant. I actually had no idea at the time that it could happen again so fast. I am praying the same (or faster!) happens for you!

lscal20 · February 2014

I had 2 losses, for my miscarriage at 6 weeks, I passed it naturally and bked for a month, my OB told me once I stop that bleeding and have one cycle I could try again.

We didn't try faithfully, it was more just not preventing. I got pregnant about 3 months later and that one was ectopic. I had 2 rounds of methotrexate and was told to wait one cycle after my betas got to 0.

Again, we weren't trying and I got pregnant this time about 4-5 months later

I hope it works quickly for you!! I know some ladies like to wait to heal, but I was the opposite.

Read247 · February 2014

My doc wanted me to wait until after my hormone levels went down to 0 and I had a period. I think it took about 9 weeks... But emotionally it took me longer to be ready again.

Good luck! Sending thoughts and prayers your way!!

Eta: I had a 9 week loss and I had to take cytotec. Not sure if that makes a difference.

Puka99 · February 2014

I get Steph. I really do. Give yourself some time to heal physically and emotionally. I would also make sure you see a high risk doc before you get pregnant again. See what their plan is and what they want you to do before getting pregnant again and how the pregnancy would proceed. And if you are not happy with your ob/gyn or don't think you can see them again, now would be the best time to find a new one. If you think you can handle seeing your doc still, then stick with them.

I honestly wasn't angry with my ob/gyn. She did nothing wrong in our situation but I personally couldn't face her. too many emotions/memories are associated with her. Even going back to the same office is hard and the same u/s tech who did our second u/s the day we learned he was gone was hard.

Many hugs to you.

Kinipela7 · February 2014

I miscarried my first pregnancy around 8 weeks (I had a D&C). I was told to wait until I got a period again to start trying and we did and got pregnant again that cycle. My loss was early though, so I felt like I could move on more quickly. I would just make sure you are ready again and wouldn't give yourself time limits (I want to be pregnant by June) because if it doesn't happen that can affect you negatively. Good luck and be sure to follow doc's orders!

SarainColorado2013 · February 2014

i'm so sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage last summer at 7 weeks, and my doc told me to wait two cycles. I told him we were anxious to try again, and asked about the reason for waiting two (since every doc seems to give different advice). He said that at a micro take two cycles for the uterine line to return to normal at the microscopic level....and he also said lots of couples started trying after 1 cycle, so it was a "soft recommendation." Not sure if it's different with a later loss.

We tried after 1 cycle and conceived then, so maybe there is something to the idea that you are more fertile after a loss (our first pregnancy took 5 months to conceive).

Good luck. I understand the desire to start trying again asap, for sure.

otter1103 · February 2014

I had to have a D & C when baby should've been 10 weeks but only measured 7 with no heartbeat. I was told to use protection until my 1st period (which came 6 weeks later), period 2 came 3 weeks after that. Period 3 was a normal cycle length (finally) and #4 never came due to a BFP. We weren't actively trying* either. It just happened. My whole time-based line: D & C June 6th and got a positive test result on October 6th.
Big hugs to you Steph!

Edit - *missing word. Stupid phone keyboard...

bumpuser9343355 · February 2014

I lost my first pregnancy at six weeks and had to take Cytotec. My doc told me to wait two months, but we ended up taking a few more off from trying since I wasn't really emotionally ready. Once we started trying again, I got pregnant on our fifth cycle (second using OPKs). My periods were not as regular after the miscarriage as they were before so the OPKs helped me a lot.

I'm thinking of you and sending you lots of positive vibes. I hope you get your take home baby soon!

coffee89 · February 2014

I was never advised on how long to wait, but my doctor with that pregnancy was a nightmare. My m/c was pretty early on. It occurred in the first few days of August, I had a normal period in the start of september and got my BFP in October. This has been an uneventful pregnancy, just the way I want it.

I'm certainly praying and hoping for you to conceive as soon as you are ready to.

Mztwilson · February 2014

I have never been faced with this and for all the lady's that have I am so very sorry for your losses. I have no words of wisdom for you steph but I am thinking and praying for you.

xnbride · February 2014

I have been told different things as far as when to try again (no wait to 3 months wait). I think in your situation since you miscarried late, it would be advisable to wait at least a cycle or two. It would also depend on the cause of the loss. Do the doctors have an idea of what happened? Was it a cervical issue? Infection? Chromosomal issue? etc. If for instance, you had an infection then you would want to wait longer so that your body can be clear of it before trying again.
I am so sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you. No one should have to go through this. It is also hard to persevere after a loss. There is so many things swimming around in your head including many fears about the future. Always think in terms of odds. You are more likely to carry the next baby to term then to experience another loss. You are more likely to have a successful pregnancy then not. I had one miscarriage before DS1, 3 before DS2, 3 before DS3 and 1 before these babies. I am glad that I pushed forward even though I wanted to stop trying because TTCAL is very emotionally and physically difficult, but the joy of welcoming a miracle makes all the pain and worry worth it. PM if you want to talk.

rcbuko · February 2014

I am so very sorry for your loss. I have had four losses myself though all of them were in the first trimester. The first two were consecutive and were before I had a living child. They were the worst to bear and I found it hard to have hope that I would ever have a living child. 8 years later, I am now pregnant for the eighth time with our hopeful fourth living child.

Each miscarriage was a different type. Two were natural and two were medical procedures. I was advised to wait at least one full cycle with the natural miscarriages and three cycles with the medical procedures. With the exception of scar tissue which affected my fertility following a D&C, I was able to get pregnant the first or second cycle of trying each time. I had surgery to remove the scarring from the D&C and once I was given the clear after a full cycle, I got pregnant the first cycle of trying. That was when I got pregnant with our first living child.

I understand your desire to get pregnant again. Honestly, having a living child is what truly healed my spirit. Losing my babies was the worst experience of my life and put me, who is normally a very "glass half full" type of person, into a depression. I hope you are successful when you want to be and pray that your next pregnancy is uneventful and filled with joy. For me, it helped me to stay calm by being closely monitored by doctors. I imagine that since yours was a second trimester loss, that you will have that option as well.

ELC252011 · February 2014

No advise. But wanted to wish you the best of luck

hope it happens soon.

liberty95 · February 2014

I have no pertinent advice, but wanted to wish you luck and good health!

wolson1988 · February 2014

I was told to wait one cycle but.... DS decided he didn't want to wait and he was our take home baby.

Laurelyn2012 · February 2014

As everyone else has said listen to your doctor since everyones circumstances will be different. I had a natural miscarriage at 9 weeks in Sept and went on to get pregnant with no cycle in between.

Sending you lots of positive thoughts and hope you conceive when you are ready to

Gigi8212 · February 2014

I am so sorry.

My doctor advised me to wait two weeks after my d&c to have sex. He said I could start trying right away, although he typically advises to wait one cycle for dating purposes. He told me he would be able to date the pregnancy via u/s, so as long as that didn't stress me out, he was fine with it.

Good luck!

ETA my loss was at 11 weeks but baby had stopped growing a week or two before.

sumochik · February 2014

(This is going to be long, just warning you.)

We lost a baby in September and I had to have a D&C because I never passed the baby (there was no heartbeat but it was considered a symptomless miscarriage otherwise.) My doctor made me wait over two weeks to get the D&C BC he wanted to see if it would happen naturally. He also didn't stick around afterwards to see my husband. He was a major asshole for many other reasons than the ones I listed here and I never even went back for the post surgery checkup, I just went straight to a new doctor with my medical records. That was late September and we started right after the first cycle in October and we were pregnant in November. We had our healthy baby girl on September 11, 2007 which was the one year anniversary that we found out we lost the baby... It has always felt like more than a coincidence to us.

All of that being said, I TOTALLY understand what you're going through Steph. I was the hottest mess, I quit my job, refused to see anyone until I was pregnant again, and my husband was actually tired of having sex BC I would try twice a day most days. He couldn't keep up and it wasn't the most romantic of times let me just say that. It usually ended up with a lot of crying.

I thought once I got pregnant I would feel better but it was pretty awful. I would get mad at other pregnant women who had never experienced a loss BC they had NO idea what I was going through. And I would get mad at other women who had miscarriages but already had kids or their miscarriage wasn't their first, it didn't matter I was just MAD. And sad. Every days I thought I was having a miscarriage. For nine and a half months. But once my baby came, well, there's no other feeling in the world.

The feeling never leaves though. I had another baby girl after that and I thought that having a healthy baby AL would have relieved some of the anxiety but it didn't. Even with this pregnancy it drives me nuts. I always envy women who have never experienced loss BC I see them as being innocent about pregnancy and that was taken away from me.

I went to therapy with my husband and alone. It helped a lot. And when I was finally ready to talk about it, it was amazing how many women have experienced loss and were so open about it. It was something I really didn't understand before it happened to me.
(To be honest, I didn't know that the baby had to come out when you miscarried. I know that sounds totally ridiculous, but I found out many other women thought the same thing.)

It sucks. And it's not fair. And all the dumb and shitty things people say to you afterwards makes it worse. I wanted to scream everytime someone said to me, maybe it was for the best, or it's god's way of taking babies who would have been sick, or don't worry you'll have another. And that's fine Steph, you WILL have another and it will be wonderful, but it will never replace the baby you lost.

I just wanted to say that your loss definitely touched me and you've been in my thoughts. I hope and pray you conceive again soon and get to meet your sticky baby.

dragonfly711 · February 2014

Hello

I mmc last February. We were told 1-2 cycles to wait. ( I had a dnc). We ended up waiting 3 due to ovulation was crazy the third month.

I am almost 40 so dr said if nothing in 6 months come back.

I was using Opks, CBFM, temping, charting. Was super focused on becoming pregnant.

I made appt w Dr after 5 months. We went to talk to the Dr. He was going to have me so a follicular study.

We waited for A F to come. She never did. For the heck of it I tested. It was positive.

We only had sex once I didn't think it would work but that month I was not stressing as much. Not sure if that helped but might have.

We became pregnant in October.

Hope this helps.

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