WWYD?

ksuRN09 · February 2014

So my A/S is on Feb 10th. My entire pregnancy, the dr has insisted that's the appt DH needs to be at bc it "the big appt." Totally understandable, right? Come to find out, DH isn't allowed in the ultrasound room with me. WHAT!? The reasoning is bc dads ask too many questions. Bullshit, it's our baby and we'll ask questions if we want.

So I talked with a few friends that have gone to other hospitals and the overwhelming consensus is that their husbands were all allowed in the room. I'm kinda upset about this. I'd really like for him to be in the room with me. And what is the point of him coming if he can't see the baby? That's the exciting part!

So my question is, should I be a PITA and insist on having him with me? Or I am I way overreacting and should just let it go? And that ended up being way longer than I intended. Lol

1982Babies · February 2014

That's BS - the doctor said he should be there, so he should be there. Call your doctor and tell them what's up.

BoraBoraBaby · February 2014

What?!!?!

BoraBoraBaby · February 2014

If that's their dumb policy then so be it. I'd find a place to have an elective US so DH can see before feb 10. He's just as involved in baby's life as you are.
On second thought, you shouldn't have to pay for a second US. My first thought was to keep you from getting worked up, but I agree with fighting for his right to be in there. Let them know you'd go in with a nice lengthy list of questions regardless.

lindslalala · February 2014

That's BS. Insist and don't back down, go elsewhere if necessary because that is crap.

honeybee434 · February 2014

Yeah, I've never heard of a significant other not being allowed for an ultrasound. I almost don't see how they could single out fathers. I would fight that completely and call my OB to have them get DH in or tell my OB they needed to refer me elsewhere.

Eener31 · February 2014

Be a PITA! My sister-in-law was in the room with me for my first ultrasound (6 weeks) and my husband was with me for my second ultrasound (12 weeks) and all of my monthly checkups. There is no question DH will be in the room for the next ultrasound too, when we get to find out the baby's sex. I couldn't imagine anyone telling me otherwise, and I know my husband would be crushed if he couldn't come in. Seriously, how rude. This is not the 1950s; many dads want to be involved, and that's a good thing. They already miss out on a lot because they don't get to carry the baby. I would make such a stink, just saying.

allardr · February 2014

OMG not only is that stupid but the reasoning would be enough for me to switch hospitals! Docs should want questions and want you to feel educated & knowledgeable.

Insist or switch!

Tbags83 · February 2014

Wow I would be pissed. Why ask him to be there then? Ridiculous.

princessbumblebeee · February 2014

That's ridiculous and I've never heard of something like this before! Give them a piece of your mind and either switch places or force him in!

ksuRN09 · February 2014

I'm glad I'm not the only one appalled by this.

I would totally switch hospitals if I could. I've been less than pleased with the OB care. I love my dr but that's where the love ends. However, I work in a hospital and the insurance only covers our hospital. It really sucks that I don't have options.

bgoodbpar · February 2014

Fight for it. I've never heard of such a thing. Especially given their reasoning for it. BS.

AnotherPreggo · February 2014

My friend in BC said her husband is not allowed in the room until the last 5 minutes. DH was allowed with me here in MA... and didn't ask any questions haha.

ETA: Oh, and to answer your question. I would insist... but I don't think it would get you anywhere. Seems like it is just their policy, which they can't budge on.

flmomof4 · February 2014

That's BS. It's his baby too and you should have his support. And if he has questions, it's their job to answer them. I would fight this all day long and go somewhere else if they don't budge. Will he be allowed in the room during labor? So insane.

Littlebean312 · February 2014

My local hospital dosnt let fathers in till the A/S at 20 weeks that's it... So I called around till I found one place that let's him in for all U/S.. Maybe try calling other places and seeing what they allow.

Myanswer true · February 2014

I would raise hell, personally. And look for other alternatives.

Artistmom30 · February 2014

I would insist on him being in there. It's his baby too!

drunkenhandstand · February 2014

That's crazy!! Be a PITA or find another place!! I've never even heard of that before!!

Ylvelill · February 2014

That is ridiculous! Put your foot down

kmawb · February 2014

Total BS! Your DH has every right to be in there with you. Maybe offer to muzzle him so he can't possibly ask any questions

shamyfowler · February 2014

Wow. I have never heard of such a thing. Does your doctor know about this policy? I would definitely make your feelings known. I couldn't imagine DH not being there. As everyone else said it's just as much his baby. He should have every right to be there and ask any questions. That's just ridiculous. Good luck!

AMcLaws · February 2014

Absolutely be a PITA!!!! I've never heard of such a silly thing!!!

That reminds me of a nurse i had with DD who insisted that my husband leave the room while she checked my cervix. She literally said "I have to expose her, so if you could step outside for a moment...." I responded, "lady, how do you think this baby GOT here????"

shanaynerz · February 2014

At all of my ultrasounds, except the NT scan with my MFM, DH has never been allowed in the room until after and then he can see the pictures and stuff. As far as I know, no one being in the room is totally normal.

ETA: I'm in BC, but DH always attended the A/S, he just waited in the waiting room. Do not actually go alone, it's important he's there even after the scan is done. For my A/S this time, DH may not be able to come b/c of work, but my parents will come with and bring/watch DD for me.

bewilderingstar · February 2014

Demand that he be there. No if's, and's or but's!

cookiemomma14 · February 2014

That sounds sexist. I would be a PITA. If questions is their reasoning then that is poor business practice as well, since patients and especially soon to be parents should be educated.

abunai523 · February 2014

That's BS. If I were you I'd be making a stink about it.

AmericanInOz · February 2014

That's ridiculous, I'd go somewhere else for the scan

Ecomom17 · February 2014

WTF? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard that it's because dads ask too many questions. IMHO, a health care professional must be terrible at his/her job if he doesn't want patients to ask questions.

I would pretty much tell them there's no way they're giving me the AS without DH being in there. And if they won't bend, have your Dr. refer you to a different lab. That is just nuts.

acciovino · February 2014

MH has been in the room for each US and will be at our A/S as well. That is complete and utter BS. It's his child as well.

TurtleMonsters · February 2014

You should fight it, or let them know you'll go elsewhere.
I personally wouldn't pay for a second, nor would I be comfortable having two. I'm not researched on the effects of US on baby, but I wouldn't allow them to force me/baby to have 2 exposures just so DH could be present. Even not being in the room is silly, IMO, he should be there...but I could maybe-sort-of-not-really understand if they had some sort of rule like that for a better reason then they ask too many questions. when places like that give assy reasons for things, that don't make sense, I find alternatives.

[Deleted User] · February 2014

This is absurd. My husband has been to every appointment. Hell, he's even been some some of my gyno appointments before I got pregnant because I have anxiety and I was going because of irregular periods etc. I've never been told that he couldn't be in the room. I'd demand it whether I look like a bitch or not- it's your body, your health, your baby- there should be no reason he can't be in there.

tourqeyes · February 2014

ksuRN09 said:
The reasoning is bc dads ask too many questions.

This doesn't sound right, very bizarre. There has to be something else beyond this.

Ecomom17 · February 2014

It's so odd to me how different various places seem to be in their rules and practices.

All these scenarios where you don't even hear any of the results during the actual scan are just foreign to me, but I know every place is different although you'd think they'd have the same rules at least by state. The place I go for the A/S this time is the same place I went last time, and I was with a different doctor/practice. The facility is its own medical group, so maybe that has a lot to do with it? The guy who did my NT and AS last time was a doctor and he went over his findings right then and there and DH was there. Even for the 6 wk. u/s done in my clinic, the tech told me the pertinent info during the u/s.

And to reiterate what I and some others have said, it seems really odd that they wouldn't allow a patient to have someone accompany her. Aren't you legally guaranteed the right to have a representative/proxy or something like that with you if you choose?

snysilver · February 2014

Between this pregnancy & my last one, I've been to 4 different imaging places (3 that were doc recommended & 1 elective). Of all of them, just 1 of those wouldn't let DH in during the imaging, and like PP said, he had to wait outside, I couldn't see the screen, and when they were all done he was allowed to come in & we could see the screen together. Since I have plenty of options available to me here, we definitely won't be going back to that location unless there is some kind of emergency. Every other place let him stay with me, & we watched the screen as the u/s was performed.
It couldn't hurt to just call your doc & see if they can refer you to another location. Also, possibly call the imaging place again and ask them to clarify their policy. Do they not allow any guests in the room, or are the specifically banning husbands? If it's just husbands, I would probably raise a little hell. Or just show up & tell them he's my brother.

AllisonLaurenn · February 2014

Dumb! Fight for your right to have your DH in the room

Mrs.DeRuysscher · February 2014

our hospital has it where i go in first and she gets all the pictures she needs to then then go and bring the fathers in.

Ylvelill · February 2014

I am so glad the tech at my ob lets me see everything while she is taking the pics, and I get to ask tons of questions. She can't answer a lot if them, but she points out what she is looking at

my husband hadn't been to this office yet but will be at the anatomy scan.

Shelleybell · February 2014

This is ridiculous -be a huge pita

RKSnyder · February 2014

I was fertility and when we tried IUI, my husband actually pressed the thingy (turkey baster is the only way to explain this... Haha) to inject the sperm. My doctor was so accommodating and I feel that it has made this experience so significant to my husband. He isn't carrying the baby (duh) and he can't feel any kicks yet so these moments of seeing his child on the screen help him connect.

lauralynn710 · February 2014

I would be upset!! It's his baby too! Not only that but what is wrong with asking questions? If daddy has concerns, they should address then. He is in this too!

KSOleksiak · February 2014

My hospital also has the policy that the father (or anyone) cannot be in the room during the screening. They do it first and it's all businesslike. Then, when they are done, they called him back and we were allowed to ooh and ahh (and ask all the questions we wanted) for as long as we wanted. I didn't feel rushed or anything.

I would double check and see it this is what they were talking about or if he is not to be there at any time.

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