July 2014 Moms

I won

The name battle with DH. I had my heart set on my names and I guess he's realized I'm not actually going to budge so he's already caved. We spent a good 30 weeks with the same thing happening when we were naming DD so I guess that's why he's already thrown in the towel.

Are you set on your names no matter what your partner says or are you more open to suggestions? FWIW, I do try to give his names a shot we just have totally different styles.
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Re: I won

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  • We picked names together also. If we don't both like it, it's out
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  • We picked the names together, any I vetoed was out any he vetoed was out. It's his child too.

    Um, this.
    Yep.

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  • Wow... I don't really get forcing my DH to cave on "my" names.  It is his kid too!  I don't think I'd feel proud of "winning" by making DH agree to a name he hates for our child.  I totally think the both-parties-have-veto-power is the way to go. 

    In our case, DH told me the names he liked and I liked them too... I guess we were really lucky (or not super picky?) because picking names was the easiest thing ever for us.  
    Pretty much the same story for us, we both really liked certain names and it ended up being super easy.  Somehow I feel like I could never name DH's child something he didn't love also.
  • He's set on a boy name I'm not crazy about, but since I have yet to come up with an alternative we both like, it's Jackson for now. For girls, I've had two I've been stuck on since I was little and luckily DH likes both. I mean, I get wanting to win with your names but I can't imagine forcing him to accept a name he HATES. Does your H at least *like* the names you're stuck on? ;)


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  • We agreed on boy names, but not a single girl name. DH likes really really old fashioned girl names (Sara, Mary, Elizabeth, etc).  Finally, I told DH that I'm not budging on Kara and he can pick the middle name. He was fine with it then. So, we ended up with Kara Elise :)
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  • We picked the names together, any I vetoed was out any he vetoed was out. It's his child too.
    Um, this.
    Yup.
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  • SO isn't picky like I am. He vetoed my favorite girl name (same name as a serious ex), but has said yes to everything else. He has seen how miserable I have been and told me the least he can do is be amenable to the names I like as long as there isnt a personal reason to dislike them. I wouldn't pick a name I knew he hated, however.

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  • We're picking together. I wouldn't be happy if I knew DH didn't like the name. I want him to like whatever we choose as much as I do.
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  • We're waiting until after the A/S to really start thinking but we've thrown out ideas. I already know names I LOVE won't be used because he doesn't love them as well (for a boy more than a girl) so we'll end up compromising on something.
  • We both settled on a name for DS. It was hard because my husband isn't too helpful with suggestions. It was always something strange because he wouldn't take it seriously or the name of one of our immediate family members when he would suggest something. All of our name options were my suggestions, but we agreed on one.

    I'm not ready to start this discussion/argument with this one yet. DH needs to come up with some realistic suggestions this time. I also work in a school, so some names are definitely off limits for me. DH just doesn't understand that at all and thinks I'm ridiculous. Babies should just come with names.


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  • My DH isn't really into naming.  I had asked if he had ever thought about it and he said, "No, not really.  I might have had a name or two, but I don't remember now."  

    Besides he really likes the naming pattern I have going and thinks it'll be a nice tradition of naming to start.  If I came up with a name and he made a face or outright said, "no" to 'em, obviously I wouldn't use them.  He's more interested in how he can turn a name and make it pickable (ie-kids making fun of their name)

    But the short answer is, yes!  I have names picked out already, but the girl's middle name is flexible.  
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  • I don't really agree that this decision should be a "win/lose" one. It sounds kind of selfish, really. It's your husbands child too and I would like to think you could both find some middle ground and go from there. I could never name my child something that my husband didn't like. We picked our names out together. Just my two cents.
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  • I didn't turn it into a competition. I never said I wouldn't budge to him and I give him a list of names that I find acceptable (that's not short it's like 75 names for each sex.) I tell him my favorite and I give his names a shot. He gives in when he decides He doesn't want to discuss it anymore. After he decides that he's done. When I say well' do you like this name? He just says no we are naming the baby this. He's just already over it this time. But I'm not sure whether or not likes the girls name' because he's one of those people who one day says he likes something but by the next day he already changed his mind. I know he likes the boys name because he's never even tried to suggest a different name.
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  • I don't understand this thought process. I had a girl name picked out before we were even KU (my grandmothers name) that DH knew I wanted to use and was fine with it. I don't care if it's the first or middle name. It took us weeks but we agreed on a name that goes well with it. Other than that 1 instance I can't imagine putting my foot down for something like that. We should both love our kids name.

    The name battle with DH. I had my heart set on my names and I guess he's realized I'm not actually going to budge so he's already caved. We spent a good 30 weeks with the same thing happening when we were naming DD so I guess that's why he's already thrown in the towel.





    Are you set on your names no matter what your partner says or are you more open to suggestions? FWIW, I do try to give his names a shot we just have totally different styles.

  • We have totally different taste on girls' names, so we have shelved the discussion until we find out the sex.  We do have 3 boys names that we both love already.  As much as I want to just override my husband's opinion, I would feel awful if he didn't love the name of his child.  We both have to love it, no matter how much I love a name that he vetoes.  
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  • We decided names together. I had veto power and so did he. I suggested some names and so did he. We both let our preferences be known and we found names we both liked.
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  • I didn't turn it into a competition. I never said I wouldn't budge to him and I give him a list of names that I find acceptable (that's not short it's like 75 names for each sex.) I tell him my favorite and I give his names a shot. He gives in when he decides He doesn't want to discuss it anymore. After he decides that he's done. When I say well' do you like this name? He just says no we are naming the baby this. He's just already over it this time. But I'm not sure whether or not likes the girls name' because he's one of those people who one day says he likes something but by the next day he already changed his mind. I know he likes the boys name because he's never even tried to suggest a different name.
    In your original post you said " I'm not actually going to budge so he's already caved", that doesn't sound like "giving his names a shot." And honestly if my husband had a list of names that I hated but refused to even entertain the thought of picking a different name then I'd be over it too. Why don't you go to a baby naming website or get a name book and pick some names out together? Instead of saying here is my list find one you like cause I'm not willing to compromise.

    When I said I'm not going to budge I didn't mean it was this name or nothing I meant that I wasn't going to cave and name the kid Annabelle or Daisy or any of those totally NMS names that's ere in his list. I can see where I sounded like a stubborn bitch in the OP He gave me his list too. After we went through 2 baby books. I had thought we were going with Quinn (the only name that overlapped) and trying to find a middle name that I agreed with, but then he was just like no if it's a girl we'll just name her your original choice after I refused to give in on not naming a girl Harley Quinn and we kept thinking more traditional names sound like we were saying Queen whatever.
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  • Maybe I'm a big weirdo, but if we both don't get the same vibe from a name, it's gone.  I don't want to have to convince my partner to love our child's name.

    This. And it goes both ways. I didn't like his suggestion of "clarabelle" and he didn't like my suggestion of "molly" so they're both out (girls names are haaaaaard!). It'll make things easy if we have a boy cuz we're both totally in love with our boy name. I can't imagine a decision as big as this not compromising and coming to a decision together. But at least you won, right?

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  • We picked the names together, any I vetoed was out any he vetoed was out. It's his child too.
    Um, this.
    Yup.

    +1

    We either both love it or it doesn't get chosen.


        




     

  • Babybambi said:
    Harley Quinn is the name of Batmans psychotic villain......awkward.
    Yup, I read Harley Quinn and I think this…
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    DH is a batman freak. He knows.
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  • aliletz said:
    Harley Quinn makes me think of Harlequin romance novels..

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    Oh, that's even worse.
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  • S/O and I have to agree on a name, it's his child too. He has a boy name picked out, and I like it, I just don't love it. Maybe it'll grow on me, maybe we will pick something else. I'm not too worried about it right now, we have plenty of time.

    We both love a girl name right now, we're just throwing around mn's with it.

    But, I've nixed some of his other names and he's done the same with me. Louisa and Edith are two of my favorite names, but he hates both of them. It sucks, but theres thousands of other names we can look at.

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  • edited January 2014
    ETA quote fail. This is in response to BPAWS last comment:

    I also agree with this. Like DS is William and DH came up with that ( he has always loved it), however he wanted the nn Billy. I said "William is fine, but howabout Will as the nn?" Boom. Done.

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  • Baby girl is probably going to be Morgan Brielle. It's a total compromise. He vetoed my favorite (Maren), I vetoed his (Madison). I don't love her middle name, but DH does. We both reserve the right to change our minds until we have to name her.

    But your idea of compromise seems right on.


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  • I can't imagine naming my child something that I felt DH did not entirely like (I wouldn't want him to feel like he is settling). I would hope he would feel the same for me.

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