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Baby Wise

RoseVARoseVA member
in December 2013 Moms
Is anyone using the recommendations from the book Baby Wise regarding eating and sleeping patterns? I'm just reading it now, it came strongly recommended. Just curious of your experiences!
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Re: Baby Wise

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  • SarahDavis83SarahDavis83 member
    Glad to read these responses. Someone just recommended this book to me and followed that up with telling me I have to be able to let him CIO. Put a bad taste in my mouth...

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  • KelseyKetchumKelseyKetchum member
    I've read it and I actually like it. As far as the CIO it only suggest minimual periods no longer than 15 mins and that is only when you have tried everything else. But I like the idea of eat play sleep. It also gave me a good idea of how often baby eats and what a schedule could look like for each age. But like any book take it all with a grain of salt and common sense.
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  • BoothBabyBoothBaby member
    Baby Wise has been linked with failure to thrive, so it is generally not recommended. However like PP said, if you are capable of ignoring the bad parts (putting baby on a strict schedule), it does have some helpful info.
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  • RoseVARoseVA member
    Wow... Glad I asked! I had no idea it was disapproved by the AAP! I'm happy I barely got into it. I think I'll just disregard it.
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  • edenkeeveredenkeever member
    edited January 2014
    Tried it with my first two kids...did not work for either one. Needless to say, I'll be skipping it this time around. I do know people that it worked for though--just don't get frustrated if you wind up in my boat where it's concerned.

    ETA: I never let my kids CIO this young. A newborn should never ever be left crying.
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  • bubblesmtububblesmtu member
    I received the book as a baby shower gift- haven't cracked it open yet and now may not at all. I thought babywise was for older babies anyway? Does it say to start it on newborns, cause I don't know how that's possible?
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  • thesportsgalthesportsgal member
    There are plenty of books that can help with a baby schedule that haven't been written by an evangelical nut job (ie, NOT A DOCTOR) and also plenty of books that haven't had to be RE-written to include the warnings that were issued by the AAP.

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  • dbucksdbucks member
    Chillpr said:

    This is probably a stupid (or super late) question since it's been mentioned so many times:

    What is failure to thrive?

    I didn't know either, so I Googled. Looks like it's when babies are underweight / not gaining enough.

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  • lollipoppooplollipoppoop member
    I can't even tell you how many people tell me to let my 4 week old CIO it's so disturbing
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  • KelseyKetchumKelseyKetchum member
    To each their own. I'm old school and while I do let LO CIO on occasion it is only when I've done everything including hold and/or rock and/or walk him and the crying doesn't end. After about 5-10 mins swaddled in the bassinet I come back and redo everything and it helps because I've been able to walk away and breath and then come back non frustrated. Also LO tends to calm down after he CIO for a few minutes.
    As for babywise scheduling its more guidelines than rules and it helped me see what can be expected but by no means do I starve LO. In fact during his growth spurt this last week he was on my boob so much I went braless it was just easier.
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  • KelseyKetchumKelseyKetchum member
    pirategirlpink said:


    KelseyKetchum said:

    To each their own. I'm old school and while I do let LO CIO on occasion it is only when I've done everything including hold and/or rock and/or walk him and the crying doesn't end. After about 5-10 mins swaddled in the bassinet I come back and redo everything and it helps because I've been able to walk away and breath and then come back non frustrated. Also LO tends to calm down after he CIO for a few minutes.
    As for babywise scheduling its more guidelines than rules and it helped me see what can be expected but by no means do I starve LO. In fact during his growth spurt this last week he was on my boob so much I went braless it was just easier.

    How are you "old school'? You're like 22 or something right?


    25 but I don't mean I'm old I mean I hold to old school philosophies not all of them. My brain isn't explaining this well sorry. Had about 3 hrs of sleep last night.... Hope that made sense :/
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  • KelseyKetchumKelseyKetchum member
    KFED103 said:

    I'm seriously confused as to what everyone's definition of CIO is. If you have seriously tried everything under the sun to try and calm your baby...including offering or giving a feeding...and you walk away for 5 minutes to compose yourself because you are at your wits end, that is not the correct definition and is not what everyone gets upset at. CIO is also NOT when you are letting your baby cry if you are trying to take care of an older child. Making them lunch, putting down for a nap, etc.

    To me CIO is an intentional strategy in which you are assuming your baby is just crying for crying sake and should be trained to calm themselves down if in your perception they truly have no "needs". Correct me if I'm wrong people.

    The first I have no problem with but the second is just cruel for a newborn. I'm just rambling my thoughts on the matter.

    I like your rambling thoughts.
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  • Yankees0623Yankees0623 member
    I agree with @KFED103 definition of CIO
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  • KelseyKetchumKelseyKetchum member
    KateMW said:

    If it happens every once in awhile, I understand, but using it every night even if it's only for 5-10 minutes is CIO.

    Not every night for sure. If he was inconsolable every night or even every other night I would be concerned there was a health issue/gas/etc.
    KFED103 said:

    KelseyKetchum said:

    KFED103 said:

    I'm seriously confused as to what everyone's definition of CIO is. If you have seriously tried everything under the sun to try and calm your baby...including offering or giving a feeding...and you walk away for 5 minutes to compose yourself because you are at your wits end, that is not the correct definition and is not what everyone gets upset at. CIO is also NOT when you are letting your baby cry if you are trying to take care of an older child. Making them lunch, putting down for a nap, etc.

    To me CIO is an intentional strategy in which you are assuming your baby is just crying for crying sake and should be trained to calm themselves down if in your perception they truly have no "needs". Correct me if I'm wrong people.

    The first I have no problem with but the second is just cruel for a newborn. I'm just rambling my thoughts on the matter.

    I like your rambling thoughts.
    I just wasn't sure you share this definition, especially if you are under the impression that the crying calmed your baby. That's kinda scary to think
    I agree with your definition but I've been told it counts as CIO because it is my last ditch effort to calm LO and myself. I don't agree he is shutting down because he doesn't pas
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  • KelseyKetchumKelseyKetchum member
    edited January 2014
    pass out asleep he tends to just relax. True scenario the other night after he CIO for 7 mins I picked him up went to the glider with him in my chest and he lifted his head and I talked to him and he was relaxed. He fell asleep about 10 mins later. That doesn't seem like shutting down (which I have seen after shots with kids).
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  • thesportsgalthesportsgal member
    Another Groundhog Day here on December '13 with the CIO crap that we try and help people with but it never seems to work.

    We're not talking about what KFed said...yes, babies do cry but a general fussiness and/or crying out of need is normal. Seven minutes of crying it out is BULL SHIT and I really can't believe you let your baby do it. Whatever, some people just will never get it.

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  • lollipoppooplollipoppoop member
    5-10 min is a long time. I hate listening to her cry while I make a bottle I couldn't imagine walking away for 5-10 min
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  • babymonster30babymonster30 member
    HollisW12 said:
    So question about all this. I for sure do not agree with CIO and do everything for my little boo when he cries. However, he gets so mad being in his car seat and cries a lot. Should we stop the car if we are not on a strict timeline and take him out or just let him cry until we teach where we are going if it is close? I have done both depending on how upset he is but I can't stand the thought of him crying and calming down because he have up on me being there for him...breaks my freakin heart :(
    We have this exact same problem.  We live somewhat away from things,  and lo usually starts screaming on the highway.  I end up crying until df can find a place to pull over so I can calm him down. It's miserable.  
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  • babymonster30babymonster30 member
    Yezbick9 said:
    The other night baby girl was completely out of sorts, and our sweet little cuddler didn't even want to be touched. She still cried when we put her down, but it was full on hysterics if we held her. Five. Hours. It was awful. I was completely wrecked and was convinced it was the onset of autism right before our very eyes. And I'm not much of a worrier. Worst night in recent memory, and certainly since she's been born. I can't imagine listening to something so pitiful and not doing something. But people do sometimes, for far longer than seven minutes.
    Hugs... I hate that helpless feeling.  :(
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  • Marchmellow2Marchmellow2 member
    edited January 2014
    HollisW12 said:

    So question about all this. I for sure do not agree with CIO and do everything for my little boo when he cries. However, he gets so mad being in his car seat and cries a lot. Should we stop the car if we are not on a strict timeline and take him out or just let him cry until we teach where we are going if it is close? I have done both depending on how upset he is but I can't stand the thought of him crying and calming down because he have up on me being there for him...breaks my freakin heart :(

    Definitely stop the car and get him out of the seat and calm him. That's all he needs. When you put him back in his car seat try opening the window a crack and covering him with a breathable blanket. Try different things. He will grow out of it soon I'm sure. My LO hates the car too and I think I finally figured it out. #1 I must hold him and calm him first. Then I open the window and play music. I think this is my cure.

    ETA: As for the CIO bullshit..please people! Your child is way to young to be CIO!! Come on!! All your lo needs is comfort and love ffs

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  • lollipoppooplollipoppoop member
    I have a mirror that lights up and plays music it's pretty ridiculous but it always seems to calm her down.
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  • musicnmoon123musicnmoon123 member
    HollisW12 said:

    HollisW12 said:

    So question about all this. I for sure do not agree with CIO and do everything for my little boo when he cries. However, he gets so mad being in his car seat and cries a lot. Should we stop the car if we are not on a strict timeline and take him out or just let him cry until we teach where we are going if it is close? I have done both depending on how upset he is but I can't stand the thought of him crying and calming down because he have up on me being there for him...breaks my freakin heart :(

    ETA: I am legit asking for opinions on what to do, not raising it as a topic for debate or anything.
    DS1 hated the car, but loved white noise. We would tune the radio to a dead air station and crank it loud enough so he could hear it over his screams.

    He also loved being swaddled. I often sat in the back seat next to him and held his hands. It simulated a swaddle. (I didn't know swaddlemes could be used in a car seat then, I might have given it a try).

    Car rides were hard. I feel for you.
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  • Nshoults12Nshoults12 member
    I read it with DD and some parts are great others not so much. But the schedule of eat play sleep is the brst thing to start your baby will be on schedule wuth you and will understand what is coming next and be much more laid back. With DS now I have already started eat play sleep and he is doing great with it. It is not bsd to let a baby CIO if you have tried EVERYTHING sometimes babies are ivrrly tired and they need to learn how to self sooth. I would let DD CIO and she is prefectly fine and puts her self to sleep very easily snd quickly.
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  • Lyzza350Lyzza350 member
    SweetSouthernMomma08 said:

    @KelseyKetchum said:

    pass out asleep he tends to just relax. True scenario the other night after he CIO for 7 mins I picked him up went to the glider with him in my chest and he lifted his head and I talked to him and he was relaxed. He fell asleep about 10 mins later. That doesn't seem like shutting down (which I have seen after shots with kids).

    Seriously...he isn't relaxing. He's giving up hope that someone is going to care for him. Then you pick him up and give him attention. Of course he's going to cuddle and behave. You are finally meeting his needs. Essentially he is reacting like a neglected child. Absorbing any bit of love and attention they do receive. "Acting out" until someone shows him some love or he gives up hope of being loved.
    Please. For all that is good. Just love and cuddle your child. He is way too young to be "trained" or to be "manipulating". He just needs to be held.
    True story. A friend of mine was holding DS. He started crying. He wouldn't stop. Dh took him. He kept crying. I take him and he stops and falls asleep. He just needed his mom. Your son is no different. He needs cuddles from his mom.
    This just made me so sad. Seriously no baby should feel this way.
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  • blainethetrainblainethetrain member
    Yezbick9 said:

    Yes.

    Thoughts on when you'll be integrating them instead of the other way around? It's just understood at the moment that baby girl kind of sets the schedule, and frankly I hate that for the boys who we struggle to include like they're used to. Tough balancing act.

    I think in our house it was at about 1.5-2 when DS's language was developed enough that he could respond to choices that he was given. DH and I stick to a loose version of love and logic and it works pretty well for us.
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  • edenkeeveredenkeever member
    I start scheduling my kids officially by 8 months or so. But that's also because I have a gaggle of them now. When you have multiple children you schedule them younger because the household is already on one. That said, we let my oldest fall into his own schedule and then stuck with it...but it was definitely before a year old. I can't imagine trying to begin scheduling a two year old...that would be rough.
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  • Nshoults12Nshoults12 member
    My dd is almost four and I did not let her cio with out first trying everything. And if nothing works then I had to walk away. Or if she was just fussying I did not pick up right away like most mothers doni can not hold my child for 24hrs in a day. And in no way does letting a baby cry hurt them at all. Sorry didn't know yall were experts on how everyone else should raise their child!
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  • Nshoults12Nshoults12 member
    edited January 2014
    And to add I would NEVER start CIO at this age. With DD not until about 5-6 months and DS probably same age I like my children to self sooth. I have seen to many children not be able to.

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  • Nshoults12Nshoults12 member
    Cashingn2 said:

    Nshoults12 said:

    My dd is almost four and I did not let her cio with out first trying everything. And if nothing works then I had to walk away. Or if she was just fussying did not pick up right away like most mothers doni can not hold my child for 24hrs in a day. And in no way does letting a baby cry hurt them at all. Sorry didn't know yall were experts on how everyone else should raise their child!

    Again, that's not CIO. I think people are really confused by the definition. AmyG explained it perfectly.
    Maybe not to you but to many that's what they mean and how I define it.
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