Hey everyone! I am a FTM. My son was born at 32 weeks and had a 2 week NICU stay. He is healthy now for the most part just issues with GERD and milk protein allergy. I go back to work on February 3rd and I am absolutely dreading it. I have already cried and cried and cried. He will be staying with my sister Monday-Thursday and with my mom on Fridays. I work at a bank so I have set hours and don't work nights but I just hate to leave him. After the whole experience of him being early and going through the NICU I don't want him out of my sight. I just feel like as his mom I should be the one taking care of him everyday. I have this huge guilty feeling for leaving him. I'm scared he will forget me or not bond with me as well since I won't always be with him. But staying at home just isn't an option right now for me and DH. Any positive encouraging words would be greatly appreciated!
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Before you go back I'd recommend a couple of afternoons or mornings to go shopping and get some new work clothes, get your hair cut/colored, get a mani/pedi, get a massage - basically do something nice for yourself. It will help you get out of "new mommy" mode and back into "kickass career woman" mode.
I know you're going back on a Monday, but the advice I got and am glad I followed was to go back in the middle of the week. My first two days back were a Thursday and Friday, and I only worked half days. It made for a nice transition and didn't seem quite so daunting.
And don't worry about the bonding issue. My son spends the day with my mom and it is a wonderful arrangement, but I have never once doubted that he is the most bonded to my husband and me.
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It doesn't matter if you can't be there for him 24 hours a day. Everything you do is in the best interest of your son. Working however many hours a day doesn't make you less of a mother to him.
Everyone else said this - but you just make the most of the time you have with him, as fully engaged as you can be.
Ditto what people said above about pushing off chores until after he is asleep. You may have done some kangaroo care while in the NICU. It certainly something that you can keep up doing when you get home whether it's 20 or 30 minutes of your daily quiet time together and it will be great for him too.