July 2014 Moms

Call this baby a boy one more time!

First, you need to read that in the voice of the ghost writer that they call in from the movie Elf: "Call me elf one more time!"

Ok now that that's out of the way...

My family is driving me insane. I've basically put my foot down that this is our last child. I don't know that I can physically do this a third time. In the words of my OB, "I'm just not built for having babies!" My DH is in total agreement. He has said numerous times that he would be fine with two girls. However the rest of our family cannot get on board.

My MIL is driving me insane. She constantly calls the baby he or by the boy's name we have picked out. She even comes up and pats my belly and says "Now little Harry, you be nice to your momma!". She wants a boy so badly. She's even said she would be a little sad if it's not a boy. She passed this off because DH is the last in his family so the family name would die with him. BS. Still not a good enough reason to be sad that you have a new grandbaby no matter what is between his/her legs. With DD we found out the sex of the baby and even though we were having a girl she bought her a ton of clearly boy stuff and tried to pass it off as gender neutral. I completely don't care about her wearing boy stuff (ie she is OBSESSED with dinosaurs and has a ton of boy shirts and pjs as a result), but I refused to let her wear the stuff my MIL bought on principle.

I've told both my mom and my dad that I really and truly don't care I just want a healthy baby. It would be awesome to have another girl because I love being a girl mom! It would be awesome to have both and experience both and for Evie to have a brother. I grew up with a little brother and I loved it (still love him obviously). They both look at me and say, "But you HOPE it's a boy, right?!" No. I hope it's healthy. Then they both talk like it's for sure a boy. Like my dad found a toy tool set and he was said, "Oh this would be perfect for little Harry!" What if it's not a boy? What about your granddaughter who would LOVE a toy tool set?

Grrr. Thanks for letting me vent!

 

Re: Call this baby a boy one more time!

  • These are the same people that are upset they have to wait half an hour after delivery to find out the sex, right (I'm finding it very hard to get to know peoples' stories on this huge, horrible baby board)??

    These folks need to get over themselves.  If they're so worried about the family name being carried on, tell them they could be "lucky" and one of your daughters could just decide to use her maiden name.  Just sayin.  ;)
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  • My mom refuses to acknowledge the fact it could be a boy.
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  • alyssa719 said:
    These are the same people that are upset they have to wait half an hour after delivery to find out the sex, right (I'm finding it very hard to get to know peoples' stories on this huge, horrible baby board)??

    These folks need to get over themselves.  If they're so worried about the family name being carried on, tell them they could be "lucky" and one of your daughters could just decide to use her maiden name.  Just sayin.  ;)


    One and the same and they aren't horrible really. I adore my parents and ILs, but this whole girl vs boy thing is making me insane.

    My DH is an only so my MIL wants a boy bc she loved her boy so much, and my parents want a boy because they had a girl then a boy and loved it. It's like they can't fathom loving having two girls.

    My FIL, bless him, is just in love with the idea of having another grandbaby. I adore that man!

  • alyssa719 said:

    These folks need to get over themselves.  If they're so worried about the family name being carried on, tell them they could be "lucky" and one of your daughters could just decide to use her maiden name.  Just sayin.  ;)
    My grandmother was one of three girls, so the maiden name "died" with them.  Until my grandmother's sister's son (got that?) decided to take his mother's maiden name when he was an adult to continue the line.  Just because someone has all girls doesn't mean a family name will necessarily end there.

    Also, what a pain in the ass about your family.  My brother asked me to "focus on having a boy" so that his wife could have the first granddaughter (she's due in May).  It's a good thing he said this over the phone to me because I'm pretty sure the look on my face would have melted him.  As it is, they have had their A/S since then and found out they are having a girl, so I guess it doesn't matter now what I'm having?
  • I think I'm just not on board with why it means so much to some people - I mean, I get it, it's a last name and whatnot... but is that really more important than the baby in general?!
  • SkeemerSkeemer member
    edited January 2014

    **Prior loss mentioned**

    This infuriates me to no end & I'm so very sorry you're having to deal with it.

    We had a MC in August '13 & I'm now pregnant again. We have a son (2 yrs old) who is totally awesome. People keep saying to me now how we NEED a girl. You know what?! We do not NEED a girl. We need whatever child God gives us & we will be so grateful. If I have 4 boys I'm grateful & if I have 4 girls I'd be grateful.

    "Still not a good enough reason to be sad that you have a new grandbaby no matter what is between his/her legs."

    ^This. This is absolutely perfect in every way. If this child is a boy then it will be special & unique & wonderful. If it's a girl we will have lots of new adventures. So everyone else can shut their pie holes about what we "need". 

    ETA: Clarity


        




     

  • grrr i am sorry you have to deal with that! i would do the same, only i would go Rican from el barrio on their ass and give them a piece of my mind. if you have YAY if your haven't, i admire your self control!

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  • I'm in the same boat
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  • Ugh that is so frustrating! I feel your pain. My sister is like that. She went with me to my dr appt today and blatantly asked the doctor if "we" could exchange it for a girl if it turned out to be a boy. I'm pretty sure if we find out it's a boy next month, she will still call him by our girl's name until he comes out because that's how she is.
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  • I would get snarky with them by now. I have no patience anymore for the nonsense that spews out of peoples mouths when you are pregnant.

    "Your truth is different from my truth, and we're both right."

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  • tealowl said:
    RichLab said:
    grrr i am sorry you have to deal with that! i would do the same, only i would go Rican from el barrio on their ass and give them a piece of my mind. if you have YAY if your haven't, i admire your self control!

    I'm very Caucasian, but I'm stealing this saying.

    there is an accent, hand and head movement that goes with it...looks a lot like this :-)
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJDta8WyciE

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  • My sister told me that she would love my baby 20% less if it's a boy. She's 20. I ignored her.
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  • Just look at them straight in their face the next time they make a little "joke" and say, "I can't believe you would say that. Why would you talk like that about an innocent, unborn child?" Usually the fact that you are looking straight at them and are direct will make them pretty ashamed of themselves.
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  • My mil was deathly sick with both of her boy pregnancies and my mom was never sick with two girls. My mil said "well let's just hope it's not true you're not as sick with girls" when I told her I have no morning sickness. Um, what? ?

    She's normally pretty cool but I was irked about that comment.
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  • Are your in laws my in laws? They basically have demanded a boy (like we have a choice), and have expressed multiple times how much less they enjoy girls... It stresses me out! It's your very first grand baby, just be happy and keep your weird opinions to yourself!
  • honeybee434honeybee434 member
    edited January 2014

    I'm in a similar boat with my FIL. He makes comments about how we're going to have a boy, and if it ends up being a girl he'll just focus on our 'next one' that we apparently are for sure having according to him. We are the last hope for the name to be carried on, too. We aren't sure if we want one kid or two kids, but everyone is going crazy hoping that it's a boy. DH's brother stopped with one girl, and suddenly it's on ME for his glorious grandson that has his last name. Sad part is DH's sister has 3 boys that for some reason aren't 'enough' because they have her married last name.

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  • My dad is like this. he REFUSES to even entertain the thought that the baby could be a boy. He said there was no need for an ultrasound because he could tell it was a girl. 

    I looked at him the last time he did this with total bitch face and said that i absolutely didn't want to hear another word about the sex of the baby.  He got the picture and hasn't brought it up since. 

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  • LenaLoveLenaLove member
    edited January 2014

    Sorry your family are being douchenozzles. 

    The only person who has expressed a desire for a certain sex is my DD.  She actually cried when we told her it might be a boy.  We had a talk and now she tells people "We don't know if it is a boy or a girl, God gets to decide.  But I want a sister." 

    However...she is 3, not a grown adult.  People need to check themselves.

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  • jensaviccijensavicci member
    edited January 2014
    Super duper late with this but I'm sorry you're dealing with this :( that's really sucky on their part. I wish I knew what to say to fix how parents behave sometimes but I don't. Hopefully, they'll love baby #2 regardless of his/her sex. At least we know you and DH will! Hugs!
  • sorry you're dealing with this >_<

    My in-laws and parents have been fine, but DH will not acknowledge the fact that our baby could be a girl. For him it's boy or bust, and it is driving me batshit insane. 
    I will probably cry if it's a girl just because I don't want him to be disappointed. And all I'm hoping for is a healthy baby.
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  • Wow, that's crazy. Our families don't care. I mean, his grandpa would like for it to be a boy, to carry on the name....but he would truly be happy with either. He adores my DD. I'm also so lucky to have the best in-laws ever.
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  • Wow, that's crazy. Our families don't care. I mean, his grandpa would like for it to be a boy, to carry on the name....but he would truly be happy with either. He adores my DD. I'm also so lucky to have the best in-laws ever.
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  • LenaLove said:

    Sorry your family are being douchenozzles. 

    The only person who has expressed a desire for a certain sex is my DD.  She actually cried when we told her it might be a boy.  We had a talk and now she tells people "We don't know if it is a boy or a girl, God gets to decide.  But I want a sister." 

    However...she is 3, not a grown adult.  People need to check themselves.

    My DD can't decide if she wants a brother or a sister, but she most definitely does NOT want a boy. She's almost three.

  • sorry you're dealing with this >_<

    My in-laws and parents have been fine, but DH will not acknowledge the fact that our baby could be a girl. For him it's boy or bust, and it is driving me batshit insane. 
    I will probably cry if it's a girl just because I don't want him to be disappointed. And all I'm hoping for is a healthy baby.
     
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    I am sorry! That's tough but he will love this child no matter what!

  • AMcLaws said:
    Wow, that's crazy. Our families don't care. I mean, his grandpa would like for it to be a boy, to carry on the name....but he would truly be happy with either. He adores my DD. I'm also so lucky to have the best in-laws ever.
    I have amazing parents and in laws too. I really do, it's just babies seem to bring out this weird side in them. I know they aren't being awful on purpose, but it makes me really scared that they won't love this baby if it's a girl, which brings out the raging momma bear in me!!! Especially since they have a gorgeous granddaghter and know how much fun she is!

  • OMG that is horrible.  They should be grateful about having another beautiful healthy baby.  My parents have 4 daughters (me being the oldest) and my madien name will end with my sisters (none of them are married yet).  My father was fine with this he ddint' care he always said as long as his children are healthy and happy that is all that mattered.  My mother's maiden name was over after my grandfather too so it is what is to those people who truly care about their "family name." 

    I would decorate my belly pink everytime I  see her if I were you LOL

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