Ok April14 (and everyone says we are the drama nuts)coming in!
@ladyabagail, I'm 21 so I get it, you're young and stupid, but you can't say stuff like that on a message board or any public place. Manners also come with being mature.
I'm hard to offend but I have multiple losses with my SO and was told at 15 by my doctor that I have a 10% of getting pregnant and she didn't think it would be wise with my medical condition. Here I am, with my doctors blessing, a baby due soon. It is a rough pregnancy but a miracle! Every baby is a miracle and you shouldn't feel like your SIL is stealing your thunder for it is a wonderful bonding time.
@ladyabagail - I'm going to go out on a limb and say your family is excited for your SIL because she has struggled for some time & deserves to celebrate her success. In your case they're probably not so excited because you are clearly too immature to be a parent. Oh and...go fuck yourself
1. Is that sparkling cider in your picture? 2. Perhaps people aren't as excited about your baby because you are 18 and just got married...not in any way dissing on young mommas but I am sure young mommas will agree it is hard to parent that young with only a hs diploma to help support you and maybe your family feels now was not the best time, planned or not.
Now was and is most definitely the right time. We were together for over 4 years before getting married. My husband works and will provide for us so that is not at all an issue. Our families were happy that we were getting married and happy that we are pregnant as well. Its not like I'm an umarried teen who doesn't know how the father is. We are married and starting our family. So thanks but you don't know what your talking about.
Now was and is most definitely the right time. We were together for over 4 years before getting married. My husband works and will provide for us so that is not at all an issue. Our families were happy that we were getting married and happy that we are pregnant as well. Its not like I'm an umarried teen who doesn't know how the father is. We are married and starting our family. So thanks but you don't know what your talking about.
OG A14 visiting NewA14. Ladies, really, well done today. I hope the youngin' takes the hint and doesn't come 'round here no more.
@ladyabagail, I'm a ten-year running youth mentor through our church and a pretty traditional gal. As someone who is traditional, and who knows and loves high schoolers, I have to say that today you've given both titles a bad name.
I know this won't change your mind, you know far more than we do as an 18 year old newlywed. And I know you'll have lots of people back home to help you lick your wounds and tell you how right you are in your damaged beliefs (because ignorance never exists in a vacuum, it's carefully cultivated and sheltered and nurtured over time) and soothe you over all the meanies on the internet.
But I will say as one who has worked with teenagers for years, you may want to watch your self-justification as to how much of a grown woman you are. Children have to protest that they're really adults; the immature have to use marital status as their pass to be taken seriously. People who actually are adults, and are mature don't have to point it out. It goes without saying because maturity is as obvious to the world as you are obvious proof that you really should have to pass some kind of test in order to be a parent.
I married my first love, and by all accounts have done everything in our marriage "the right way." But I've never been so judgmental, high-minded, spoiled, or sheltered enough to think that my way was the only right way to do things. There's too much good in the world, and far too much love for there to be only one way to find happiness. And I take great comfort in the fact that your narrow-mindedness will likely not affect your sister-in-law to any great extent - because she will be too busy celebrating her little miracle with all your family members who can see her baby for the joy that it is - while it will continue to affect you, because when people wear ignorance as a shield it inevitably becomes their cage. That, and real adults like your sister-in-law tend to not worry themselves about the petty teenage drama.
I hope one day you do become enough of a mature adult to apologize to your brother, sister-in-law, and family for your pettiness. And I hope you don't burn too many bridges with them in the meantime, because you're really going to need them over the next eight months. And you'll probably need your sister-in-law, as she's going through the same thing you are, and you won't find a sympathetic ear on this board again. That bridge is toast.
BiRL out.
Fell in Love: January 2003
Married: May 2006
Baby Girl Born: April 2014 If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I, an artist, I will answer you:
Now was and is most definitely the right time. We were together for over 4 years before getting married. My husband works and will provide for us so that is not at all an issue. Our families were happy that we were getting married and happy that we are pregnant as well. Its not like I'm an umarried teen who doesn't know how the father is. We are married and starting our family. So thanks but you don't know what your talking about.
Editing my comment because this set of beliefs is so beyond my understanding that I don't want to offend anyone, but seriously... I hope when you mature (which is hopefully sooner rather than later since you're almost a mother) that you understand and empathize with the heartache that your SIL must have gone through.
Wow, I have been a member of the TK/TN/TB for almost 9 years and the post from an immature, ignorant and stupid 18 y.0 is the most hateful, vile and fucking ridiculous comment I have ever seen!
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Now was and is most definitely the right time. We were together for over 4 years before getting married. My husband works and will provide for us so that is not at all an issue. Our families were happy that we were getting married and happy that we are pregnant as well. Its not like I'm an umarried teen who doesn't know how the father is. We are married and starting our family. So thanks but you don't know what your talking about.
You make me so sad. If it wasn't the "right time" for your SIL, guess what?? It WOULDN'T have happened! When struggling with IF, DH and I made decisions about what we are and are not OK with for US. Not for anyone else. Just because I did not want to put my body/finances through IVF does not mean I don't think its ok for other people. But, I do believe that if its not the "right time" no amount of "science" will make it happen.
@ladyabagail When you have an unusually spelled name, it is somewhat risky to use it as your screen name when spewing hate on public forums. Especially when you've shared your age, graduation date, and marital status. It's simply reckless. I hate you, but I thought you could use some advice from a real adult. I wish your parents would have taught you God's love and acceptance as part or your "traditional" upbringing.
I said it before and I will say it again. Online dating is the new trend and perhaps is why regular people are having trouble finding good people the old fashioned way.
There is nothing wrong with online dating. I, personally, just would rather things be simpler. People meeting organically. That's all.
No need for the fuck yous.
If that's how you found your husband. Good for you!
It makes me laugh that people want honest opinions on here and confessions but get their panties in a bunch when you give them your HONEST opinion!
Totally lurking and slurping moscatto... but serious LOL @ "regular people" (vs. ... what? "online people"?), and "organically" (vs. ... through the "inorganic matter" of computers?) ... /ded/
Confession #1: I skipped pages of this thread so I could post an unrelated confession. No offense to any IVF conceivers, keep the flames going... Im just too tired to read as fast as this thread is growing.
Confession #2: I polished off a pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream tonight. I buried it in the bottom of the trash before my husband came home so I can enjoy the cold stone it bought us later tonight without judgement.
Please, for the love of all that is holy, @ladyabagail, stop talking and grow up.
Congrats on getting lucky to get knocked up so quickly. Life doesn't work that way for everyone. It worked that way for my sister, though. She had her first at 19, her twins at 20, and another at 21. She also ended up being a single mother to those four kids because her ex was a cheating, abusive ass. Even as awful as you've been, I truly hope that doesn't happen to you, but you never know. Even if he's a perfectly nice guy, the odds are not in your favor for making it to your fifth anniversary.
The point your sister-in-law was trying to make is that she and her husband have so much love to give a child that they were willing to do anything to have one. That's heroic to me and I hope that her pregnancy is perfect and boring and she gets to bring that little one home to a house that will be filled with infinite love.
(July'13 here.)
You said it perfectly!
BFP 11/24/2012 MMC 1/21/2013 - BFP 3/29/2013 MC 4/8/2013 - BFP 4/25/2013 MC 5/6/2013 - 5/17/2013 Diagnosed with LPD - BFP 8/24/13 MC 9/6/2013
Well our child was conceived without ovulation sticks. We've been open to pregnancy and creating a child since the very first time we had sex. It so happens that we achieved that after only a few months of marriage. Sil has been divorced and is on her second marriage. We are married and doing things the right way sil is just trying to prove a point.
< p>
Okay, I wanted to let this go, but I just can't. Gotta say something.
I know you are married, but you are still very young. It might not have occurred to you that you technically fill a teenage pregnancy stat. There are lots of things that people could and might one day say to you about that....and then you might get a taste of how rude, hurtful, and ignorant your comments about IVF and what is the "right way" about conceiving were. But I have a feeling it will take a lot of maturing before you will see that light.
I feel for your SIL. I have not been divorced, but I have plenty of friends and relatives who are on their second (or more) marriages. These are wonderful people. Just because you make a mistake somewhere in your life does not make you less worthy than the next person. You are only 18. I promise that somewhere in the years to come you will make a mistake. It might not be with YH, but there will be mistakes. That is what makes us HUMAN. You actually kind of made one of these mistakes on this board today...
As to your SILs struggles with IF. I promise you that everything she went through to conceive was not to prove a point to you or anyone else. I know that the only thing that I thought of during my IF struggle was my desire for DH and I to have a child together. There was no point being made, just the baby that we have always wanted. The path to parenthood is varied. Traditional or assisted, adoption to foster parents, in the end it doesn't matter.
My hope for you is that you will mature one day. Learn to respect other people. Just because they are different than you and make different choices doesn't make them beneath you. I think you might be really most upset that your SIL stole your thunder, but you need to stop being an AW. Once you are a mom, your own baby will be the "thunder stealer". Take this time that you are pregnant to learn about compassion, empathy, and forgiveness. Those are also "traditional values," ones that you are currently lacking.
Edited because the spell check on my iPad has no clue...
TTC Since January 2012
Me:37 DH:34 DX July 2013: Unexplained Infertility New DX Dec 2013: DOR
I read all 15 pages of this BS just so I could add...
March 14 was here.
Seriously though, @ladyabagail, I need your input on this. My husband and I got pregnant by having a bunch of sex. However, this is the second marraige for both of us. Is my pregnancy legit? Or should I go back to my emotionally abusive first husband before she's born? I just want to make sure I'm doing this "the right way".
Also, August14, the blatant crazies (like this chick) should weed themselves out in the next few months. Sorry you have to deal with this!
@ladyabagail lurking from A14. For someone who has suffered years if unexplained secondary infertility. I thank god for science and the VA. Without both I don't think I would have been able to come this far. I am happy that all it took was medication but everyone isn't so lucky. IF can cause other problems such as depression. You should be happy for your SIL you don't know her struggles. Also be happy that she was able to afford the treatments she needed to experience something that comes so easily for people who don't deserve it. Like the woman in Texas with 4children, who allowed roaches and maggots to crawl all over her poor children and even allowed the youngest to wonder off into the road. There are far worst things than science. You should hope that you never need science to save you or god forbid your babies life. Please grow up and stop being so ignorant.
@ladyabagail Wow. Thanks for your insight. Wish I thought to get pregnant that way. Do you think my frozen embryo transfer baby is going to come out looking like an alien? Just want to make sure everyone in delivery room is adequately prepared for my freakshow science experiment.
Lurking from A14...@ladyabagail I've met quite a few people who struggled to get pregnant the "natural way." Their "science babies" turned out perfectly human and normal. All children are miracles and it's a shame that you can't appreciate this. The women who went the IVF route did it because they didn't have a choice. I'm sure no one chooses to be infertile or spend thousands to "steal the spotlight." I'm still waiting on your GBCB.
It took me an hour to read every page and every post. 3:45am to 4:45am and I'm not even the teensiest upset over the lack of sleep.
I reiterate everything said to the teen mom (except the aggressive insults because I don't think severe name-calling is showing her what maturity really is - I had a bulky in 7th grade call me things like that, push me into lockers, cut off chunks of my hair, etc). She needs to GTFO fo'real.
Oh and I found out last weekend my SIL is also preggers and is due 3 weeks before me. Know what we did when over at their place for dinner? We screamed and squealed like teenage girls we were so excited to be FTM together, entirely unplanned. I relish in the joy that one of my BFFs and I will get to experience this together and that the cousins will be just a few weeks apart in age.
As to the online dating thing - yes we rely on technology, blah blah blah. My sister met her boyfriend online. Every guy she met IRL was not right for her/a dick. They now have a 10 month old son (oh no - out of wedlock!!!!) who makes my role as an aunt simply amazing and enjoyable. I couldn't have wished her more luck and love when she said they met online.
As to the name Crispin - the only time I've heard of it is from the actor Crispin Glover who played Marty McFly's dad on Back To The Future.
Now it's 5am and I'm going to try and get more sleep. G'night Aug14's and lurkers from all other boards!
@ladyabagail I'm currently sitting in a hospital bed trying to stay pregnant with my 2nd and 3rd little science experiments for as long as possible while my DH is at home with experiment #1.
Here's my story: DH and I started dating just as I finished high school and he was in his last year. We both went to university and got married 4 years later. I have PCOS and knew TTC would be a bitch. We started TTC in 2005. And NEVER HAD EVEN A SINGLE BFP! Not one. Ever. Because I don't ovulate. We then started fertility treatments, and after meds, 4 IUIs, 1 surgery a shit load of hormone injections, a hugely painful egg retrieval and some good ole' science I got pregnant for the first time after nearly 6 years of trying and over 8 years of marriage.
For you to imply that my wonderful loving son, and the twins I am carrying, are somehow lesser beings than your 'love' baby is offensive and hurtful. DH and I went through a lot to have them, and are blessed to be able to be parents!!
Congrats on your pregnancy. I hope it goes smoothly for you, because I doubt you would be able to cope with even half the shit your SIL has had to go through to have her miracle baby.
I think online dating us BULLSHIT. Go out and struggle to get to know someone the hard way instead of reading a Bio and having people do the hard work for you. I am aware that this is an ever growing trend and I just think it's silly.
Marriage is hard work and dedication. Starting a marriage reading a bio online is not hard and doesn't require any dedication.
I met my husband at work, our close friends met at school, another couple met online, and the fourth in our little group met (shockingly) at a bar! We are all happy we are all in love... And we all work to stay in our happy committed relationships. Who cares how fate brought us together? How you meet does not equate to how happy you will be in your marriage and life.
Now was and is most definitely the right time. We were together for over 4 years before getting married. My husband works and will provide for us so that is not at all an issue. Our families were happy that we were getting married and happy that we are pregnant as well. Its not like I'm an umarried teen who doesn't know how the father is. We are married and starting our family. So thanks but you don't know what your talking about.
Do you feel like you should get some sort of prize for being together four years before marriage? Because you were in hs the whole time I really don't see that as a great accomplishment nor getting married at 18 as the next logical step. My husband and I were together 9 years before we got married. We both changed a lot in that time and grew closer together. I feel like we got married at the right time. He had his college degree and a great full time job, I was almost done my master's and also had a great full time job. I find it hard to believe your husband's job is that great at this point in your life that he can comfortably support you and your baby. But best of luck with that because at this point there is no other option. It doesn't matter what any of us say because at this point you are just so wrapped up in you that you won't get it. You claim to be mature, but you have lots of growing up to do. If all of us can see that online, I sure as hell hope your family is on to that as well.
M14 is in the house! Wow Au14... you guys met your crazy quota for January with just one poster. Congrats!
@ladyabagail, there is nothing I can add that PP haven't already. FFFC are flame free for people who are not unimaginably horrible people, which you are. Take your shitty opinion (and uneducated self) somewhere else.
Well our child was conceived without ovulation sticks. We've been open to pregnancy and creating a child since the very first time we had sex. It so happens that we achieved that after only a few months of marriage. Sil has been divorced and is on her second marriage. We are married and doing things the right way sil is just trying to prove a point.
A butting in May 2013 mom- I feel bad that you will be bringing a child into the world with such a spiteful and immature outlook on the way the world really works. I understand that you have thoughts and opinions on what YOU believe to be 'the right way' of doing things. You are 18 and still have a lot of growing up to do. I was the same way at your age (about other things).
You have to understand that creating a human whether it's by having intercourse or with medical intervention IS A MIRACLE! 2 cells with genetic code come together and match up and split and split and split and form a child! Whether that's done inside or outside a body is amazing!
No one is saying the you didn't conceive in love, but your SIL found her mate (your brother?) and had trouble building a family with him. I am going to assume she is old enough to be married and has more of a financially ability to be able to go through the emotionally and physically painful process of IVF. I'm also going to assume she's been married longer than you since they don't just LET you do IVF unless you've been trying for long time to have a baby the 'traditional' way.
Which makes me wonder if you were jealous and decided to marry your high school sweetheart and get KU just to spite your brother and his poor wife.
I feel bad for you and I am so thrilled science has helped your SIL. I hope you see the blessing of modern technology some day.
Lurking from May '14. I'm still waiting for her to come back and tell us all what ''point'' it is that SIL is trying to make? Do you think all of us with ''science babies'' as you refer to them as, are just ''trying to prove a point''. For the sake of everyone else on Aug. 14, GTFO!
Sigh I remember when I was 18 and knew everything, then reality hit.
Also can anyone explain to me where the science babies get their soul? Is there like a seperate Heaven for non miraculous experiment people? I mean if only loving acts of intercourse between wedded partners can produce miraculous creations of god then where did the rest of us come from? Just wondering when the scientist injects the soul into the non person? You my dear are a child pouting and showing how silly you are. You can play at being grown up but you clearly have no idea what it means to be an adult. Also please pass along my congratulations to your SIL who deserves every happiness and I'm sure will be a better role model than you.
Well our child was conceived without ovulation sticks. We've been open to pregnancy and creating a child since the very first time we had sex. It so happens that we achieved that after only a few months of marriage. Sil has been divorced and is on her second marriage. We are married and doing things the right way sil is just trying to prove a point.
Seriously, you're just an asshole.
“Some people live more in 20 years than others do in 80. It’s not the time that matters, it’s the person.” — The Doctor, Season 3, Episode 6
Lurking from Jan 14 bc I heard about this crazy drama from our Facebook group!!! @ladyabagail. Do not act like u are all Holier than Thou! One day when u are older u are gonna still be stuck in your ignorant back woods beliefs and you are gonna make an ignorant ass comment just like the one you made on this board to the wrong person and you will get you ass kicked for sure! I hope a you tube video is made so that it can be posted here so we can all watch and laugh. Oh and btw I highly doubt at 18 you are mature enough to know what love is ( just like I wasn't ) and you will be divorced just like your SIL and myself......
Re: FFFC
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I'm not new. I just hate The Bump.
@ladyabagail
1. Is that sparkling cider in your picture?
2. Perhaps people aren't as excited about your baby because you are 18 and just got married...not in any way dissing on young mommas but I am sure young mommas will agree it is hard to parent that young with only a hs diploma to help support you and maybe your family feels now was not the best time, planned or not.
Baby Girl Born: April 2014
If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I, an artist, I will answer you:
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ladyabagail problem... hopefully she'll see her way out soon.
BFP #1 May 20, 2013 MC June 27, 2013 BFP #2 August 2, 2013 Baby Boy born 4/25/14 (3 weeks overdue!)
April 14 August Siggy Challenge- "This time last year.."
< p> Okay, I wanted to let this go, but I just can't. Gotta say something.
I know you are married, but you are still very young. It might not have occurred to you that you technically fill a teenage pregnancy stat. There are lots of things that people could and might one day say to you about that....and then you might get a taste of how rude, hurtful, and ignorant your comments about IVF and what is the "right way" about conceiving were. But I have a feeling it will take a lot of maturing before you will see that light.
I feel for your SIL. I have not been divorced, but I have plenty of friends and relatives who are on their second (or more) marriages. These are wonderful people. Just because you make a mistake somewhere in your life does not make you less worthy than the next person. You are only 18. I promise that somewhere in the years to come you will make a mistake. It might not be with YH, but there will be mistakes. That is what makes us HUMAN. You actually kind of made one of these mistakes on this board today...
As to your SILs struggles with IF. I promise you that everything she went through to conceive was not to prove a point to you or anyone else. I know that the only thing that I thought of during my IF struggle was my desire for DH and I to have a child together. There was no point being made, just the baby that we have always wanted. The path to parenthood is varied. Traditional or assisted, adoption to foster parents, in the end it doesn't matter.
My hope for you is that you will mature one day. Learn to respect other people. Just because they are different than you and make different choices doesn't make them beneath you. I think you might be really most upset that your SIL stole your thunder, but you need to stop being an AW. Once you are a mom, your own baby will be the "thunder stealer". Take this time that you are pregnant to learn about compassion, empathy, and forgiveness. Those are also "traditional values," ones that you are currently lacking.
Edited because the spell check on my iPad has no clue...
4 rounds of clomid, 2 with IUI = BFN
March 14 was here.
Seriously though, @ladyabagail, I need your input on this. My husband and I got pregnant by having a bunch of sex. However, this is the second marraige for both of us. Is my pregnancy legit? Or should I go back to my emotionally abusive first husband before she's born? I just want to make sure I'm doing this "the right way".
Also, August14, the blatant crazies (like this chick) should weed themselves out in the next few months. Sorry you have to deal with this!
Jan '14 was here #teamSIL
PCOS diagnosed secondary infertility
BFP #1 (letrozole 2.5mg + ovidrel) February 2016, MMC April 2016 @ 7 weeks
BFP #2 (letrozole 5mg + ovidrel) July 2016, Beta #1 359, Beta #2 745, Beta #3 11484
EDD April 9th, 2017
I reiterate everything said to the teen mom (except the aggressive insults because I don't think severe name-calling is showing her what maturity really is - I had a bulky in 7th grade call me things like that, push me into lockers, cut off chunks of my hair, etc). She needs to GTFO fo'real.
Oh and I found out last weekend my SIL is also preggers and is due 3 weeks before me. Know what we did when over at their place for dinner? We screamed and squealed like teenage girls we were so excited to be FTM together, entirely unplanned. I relish in the joy that one of my BFFs and I will get to experience this together and that the cousins will be just a few weeks apart in age.
As to the online dating thing - yes we rely on technology, blah blah blah. My sister met her boyfriend online. Every guy she met IRL was not right for her/a dick. They now have a 10 month old son (oh no - out of wedlock!!!!) who makes my role as an aunt simply amazing and enjoyable. I couldn't have wished her more luck and love when she said they met online.
As to the name Crispin - the only time I've heard of it is from the actor Crispin Glover who played Marty McFly's dad on Back To The Future.
Now it's 5am and I'm going to try and get more sleep. G'night Aug14's and lurkers from all other boards!
@ladyabagail I'm currently sitting in a hospital bed trying to stay pregnant with my 2nd and 3rd little science experiments for as long as possible while my DH is at home with experiment #1.
Here's my story: DH and I started dating just as I finished high school and he was in his last year. We both went to university and got married 4 years later. I have PCOS and knew TTC would be a bitch. We started TTC in 2005. And NEVER HAD EVEN A SINGLE BFP! Not one. Ever. Because I don't ovulate. We then started fertility treatments, and after meds, 4 IUIs, 1 surgery a shit load of hormone injections, a hugely painful egg retrieval and some good ole' science I got pregnant for the first time after nearly 6 years of trying and over 8 years of marriage.
For you to imply that my wonderful loving son, and the twins I am carrying, are somehow lesser beings than your 'love' baby is offensive and hurtful. DH and I went through a lot to have them, and are blessed to be able to be parents!!
Congrats on your pregnancy. I hope it goes smoothly for you, because I doubt you would be able to cope with even half the shit your SIL has had to go through to have her miracle baby.
*slinks away wanting to hug her experiments*
I met my husband at work, our close friends met at school, another couple met online, and the fourth in our little group met (shockingly) at a bar! We are all happy we are all in love... And we all work to stay in our happy committed relationships. Who cares how fate brought us together? How you meet does not equate to how happy you will be in your marriage and life.
Married 11/21/2018
Me: 33 / DH: 33
TTC #1 since 2012, finally successful in 2016
BFP 11/29/2013 - EDD 8/9/2014 - MMC 12/31/2013 8 weeks 2 days - Tried to MC naturally for 4 weeks, D&C 2/2/2014
IUI 01/25/2016 - BFP 2/5/2016 - Natural Home Delivery to our DD 10/8/2016
IUD removed 10/3/2018
Ready to TTC for #2
@ladyabagail, there is nothing I can add that PP haven't already. FFFC are flame free for people who are not unimaginably horrible people, which you are. Take your shitty opinion (and uneducated self) somewhere else.
For the sake of everyone else on Aug. 14, GTFO!
Sigh I remember when I was 18 and knew everything, then reality hit.
Also can anyone explain to me where the science babies get their soul? Is there like a seperate Heaven for non miraculous experiment people? I mean if only loving acts of intercourse between wedded partners can produce miraculous creations of god then where did the rest of us come from? Just wondering when the scientist injects the soul into the non person? You my dear are a child pouting and showing how silly you are. You can play at being grown up but you clearly have no idea what it means to be an adult. Also please pass along my congratulations to your SIL who deserves every happiness and I'm sure will be a better role model than you.
Fx you don't need a c section!
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— The Doctor, Season 3, Episode 6