new to this and obsessing (long)

MsMarvel 98 · January 2014

2 days ago I took a test to rule out pregnancy since I've been feeling terrible lately. DH and I have been NTNP for about 4 years, and had accepted that we weren't meant to have kids. I was totally shocked to get a strong positive on my first test, and then on each of the other 3 I took. This is my first time being pregnant, and I am obsessing over everything.

I don't know how far along I am due to irregular cycles, and not really paying close attention to them. I keep thinking back to the bleeding I had over Christmas that I thought was my period, it wasn't normal so I assume now it was implantation bleeding. There were some major clots though. Now I'm worried that I miscarried and my body just doesn't know it yet. I'm so nauseated, and I want to eat tortilla chips all day. I have a slight pain in my left lower abdomen. I have brown discharge (spotting maybe??). I tried calling my doctor but they are closed due to the weather. We are having a major winter storm here, so I can't even get out of the house.

I have to tell everyone I work with ASAP since I work for a veterinarian and won't be able to X-ray, or monitor anesthesia, etc. I do not want to have to go in Wednesday and announce that I'm pregnant only to go in a week later and tell them I'm not. I am not particularly close with my coworkers, and having to share that sensitive news with them would be awful.

Basically, I'm just sitting on my couch watching Netflix and worrying that the baby I wanted for so long has come and gone. I just had to put these thoughts out into the world because they are eating me up. Thanks for listening.

greeneyed_bride · January 2014

Ugh! I'm so sorry!! Fingers crossed that everything works out well for you!

Cat&S · January 2014

Sending good thoughts your way! Congrats and I hope you can see the doctor soon.

MsMarvel 98 · January 2014

Thanks ladies, I feel better just putting my worries out into the world.

rae_dylanzmom · January 2014

Sorry you are worried and can't see your doc. A couple obs from your post:
- spotting is normal. Super stressful, but it can be normal. also cramping and minor pains are totally normal.
- maybe at work you could tell a manager/supervisor and get assigned some different duties without shouting out the news to everyone. I did this with some people/places who needed to know (like my crossfit gym, the most gossipy place I know, and I was impressed with the discretion the trainers showed until I was ready to share the news myself).

So after 4 PG tests, and some early pregnancy symptoms, it sounds like you are pregnant! Congrats!

laruenh · January 2014

Waiting can be so brutal. Wishing you the best possible outcome!

Giraffealaff · January 2014

I'm sorry hun! Hopefully the storm is over soon as you can get in to your doctor for some clarity. As far as work goes, I would speak to your direct manager/supervisor. Let that person know what is going on and explain it's a sensitive thing that you do not want everyone to know. Hopefully they can either have you do something different from your normal duties, or find a way to help cover for you when it comes to certain tasks. Either way, Best Wishes and good vibes going out to you

yvanehtnioj · January 2014

Wishing you the best of luck!

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