UO

Blueyed228 · January 2014

Oohgurl said:

I saw 2 pages of UO and I was like YES! And then I read it....

surpriseaddition · January 2014

My UO relates to the post regarding pacifiers from @cgiles the other day. Everyone was commenting at how their view of pacifiers has changed since they had a kid, and how they'd like to see what that friend does after LO arrives. It got me to thinking back about the baby shower debate....where several STM were posting about second baby showers and all the FTMs were all "no, that's tacky, etc.". My UO then and now is that it's OK for a STM to have a shower, if someone wants to give them one. My first shower was held when I had my first LO back in 1998. When friends thatin the current state I live in wanted to throw me a shower, I was all "hell yeah!" since I didn't have one thing left from my first two. So, my UO is second showers are cool! I wonder if anyone has changed their minds about that?

Oohgurl · January 2014

Blueyed228 said:

Oohgurl said:

I saw 2 pages of UO and I was like YES! And then I read it....

jedimindtrick · January 2014

Oohgurl said:
I saw 2 pages of UO and I was like YES! And then I read it....

Samesies!!

Oohgurl · January 2014

NJAZgirl said:

I saw 2 pages of UO and I was like YES! And then I read it....

Samesies!!

jayro10 · January 2014

@surpriseaddition I think in your case, a second shower was totally warranted! We will most likely TTC in a couple years and I don't expect anyone to throw us a shower for number two, nor do I want a shower again. We are saving everything--literally-- from this LO so we should be set as far as big things. I think "sprinkles" are more appropriate, to give diapers and clothes, with just a few close friends invited.

ETA at my shower this past April, my MIL actually said to me "...and in a couple years when you are pregnant again and it's a boy, we will have to throw you another shower!" I told her no right then.

TundraGirl · January 2014

nech0606 said:

MAdams728 said:

LizzyG11 said:

cgiles120812 said:
I live in southern Texas and its rare we get snow. I love snow, the weather sucks here.
Anywhere near Houston? That's where I am and I am not a fan of the weather...I want an actual winter dammit!
I'm in the Hill Country. I always think how awesome it would be to have snow, and then we get an "arctic blast" that takes the temps into the 30's and I realize what a wimp I am. I'll take the Texas heat!

I love the winter, but its going to be - 15° here in Minne-snow-ta on Monday with a -30 to -40 windchill. Ick,

I'm hearing is going to be cold like this for the whole month of January! Not sure where you are but I'm in the northland and meteorologists might as well say "Go to bed. We'll wake you up in the spring."

I like winter when I can actually go outside without freezing my face off. Too much to ask, I know.

jedimindtrick · January 2014

Oohgurl said:

NJAZgirl said:

Oohgurl said:
I saw 2 pages of UO and I was like YES! And then I read it....

Samesies!!

MAdams728 · January 2014

surpriseaddition said:
My UO relates to the post regarding pacifiers from @cgiles the other day. Everyone was commenting at how their view of pacifiers has changed since they had a kid, and how they'd like to see what that friend does after LO arrives. It got me to thinking back about the baby shower debate....where several STM were posting about second baby showers and all the FTMs were all "no, that's tacky, etc.". My UO then and now is that it's OK for a STM to have a shower, if someone wants to give them one. My first shower was held when I had my first LO back in 1998. When friends thatin the current state I live in wanted to throw me a shower, I was all "hell yeah!" since I didn't have one thing left from my first two. So, my UO is second showers are cool! I wonder if anyone has changed their minds about that?

I haven't changed my mind! I am not a fan of second showers. Although, your case was different, with such a big age difference.

We hope to get pregnant again this spring, if not sooner, and I definitely don't want another shower.

Oohgurl · January 2014

2010Bride2be said:

Oohgurl said:

I saw 2 pages of UO and I was like YES! And then I read it....

So basically, you clicked on it hoping that it would be some drama filled thread and were disappointed when you saw otherwise.....

Um yes. I did click on the UO thread right? Not the P&R thread? Yup... just checking.

Oohgurl · January 2014

LizzyG11 · January 2014

MAdams728 said:

LizzyG11 said:

cgiles120812 said:
I live in southern Texas and its rare we get snow. I love snow, the weather sucks here.
Anywhere near Houston? That's where I am and I am not a fan of the weather...I want an actual winter dammit!
I'm in the Hill Country. I always think how awesome it would be to have snow, and then we get an "arctic blast" that takes the temps into the 30's and I realize what a wimp I am. I'll take the Texas heat!

Ahh see I live for those "arctic blasts!" Then it actually feels like winter. The whole 70 degrees in December thing makes me sad.

LizzyG11 · January 2014

cgiles120812 said:

LizzyG11 said:

cgiles120812 said:
I live in southern Texas and its rare we get snow. I love snow, the weather sucks here.
Anywhere near Houston? That's where I am and I am not a fan of the weather...I want an actual winter dammit!
Lol yes, 20 or so minutes away! I've always hated the weather. It feels good right now though

Haha I know I always get excited when I see a low in the 30s!

Oohgurl · January 2014

Oohgurl · January 2014

Puppies and Rainbows

snowgirl427 · January 2014

Eta fix gif

Blueyed228 · January 2014

I have one.

I have a few avid runners on FB. Thats cool if you want to post your mileage that day etc, but its really tacky to keep asking people to fund your 5K's. One or 2 a year? Fine. Ask FB. 1 or 2 a month? Cut the shit.

Also- second showers are never not tacky. I dont care how many years have passed.

Boo0512 · January 2014

Blueyed228 said:
I have one.

I have a few avid runners on FB. Thats cool if you want to post your mileage that day etc, but its really tacky to keep asking people to fund your 5K's. One or 2 a year? Fine. Ask FB. 1 or 2 a month? Cut the shit.

Also- second showers are never not tacky. I dont care how many years have passed.

I think second showers for someone who hasn't had a child in 10+ years is totally acceptable. Just my opinion. I'd be happy to throw a shower for someone who no longer has any of the essential items they needed.

An acquaintance of mine had a 2nd shower because she was having a girl this time. Her son is 3 years old. I didn't even respond to the invite. She's a gift grabby ho though.

In my opinion those two scenarios are totally different. However, no one is allowed to request a shower in my book.

kyliensc · January 2014

I have a friend who had a second shower bc she was having a boy and already had a girl. this baby had a different dad and her daughter was 11 months old, she registered and everything. then sold all the gifts less then 6 months later

TradeMama · January 2014

I think second showers are tacky, no matter the circumstances. I see baby showers as a welcome to motherhood-- so you only get one. With LO though, he was my third and my husband's first... So his office threw him a shower at work and I didn't go.

PumpkinAndThePeanut · January 2014

I agree, @TradeMama. It's not about the gifts, it's about welcoming the new mother to be to motherhood.

huzzahuzza · January 2014

I guess I always saw baby showers as "congrats your having a baby" not "Welcome to Motherhood." If that's the case, why don't they call it a mommy shower instead of a baby shower?

sundaesprinkles · January 2014

I think if you're not inviting the same people to the second shower (like if you have moved since the first shower or if it has been years since the first baby and you have a new set of friends) then it's okay to have a second shower if someone wants to throw you one.

c-elizabethf · January 2014

Shantxtell said:
I had absolutely no idea that second showers were a no- no until I started bumping.
Maybe it's regional.. Here in Ca it seems like everyone has multiple showers, but I do side eye people that throw their own.
So here's my UO: if someone offers me a shower next kid I'll graciously accept. That shit was fun.

Same here. Down here it's the norm for second showers, I guess that's what I'm used to seeing, I never knew people saw it as tacky until the bump.

c-elizabethf · January 2014

Throwing your own on the otherhand, yes I see that as tacky.

Shoegal36 · January 2014

I think a full blown 2nd shower with a big guest list and registry is tacky, but I don't think there's anything wrong with doing something small.

For my brother and SIL who just had a baby boy (my neice is 4), I had a dinner at my house and invited our immediate family, her parents and 2 of her aunts that she is close with. We gave outfits and diapers and I got a few "it's a boy" decorations.

I think something like that would be nice, but I would never ask for it obviously.

emmy236 · January 2014

Our next door neighbors were due having their second exactly a month before I had R. Her first was 4. Her friends threw her a small shower. It was really just a party that had 15 mins of baby gifts. There was booze, real food, the guys played pool, the women gossiped and she just got a few small items. A new diaper bag, some personalized items with this baby's name on it and diapers, wipes, baby wash etc. nothing big. It was really nice because she can show pictures to second daughter about her shower but no one spent more than $25-50.

Also, my step sister just had her 3rd baby in November and had a shower except she found a local women's shelter and got their "needed" items list and asked for everyone to get a gift from that or make a donation. Everything she got went to that shelter. I thought that was a really nice way to celebrate the baby.

c-elizabethf · January 2014

2010Bride2be said:

scormier123 said:

I think a full blown 2nd shower with a big guest list and registry is tacky, but I don't think there's anything wrong with doing something small.

For my brother and SIL who just had a baby boy (my neice is 4), I had a dinner at my house and invited our immediate family, her parents and 2 of her aunts that she is close with. We gave outfits and diapers and I got a few "it's a boy" decorations.

I think something like that would be nice, but I would never ask for it obviously.

See...I think this is fine. I guess I'm talking about a full blown baby shower....in my book, doing that twice is a no-no.

This is usually what see for second showers.

Blueyed228 · January 2014

Bridal showers welcome you into the married world. You get 1.

Baby showers welcome you into.motherhood. You get 1.

I always buy my friends a baby gift when they have more babies, but to throw a gift giving event like a baby shower with a registry is tacky. I already bought you a car seat 10 years ago. I'm not buying you another one.

Just as if you get married again. Of course I'll come and give you a gift. But if you are having another shower with a registry, no thanks. I bought your pots and pans for your last wedding. I'm not doing it again.

MAdams728 · January 2014

LizzyG11 said:

MAdams728 said:

LizzyG11 said:

cgiles120812 said:
I live in southern Texas and its rare we get snow. I love snow, the weather sucks here.
Anywhere near Houston? That's where I am and I am not a fan of the weather...I want an actual winter dammit!
I'm in the Hill Country. I always think how awesome it would be to have snow, and then we get an "arctic blast" that takes the temps into the 30's and I realize what a wimp I am. I'll take the Texas heat!

Ahh see I live for those "arctic blasts!" Then it actually feels like winter. The whole 70 degrees in December thing makes me sad.

You would have been happy here today, then! It was 21 this morning, and was barely 40 at noon. I live here because it's not supposed to get this cold!

fancefpp · January 2014

I agree, one shower. No one likes going to those things the first time around....or maybe it's just me. Although, I have to say, I'm not totally offended by a second shower when there is a huge gap between kids, like 10 years. I wouldn't want one but it isn't terrible if someone wants to throw you one. As for Sprinkles, they are just gift grabbers with a cute name.

c-elizabethf · January 2014

MAdams728 said:

I live in southern Texas and its rare we get snow. I love snow, the weather sucks here.
Anywhere near Houston? That's where I am and I am not a fan of the weather...I want an actual winter dammit!
I'm in the Hill Country. I always think how awesome it would be to have snow, and then we get an "arctic blast" that takes the temps into the 30's and I realize what a wimp I am. I'll take the Texas heat!
Ahh see I live for those "arctic blasts!" Then it actually feels like winter. The whole 70 degrees in December thing makes me sad.
You would have been happy here today, then! It was 21 this morning, and was barely 40 at noon. I live here because it's not supposed to get this cold!

It was 43 this morning and it's 50 right now. Tomorrow it will be 64

huzzahuzza · January 2014

Well frick! All these 2nd showers sound like my 1st!!!! I bought all the big ticket items. No one spent more than $40 on J except my SIL, who bought the pack n play! WTH?!?

I also never got a bridal shower.

Shoegal36 · January 2014

5953fpp said:

I agree, one shower. No one likes going to those things the first time around....or maybe it's just me. Although, I have to say, I'm not totally offended by a second shower when there is a huge gap between kids, like 10 years. I wouldn't want one but it isn't terrible if someone wants to throw you one. As for Sprinkles, they are just gift grabbers with a cute name.

I like going to baby showers. I guess that's my UO.

Boo0512 · January 2014

huzzahuzza said:
Well frick! All these 2nd showers sound like my 1st!!!! I bought all the big ticket items. No one spent more than $40 on J except my SIL, who bought the pack n play! WTH?!?

I also never got a bridal shower.

I never spend more than $35 on anyone unless they are family or my BFF. That's for a wedding shower or baby shower. That is pretty common for our area. For family or BFF I'd spend $100-200.

CNJ4EVA · January 2014

scormier123 said:

5953fpp said:

I agree, one shower. No one likes going to those things the first time around....or maybe it's just me. Although, I have to say, I'm not totally offended by a second shower when there is a huge gap between kids, like 10 years. I wouldn't want one but it isn't terrible if someone wants to throw you one. As for Sprinkles, they are just gift grabbers with a cute name.

I like going to baby showers. I guess that's my UO.

I do, too!

I think I'm alone on this one, but I also like participating in diaper raffles, books instead of cards, clotheslines, etc.
Edit typo

surpriseaddition · January 2014

I hope I get credit with whoever said in the FFFC that people need to contribute and stir things up with my post about the shower LOL! I'm not sure what type of "shower" you all had, but for my second one it was just a bunch of my friends/coworkers who all met at the one friend's house for a nice lunch (everyone brought a dish). They had baby decorations, a cake, and everyone brought gifts which were very much needed and appreciated! I live in a completely different state now, none of these ladies were at my first shower, I didn't ask anyone to throw it, and everyone had a lot of fun with the beverages flowing

It is definitely the norm here, since every other teacher in my school had similar showers for second babies....even if their older kid was only 2 years old. Our LO was unplanned, and we didn't have anything at all. I borrowed a lot of items to save money, like the travel system/car seat so this LO has a lot of second hand stuff like a normal second or third child would have. I just really had a lot of fun...and so did the other ladies, since it was a great excuse to get together and socialize. To each their own, though!

Oohgurl · January 2014

surpriseaddition said:

I hope I get credit with whoever said in the FFFC that people need to contribute and stir things up with my post about the shower LOL! I'm not sure what type of "shower" you all had, but for my second one it was just a bunch of my friends/coworkers who all met at the one friend's house for a nice lunch (everyone brought a dish). They had baby decorations, a cake, and everyone brought gifts which were very much needed and appreciated! I live in a completely different state now, none of these ladies were at my first shower, I didn't ask anyone to throw it, and everyone had a lot of fun with the beverages flowing It is definitely the norm here, since every other teacher in my school had similar showers for second babies....even if their older kid was only 2 years old. Our LO was unplanned, and we didn't have anything at all. I borrowed a lot of items to save money, like the travel system/car seat so this LO has a lot of second hand stuff like a normal second or third child would have. I just really had a lot of fun...and so did the other ladies, since it was a great excuse to get together and socialize. To each their own, though!

surpriseaddition · January 2014

^ ^ Thanks! 8->

Blueyed228 · January 2014

I guess another UO is that just because something is common in your area doesn't make it less of an etiquette faux pas.

That said, your *shower * doesn't sound like the showers in my social circle.

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