1st prenatal visit cancelled- SUPER irritated

111emd · January 2014

I am most likely (okay, most certainly) overreacting, but I cannot help but feel beyond irritated that these morons have cancelled another of my appointments with less than an hours notice. Then they tell me they don't have another opening for WEEKS! I already waited 4 weeks for THIS appointment!

I love my OB, I mean she helped me get pregnant and all, but her office staff does know how to handle their schedules. I have had so many appointments cancelled because a nurse called off sick. This office isn't small, so I don't understand how they can't move something around (like perhaps reschedule a woman who ISNT pregnant) so that I can still be seen.

I'll be at 7 weeks tomorrow and I haven't been seen once. I was so looking forward to being able to see my baby today and hearing that everything was progressing normally. Now all that anxiety is coming back up and I am so disappointed.

Maybe I am just being a spoiled brat, I don't know. How would you feel? I am looking up other OB's right now because I am not looking forward to 9 months of cancelled doctors appointments.

111emd · January 2014

RedheadBaker said:

Um, pretty sure that non-pregnant women can have just as urgent a need to see the OB/GYN as a pregnant woman. That's kind of a shitty thing to say that your appointment is more important than theirs.

Most women don't have their first appointments until 10 to 12 weeks. Chill.

No shit? It's ALMOST like I acknowledged I was being a spoiled brat, or something. I will try and "chill" as you've suggested, for now it felt good to vent a little.

Ceridwen21 · January 2014

My first appointment is at 12 weeks so....?

sunflowermama42212 · January 2014

Wow. Just wow. You at 7 weeks is not a huge priority at all since most OBs don't see anyone until 10-12 weeks. You especially aren't a higher priority over a non-pregnant woman at 7 weeks ether. Just because your pregnant doesn't make you entitled.

MallardDucky · January 2014

RedheadBaker said:
Um, pretty sure that non-pregnant women can have just as urgent a need to see the OB/GYN as a pregnant woman. That's kind of a shitty thing to say that your appointment is more important than theirs.

Most women don't have their first appointments until 10 to 12 weeks. Chill.

Wow over reaction, I agree with red you basically have been waiting for this appointment since you found out you were pregnant. Guess what so has everyone else. You are not going to see much even if your dates are right, most docs don't even see you till 10-12 weeks. Calm down

haliebabyx3 · January 2014

I feel like that's pretty unprofessional on their part if they keep canceling you, if it's been more than once. As soon as I called they were in a hurry to get me in, because she said that they wanted to make sure everything was okay and progressing normal. I understand you wanting to vent, it's an exciting time and a beautiful thing you just want to make sure everything is the way it should be.

madfam0405 · January 2014

I'm sorry you're frustrated, but 1st appts aren't usually until 8-12 weeks. And also ultrasounds this early aren't usually given unless you are high risk or having complications.

Find a new OB...

dogperson11 · January 2014

While I agree that it's really unprofessional to cancel on you multiple times I also agree that yes, you're overreacting. I can empathize with your disappointment, but if a pregnant mom said they were more important then you before you were pregnant you would have thought that was really shitty.

111emd · January 2014

Regardless of when YOU all are first being seen, I was told I would be seen today and having that cancelled with less than an hrs notice is totally unprofessional. I have a right to feel angry and disappointed. I also have a right to vent those frustrations.

Also, I did not mean to insinuate that literally every non-pregnant patient being seen was less important than I am because I am K/U. But I can guarantee you that there is at least one patient being seen today who is simply coming in to renew her B/C (which can be done on the phone at my office) or someone who is picking up their test results (again which can be done on the phone). I can remember, 3 yrs ago, being called and asked if I could give up my appt (it was my annual pap) so that another patient could be seen for HER prenatal check up. So that is where I got the idea of moving appts. around.

Lastly, my irritation with this office has been a long time coming as they have literally cancelled half a dozen appointments with me over the last 3 years, many times with little notice, resulting in me having to take another unpaid day off of work. I stay because my DH and I were trying to get pregnant and adore our doctor. It's her office that has their heads up their asses IMO.

In any event, it appears as if they can get me in on Monday after all- and all I had to do was bite a few heads off. See, being a drama queen sometimes works out in your favor. ;-)

111emd · January 2014

haliebabyx3 said:

I feel like that's pretty unprofessional on their part if they keep canceling you, if it's been more than once. As soon as I called they were in a hurry to get me in, because she said that they wanted to make sure everything was okay and progressing normal. I understand you wanting to vent, it's an exciting time and a beautiful thing you just want to make sure everything is the way it should be.

Thank you, and your experience was the same as all of my mommy GF's. They called their OB, said they were pregnant and their OB got them in ASAP. Aside from this forum, that is the only way I've heard it done. And regardless of when other women are being told they can be seen. I was told 7 weeks, and you're right I was REALLY excited. I appreciate you being able to sympathize with me, I kinda needed a little of that this morning.

mamaloaf · January 2014

You do sound like a spoiled brat. Don't presume that you know how to run your OB's office better than her staff, but oh wait, you think they are "morons." I'm sure her staff feels exactly the same way about you. So glad you "bit some heads off" and got your way to get in early for a new OB check, especially since you are having no problems.

Also, why do you have to take a whole day off work in order to go to the doctor?

rae_dylanzmom · January 2014

Understand you're frustrated, and you've already suggested that you're perhaps overreacting, so I won't beat you up over that.

Here are a couple of thoughts, though:
- You say you love your doc.... perhaps bring this up with him/her and get their perspective on what's going on and/or if this is something you should expect throughout your pregnancy. Or maybe he/she works out of another office you could use.

- I don't think this is terribly unique to your office. OB docs are on-call for deliveries as well, and those ladies are really rude about not making appointments and pushing their way to the front of the line. Keep in mind, someday that will be you.

firefliesandfjords · January 2014

I have very severe, unexplained, chronic pelvic pain regardless of whether I'm pregnant or not. I'd be pretty pissed if I found out I had to fork out a bunch of money to go to ER all because I couldn't see my OB when I needed medication just to make it through the day because someone who is seven weeks pregnant with no medical urgency decided to be an entitled drama queen since she thinks she's more important than everyone else. But maybe I'm just being a spoiled brat.

111emd · January 2014

RedheadBaker said:

RedheadBaker said:

111emd said:

But I can guarantee you that there is at least one patient being seen today who is simply coming in to renew her B/C (which can be done on the phone at my office) or someone who is picking up their test results (again which can be done on the phone).

Why do you know so much about other people's appointments? I'd be concerned your OB's office seems to be violating HIIPA regulations.

I've been a patient there for a while, I know from experience (as I clearly stated above) that you can renew your B/C over the phone odds are there's at least one appointment schedule for that today. Also, I was able to get my test results over the phone instead of coming in so that's how I am aware of that. I was counting on the fact that not every appointment made today necessitated having to be there in person. It's a business, after all. They like to have us come in for shit we don't need to so they can make $$.

Meery82 · January 2014

madfam0405 said:

I'm sorry you're frustrated, but 1st appts aren't usually until 8-12 weeks. And also ultrasounds this early aren't usually given unless you are high risk or having complications. Find a new OB...

This pretty much sums up what I was going to say. I wasn't seen until 11 weeks or so. I can totally understand feeling frustrated. And like you said, this is just a rant. That's cool. But it does sound like they cancel on you a lot, which is very inconvenient. You might want to consider switching doctors.

111emd · January 2014

WELL- I'll say that all I wanted to do initially was rant a little about how irritating it is for my OB's office to CONSTANTLY cancel their appointments with little notice...

But I am stoked that I got to find out so much about myself from bored strangers on the internet.

I'm entitled, I am a brat, I am overreacting. And CLEARLY no matter what I actually SAY, what I really MEAN is that I wanted to be seen over literally every single patient in that office. Especially the ones with severe chronic pelvic pain. In general, I am just a pretty horrible person.

Seriously ladies, thanks for the laugh. My morning might not have started off too awesome but I've gotten some real entertainment out of this thread. You know, as a bratty, entitled little shit, I loved all this attention! You rock!

111emd · January 2014

msspeedymarie said:

RedheadBaker said:

And even if you are right, how do you know that they DIDN'T call up those with "unnecessary" appointments and give those timeslots to women who did have an urgent need to get in and see the doctor (in other words, not you)?

Maybe the OP was one of the unnecessary appointments that was canceled for someone urgent?

OP, you in your on post said you were probably overreacting and a spoiled brat. So you are mad at people for agreeing with you?

Wrong and Wrong.

I was cancelled on because a nurse called in sick an hr before my appointment- something that, had you read anything I've said- has happened many times at this office. Please, tell me next how I should leave this office (I already said I am calling new OB's).

Also I am not mad anyone agree's that I am overreacting, I am entertained. There are a LOT of people here who do not contribute at all unless it's to be obnoxious and state the fucking obvious. Those people make this place entertaining. They are all welcome to comment as much as they like, I've got some popcorn and jujubees over here. Hey, if I have the day off I may as well enjoy it. This shit's hilarious!

)

111emd · January 2014

MrsMuq said:

111emd said:

I am most likely (okay, most certainly) overreacting, but I cannot help but feel beyond irritated that these morons have cancelled another of my appointments with less than an hours notice. Then they tell me they don't have another opening for WEEKS! I already waited 4 weeks for THIS appointment!

I love my OB, I mean she helped me get pregnant and all, but her office staff does know how to handle their schedules. I have had so many appointments cancelled because a nurse called off sick. This office isn't small, so I don't understand how they can't move something around (like perhaps reschedule a woman who ISNT pregnant) so that I can still be seen.

I'll be at 7 weeks tomorrow and I haven't been seen once. I was so looking forward to being able to see my baby today and hearing that everything was progressing normally. Now all that anxiety is coming back up and I am so disappointed.
Maybe I am just being a spoiled brat, I don't know. How would you feel? I am looking up other OB's right now because I am not looking forward to 9 months of cancelled doctors appointments.

Overreacting? Check.
Spoiled brat? Check.
Freaking out people agree with these statements? Check. (And just reaffirms that you are in fact an over-reactive spoiled brat. Congrats!)

This is NEW and totally SURPRISING information! Not sure where this "freak out" happened though. I am well aware of my personality flaws, I wear them proudly. And as an added bonus, I usually get what I want. Being a spoiled piece of shit has it's perks.

PrimRoseMama · January 2014

I might be irritated about the last minute cancellation. My OB requires 24 hours notice if either patient or doctor wants to cancel. So far they've been great about that.

Other then that it's not uncommon to be seen later. 4 weeks still puts you in first trimester. It sucks but odds are there was an emergency or something.

Flexibility will be your biggest gain. You will need it for parenting.

111emd · January 2014

PrimRoseMama said:

I might be irritated about the last minute cancellation. My OB requires 24 hours notice if either patient or doctor wants to cancel. So far they've been great about that. Other then that it's not uncommon to be seen later. 4 weeks still puts you in first trimester. It sucks but odds are there was an emergency or something. Flexibility will be your biggest gain. You will need it for parenting.

This is very true. Something my husband has been telling me for a while. I think we are forced to deal with a lot of our personality flaws when we become parents (or get KU). My DH is working on his patience and being more expressive, I am working on being flexible and keeping my expectations realistic. It's been very hard for me because I am dead serious when I say, I almost always get my way. It's going to be a rough transition! But I am looking forward to making someone else the center of my world for a change! Thank you, sincerely, for the advice.

Ceridwen21 · January 2014

I hope you treat your L&D nurses with the same amount of respect you've treated your OB's staff. Oh sorry, we forgot to call in your epidural darling!!

PrimRoseMama · January 2014

Yeah I'm sleep deprived & totally missed the peachy part of somehow being more important because you are pregnant. WTF? Non pregnant women are just as entitled to OB services. They can have emergencies too. That's a shitty thing to say. You should be ashamed of your attitude. Gross.

111emd · January 2014

PrimRoseMama said:

Yeah I'm sleep deprived & totally missed the peachy part of somehow being more important because you are pregnant. WTF? Non pregnant women are just as entitled to OB services. They can have emergencies too. That's a shitty thing to say. You should be ashamed of your attitude. Gross.

Dear lord. I misspoke, and cleared that up already. You must be missing a lot this morning. Keep reading.

MC03 · January 2014

111emd said:

RedheadBaker said:

RedheadBaker said:

111emd said:

But I can guarantee you that there is at least one patient being seen today who is simply coming in to renew her B/C (which can be done on the phone at my office) or someone who is picking up their test results (again which can be done on the phone).

Why do you know so much about other people's appointments? I'd be concerned your OB's office seems to be violating HIIPA regulations.
I've been a patient there for a while, I know from experience (as I clearly stated above) that you can renew your B/C over the phone odds are there's at least one appointment schedule for that today. Also, I was able to get my test results over the phone instead of coming in so that's how I am aware of that. I was counting on the fact that not every appointment made today necessitated having to be there in person. It's a business, after all. They like to have us come in for shit we don't need to so they can make $$.

There have already been some great comments here, so I'm not going to say anything further about your rant. Except that your "assumptions" about the appointments people have today are just plain stupid. No, you can't always renew B/C over the phone, if you are due for a PAP then you have to come in. Same thing with test results... ever think that maybe someone needs to come in to DISCUSS test results because not everything is always 100% normal.... Seriously your assumptions are just ludicrous.

111emd · January 2014

Ceridwen21 said:

I hope you treat your L&D nurses with the same amount of respect you've treated your OB's staff. Oh sorry, we forgot to call in your epidural darling!!

Having a home delivery- And I didn't realize nurses were so petty and vindictive? Is that part of their first do no hard oath? "First do no harm, unless your patient is a pain in the ass, then fuck her."

sunflowermama42212 · January 2014

....

111emd said:

I am most likely (okay, most certainly) overreacting, but I cannot help but feel beyond irritated that these morons have cancelled another of my appointments with less than an hours notice. Then they tell me they don't have another opening for WEEKS! I already waited 4 weeks for THIS appointment!

I love my OB, I mean she helped me get pregnant and all, but her office staff does know how to handle their schedules. I have had so many appointments cancelled because a nurse called off sick. This office isn't small, so I don't understand how they can't move something around (like perhaps reschedule a woman who ISNT pregnant) so that I can still be seen.

I'll be at 7 weeks tomorrow and I haven't been seen once. I was so looking forward to being able to see my baby today and hearing that everything was progressing normally. Now all that anxiety is coming back up and I am so disappointed.
Maybe I am just being a spoiled brat, I don't know. How would you feel? I am looking up other OB's right now because I am not looking forward to 9 months of cancelled doctors appointments.

how did you not mean what you said? thats not miss speaking.

Ceridwen21 · January 2014

111emd said:

Ceridwen21 said:

I hope you treat your L&D nurses with the same amount of respect you've treated your OB's staff. Oh sorry, we forgot to call in your epidural darling!!

Having a home delivery- And I didn't realize nurses were so petty and vindictive? Is that part of their first do no hard oath? "First do no harm, unless your patient is a pain in the ass, then fuck her."

Nurses don't take a Hippocratic oath.

Swap the nurse in my original comment to midwife, or whatever other medical professional is going to be lucky enough to deal with you on the big day.

111emd · January 2014

So, you're all being pretty over redundant. I've explained myself as best I can. I apologize that anyone was offended by my comments. It's how I felt, I was disappointed and irritated. There are way too many people here who literally are only on this board to stir the pot. I appreciate all the impartial and constructive feedback I was given. I DGAF about the rest of the comments that were simply intended to get me to "freak out". I lurked here for a while and saw a lot of this shit happening, it's pretty sad (insert all the "it's pretty sad that you're such a spoiled brat" variations, I love those).

Fact is, I am not going anywhere. I am not going to flag your BS and get banned. I am not going to call you names so you can justify being rude to me in the end. I am certain that the lot of you who have nothing better to do with your time, will continue talking shit here. Have fun with that!

I misspoke- take that for what it's worth and move on- or don't it effects my life in the following ways:

1.

2.

3.

TGIF!

PrimRoseMama · January 2014

111emd said:
Dear lord. I misspoke, and cleared that up already. You must be missing a lot this morning. Keep reading.

That wasn't a case of miss speaking, Hun. That was a tantrum where you didn't use a filter to express how you really feel because you are frustrated that you aren't getting what you want the way you wanted.

I have read the rest of the thread. The "clarification" you offered doesn't help you or somehow justify anything you said initially. If anything, you just keep digging.

Renewing BC can require an exam.

If the patient getting results on tests wants then to get them in person? They have a right to that.

Throwing a bitch-fit to get your way doesn't sound less bratty. It's equally shitty. Your uneventful, as-far-as-you-know healthy pregnancy does not trump anyone else's care.

You keep saying that "you aren't saying that" but your actions very clearly demonstrate that you feel that you are more important. There is being a firm advocate for yourself as a patient. Then there is "don't care, want it now" foot stomping. You are doing the latter & not the former.

Mimaloo · January 2014

So you made a prenatal appointment when you were 2 weeks pregnant? That would be before you even had a positive HPT.

Mimaloo · January 2014

111emd said:

Regardless of when YOU all are first being seen, I was told I would be seen today and having that cancelled with less than an hrs notice is totally unprofessional. I have a right to feel angry and disappointed. I also have a right to vent those frustrations.

Also, I did not mean to insinuate that literally every non-pregnant patient being seen was less important than I am because I am K/U. But I can guarantee you that there is at least one patient being seen today who is simply coming in to renew her B/C (which can be done on the phone at my office) or someone who is picking up their test results (again which can be done on the phone). I can remember, 3 yrs ago, being called and asked if I could give up my appt (it was my annual pap) so that another patient could be seen for HER prenatal check up. So that is where I got the idea of moving appts. around.

Lastly, my irritation with this office has been a long time coming as they have literally cancelled half a dozen appointments with me over the last 3 years, many times with little notice, resulting in me having to take another unpaid day off of work. I stay because my DH and I were trying to get pregnant and adore our doctor. It's her office that has their heads up their asses IMO.

In any event, it appears as if they can get me in on Monday after all- and all I had to do was bite a few heads off. See, being a drama queen sometimes works out in your favor. ;-)

Oh my....you're a special one.

NicoleNielsen59 · January 2014

OP, I would be pissed off too

mamaloaf · January 2014

111emd said:
"I used to think the "mean girls" here were actually mean, then I realized they have probably been dealing with random idiots like GINA for a while and just know how to weed them out better than the rest of us. We need the "mean girls" here now. Let them at her! That would be entertaining!"

OP, you remember saying this a few days ago? Random idiot, spoiled brat, all the same.

firefliesandfjords · January 2014

I thought that was her that posted that!

111emd · January 2014

mana84 said:

111emd said:
"I used to think the "mean girls" here were actually mean, then I realized they have probably been dealing with random idiots like GINA for a while and just know how to weed them out better than the rest of us. We need the "mean girls" here now. Let them at her! That would be entertaining!"

OP, you remember saying this a few days ago? Random idiot, spoiled brat, all the same.

LOL, Yeah, I am exactly in the same boat as a spammer who was not pregnant (but kept insisting she was) and called members degrading names. That's me.

She openly and venomously attacked members, as far as I know I haven't personally attacked anyone, name called or trolled any of the topics. Cute try though. And that's ADORABLE that you think you or anyone else here is who I was referring to when I said "the mean girls".

The women I was referring to are the ones who treat the REAL members here with respect and whoop on the trolling assholes who name call and flame people. The ones who weed out the spammers. I am not spam. I am a real person with a, clearly, unpopular opinion. Unfortunately for you and for the other women here trying to rile me up, I don't NEED anyone else to validate my opinion. I do hate feeling misunderstood, but luckily it's not by anyone worthwhile. I asked a question (Would you be irritated if this happened to you) and many people answered. I am not angered or butthurt by anyone answers.

I am, however, a little annoyed that a select few want to beat a dead horse. I get it, you think I'm an asshole. Congratulations. I am probably not the first one you've met and I won't be the last. I am sorry you're all so bent out of shape. Some peoples lives are just that boring, I guess.

24karat · January 2014

I know you mentioned being disappointed about not seeing your baby today, but do you realize that a nurse intake appointment (which, if your RN called in sick this is what it would be) usually doesn't include an u/s? Just wanted to throw that out there in case you don't get one at your intake appointment. Even high risk moms get their appointments moved around. Yes, it's annoying/disappointing, but most of us don't go biting the messenger's head off about it. At least they called and got in touch with you. Plus having an early morning appointment means if someone calls out, you generally get the least amount of notice.

We don't know you in person but the general vibe of your posts makes it appear that you have a tendency to provoke people, not respect appropriate boundaries, or don't consider ramifications before you speak:

111emdmember

January 2

Meery82 said:
Ok, now I really want to know what you said to her! She sounds insane. I can be a dick sometimes, but doesn't it count if it's well deserved?

ETA: @111emd. Sorry, forgot to quote.

It was awful, yes she was being an a-hole...but I totally crossed the line. She had a photo of her daughter as her default pic on Pintrest. I asked her who was taking care of that "ugly ass kid while you're online being a cyber bully?"

That did it. She went full stalker and had all my contact info by dinner time. Lesson learned. And now I am probably gonna get hate mail from all of the mama's on here too

I promise I know better now!

firefliesandfjords · January 2014

I don't think you're an asshole. You are an indisputable asshole. Who tells another mother that she has an "ugly ass kid"? That's never okay.

PrimRoseMama · January 2014

vikingmom806 said:
I don't think you're an asshole. You are an indisputable asshole. Who tells another mother that she has an "ugly ass kid"? That's never okay.

I think it would qualify as "saying something venomous", right?

Sounds as if OP can't hide the BSC.

oughtonk · January 2014

I'm sorry ladies but she has a right to feel frustrated about this, maybe venting on here wasn't the best decision but I don't think attacking someone for venting their frustration is fair. I'm sure we've all been a little over reactive and spoiled as some point in our lives. It happens, I know I've been guilty of it in the past. Yes appointments get canceled and it sucks but it's also insanely frustrating especially early on when you need the reassurance that the baby is okay and developing, she clearly stated that her doctor "helped" her get pregnant, meaning this might have taken some more time and effort making her excited and anxious. The first trimester is stressful because a lot can go wrong. When you're looking forward to something for weeks and an hour before it gets canceled not everyone can just go with the flow and deal with it. We all cope differently. IMO if a doctors office charges you for canceling at less than 24 hours they should be held to a similar standard to their patients. 111emd I would definitely consider looking for a different doctor. I had a similar issue with an OB when I was younger and switched to my current doc and they are awesome. It was the best decision I made for my health and sanity. Stay calm and try not to stress, yeah it sucks but stuff happens that is out of our control. Vent and move forward.

PrimRoseMama · January 2014

oughtonk said:
I'm sorry ladies but she has a right to feel frustrated about this, maybe venting on here wasn't the best decision but I don't think attacking someone for venting their frustration is fair. I'm sure we've all been a little over reactive and spoiled as some point in our lives. It happens, I know I've been guilty of it in the past.

Yes appointments get canceled and it sucks but it's also insanely frustrating especially early on when you need the reassurance that the baby is okay and developing, she clearly stated that her doctor "helped" her get pregnant, meaning this might have taken some more time and effort making her excited and anxious. The first trimester is stressful because a lot can go wrong. When you're looking forward to something for weeks and an hour before it gets canceled not everyone can just go with the flow and deal with it. We all cope differently.

IMO if a doctors office charges you for canceling at less than 24 hours they should be held to a similar standard to their patients.

111emd I would definitely consider looking for a different doctor. I had a similar issue with an OB when I was younger and switched to my current doc and they are awesome. It was the best decision I made for my health and sanity. Stay calm and try not to stress, yeah it sucks but stuff happens that is out of our control. Vent and move forward.

I fail to see how anyone is attacking OP. She admitted to over reacting & called herself a brat.

She definitely can vent. That doesn't mean because she feels strongly or is emotional that she exempt from feedback on the tone/content of her vent.

If anyone posts things that sound this bad they will get flamed. Don't like it? Vent in your journal, blog or to your friends. We don't know OP & as such are not required to coddle her.

Her post is shitty. She acted in a shitty way.

AndreaKae27 · January 2014

madfam0405 said:
I'm sorry you're frustrated, but 1st appts aren't usually until 8-12 weeks. And also ultrasounds this early aren't usually given unless you are high risk or having complications.

Find a new OB...

Agreed. I havent "seen" my little peanut at all. Im 12 weeks. Just had my 2nd appointment. Only heard the heartbeat today.

Want a personalized experience?

1st prenatal visit cancelled- SUPER irritated

Re: 1st prenatal visit cancelled- SUPER irritated

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