my husband is a cocky idiot.

Hegi627 · January 2014

Someone please post here, so I can show my husband, that our lack of a child is not the fault of his penis size. I wish I was kidding, but I am not. He is concerned that he might be 'overshooting' his mark, and that is why we are not pregnant yet. I have given him a lesson on female anatomy, but he is unconvinced. He is not overly endowed, I don't think. Anyone else ever have a husband spout something this idiotic?

kleigh926 · January 2014

Haha... um... no. That is one of the most hilarious and ridiculous things I've ever heard. Feel free to show this to him.

nikiz628 · January 2014

Penis size is not why you are not pregnant! lol

hullabalou · January 2014

At least you don't have this problem

(Need help ttc my partner it too small)

janda426 · January 2014

Unless his penis busts through your uterus every time you have sex, let him know that his swimmers are definitely being dropped off at the correct pool.

amberhoothoot · January 2014

Please assure him, this is not a thing.

lol

Manateearmz · January 2014

Maybe you should only do oral and his "overshooting" would hit the desired target?

Also this gif needs to be here:

KingLED · January 2014

mrskbuck said:

At least you don't have this problem
(Need help ttc my partner it too small)

I swear, every time I read that I read it as she's trying to conceive her partner.

Hegi627 · January 2014

Thanks ladies. He is suitably chagrined now. And feeling a little foolish. Haha. Men, I swear.

ETA: I feel like I should clarify that we have had problems with him hitting my cervix in the past, so that is why he is concerned. I did some googling (bad idea, btw) and he is larger than average. So I can kinda understand where he might be coming from? Lol

jjsmommy0714 · January 2014

My husband even laughed at this one lol

augusta17 · January 2014

O.M.G. NO!

CDumpster84 · January 2014

Did no one else catch it that she said her husband is a "cocky" idiot? Lol

hullabalou · January 2014

EllyD14 said:

mrskbuck said:

At least you don't have this problem
(Need help ttc my partner it too small)

I swear, every time I read that I read it as she's trying to conceive her partner.

Hahah. Me too! I had to read it a few times to even guess what she meant.

Hegi627 · January 2014

CDumpster84 said:
Did no one else catch it that she said her husband is a "cocky" idiot? Lol

I must admit, I love a good pun.

ngolimento · January 2014

Hegi627 said:
Thanks ladies. He is suitably chagrined now. And feeling a little foolish. Haha. Men, I swear.

ETA: I feel like I should clarify that we have had problems with him hitting my cervix in the past, so that is why he is concerned. I did some googling (bad idea, btw) and he is larger than average. So I can kinda understand where he might be coming from? Lol

Not to crush his ego, but this issue has more to do with your sensivity than his size. The cervix will get bumped by most men during sex unless they are only 2 inches long. Some women are just more sensitive to the bumping than others.

For example, my cervix is pretty insensitive, and I don't get bothered by pretty vigerous sex. I actually have to be mindful not to get carried away, because it won't really tell me when I've had too much.

WolFox · January 2014

I wonder what I'd even google for that... "Clinical studies correlating frequency of cervix punching during coitus to fertility"

(PS Correlation still isn't causation.... yes I just snarked myself..)

Hegi627 · January 2014

Oh no, I just googled average penis size. Its only certain positions that cause pain. I didn't take him seriously, @WolFox, he doesn't really understand how my body works. He is trying though

Pintobean39 · January 2014

This is for real?? I seriously thought it was MUD.

You say he hits your cervix only some times but he's larger than average. Personally I'm not even sure what avg is but your cervix isn't that far up and he should hit it most times.

Manateearmz · January 2014

@pintobean39 Same here! I thought MUD for sure.

Also if I can reach my cervix with my finger, I would hope that the average penis is larger than my middle finger.

MmmPopcorn · January 2014

@Hegi627 The other ladies here have answered your question satisfactorily, but I want it known that I want hot dwarf from your siggy to get me pregnant. That is all.

MMason12 · January 2014

Thank you for my morning laugh! Wow! Maybe he should do some research on his own to figure out that it's a factor.

ADH0906 · January 2014

Haha, this is awesome. My husband laughed but then immediately got that look on his face that I know means he's thinking: "wait. maybe..." and we had to go over basic biology again. Oh menz.

@MmmPopcorn Yessss.

ngolimento · January 2014

FINEdoubleLINE said:
I am confused. Where exactly did he think his sperm were going?

Do men think our vaginas are cavernous, black holes that have no end?

Well I don't know about yours, but mine is an endless black hole monster

.

Hegi627 · January 2014

FINEdoubleLINE said:

I am confused. Where exactly did he think his sperm were going? Do men think our vaginas are cavernous, black holes that have no end?

I have no idea what he thought. He had zero idea of what was going on down there, as our high school didn't believe in teaching boys about basic female plumbing. We had a long talk after he expressed his concern to me, along with a skimming of the Cervix Project. He's got it now.

I am aware, @Pintobean 39 & @Manateearmz that the cervix isn't in there a foot deep or anything. We had an incident last week and it made him paranoid. This wasn't a real question, in that I was concerned that his penis was going to bust through my back, it was to give you ladies (and a few husbands, as well!) a smile.

janda426 · January 2014

FINEdoubleLINE said:
I am confused. Where exactly did he think his sperm were going?

Do men think our vaginas are cavernous, black holes that have no end?

Maybe that's why everyone feels sorry for our husbands?

ngolimento · January 2014

FINEdoubleLINE said:
@Peledreamsofrain - at the back of mine there is a yellow, brick road that goes to the emerald city. I think the flying monkeys are the reason I am not pregnant yet.

Hahaha! I always did hate those bastards!

Hegi627 · January 2014

LindsRockies said:

When I was thinking about getting an IUD after my second was born, my husband was really against it.

I asked him why and he goes "it's really weird that the strings are going to hang out of your vag. It's not going to be too fun for me." I had to sit down and explain to him the difference between a vagina and a cervix.

This. Why can't some female reproductive anatomy be taught in school? I mean, nothing graphic, just a basic, this is a vagina, this is a cervix, here is the urethra lesson.

ETA: I'm getting my husband this book. Should clear everything up, while teaching him the language of his grandmother. Win win.

Want a personalized experience?

my husband is a cocky idiot.

Re: my husband is a cocky idiot.

Choose Another Board

Search Boards