But please don't call it marriage, because it's not.
Why not?
Because of the above definition. ------------ To you. And the Bible. Which should have no bearing on government granted legal rights.
You can call it whatever you want. Your church can call it whatever it wants. But the government should not make a distinction based on your beliefs and your Bible.
What do you call non-sacred "marriages" of people with opposite genitals? Like the ones for money, or citizenship? Or what about non-sacred marriages by people with opposite genitals who do not believe in your Christian god?
But please don't call it marriage, because it's not.
Why not?
Because of the above definition.
This is the segregation argument. We are OK with it, but just call it something different. They need to be separate but equal. Bullshit. It didn't work in schools with races, it doesn't work in this situation either.
I have friends that say this same argument. It is picking and choosing what you wish to believe from the bible and imposing it on others. I believe in the bible, but it is not the same as legality. It may be what you live YOUR life by, but there is no rule that others have to do the same.
And in the end, if the bible is the only "correct" document out there, heaven sure is going to be an empty place.
Yes, my theological an religious views affect the way I see the world, even when it's not popular.
Just to be clear, I asked that we find another word for "gay marriage" because that's the part I have a problem with- not the people, or their decisions.
I don't want to come off as judgmental, intolerant, or elitist, but wanted to share a view that was not represented on the board. (It wasn't very hot topic-y)
Again, what do you call the unions of the following:
- marrying only for citizenship - marrying only for money - marrying for control - marrying with no intention or ability do procreate - marrying and not believing in the bible - marrying and not being Christian - marrying with no intention or ability to have children - marrying with no intention to be sexually faithful
Because I'm pretty sure those wouldn't be considered "sacred" to you. Are you lobbying to change ALL non-your-definition sanctioned partnerships to not be "marriage"? Or do you only care about genitals? And what if someone in a previously same sex relationship has a sex change? Can they be "married' then?
Yes, my theological an religious views affect the way I see the world, even when it's not popular.
Just to be clear, I asked that we find another word for "gay marriage" because that's the part I have a problem with- not the people, or their decisions.
I don't want to come off as judgmental, intolerant, or elitist, but wanted to share a view that was not represented on the board. (It wasn't very hot topic-y)
I get what you're saying with the whole they can have a mawwaige but not a marriage. lol... Words are not defined by religion, they are defined by society and culture and typically evolved with them.
*which is ironic that words evolve... they don't... exist from nothing and magically appear.
"Marriage is defined and designed to be a sacred relationship between a man and a woman- a commitment to each other, before God." According to who?
Because according to Webster's Dictionary (and he's legit) the definition is:
mar·riage
noun\ˈmer-ij, ˈma-rij\
: the relationship that exists between a husband and a wife
: a similar relationship between people of the same sex
: a ceremony in which two people are married to each other
Full Definition of MARRIAGE
1
a (1):
the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or
wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (2): the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage <same-sex marriage
b. the mutual relation of married persons - wedlock
c. the institution whereby individuals are joined in a marriage
I didn't see God mentioned in there.
I believe in God and the Bible and consider myself to be a religious person. But marriage is a "consensual and contractual relationship recognized by the law".
Religion should not dictate the law. By doing so, aren't you saying that every other religion is "wrong"???
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At first I was cringing because you linked Fox News... but after reading the article, I see what he's saying. It doesn't seem like he agrees with gay marriage, but at least recognizes that the government shouldn't be involved. Churches can perform any type of ceremony they choose and as far as legal "marriage" - couples (or multiple individuals) can have some sort of prenuptial agreement and everyone files federal taxes as individuals. Makes sense to me and I don't think I would mind one bit if our government could actually get their heads out of their asses and move towards something like this.
-------------------------
I don't think it'd be a bad thing if the government ONLY issued "civil unions" for EVERYONE regardless of sex/gender identity, and then those who wanted "marriage" could pursue that with the religious institution of their choice --- some of which would perform same-sex marriages (mine does) and some of which wouldn't.
Ideally all religions would be on board with marriage equality, but I don't see that any time soon.
For me, it comes back to separation of church and state. I may disagree with how one religion chooses to view marriage, but I can also always choose not to associate with said religion. The government, however, has no right to restrict the rights of one subset of people, and it disgusts me that many states do. You can't choose who you love. If that love is genuine, then why shouldn't homosexuals have the right to marry and commit themselves to each other the way heterosexuals do? It seems to be the utmost in discrimination to me. States that are standing on the biblical definition of marriage as the reason are forgetting the first argument I presented - separation of church and state. Keep religion out of government, and unless I choose to have it, keep it out of marriage. It's why we have religious unions as well as legal ones, and why we need to have religious divorces as well as legal ones.
RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me. You made my wedding day complete.
This has always been a difficult topic for me because I was raised in a very conservative Christian household and I'm still a conservative Christian. However, even in high school I recognized that there is no legitimate reason same sex marriage shouldn't be legal due to separation of church and state. Regardless of how one feels about same sex marriages, they should be legal because everyone is "supposed" to be created equal.
My personal feelings about gay people changed after a close friend from childhood came out as gay. It was pretty evident he was gay even as a child, but I was taught gay people "choose" their lifestyle. When he came out as an adult, it was confirmation for me that you are BORN with your sexual preference. I can't imagine it being "wrong" when you get no choice in the matter. It also hurts my heart that my gay friends most likely feel judged and condemned by so many religious groups as well as our government since same sex marriage still isn't legal in all states.
Therefore, I've decided to NOT judge gay people and vote they do what makes them happy. God can judge them however he wants but that is his call...not mine. I plan to love my gay friends and make them feel accepted and not rejected.
Marriage is defined and designed to be a sacred relationship between a man and a woman- a commitment to each other, before God.
If the government wants to give the legal benefits of marriage to same-sex couples, there's not a lot I can do about it. But please don't call it marriage, because it's not.
First off, I feel bad because clearly you represent (as of yet) the ONLY person with the opposing view lol...
But anywho...
My one response is that this is NOT actually the definition of marriage. Many people don't get married in church... You can go to city hall.... Or a field.... Wherever.
Also, wouldn't that mean an Atheist also shouldn't be able to use the word "marriage"?
Perhaps people who get married "under god" should call it a "holy marriage" but everyone else should just call it "marriage".
Marriage is defined and designed to be a sacred relationship between a man and a woman- a commitment to each other, before God.
If the government wants to give the legal benefits of marriage to same-sex couples, there's not a lot I can do about it. But please don't call it marriage, because it's not.
This is historically inaccurate. There may be some biblical aspect to this, but historically marriage was designed and defined as a way to transfer property between men and families. According to British law in the 1700s, "the very being and legal existence of the woman is suspended during the marriage." -William Blackstone
As a matter of fact, marriage was considered an entirely secular practice until the early 13th century. Prior to that, the church wanted nothing to do with it as celibacy was what was considered sacred.
You are certainly entitled to your belief that marriage is supposed to be between a man and a woman. I clearly don't agree with that, but even if that were the case, the reasoning behind that has little, if anything, to do with how marriage was originally designed or defined.
Marriage is defined and designed to be a sacred relationship between a man and a woman- a commitment to each other, before God.
If the government wants to give the legal benefits of marriage to same-sex couples, there's not a lot I can do about it. But please don't call it marriage, because it's not.
BIBLICAL marriage is what you're describing. (And this Bible-belt raised church girl has conflicting views on that as well.) Legal marriage is (or should be) considered something entirely different. It shouldn't be the business of the government or the church to dictate the definition of legal marriage to consenting adults in a free country. I love Jesus. And I also love people. That's what makes me a Christian. Not some small minded belief that every word the church speaks is the truth. If my gay friends choose to get married it should be recognized by the state. If the church chooses to not recognize it that is well within its rights also. But if Christians choose to judge others according to their own actions that's the true sin. In fact, that was the original sin that tempted Adam and Eve... Crap. I wasn't going to participate in Hot Topic Tuesday this week. I just can't stand when people use the Bible to perpetuate the opposite of Christianity... Love.
I hope that I did not communicate something unloving. I am surprised at what you deduced from my post. Let me clarify: I did not say that gay marriage should be illegal. I did not say that everyone who does not conform to the biblical definition of marriage is evil. Nor did I I condone the response that churches and other religious groups have had toward the LGBT community (which I find embarrassing, unloving and horrible).
However, I did say how I define marriage, and how gay marriage doesn't fit into that (albeit biblically-rooted) definition. I like the idea of legal, civil unions from the government for everyone as an alternative to legal (gay) marriage because it would further separate the state's involvement in something I believe should happen in the church.
I know that my opinion is not popular, but the last thing I want to communicate is unloving, removed judgement.
They just made it legal in Utah, which is HUGE! Love, love, love it! I have so many friends that this will affect in a positive way. Love is love, it's nobody's business!
Consenting adults should be able to marry whoever the f*** they want. Anything else is discriminatory and other words ending in "ist." And just plain wrong.
I actually disagree, I think just because two consenting adults want to married they shouldn't necessarily be able to. I think that if a brother and sister fall in love, they shouldn't be allowed to get married, or anyone who is related. So in fact the logic that two consenting adults should be allowed to marry who they want is flawed, or do you also believe in incest? Not to mention there are crazy things now like "W," marriages where people are trying to Marry more than one woman and man, which I also disagree with. Just because they consent to it doesn't make it right.
I do not believe two consenting adults should be able to marry no matter what, but I do think that gay marriage isn't wrong, they are in fact not one and the same and it's naive to think they are.
My take on gay marriage is this: no one should have less rights then another person. If they wanna get married then that is their business and no one should tell them no. At least there are still people in this world who value marriage. I also think that they shouldn't have more rights than me either, why do they get gay days, and gay rally's? I like being straight, can't I get a day for that? Why do they have charity's for gay people and go crazy about bully's, but the truth is now people are getting bullied if they do not completely conform. My college professor told our class that there are almost no studies on gay marriage, why? Because people are afraid of it. If there are any findings against the popular belief than that person who performed the study pretty much gets crucified. Which to me is wrong!
If someone is gay, cool for them, to me I treat them like a human being, yes you can get married, yes you can have every right I do, yes you do not deserve to be treated badly; however, if you want to be like everyone else, then stop playing the gay card like the world owes you something (not all gay people do this, but some do, and it pisses me off). If you want me to treat you normal, than act normal. Same thing with a straight person, if you act like an idiot I'm gonna treat you like an idiot, it has nothing to do with your sexual preference. Many gay people make being gay a way to victimize themselves. If you are gay, own it, don't use it!
That being said, I think they should let them be married and get every benefit I get. People deserve their shot at happiness and it isn't the government or others rights to tell them no. How would we feel if they banned straight marriage? I'd be pretty angry! That doesn't mean though I all of a sudden have to raise my children to be gay or get a tattoo of a rainbow or go to gay rally's.
Respect someone no matter what nationality, sexual preference, gender, race, etc. they are. This world needs to stop labeling people, gay and straight, black and white, male and female. We are all people. PEOPLE should have the right to marry. PEOPLE should have their freedom. PEOPLE should have the same rights!
If the government wants to give the legal benefits of marriage to same-sex couples, there's not a lot I can do about it. But please don't call it marriage, because it's not.
So what do I call my marriage? My marriage with my husband had zilch to do with God. Don't worry I won't refer to it as a religious marriage or any denomination but this is one thorn you need to take with the rose.
Marriage existed before Christianity so even calling dibs on the word doesn't work
Edit- ok that came off as super sensitive and rawr, but the heart of the question still stands.
See this is what I mean! Some lady wrote how she felt and everyone attacked her for disagreeing with them. She has her damn freedom of speech too! You not only want gay marriage, you want to take away others rights to believe what they want! I've already stated my opinion that people deserve a shot at happiness, but NO ONE should be okay with stating that they are for gay marriage then demand that someone else with the opposite opinion shouldn't. This is what grinds my gears, it has nothing to do with marriage and everything to do with freedom of speech and harassment! She doesn't have to explain to you why she believes what she does! You also have the same right! If she believes marriage is a union between man and woman before god, then that is her damn right. If you don't believe in god then that is your right. Gay marriage is a popular belief now, and the minority is getting bullied. Just like the duck dynasty thing. How is it okay that people can say that they are for gay marriage, but when someone isn't they aren't allowed to say it on tv now? Wait, so you are taking away his rights? Guess so. People are hypocritical! The people who demand the most tolerance and the ones who are the least tolerant of others! You make me sick!
@Maddeegal - no one was attacked. I don't know where you see that. What the majority of women ARE stating is that people deserve to be treated equally no matter their sexual orientation. Many women are also stating that there should be a difference between religious marriage and civil marriage, and were simply asking for clarification. Calm down.
RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me. You made my wedding day complete.
My personal feelings about gay people changed after a close friend from childhood came out as gay. It was pretty evident he was gay even as a child, but I was taught gay people "choose" their lifestyle. When he came out as an adult, it was confirmation for me that you are BORN with your sexual preference. I can't imagine it being "wrong" when you get no choice in the matter. It also hurts my heart that my gay friends most likely feel judged and condemned by so many religious groups as well as our government since same sex marriage still isn't legal in all states.
I'm arguing just for the sake of arguing here...
My problem with the "they didn't choose it so it should be legal" argument is where do we draw the line? Pedophiles, serial killers, and addicts are all either born that way or made that way through abuse that was no choice of theirs. We could say that we lock up pedophiles and serial killers because they are hurting others, while gay people don't, but then what about addicts? Why shouldn't they be allowed to consume as much of their addiction as they want?
I'm arguing just for the sake of arguing here...
My problem with the "they didn't choose it so it should be legal" argument is where do we draw the line? Pedophiles, serial killers, and addicts are all either born that way or made that way through abuse that was no choice of theirs. We could say that we lock up pedophiles and serial killers because they are hurting others, while gay people don't, but then what about addicts? Why shouldn't they be allowed to consume as much of their addiction as they want?
Ok, but pedophiles and serial killers are hurting other people, and addicts are hurting themselves and often the people around them as their actions when they are high can physically hurt others. How does giving legal rights for gays and lesbians to marry hurt other people?
RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me. You made my wedding day complete.
Can I just point out that the pope has spoken against the unhealthy obsession the Catholic Church has with many topics, one being gay people and gay marriages. Also, he also spoke about how the one true sin of our time is discrimination, of any kind.
I'd just like to say that although the RCC and I have long since parted ways, Pope Francis actually gives me hope that this institution may change in my lifetime. They will likely still have far too many fundamental issues for me to find my way back, but progress is progress.
Everyone has the right to free speech..... doesn't mean that everyone is going to appreciate what you said..... The whole Duck Dynasty thing was blown out of proportion by both sides. Yes he has freedom of speech, but so do those who disagree and they are free to voice their opinions as such. Hot topic Tuesday by name probably means there is going to be some debate... I didn't see anything overly malicious in any responses. That being said, I am 100% for gay marriage and nonjudgement of all people. I am also a Christian. "Love thy neighbor" applies to all neighbors, not just the one who agree with you/believe in the same things you do. I have friends and family who disagree on this topic. Occasionally the topic will come up and we end the discussion with agreeing to disagree, but not before both sides state why they think they're right (a debate!).
Double posting....
See this is what I mean! Some lady wrote how she felt and everyone attacked her for disagreeing with them. She has her damn freedom of speech too! You not only want gay marriage, you want to take away others rights to believe what they want! I've already stated my opinion that people deserve a shot at happiness, but NO ONE should be okay with stating that they are for gay marriage then demand that someone else with the opposite opinion shouldn't. This is what grinds my gears, it has nothing to do with marriage and everything to do with freedom of speech and harassment! She doesn't have to explain to you why she believes what she does! You also have the same right! If she believes marriage is a union between man and woman before god, then that is her damn right. If you don't believe in god then that is your right. Gay marriage is a popular belief now, and the minority is getting bullied. Just like the duck dynasty thing. How is it okay that people can say that they are for gay marriage, but when someone isn't they aren't allowed to say it on tv now? Wait, so you are taking away his rights? Guess so. People are hypocritical! The people who demand the most tolerance and the ones who are the least tolerant of others! You make me sick!
I really think you're the only one getting bent out of shape here. She posted her opinion, and many here questioned the basis for it pretty politely. Nobody attacked her. She came back and clarified her position. That is what happens in a debate, which is what HTT threads are about. No one said she wasn't entitled to her opinion.
Just FYI, people disagreeing with someone is NOT bullying. You're claiming that gay people "play the victim" and now are saying that those against gay marriage are the real victims of bullying? That's pretty rich.
I love and agree with pretty much every answer here. I'm an atheist, my husband is Christian, and we technically had a Christian wedding though DH's pastor was tolerant enough of me to make the ceremony more "spiritual" and less "religious." But we still had a wedding and have a marriage.
I also fully support churches having their own beliefs and refusing to officiate same-sex weddings if they don't agree with it, that's their prerogative.
However, the bible does not belong in the government.
@maddeegal You need to chill out. And get your head out of your ass.
Freedom of speech is not the same as freedom from consequences. You don't seem to understand that.
Also, any kind of hateful speech should be spoken out against, as to not encourage others who are less educated and more bigoted that they should take action against the groups that they hate.
I have no prob with @linzandjer11. I've been asking for clarification on the logic. She has communicated her beliefs in a respectful, and not at all, hateful way. I wish more people were like that.
Including you. Your stance on personal rights is commendable. However, your insistence that minority groups, who are not and have not been treated equally just shut the hell up and quit protesting is absurd. You say you're cool with "the gays" but want them to not advocate for acceptance or recognition or just less hatred is kind of sickening. Terrible things happen because of those hateful groups and they shouldn't be kept out of the public. Just because you are cool with it doesn't mean the vocal public is...and just because you don't want to hear about it anymore doesn't mean it should go away.
i am very conservative and a christian and I am 100% for gay marriage and all people being able to marry whomever they want.
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My personal feelings about gay people changed after a close friend from childhood came out as gay. It was pretty evident he was gay even as a child, but I was taught gay people "choose" their lifestyle. When he came out as an adult, it was confirmation for me that you are BORN with your sexual preference. I can't imagine it being "wrong" when you get no choice in the matter. It also hurts my heart that my gay friends most likely feel judged and condemned by so many religious groups as well as our government since same sex marriage still isn't legal in all states.
I'm arguing just for the sake of arguing here...
My problem with the "they didn't choose it so it should be legal" argument is where do we draw the line? Pedophiles, serial killers, and addicts are all either born that way or made that way through abuse that was no choice of theirs. We could say that we lock up pedophiles and serial killers because they are hurting others, while gay people don't, but then what about addicts? Why shouldn't they be allowed to consume as much of their addiction as they want?
I hate this argument. Equating a homosexual to a pedophile, serial killer, and addict makes me ill. I know you're just arguing to argue and really don't believe this, but please don't go there. I have gay friends and family and it breaks my heart to read stuff like that. That whole thought process is part of what makes being who they are harder than it should ever have to be.
@linzandjer11 handled her minority opinion very well, and I would welcome any other opinion of hers in the future.
@maddeegal chill out! you didn't need to resort to name calling or I'm better than you all talk -- take a read through linzandjer's graceful back and forth and learn something
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Oh God I remember that clusterfuck. Seriously, some of the most ignorant stuff I've ever seen on TB. I think the best/worst part of her 1,000,000 word rant was (paraphrasing):
"There aren't any gay people here to offend, and if there were, I'd tell them to leave, because they can't have children"
I wanted to add that I feel a little uncomfortable that I made the title of the thread "Gay Marriage" because I really believe that marriage is marriage, without modifier.
I should have made it "marriage equality." I only didn't because that's what "my side" uses and I didn't want the thread title to be "biased" but in retrospect it would have been the right thing to do. I think I'll change it now.
My marriage is interracial. 50 or so years ago, it would have been illegal in many states. I'm with PP's on this - I'd never want anyone to be denied the right to marry who they love. One generation ago, I might have been denied that right.
I also think that they shouldn't have more rights than me either, why do they get gay days, and gay rally's? I like being straight, can't I get a day for that? Why do they have charity's for gay people and go crazy about bully's, but the truth is now people are getting bullied if they do not completely conform.
They get rallies and "gay days" (as you call it) because of decades of segregation and unfair treatment... and because there still isn't enough universal acceptance of homosexuality. Thus these "days" are to continue to support what should be a non-issue.
What challenges have you faced being straight? Did you have to overcome enormous obstacles that would deem celebration?
And in reference to bullying.... unless you have actual data, I highly doubt that bullying is more common for people who do not conform versus people who are gay.
My college professor told our class that there are almost no studies on gay marriage, why? Because people are afraid of it. If there are any findings against the popular belief than that person who performed the study pretty much gets crucified. Which to me is wrong!
If someone is gay, cool for them, to me I treat them like a human being, yes you can get married, yes you can have every right I do, yes you do not deserve to be treated badly; however, if you want to be like everyone else, then stop playing the gay card like the world owes you something (not all gay people do this, but some do, and it pisses me off). If you want me to treat you normal, than act normal.
I'm concerned for the quality of your college education if this is what your professor is claiming. Perhaps they don't do studies... because there haven't been enough gay marriages to collect data on....?
"Playing the gay card like the world owes you something" ...................... let's reverse roles for a second. Let's say people were being attacked, isolated, abused, even murdered because you were straight.... wouldn't you act differently?
Consenting adults should be able to marry whoever the f*** they want. Anything else is discriminatory and other words ending in "ist." And just plain wrong.
I actually disagree, I think just because two consenting adults want to married they shouldn't necessarily be able to. I think that if a brother and sister fall in love, they shouldn't be allowed to get married, or anyone who is related. So in fact the logic that two consenting adults should be allowed to marry who they want is flawed, or do you also believe in incest? Not to mention there are crazy things now like "W," marriages where people are trying to Marry more than one woman and man, which I also disagree with. Just because they consent to it doesn't make it right.
I do not believe two consenting adults should be able to marry no matter what, but I do think that gay marriage isn't wrong, they are in fact not one and the same and it's naive to think they are.
My take on gay marriage is this: no one should have less rights then another person. If they wanna get married then that is their business and no one should tell them no. At least there are still people in this world who value marriage. I also think that they shouldn't have more rights than me either, why do they get gay days, and gay rally's? I like being straight, can't I get a day for that? Why do they have charity's for gay people and go crazy about bully's, but the truth is now people are getting bullied if they do not completely conform. My college professor told our class that there are almost no studies on gay marriage, why? Because people are afraid of it. If there are any findings against the popular belief than that person who performed the study pretty much gets crucified. Which to me is wrong!
If someone is gay, cool for them, to me I treat them like a human being, yes you can get married, yes you can have every right I do, yes you do not deserve to be treated badly; however, if you want to be like everyone else, then stop playing the gay card like the world owes you something (not all gay people do this, but some do, and it pisses me off). If you want me to treat you normal, than act normal. Same thing with a straight person, if you act like an idiot I'm gonna treat you like an idiot, it has nothing to do with your sexual preference. Many gay people make being gay a way to victimize themselves. If you are gay, own it, don't use it!
That being said, I think they should let them be married and get every benefit I get. People deserve their shot at happiness and it isn't the government or others rights to tell them no. How would we feel if they banned straight marriage? I'd be pretty angry! That doesn't mean though I all of a sudden have to raise my children to be gay or get a tattoo of a rainbow or go to gay rally's.
Respect someone no matter what nationality, sexual preference, gender, race, etc. they are. This world needs to stop labeling people, gay and straight, black and white, male and female. We are all people. PEOPLE should have the right to marry. PEOPLE should have their freedom. PEOPLE should have the same rights!
Re: Hot Topic Tuesday: Marriage Equality
------------
To you. And the Bible. Which should have no bearing on government granted legal rights.
You can call it whatever you want. Your church can call it whatever it wants. But the government should not make a distinction based on your beliefs and your Bible.
What do you call non-sacred "marriages" of people with opposite genitals? Like the ones for money, or citizenship? Or what about non-sacred marriages by people with opposite genitals who do not believe in your Christian god?
Just to be clear, I asked that we find another word for "gay marriage" because that's the part I have a problem with- not the people, or their decisions.
I don't want to come off as judgmental, intolerant, or elitist, but wanted to share a view that was not represented on the board. (It wasn't very hot topic-y)
- marrying only for citizenship
- marrying only for money
- marrying for control
- marrying with no intention or ability do procreate
- marrying and not believing in the bible
- marrying and not being Christian
- marrying with no intention or ability to have children
- marrying with no intention to be sexually faithful
Because I'm pretty sure those wouldn't be considered "sacred" to you. Are you lobbying to change ALL non-your-definition sanctioned partnerships to not be "marriage"? Or do you only care about genitals? And what if someone in a previously same sex relationship has a sex change? Can they be "married' then?
mar·riage
noun \ˈmer-ij, ˈma-rij\: the relationship that exists between a husband and a wife
: a similar relationship between people of the same sex
: a ceremony in which two people are married to each other
Full Definition of MARRIAGE
b. the mutual relation of married persons - wedlock
c. the institution whereby individuals are joined in a marriage
I didn't see God mentioned in there.
I believe in God and the Bible and consider myself to be a religious person. But marriage is a "consensual and contractual relationship recognized by the law".
Religion should not dictate the law. By doing so, aren't you saying that every other religion is "wrong"???
Little Man arrived 3/28/14 at 10:32pm
9 lb 1 oz & 21 3/4 inches
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I don't think it'd be a bad thing if the government ONLY issued "civil unions" for EVERYONE regardless of sex/gender identity, and then those who wanted "marriage" could pursue that with the religious institution of their choice --- some of which would perform same-sex marriages (mine does) and some of which wouldn't.
Ideally all religions would be on board with marriage equality, but I don't see that any time soon.
RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me.
You made my wedding day complete.
My personal feelings about gay people changed after a close friend from childhood came out as gay. It was pretty evident he was gay even as a child, but I was taught gay people "choose" their lifestyle. When he came out as an adult, it was confirmation for me that you are BORN with your sexual preference. I can't imagine it being "wrong" when you get no choice in the matter. It also hurts my heart that my gay friends most likely feel judged and condemned by so many religious groups as well as our government since same sex marriage still isn't legal in all states.
Therefore, I've decided to NOT judge gay people and vote they do what makes them happy. God can judge them however he wants but that is his call...not mine. I plan to love my gay friends and make them feel accepted and not rejected.
First off, I feel bad because clearly you represent (as of yet) the ONLY person with the opposing view lol...
But anywho...
My one response is that this is NOT actually the definition of marriage. Many people don't get married in church... You can go to city hall.... Or a field.... Wherever.
Also, wouldn't that mean an Atheist also shouldn't be able to use the word "marriage"?
Perhaps people who get married "under god" should call it a "holy marriage" but everyone else should just call it "marriage".
Am I right?
As a matter of fact, marriage was considered an entirely secular practice until the early 13th century. Prior to that, the church wanted nothing to do with it as celibacy was what was considered sacred.
You are certainly entitled to your belief that marriage is supposed to be between a man and a woman. I clearly don't agree with that, but even if that were the case, the reasoning behind that has little, if anything, to do with how marriage was originally designed or defined.
However, I did say how I define marriage, and how gay marriage doesn't fit into that (albeit biblically-rooted) definition. I like the idea of legal, civil unions from the government for everyone as an alternative to legal (gay) marriage because it would further separate the state's involvement in something I believe should happen in the church.
I know that my opinion is not popular, but the last thing I want to communicate is unloving, removed judgement.
I do not believe two consenting adults should be able to marry no matter what, but I do think that gay marriage isn't wrong, they are in fact not one and the same and it's naive to think they are.
My take on gay marriage is this: no one should have less rights then another person. If they wanna get married then that is their business and no one should tell them no. At least there are still people in this world who value marriage. I also think that they shouldn't have more rights than me either, why do they get gay days, and gay rally's? I like being straight, can't I get a day for that? Why do they have charity's for gay people and go crazy about bully's, but the truth is now people are getting bullied if they do not completely conform. My college professor told our class that there are almost no studies on gay marriage, why? Because people are afraid of it. If there are any findings against the popular belief than that person who performed the study pretty much gets crucified. Which to me is wrong!
If someone is gay, cool for them, to me I treat them like a human being, yes you can get married, yes you can have every right I do, yes you do not deserve to be treated badly; however, if you want to be like everyone else, then stop playing the gay card like the world owes you something (not all gay people do this, but some do, and it pisses me off). If you want me to treat you normal, than act normal. Same thing with a straight person, if you act like an idiot I'm gonna treat you like an idiot, it has nothing to do with your sexual preference. Many gay people make being gay a way to victimize themselves. If you are gay, own it, don't use it!
That being said, I think they should let them be married and get every benefit I get. People deserve their shot at happiness and it isn't the government or others rights to tell them no. How would we feel if they banned straight marriage? I'd be pretty angry! That doesn't mean though I all of a sudden have to raise my children to be gay or get a tattoo of a rainbow or go to gay rally's.
Respect someone no matter what nationality, sexual preference, gender, race, etc. they are. This world needs to stop labeling people, gay and straight, black and white, male and female. We are all people. PEOPLE should have the right to marry. PEOPLE should have their freedom. PEOPLE should have the same rights!
Marriage existed before Christianity so even calling dibs on the word doesn't work
Edit- ok that came off as super sensitive and rawr, but the heart of the question still stands.
See this is what I mean! Some lady wrote how she felt and everyone attacked her for disagreeing with them. She has her damn freedom of speech too! You not only want gay marriage, you want to take away others rights to believe what they want! I've already stated my opinion that people deserve a shot at happiness, but NO ONE should be okay with stating that they are for gay marriage then demand that someone else with the opposite opinion shouldn't. This is what grinds my gears, it has nothing to do with marriage and everything to do with freedom of speech and harassment! She doesn't have to explain to you why she believes what she does! You also have the same right! If she believes marriage is a union between man and woman before god, then that is her damn right. If you don't believe in god then that is your right. Gay marriage is a popular belief now, and the minority is getting bullied. Just like the duck dynasty thing. How is it okay that people can say that they are for gay marriage, but when someone isn't they aren't allowed to say it on tv now? Wait, so you are taking away his rights? Guess so. People are hypocritical! The people who demand the most tolerance and the ones who are the least tolerant of others! You make me sick!
RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me.
You made my wedding day complete.
My problem with the "they didn't choose it so it should be legal" argument is where do we draw the line? Pedophiles, serial killers, and addicts are all either born that way or made that way through abuse that was no choice of theirs. We could say that we lock up pedophiles and serial killers because they are hurting others, while gay people don't, but then what about addicts? Why shouldn't they be allowed to consume as much of their addiction as they want?
RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me.
You made my wedding day complete.
Freedom of speech is not the same as freedom from consequences. You don't seem to understand that.
Also, any kind of hateful speech should be spoken out against, as to not encourage others who are less educated and more bigoted that they should take action against the groups that they hate.
I have no prob with @linzandjer11. I've been asking for clarification on the logic. She has communicated her beliefs in a respectful, and not at all, hateful way. I wish more people were like that.
Including you. Your stance on personal rights is commendable. However, your insistence that minority groups, who are not and have not been treated equally just shut the hell up and quit protesting is absurd. You say you're cool with "the gays" but want them to not advocate for acceptance or recognition or just less hatred is kind of sickening. Terrible things happen because of those hateful groups and they shouldn't be kept out of the public. Just because you are cool with it doesn't mean the vocal public is...and just because you don't want to hear about it anymore doesn't mean it should go away.
Married 11/27/09 and TTC right away
Dx: Complete septate uterus with cervical duplication, endometrial polyps, PCOS, endometriosis, hypo thyroid, luteal phase defect
4 uterus surgeries to correct my complete septum and to remove polyps and 2 years of seeing the RE, medicated cycles and IUIs
Baby 1 and 2: BFP 3/3/11 with 2 babies EDD 11/1/11, M/C 4/6/11
Baby #3: 8/11 pregnant EDD 4/27/11 and m/c:(
Baby #4: 10/12/11 BFP! EDD 6/16/12m/c 10/26/11
Baby #5: 3/13/12 BFP! EDD 11/25/12 ANOTHER m/c
Baby #6: 2/14/13- BFP! EDD 10/24/13, CP 2/19/13
Baby #7: 3/15/13- BFP! EDD 11/27/13, another CP
Baby #8. BFP 5/19/13 EDD 1/22/14. 8 was not our lucky number
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My miracle baby was born March 5 at 9:33am. He was 8 lbs 12.5 oz and 21.25 inches long!
I won't go into the religious aspects of marriage as I am agnostic and therefore don't think it is my place to argue this stance.
However, I will point out the economic aspect of marriage equality. More weddings means more wedding business.
"There aren't any gay people here to offend, and if there were, I'd tell them to leave, because they can't have children"
I should have made it "marriage equality." I only didn't because that's what "my side" uses and I didn't want the thread title to be "biased" but in retrospect it would have been the right thing to do. I think I'll change it now.
Exactly this.
What challenges have you faced being straight? Did you have to overcome enormous obstacles that would deem celebration?
And in reference to bullying.... unless you have actual data, I highly doubt that bullying is more common for people who do not conform versus people who are gay.
I'm concerned for the quality of your college education if this is what your professor is claiming. Perhaps they don't do studies... because there haven't been enough gay marriages to collect data on....?
"Playing the gay card like the world owes you something" ...................... let's reverse roles for a second. Let's say people were being attacked, isolated, abused, even murdered because you were straight.... wouldn't you act differently?
Yikes.