Too many acronyms, some of us seem obsessive.....

jennahu · December 2013

Ok, I just struggled through the acronym page, and without trying to be too negative, is it just me that feels as though it's a bit obsessive to refer to some silly-seeming things in acronym form, or, at all?? (baby dance??? really?? That's a thing you use when speaking with your over-inquisitive elderly aunt....not as an adult on a forum. SEX is another, better, existing option, that, if you are having a baby, you should come to terms with!!)

In addition, some of these things are nobody's business.....when your D&C was? Kinda personal!! I'll just be sticking to the humour and support, and complaining about symptoms, lol!!

ColeyJ88 · December 2013

Sorry, some of us want to remember the loss of our babies, as they were very important to us.

jennahu · December 2013

This post was about acronyms and getting too personal...remembering.commemorating your baby is a different thing...unless you remember it only as a d&c..... I guess though, there is no 'too personal' on a pregnancy site...but I feel like there are other places where that discussion would be better suited.

brittandjp · December 2013

Umm that is what this board is for. Things are going to get a hella lot more personal. If you don't like it or the acronyms, you aren't going to enjoy being here.

It's pretty f*cking rude of you to give someone a hard time about sharing their d&c info. Why did you open the thread if you weren't interested? Clearly they were looking for an outlet and support.

This is me being nice. Just waiting for the flames!!!

jennahu · December 2013

Are you done trolling? No flames, I'm not a jerk. Obviously, you didn't read my post as it made no reference to any one post, d &c dates seem to be listed in several signatures, so I have no words for you, except that in future, if you interject your own meaning into things, you will always be correct. Congrats to you for being right again.

ColeyJ88 · December 2013

jennahu said:

This post was about acronyms and getting too personal...remembering.commemorating your baby is a different thing...unless you remember it only as a d&c..... I guess though, there is no 'too personal' on a pregnancy site...but I feel like there are other places where that discussion would be better suited.

no, I don't, but seeing as that it was a missed miscarriage, that is the only date I know of- when the pregnancy ended for me, because there was no way of knowing when the baby stopped growing.

jennahu · December 2013

Wow, as if i said "if you have had a miscarriage, you should just shut up".

Let me re-iterate;

the date of the dilation and curettage of your cervix seems rather too personal for me to care to see in all the posts....and it wasn't that it was a commemorated miscarriage, it's just there are 'child loss' pages where that can be shared, and us newly pregnant folks may already be scared, and are feeling negative information overload when we came here for positive support? This is obviously the wrong site for positivity, and I'm sorry to have offended anyone in any way, and I wish everyone good luck.

mdarmetko · December 2013

I have my d&c on my signature bc I know when I was going through my losses it was helpful to know when other women went through the same kind of miscarriage and what they were experiencing now. Then, when trying again I found it helpful to know how long women were trying before they got pregnant again.

jennahu · December 2013

And you're very clever, clearly.

jennahu · December 2013

There was a 'bigger picture' message to this, which seems to be lost in what is now some kind of anti-miscarriage support statement that I never made....is anyone stopping to consider that hearing of (the reality of) all of these miscarriages and procedures (miscarriage is descriptive, d&c is tmi) may be frightening to a new mom? No? Oh....

Again, not to be too specific, there are too many acronyms to bother here, and some women seem lost in the details, and obsession of anything is unhealthy...there are more details about many women here in their signatures than some of us would ever care to know. Just a commentary.

ColeyJ88 · December 2013

jennahu said:

Wow, as if i said "if you have had a miscarriage, you should just shut up".
Let me re-iterate;
the date of the dilation and curettage of your cervix seems rather too personal for me to care to see in all the posts....and it wasn't that it was a commemorated miscarriage, it's just there are 'child loss' pages where that can be shared, and us newly pregnant folks may already be scared, and are feeling negative information overload when we came here for positive support? This is obviously the wrong site for positivity, and I'm sorry to have offended anyone in any way, and I wish everyone good luck.

Life isn't all puppies and rainbows. Those of us who have gone through loss know this very well. Honestly, you're not going to find any site "for positivity", because loss is a very real (and surprisingly common) thing, and it's about damn time people start to realize this so those of us who have gone through it won't have to feel like we can't share on it, or feel shame or guilt about it. I truly hope you never have to endure it. Maybe there are sites out there that are more naive about pregnancy, but this is not one of them.

Soon-To-BeMrs.P · December 2013

I am hoping that this post goes unnoticed by most people. I hope this post was a momentary lapse in judgement. I am hoping that you have more to offer than defending something that obviously caused offense. I hope you never have to face a date, a loss, a choice between two equally dreadful options. But, if you do, I would hope that someone would share in your pain and support you. I have a long siggy. I have had a long road much like many of the people on this board. Seeing how each person got here gives me hope, creates awareness and networks of support, and promotes community. And I really, really, hope you stop defending what you posted. Just say you're sorry and move on.

nmcclellin · December 2013

Saw your ticker and wanted to say we have the same due date! Congrats!!

nmcclellin · December 2013

gonzol said:

I'm not sure where you saw someone asking when someone's D&C was, but a lot ladies will post about in hopes for support and encouragement... It's a pretty fucking sad time to go through alone.

saw your ticker and saw we have the same due date! congrats!!!

caybeh · December 2013

I didn't have a D&C, but my second pregnancy ended with a natural miscarriage. I am way more nervous/ scared now after my miscarriage than I was when I was pregnant with my son. Personally, I like to see others who had a D&C/loss because then I feel like they understand what I am going through now being pregnant after a loss. Sure, there is a Pgal board, but it is nice to have people on this board due around the same time to support each other too.

beachbum4304 · December 2013

Op you didn't start here well. I suggest a sincere apology and a restart or a goodbye. Sorry if my sig is too "personal" for you.

beachbum4304 · December 2013

And to the newly pregnant and scared comment of course we all worry. Because stuff happens and if it does I'm so thankful for all these women who have lived through it and I know will be supportive.

brittandjp · December 2013

I agree @johnjacobhingleheimer.

How can you join a PREGNANCY forum and not expect to hear about losses of any form?! Just wait until the due dates arrive. We'll be talking about how dilated our vaginas are. Or even better, post delivery when we talk about the quantity and consistency of our poop or lack thereof.

I get it, being a new mom and all the worry that comes along with it. We all felt it. Even as a STM, I still worry and in fact, even more so! However, that doesn't mean the women struggling, losing their little ones, etc. aren't allowed to look for support here. While I understand your worry, I don't believe your best interest or any FTM for that matter is anyone's priority.

You're in the wrong place OP. If you can handle it, then sure, stick around. However, it sounds like this place is far too personal and honest, not full of the knock knock joke humor you were hoping for. Though if you're looking for humor, there are a few boards full of snarky women creating all sorts of humorous drama.

Jennyfahh · December 2013

People use their signatures as a way to share their journeys, the whole journey, not bits and pieces, with fellow mama's doing the same thing. If I'm not mistaken, there is a way to turn off this feature so you don't see them if you find them offensive (or, being words on a screen, you always have the option to just skip on over the text all together.) As far as the acronyms go, they take getting used to but they're pretty common for forums of all types. I'll be honest, I have no idea what half of them mean but by context they're pretty easy to figure out. No one is forcing you to use them- I personally prefer the term sexy time, but I'm not gonna get my panties in a bunch (PIAB?), or waste mine and everyone else's time posting about it, if other people want to continue doin' what they do.

ShadowsRainFalls · December 2013

This whole thread makes my head spin. @jennahu I am sure you, or I am hoping you, did not mean what you said as harshly as you came across, but at the same time..you seem to keep digging yourself deeper and deeper. This thread makes me sad for so many reasons. I REALLY hope every woman out there that has suffered a loss, knows that sharing that information is absolutely okay, and we are here for you!

Unknown · December 2013

This content has been removed.

mikescutie7 · December 2013

Even if you didn't mean to come across as insensitive to miscarriages, which you totally did, there's no point to your post at all other than to complain about how we do things here

Also I'm a newly pregnant, FTM and seeing the loss posts don't scare me, I've learned on my time at the bump that we are here to support each other so that's all I think about

katieharpiceland · December 2013

Wow, I'm bored on Christmas vacation and lurking from April 14. OP you are a horrible person to say what you have said. August has been too kind to you. Far too kind.

LoverOfCities · December 2013

jennahu said:

There was a 'bigger picture' message to this, which seems to be lost in what is now some kind of anti-miscarriage support statement that I never made....is anyone stopping to consider that hearing of (the reality of) all of these miscarriages and procedures (miscarriage is descriptive, d&c is tmi) may be frightening to a new mom? No? Oh....

I'm a first timer, and I certainly don't have the same feelings you do regarding this. Don't lump first timers into a box where you (or anyone) assumes we need to be sheltered from the real world, or that we prefer it to be that way. Granted, we (first timers) have never been through this stuff, maybe we have silly questions sometimes, maybe we don't know everything there is to know.. but we aren't all naive and stupid. If anyone does any research at all, whether a 1st baby or 10th, you know miscarriages happen. And they happen a lot more than you think. And on a board filled with 100+ women, it's going to happen.

You're basically saying, above, that anyone who has a loss should hide the process (and whatever goes on after it) from a first timer because of their possible fears? That is, hands down, one of the most selfish things I've ever heard.

Hearing of losses, D&C's (and whatever) does not cause fear in me. I know the statistics. It causes sadness in me, because I wish it wouldn't happen. I don't care if someone puts it in their siggy. Dates, procedures... it's none of your business. It's called honoring what they lost. I hope to never be there, but I'm realistic. And while I can't relate, I can certainly understand why.

BeachM · December 2013

Oh good, the weeding out is starting.

Allison7 · December 2013

@jennahu I get that the idea of seeing everyone's losses can be scary, but that is reality. It is my reality that after 3 cps, I am terrified of what could go wrong and I think about it every day. For those of us who have been through losses and IF, we have siggys with this information for the other boards on TB that we participate in...they are helpful so we don't have to repeat our histories on every post. But there is something I would like to point out, you were so busy being offended by our loss laden siggys that you never considered your own could upset someone...yeah, it must be nice getting pregnant on the first try. It must be nice to never have a loss, to skip months and months of trying without results, to get to avoid having an RE tell you your eggs are diminished. After 2 years of IF and 3 losses, I have only been on the boards with other women struggling and let me tell you, if you showed up on those boards with that siggy it would be considered offensive. I know you aren't trying to be offensive, but that is reality - most couples go through a lot more on their journey to have a baby. I wish you GL, but please realize that those of us with losses aren't going away, so if you don't want to see our info either turn it off or find a different board that doesn't have active boards for women who experienced loss

ellaef1984 · December 2013

Well aren't you a winner!

Izzy0927 · December 2013

Edit- Forget it. Gotta watch my karma.

rstarrlemaitre · December 2013

I just want to say, as a first time bumper and woman on my first pregnancy, I have loved this community so far. I'm a female with Asperger's and have a hard time connecting with women IRL, so I've loved learning the acronyms, feeling like part of a community, and hearing everyone's stories - and yes that includes both th triumphs and the sadness along the way, every bit of the journey counts. Hugs to August 14 ladies!

bmcoburn · December 2013

Wow OP....sorry for all the negativity and backlash you're getting.
This post obviously wasn't intended to make everyone angry or start a fight.
One comment and it's misconstrued and made into a huge deal....guess that's what happens when you post on a forum with a bunch of hormonal women--complete bitchiness.

Everyone needs to stop being so easily offended. There were times before the sacred internet, you know, and a lot of people lived through miscarriage without writing dates on their faces. You're own memory is one thing. It's personal. But to share it with everyone else at all times makes some people uncomfortable. Many people experience loss, it's hurts no matter if it's your unborn baby, your 3 yr old child, your mother or your husband or your best friend....so stop acting like this girl is a heartless bitch who doesn't know what loss feels like.

I'm finding my days are probably limited here as I get more stressed every time I look at the childish nonsense. Lots of negative opinions and not so much support. Not the type of group of people (for the most part) that I want to be going through a positive period of my life with.

And I just have to point out the "apologize or leave" comment.

All of this is bullying. If you didn't like what was said you could've closed out and moved on with REAL life but instead you all ganged up on an individual and kicked her. Very mature behavior for women who are or will be parents. I hope you don't teach your children it's ok to bully people EVEN IF---ESPECIALLY IF--YOU DISAGREE WITH THEIR OPINION.

bmcoburn · December 2013

That's what I'm talking about. LOTS of maturity on this forum ^^^

Sad excuses for adults.

OP said something people didn't like. I don't even agree with her. But it's pretty sad when no one bothers to stick up for the person who is being trashed. I don't care how many "fuck off"s I get. I'm. A big girl, I can take it. If that's the price I have to pay to speak up for someone else NOT because I agree with them but because I disagree with everyone slamming her.

KJLR2012 · December 2013

bmcoburn said:

That's what I'm talking about. LOTS of maturity on this forum ^^^ Sad excuses for adults. OP said something people didn't like. I don't even agree with her. But it's pretty sad when no one bothers to stick up for the person who is being trashed. I don't care how many "fuck off"s I get. I'm. A big girl, I can take it. If that's the price I have to pay to speak up for someone else NOT because I agree with them but because I disagree with everyone slamming her.

To quote someone I think you know, " If you didn't like what was said you could've closed out and moved on with REAL life"

MyFirstRaspberry · December 2013

bmcoburn said:

Wow OP....sorry for all the negativity and backlash you're getting. This post obviously wasn't intended to make everyone angry or start a fight. One comment and it's misconstrued and made into a huge deal....guess that's what happens when you post on a forum with a bunch of hormonal women--complete bitchiness. Everyone needs to stop being so easily offended. There were times before the sacred internet, you know, and a lot of people lived through miscarriage without writing dates on their faces. You're own memory is one thing. It's personal. But to share it with everyone else at all times makes some people uncomfortable. Many people experience loss, it's hurts no matter if it's your unborn baby, your 3 yr old child, your mother or your husband or your best friend....so stop acting like this girl is a heartless bitch who doesn't know what loss feels like. I'm finding my days are probably limited here as I get more stressed every time I look at the childish nonsense. Lots of negative opinions and not so much support. Not the type of group of people (for the most part) that I want to be going through a positive period of my life with. And I just have to point out the "apologize or leave" comment. All of this is bullying. If you didn't like what was said you could've closed out and moved on with REAL life but instead you all ganged up on an individual and kicked her. Very mature behavior for women who are or will be parents. I hope you don't teach your children it's ok to bully people EVEN IF---ESPECIALLY IF--YOU DISAGREE WITH THEIR OPINION.

@bmcoburn Yea, this isn't going to end well for you white knight.

OP, just told me to hide my miscarriage, hide my baby who died and pretend like none of it ever happened. Like my life was not forever changed. It is my story, it is my siggy! Who gives you the right to tell me what I can and can not include in my siggy.

I help people with siggies all the time and I have not ever told a single person to remove something because it was offensive to me. It is none of my damn business what is in their siggy! Get your head out of your naive ass!

Maybe this is for you...

MeggoWaffles · December 2013

bmcoburn said:
That's what I'm talking about. LOTS of maturity on this forum ^^^

Sad excuses for adults.

OP said something people didn't like. I don't even agree with her. But it's pretty sad when no one bothers to stick up for the person who is being trashed. I don't care how many "fuck off"s I get. I'm. A big girl, I can take it. If that's the price I have to pay to speak up for someone else NOT because I agree with them but because I disagree with everyone slamming her.

Everyone is slamming her not because she voiced her opinion, but because her opinion was cruel and hurtful to women who have gone through one of the most horrible experiences imaginable.

It's pretty simple. Don't be a douche, and people won't tell you to apologize or leave.

Edit: also, how DARE you say we don't offer much support. This IS us being supportive to the people who deserve it.

Third&goal · December 2013

Im not trying to bully anyone but I am really offended when people say I should keep my loss history to myself so it doesn't scare them.

Should all cancer patients wear hats so their bald heads don't scare you too?

LoverOfCities · December 2013

Why do some people blame honesty on hormones? PET PEEVE.

You're gonna act stupid, I'm gonna say something whether I'm pregnant or not. Hormones or not.

sarahg8r · December 2013

Wow, I knew it wouldn't be long before the crazies started coming out. Funny this all started the day after the post about how nice and supportive everyone on the August BMB is.

rockyrollgirl · December 2013

And I miss it. Sorry you ladies had to deal with that.

rockyrollgirl · December 2013

Wow OP....sorry for all the negativity and backlash you're getting. This post obviously wasn't intended to make everyone angry or start a fight. One comment and it's misconstrued and made into a huge deal....guess that's what happens when you post on a forum with a bunch of hormonal women--complete bitchiness. Everyone needs to stop being so easily offended. There were times before the sacred internet, you know, and a lot of people lived through miscarriage without writing dates on their faces. You're own memory is one thing. It's personal. But to share it with everyone else at all times makes some people uncomfortable. Many people experience loss, it's hurts no matter if it's your unborn baby, your 3 yr old child, your mother or your husband or your best friend....so stop acting like this girl is a heartless bitch who doesn't know what loss feels like. I'm finding my days are probably limited here as I get more stressed every time I look at the childish nonsense. Lots of negative opinions and not so much support. Not the type of group of people (for the most part) that I want to be going through a positive period of my life with. And I just have to point out the "apologize or leave" comment. All of this is bullying. If you didn't like what was said you could've closed out and moved on with REAL life but instead you all ganged up on an individual and kicked her. Very mature behavior for women who are or will be parents. I hope you don't teach your children it's ok to bully people EVEN IF---ESPECIALLY IF--YOU DISAGREE WITH THEIR OPINION.

Post-it.

jendem8 · December 2013

All I can add is that I (thankfully) didn't know what a D&C was before this crazy post, so I looked it up. It sounds like a truly awful thing to have to experience; my heart breaks for those who have had to go through this or any type MC. I know several people who have had one or more MCs and I can only imagine the pain of wanting a baby so badly but losing it. Of all things for the OP to pick as an acronym that she doesn't like, why attack those who have gone through this hell?

Regardless, I hope that the OP and all of the other ladies on this board have a healthy and successful 9 months... and don't forget how lucky you are.

almostmrsfarmer · December 2013

This posting shows you all need to get a LIFE. I cannot believe you all care so much to write vicious and nasty things to someone voicing their opinion. No one needs to hide their losses, but Jesus no one in a newly pregnant board needs to hear about it. You guys have me fucking paranoid. Good luck to you all, some of us work full time and have a life. I am done with these boards. You all need to grow up. Focus on the kids and families you do have and get the fuck over it!

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Too many acronyms, some of us seem obsessive.....

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Pregnancy #3 after two prior losses in 2013

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